sneakier

Overly strict parenting creates sneakier kids.
Punishing your kids for telling the truth creates better liars. Or people more afraid to tell the truth than to tell a lie.
Invading your children’s privacy creates lifelong crippling trust issues.
Over pressuring you child to succeed creates life long anxiety. And when failing those expectations destroys their self confidence.
Ignoring your children can create emotional dependency and abandonment issues.

Ok but consider Zelda as a playable character

  • can’t run quite as fast as Link but has more stamina so can run for longer
  • ditto swimming, less likely to straight up fkn drown  
  • ditto climbing, can’t do the jumpy thing either 
  • not as good with close combat/melee weapons but does more damage and is faster/more accurate with a bow and arrow 
  • HOWEVER she does some SERIOUS damage if you Flurry Rush and her backflip is graceful as fuck
  • not unlike the Master Sword, the Bow of Light doesn’t break, just needs time to recharge 
  • doesn’t have any of the champions’ abilities (those were intended for Link and will stay that way) but her sacred power has attack, shielding and healing elements depending on the situation in which it is used 
  • elixirs last twice as long cos U KNOW SHE’S BETTER AT MAKING THEM 
  • sneakier!!!! 
  • can wear Link’s armour without it magically moulding to her body and becoming Sexy Armour™ 
  • LOOKS FINE AS FUCK IN THE DESERT VAI OUTFIT THOUGH
  • s e l f i e s 
The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well. 

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.”  “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.”  “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

It

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

… 

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

Candid

Summary: Stiles just wants something to take with him to college. Something special.

Notes: I’ve been wanting to poke fun at this inconsistency in the show for a while, and I finally wrote it! Just another excuse for a little fluff and humor. (On AO3)


Derek grabs a few of Stiles’ heaviest boxes (but not enough to be suspicious, who knows if the neighbors are watching), and slides them into the back of the jeep with the rest of Stiles’ college “essentials.” He’d said he was only taking the bare minimum, but Derek is beginning to doubt that.

At this rate, they’re going to have to pack some stuff in the Camaro, too.

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5

Jack Wilder x Reader

Requested by Anon

Warnings: some smut, mentions of sex


You knew Jack was up to something. Despite his attempts to hide it you knew exactly what he was up to. Of course, it helped when you were taken in for questioning about the Four Horsemen but you’d neglected to tell Jack about that.

So, when he mysteriously vanished for a while you decided to travel to Las Vegas and attend their show, finding it easy to get the money with a few simple tricks and cons. As soon as you set foot on solid ground and walked through the airport you’d managed to con your way into a few free nights at the best hotel Las Vegas had to offer, a town car and a chauffeur.

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anonymous asked:

Who is the most slytherin Disney princess?

Originally posted by disneyasastrology

Jasmine seems to be the one we generally solidly agree on being Slytherin. She fights for her freedom and right to choose both face to face and by sneakier means and is clearly skilled at using people against themselves. She can see how people work and what will illicit which reactions from them and uses that ability to protect both herself and her father’s throne.

-Jamie (Gryffindor)

Trust

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Summary: After you kill the main target on a mission, Bucky can’t help but be angry with you. What happens when he finds out why you killed the target and therefore why you ruined the mission?
Words: 1835
Warning: fighting, killing, mention of the Winter Soldier book…


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2

For anon…reader is caretaker of the younglings as requested. Enjoy!

You quietly left the room where you taught the Younglings. With your key, you locked the door. It had been another late night for you. Mostly, you had stretched your time because of a certain Jedi Knight.

Biting your lip, you started treading down the hall. You walked up the staircase and went on your way. After awhile, you stopped at a seemingly pointless spot in the middle of the hallway. It was only a moment before you felt hands wrap around your waist.

You giggled slightly as you felt Obi Wan rest his chin on your shoulders. You could feel his beard gently scratching at your skin.

“Hello love,” he whispered, “How were the Younglings today?”
You spun in his arms. “A little out of sorts, but a brief visit from your pupil seemed to do them some good.”
He arched a brow. “That so? It was probably good for Anakin as well.”

Obi Wan gazed at you as the two of you fell silent. Without so much as a word, the two of you gently kissed in the quiet of the hallway. You hand held his head as you deepened the kiss, his hands traveling to your hips.

“Beautiful night it is.”

The two of you jumped back from each other as you sheepishly faced Yoda. You kept your gaze away as Obi Wan stuttered to explain.

“M-Master Yoda. I can explain.”
The master simply arched a brow. “For a walk I might go. Many who do at night.”

Obi Wan’s eyes widened slightly. He glanced back at you; you answered with a shrug.

“Sir?” the Jedi Knight chanced at asking.
“Be sneakier you must. Might see someone will.”

The two of you watched in confusion as Master Yoda continued to walk past you.

Perma-tags: @dontbeamenacetotheforce @ttelesilla @jumperswellies @caitsymichelle13 @myplaceofthingsilove

Request Here : Submit Here

8

You had showered and dressed into new clean clothes, you were sure you had erased any scent of it off you. Of course, that wouldn’t be the only hurdle you would have to face to hide your little escapade from your family. 

First was Alice, you had to get around her. So, you met at La Push, where her gift couldn’t see on you on the Reservation. 

The second was Edward, you would need to keep your mind calm and quite, and not think about it. But actively trying not to think about it, made it harder.

You might be able to do this. You’ve hidden things from Edward before. You had many years of practice after all. 

But years of practice hadn’t helped you today. You had made it three feet in the house before you heard a loud groan of anguish from somewhere inside. Considering Edward could read minds in a couple miles radius, you were impressed you made it to the house first without him knowing, let alone inside. Even if it was three steps. 

The next second, Edward was in front of you, your older brother, staring down at you, a dismayed expression on his face. 

Why?”

His voice calm and even. Somehow that made it worse. Your face flushing red. “Butt out.”

Emmett strolled into the room, a light frown on his face, “Whats up>”

Edward looked at you, with a look that said: Should you tell him, or I?

Edward, I am nineteen years old, and I have a right as a goddamn human to make the choice I made. Are you really going to do this to me? Your fired back in your mind. Is this the impression you want to leave me with from Sex? Negative and unhealthy?

His ridged form tensed up, “Y/N, see things from my view -”

“No!” you interjected, “My decision, my right as a human, too. Remember that.” 

Walking around him, you made your way upstairs.

“I don’t get it,” Emmett said, looking between you two, “What happened?”

“Our dear little sister had sex, that’s what happened.”

It set off a domino effect. 

You whirled around, firing out vicious words. 

Emmett let out a loud, shocked ‘WHAT?!’, staring at you in confusion. 

(Really, they were going to blow it wide out of proportion.)

Alice and Rose appeared at the foot of the stairs, not mad, more amused. Honestly, they agreed with you. All the men in the house were going to take this too personally. 

Jasper looked like a hurt child, “Y/N, I thought we agreed the acceptable age would be a hundred, why …”

In the other room, Esme and Carlisle shared a look. Honestly, their children … ironically happened to act like your parents too, where being too harsh on you. 

They at least understood you were an adult to make this decision.

“Guys!” you screamed, “I will take you all out when I turn, so stop treating me like I am a child.”

“Who is it?” Emmett asked, “I want a name, phone number, home address. Does he have a job?”

“Emmett -”

“Answer the question Y/n.” Jasper and Edward said in union.

“Rosalie back me up, you say you want me to have normal human experiences!”

Rosalie turned on them, sudden filled with indignation, “She’s right. Leave her be. This isn’t any of your business anyway.”

Their eyes flickered between you and Rose and left, no doubt plotting a murder with the information Edward had gathered from your mind. 

Alice looked at you, “I’m impressed you got that around me.”

“We’ll, living with Vampires makes you more sneakier then the average person.”

Rosalie linked her arm through yours, going into best friend/ mother mode, “Let’s get away from listening ears and talk.”

You knew Rose, she would be open minded on it all, and it would be nice to talk to someone about it. Alice too.

“I concur. Let’s go.”

~Admin Bree

anonymous asked:

I just finished LOT season 1 and rewatched season 1 of the flash and something really bothered me - Mick Rory. In the flash we see him as someone who is able to lear how his gun works and able to work out the plans etc. Len is the mastermind ofc but Mic wasn't just the muscles. And we had Mick Rory at the begining of LOT aka IQ of meat. The difference really bothered me and only after the chronos deal we see him back to "inntelect levels" like in the Flash. Do you have thoughts on that?

I actually don’t think Mick’s IQ appears to dip at the start of Legends, to be honest. Second episode, with Len and Ray breaking into Savage’s house, he’s there berating Ray alongside Len and also completing Len’s sentences, going to fix the situation before Savage gets a hold of him. He’s shown right off the bat to be competent and underestimated. 

Originally posted by knightlley

Which is what it is, in my opinion. He’s constantly underestimated by the team, and with them constantly calling him and idiot or acting like he’s the slow one, the audience starts to believe it, when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. He might not be a scientific genius like some of the team, but he’s probably the most competent in terms of base skills and also easily the most practical. He has multiple types of intelligence that are underrepresented on the team because of how different he is than most of them, but it’s seldom appreciated or pointed out in canon.

Originally posted by ittybittymattycommittee

Another pre-Kronos example? How he knows what Druce is up to and warns Rip that Druce is going to kill him. Interpersonal intelligence, down to earth, great at reading a situation. Actually, he has some of the highest interpersonal understanding on the team. He always reads a situation and sums it up perfectly, often the first to recognize what’s going on, if he’s being insulted, if someone else is being threatened or insulted, how to get under people’s skin, etc. He doesn’t always do what you’d expected him to with the knowledge, but he sees it and understands him. I’d say he and Sara are pretty equal in this regard.

Originally posted by coldwavelegends

More examples of him being smart though? He always knows what Len is talking about and easily goes along with plans intuitively without much explanation. Reads between the lines immediately when Len wants to make an extra pit stop with the jump ship in episode 3. Follows orders to the t and keeps things moving on all of their early missions up to and including in Russia. Knows what to do with the pirates when they’re locked up in that cell and how to make a deal and sort out of the situation. He’s the only one who even thinks of making a deal with the pirates and knows how to do it.

And when he’s called out for not being “thick” by Rip early on? He immediately pretends to be dumb again. Yes, pretends. Because I’ve argued before that him being the ‘muscle’ to Len’s ‘brain’ is mostly just an act they fall in to, especially around others, and it works. They managed to stay one step ahead of most people around them at all times.

It’s also worth saying… the way Mick sees the world? Is a bit different than most people, I think. He sees it in very practical terms of what can be used and how, regardless of that was it’s intended function, or regardless of whether that was someone’s intended skill set. Think of the recent scenes with Martin where he asks Martin to fix his brain. Martin complains that he’s not that kind of doctor but Mick doesn’t care. I mean, he says “same thing” basically, but he understands that Martin isn’t a neuroscientists logically, he gets that Martin is a physicist. He just doesn’t care because it’s not relevant. 

Originally posted by lotsource

What is relevant is that Martin is smart enough and knows enough about what’s happening to him to help him with it, neurologically. So at that point in time, the distinction between PhD and MD doesn’t matter and he expresses that. Some people interpret that as him being less than intelligent, but I’d say it’s more accurate to read that as him just keeping different categories in his head than most of us are used to.

Finally, I don’t think we need to value a person based on their IQ or intellect, and I don’t think that a high IQ would ever be the best thing another person could have to offer a team already comprised of so many geniuses. But I also don’t think it’s necessarily accurate to say that Mick’s changed? He’s always been super competent, that’s always been underestimated by the team (and most people really), and he’s always been much sneakier than he’s given credit for :)

Originally posted by coldwavelegends


(Some other posts about this are here, here, here, and here, for curious minds).

Mini Winter Soldier (Bucky X Reader / Bucky X Reader’s daughter)

Title: Mini Winter Soldier ( Big Hero, Little Hero drabble series 2.0 ) 

Pairing: Bucky X Reader and Reader’s daughter

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Bucky seemed occupied about something and eventually realized he worried for nothing. And received the best presents he could get even though it wasn’t his birthday.

Previous parts: 1.0 My Little Hero 

Next parts: 3.0 Bucky’s Little Spy

MASTERLIST

Bucky has been acting strangely this past week. He seemed like he had something weighing on his mind all the time, brows scrunched up like he was deep in thought. It took (Y/N) not more than a day to notice something was off about the brooding man. 

After their encounter at the Smithsonian, Bucky and Poppy’s friendship has only become more tight-knit than before. Poppy now spent most of her time in the Stark tower beside when she was at pre-school. 

Bruce was like her own personal tutor and Uncle Tony even set up a nice corner, danger-free corner, of the lab as a study nook for the girl. Bucky has an honorary bean bag placed right next to Poppy’s tiny desk at the tower, where Bucky would read whilst she completed her coloring for the day. 

It was strange for Bucky to be occupied with what was on his mind when he was with (Y/N) or Poppy. (Y/N) couldn’t figure out what it was that troubled him. 

“Bucky?” (Y/N) called out. Seeing no response from the man before her, she light tapped him on his shoulder and called again. (Y/N)’s touch snapped Bucky out of his thoughts as he turned over and looked at her questioningly. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been out of it for the past week. What’s on your mind? Care to share?” (Y/N) questioned as she settled herself on the couch next to Bucky. 

At her question, Bucky flushed bright red, even the tips of his ears were pink. He stuttered for a bit, trying to fumble through his words as (Y/N) giggled lightly at him. 

“Well, I- You see, Poppy’s… Poppy’s birthday is this weekend. And, and I have no clue what to get her.” Bucky mumbled out softly, looking embarrassed. Hearing Bucky’s concern, (Y/N) couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of her. 

“You mean all this time, your furrowed brows, deep frowns, and zoning out was because you didn’t know what to get Poppy for her birthday?” (Y/N) asked, a glisten of tears on her eyes from laughing. (Y/N) didn’t think it was possible for Bucky to get any redder, but he proved her wrong as he huffed at her reaction. 

“I don’t know many 5-year-olds alright? I just want her birthday to be perfect.” Bucky grumbled out, tilting his face slightly to avoid showing (Y/N) how red his face got. 

(Y/N) face softened, a bright smile on her face as she saw how important Bucky saw her daughter. She leaned over and brushed a fallen lock of hair away from Bucky’s face as she turned him slightly to face her. 

“It so sweet that you care for Poppy so much, Bucky. I am so thankful you can’t even imagine it. Now, I know the perfect gift you could give her.” she said softly and showed Bucky something on her phone. 


The common room of the Stark tower was decorated with colorful balloons and a big banner with “Poppy’s 5th Birthday” strung across. Tony wanted to go the extra mile, a couple hundred extra miles, and get the area painted a glittery lilac, Poppy’s favourite colour, and order her an eight-tier chocolate cake, but was thankfully stopped by (Y/N), or the Avenger’s headquarters would be decked in a sparkly soft purple everywhere.

Pepper, though, was sneakier and ordered Poppy a brand new glittery lilac study table and chair for her little nook without letting (Y/N) know. Everyone was there for their little hero’s birthday party. 

By Poppy’s request, the party was to be a costume party and everyone had to be decked in some form of costume or another. (Y/N) was dressed up as Mulan, Poppy’s favorite Disney princess and Bucky dressed as Li Shang, Mulan’s prince, as instructed by Nat and Wanda. 

Bucky stood by (Y/N), his face now his signature crimson, as he tried to spot the birthday girl. A loud squeal and a girl wrapped around Bucky leg snapped him out of his search as he looked down and blinked a few times at the sight. 

He imagined Poppy would have picked a nice princess outfit, or be a strong female hero like Nat, or even dressed professionally to a T like Pepper. Never did he imagine her wearing what she was right now. 

Poppy untangled herself from Bucky’s leg and looked up with gleeful eyes as she said to him, “Bucky Bear! Do you like my outfit? I am dressed as my hero! I am dressed as you!”. 

She twirled around and showed him the metal arm that Bruce had designed for her with soft aluminum. Bucky’s eyes slowly filled with happy tears as he broke out into a huge grin. 

“I love it, Pop. I love it so much. You look amazing.” he replied as he lifted her in his arms and rubbed his scruff all over her face, causing her to giggle loudly. 


After having a blast at the party, Poppy is now knackered and sleeping in her room as Bucky and (Y/N) settled down on the common room couch. 

“Hey Bucks, have you seen what Poppy was carrying to bed?” (Y/N) asked, a sly smirk resting on her face. Bucky cocked his eyebrows and gave her a questioning look as she motioned for him to go take a look. 

Opening the door to her bedroom softly, through the small crack of the door, the light softly filled the bedroom. On the bed was Poppy, feet hanging out of her blanket, and in her arms, cuddled close to her, was the tiny Winter Soldier stuffed toy Bucky gave her for her birthday. 

He slowly closed the door and turned to look at (Y/N) as a silly grin hung on his lips. Pulling her lightly by her hand, he led her back to the common room and settled her next to him on the plush couch. 

“So, did you hear what Poppy asked for for her birthday?” Bucky asked, his voice deep. Hearing his question, (Y/N)’s face heated up as she looked away from him. 

“Hmm? So will you go for dinner with me? Tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at 7. What’d you say doll?” he probed again. 

(Y/N) stood up quickly and started to make her way to her room, but as she took two small steps, she lightly turned herself and said, “7 PM, don’t be late.”, leaving a happy Bucky behind. 


Tagging: @itsanerdlife @buckysmusculararm @klaus-is-king @callamint @dryerpet @katbird787 @musichowler @captainfbffangirl99 @thatawkwardtinyperson @cassandras-musings @cleverwatson125 @universal-glitch @draconicuchiha @frickin-bats @smile-sugar @ryverpenrad @buckyywiththegoodhair

Here’s a second drabble in continuation of “My Little Hero”. Thank you all for showing so much love for the previous part and I hope you all would enjoy this part as well! I tagged some people that showed interest but if anyone wants to be off the tagging list please feel free to message me!

For my other writings, search “Ting writes” on my Tumblr!”

anonymous asked:

Hello love, could you rec me your favourite 8th year fics on ao3?

Hello yourself! YES, I can absolutely do this and honestly I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. I am OBSESSED with 8th year fics and I hope I can recommend at least a few you haven’t read already! :)

*warning*: This is an Extremely Long List. It is in literally no order because I love all of these fics so much it is as if they are my own children and I couldn’t possibly rank them

Unexpected Consequences by Lauren3210 (39K)- Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn’t know why he expected anything different.
This is one of the first fics I ever read and I still remember it clearly; it was THAT good! As an alternative to Azkaban, Draco is allowed to attend Hogwarts provided he agrees to a bond with Harry that makes him to do whatever Harry says. Naturally, once the feelings start this causes a lot of worrying and angst and klsfhd it’s just really really good! Also did I mention they share a private room? I know I can’t be the only one who lives for that.

Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill (73K)- Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.
Another of the first ever fics I read (and reread!) and MAN IS IT FUCKING AMAZING. The lust starts right from the beginning and there are *lots* of party games and a secret relationship and sweet moments and teaching of patronus charms and *sigh* I just want to go read it again right now!

Lumos by birdsofshore (41.5K)- Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.
FABULOUS fic in which they are roommates and then Draco wanks and then Harry wanks and then Draco and Harry wank at the same time, and then there are feelings!! A thousand times yes.

Strange Bathfellows by Bixgirl1 (27.5K)- It started with a bath. Or a potions accident. Or maybe it started before that, but who can tell anymore.Featuring: Uncomfortable wanking, more comfortable wanking, mutual wanking, bath sharing, inappropriate betting, secret shagging, those secrets at Hogwarts that everyone knows, and oblivious Harry who knows one thing: he’s falling in love.
Harry and Draco being forced to share a bath is everything I never knew I needed until I was blessed enough to find this fic. @bixgirl1 has MANY truly ✨FABULOUS✨ eighth year fics (for example Instruction for a Misplaced Slytherin (8.5K) in which Draco teaches Harry about sex and In Evidence of Magical Theory (43.5K), which features forced bonding) and you should definitely read them all, but Strange Bathfellows remains my favorite! :)

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1. Roses // Nurseydex

{Part 1 of my Valentine’s collection.} »


“Oh. Uh. Hey, Holster,” Nursey said when he opened the door to his dorm room. He didn’t look nearly as sick as Holster expected him to. He was dressed, wearing black jeans and a clean pressed navy blue Henley. For someone who said they’d be skipping dryland training because of a “savage fever, man,” Nursey looked pretty good.

“Hey bro,” Holster said. “You’re looking better. All that rest must be working.”

“Oh. Hah. Yeah,” Nursey said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Rest. Yep. Uh, you wanna come in?”

“Sure,” said Holster. He stepped inside and Nursey closed the door behind him. “You’re all dressed up. You don’t have plans, do you?”

Nursey gave him a weird wide-eyed look. “Nope, no, uh, no plans for me.”

“Well, Rans and I just wanted to check up on you and Dex before training since you two are sick…” Holster said. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting… weird.”

“It’s probably just the fever meds,” Nursey said quickly. “I’m fine. It’s chill.”

Okay. That wasn’t suspicious at all.

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anonymous asked:

One time my math teacher split us up into groups & let us choose group names—always a bad idea—but she threatened "if i find out it's anything dirty, you'll be in huge trouble!!" So this absolute genius lad in my group goes "let's be Toes In The Sand…" & i was like "why?" & he just goes "its an acronym for TITS." I fuckign lost it when the teacher didn't catch on and let that be our group name…& said "oh what a lovely visual, toes in the sand"… i almost ruined it, but she never figured it out!

If a teacher outlaws dirty jokes there will still be dirty jokes. Just sneakier.

bizukkos  asked:

*whispers* shallura and klance because they own my sorry life

ask and you shall receive!

♡ send me a ship and i’ll tell you

Shallura

  • Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: 
    • Allura would. No one told her Earth doors would be so complicated.
  • Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: 
    • I wanna say both, but my heart is telling me Shiro pines like a schoolgirl when he’s legitimately in love, so he would. In his notebooks, on his desk, in the dirt, everywhere. Especially after actually getting together with her - he’d do this to show his love for her every chance he gets.
  • Who starts the tickle fights: 
    • ALLURA. Sometimes when Shiro is really in the dumps or just tired tickle fights are sometimes the only thing to put a smile on his face. Shiro actually loves the feeling of getting tickled so he loves it. He also loves engaging first and tickling Allura.
  • Who starts the pillow fights: 
    • Absolutely Allura. Lance introduced her to some Earth customs and she fell in love with pillow fights. She loves to start them with everyone, not just Shiro, but especially enjoys sneaking up on Shiro when he doesn’t expect it. It gives them a chance to let out their inner child and just act like there’s nothing wrong in the world, like they’re not fighting a war. It’s small moments like these they really cherish.
  • Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile:
    • Shiro. 100% Shiro. Allura is quick to go to sleep and every time Shiro sees her sleeping face he falls in love all over again. He finds her presence next to him very comforting so when she’s finally asleep he feels safe and content enough to fall asleep himself, all while wrapping his arms around her and whispering “I love you” as a “goodnight.”
  • Who mistakes salt for sugar:
    • ALLURA. “Who let these two completely different seasonings look exactly the same?”
  • Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning:
    • I’d feel like neither would lmao? Maybe Shiro?
  • Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines:
    • OK SO Allura comes up with the cheesy, almost terrible pick up lines that borderline puns while Shiro comes up with those sappy, cliche pickup lines that actually sweep Allura off her feet and she’s a bit miffed that her pickup lines can’t work that way on him. “Better luck next time, Princess.”
  • Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order:
    • Allura. She’d be the person to rearrange books every few weeks depending if she wants them organized alphabetically, by color, by size, by series, by author, etc.
  • Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies:
    • Shiro is 100% guilty of this. Allura never finds out.
  • Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion:
    • SHIRO he loves doing this because every time with her should be something to remember.
  • Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen:
    • ALLURA she’s not an artist, but Shiro sports his girlfriend’s doodles with pride.
  • Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation:
    • I feel like Allura would! She was a diplomat, so she travels a lot, and would most definitely bring back things not just for Shiro, but for the other Paladins and Coran as well!
  • Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines:
    • Allura is quite fascinated with Earth customs and would actually find those surveys really fun to do.

Klance

  • Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa:
    • Honestly? Both. Both of them are victims of this. Neither of them are without blame.
  • Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them:
    • KEITH KEITH KEITH we already established that Keith Kogane invented pining, of course he’d be the one to do this.
  • Who starts the tickle fights:
    • Lance oh god Keith actually hates being sneaked up on and he’s extremely ticklish so Lance loves to exploit this.
  • Who starts the pillow fights:
    • STILL LANCE he’s absolutely savage and even against his boyfriend he shows no mercy. He will start the fight and dammit he will win.
  • Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile:
    • Keith would! He, like his big bro Shiro, happens to have a hard time sleeping at night, but seeing Lance’s peaceful sleeping face makes him that much more relaxed. He likes to trace his hands down Lance’s shoulder and sides too.
  • Who mistakes salt for sugar:
    • Keith but honestly only because Lance is the one to switch out the ingredients. 
  • Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning:
    • Lance. No question about it, it’s Lance. He’d heat anything up from popcorn to leftovers to hot pockets when he’s hungry he’s hungry and everyone being asleep isn’t going to stop him.
  • Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines:
    • KEITH. He’s never been that good with pick up lines or flirting so he probably got advice from Allura and started saying dumb shit like “hey you know what kind of alien i am for you? a gaylra” and Lance honestly can’t even find it endearing it’s too funny but he loves and appreciates Keith and his attempts anyway. But, please, “leave the flirting to me.”
  • Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order:
    • I don’t think either would really care.
  • Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies:
    • LANCE. Keith gets annoyed because “Dammit stop eating all the batter, Lance!”
  • Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion:
    • Lance! He likes to have some on hand anyway just in case he wants to make things extra important and romantic.
  • Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen:
    • I think both would! But Lance would be a bit sneakier about it, doodling sappier things than Keith. Keith would go for rather generic things and Lance may enjoy going a bit more into detail, or writing funny things on Keith and saying that he wrote something else until Pidge or Hunk see the back of his neck and tell him Lance wrote “I may have the dumbest mullet but I’ve got the best boyfriend.”
  • Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation:
    • Lance! We’ve already established that Lance has homesickness, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t genuinely enjoy traveling the universe and seeing new things. I like to think he’s kind of like Wally in YJ, where he takes a little souvenir for each planet they’ve been on, each mission they’ve completed, etc. in hopes that someday he can show it to his family on Earth.
  • Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines:
    • Keith, actually! Lance finds them entertaining, but rather pointless. Keith did at first too, but actually found them to be kind of fun, even if they both know they’re really dumb. They do it to make fun of the magazine.
jamie benn // caught

warnings: none

who: jamie benn x reader

premise: you and Jamie attempt to keep your relationship hidden from your roommate and best friend, Tyler Seguin, but, as you might expect, your plan falls short

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You and Jamie tried to keep your relationship a secret. You really, really did. You didn’t make eye contact or let your touches linger too long. You never said anything that suggested more or smiled at each other just because. It was as if your relationship didn’t exist outside the confines of the two of you.

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The One With A Distraction

Pairing: Alec Lightwood x Reader

Summary: While Magnus and Jace summon Azazel, Alec goes after you, another Greater Demon working with Azazel, only to find out you’re incredibly charming - and a great distraction. 

A/N: it’s been a while since i did an alec imagine so here you go!

MASTERLIST (mobile and desktop)
(you can like it and save it for later!)


After the attack on the Institute, everyone was still in mourning. The down worlders had lost many loved ones and the Shadowhunters, though fewer, were still enraged and seeking revenge. Knowing Valentine, the cause of their misery, was chained up in the basement waiting to be slaughtered was just a huge temptation.

“Let them maul him to pieces,” Alec shrugs, “I couldn’t care less. In any case, I’m not going to be part of some stupid protection detail for a mass murderer. Not when my sister is missing and all our resources should be put toward finding her.”

“We need Valentine to find the Mortal Cup,” Clary points out.

Alec sighs in defeat, “Well, we can’t just sit here doing nothing.”

“Magnus and Jace are working on summoning Azazel. They think they might be able to convince him to trade Valentine for Izzy,” Clary informs him.

“And what about the other Greater Demon? That girl that was with Azazel?”

“Her name’s y/n. She’s not in the system. Magnus has no idea who she is either,” Clary informs him, “We only found her name out through facial recognition. She was in a picture a long time ago - I mean like centuries ago.”

“From the footage it seems like she’s more powerful than Azazel and yet there’s no record of her?” Alec asks frustrated.

Clary sighs in defeat, leaning over her desk and clicking the monitor a few times until she can zoom in on your face to get a better look, “She looks our age from this footage. How can she be centuries old?”

Alec shrugs, “Maybe one of her abilities. Look, I can’t just sit around here. I’ll be back if you guys figure a way out to summon Azazel but in the meantime I’m going to find this girl – maybe I can appeal to her sensitive side.”

“Do demons have sensitive sides?” Clary scoffs.

Alec’s eyes linger on the image of you, “Let’s hope this one does.”


“You know, you’re going to have to be sneakier than that to get the jump on a Greater Demon,” you say, smirking as you turn to find Alec Lightwood behind you, his bow and arrow drawn. You could’ve killed him in a heartbeat with no witnesses, but instead you cross your arms over your chest and lean against the wall of the alleyway, watching him curiously.

“Where’s my sister?” he asks firmly, his jaw tense.

“Isabelle Lightwood?” you raise a brow, “Why would I have her?”

“I saw the footage from the alleyway. Azazel grabbed Izzy and you-“

“Stopped him,” you cut him off, “We don’t have her.”

“Why should I believe you?” he leers.

You stand up straight, walking over to him. His grip on the bow tightens as you come to a stop and he shifts it so the tip of the arrow is angled to hit you right between the eyes.

Before you get a word out he releases it. Little does he expect you to catch the arrow an inch from your face.

You drop it to the floor, “You can’t kill me,” you tell him, “As for believing me – I don’t really care whether you do or not. Our business is with the Mortal Cup, not you Shadowhunters.”

Alec lowers his bow, dropping it to his side, “Look, if you have my sister-“

“I don’t,” you reassure him, “I could find her quite easily though.”

Alec rolls his eyes, “Like a Greater Demon does anything for free.”

You bite down on your lip and shrug, “I’m no ordinary Greater Demon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alec frowns.

“It means we can stand here and you can try to kill me repeatedly or we can go find your sister. Free of cost, I promise,” you wink.

Alec knew it was stupid to trust you but something about the way you spoke and the way you looked at him made him feel like he could. In any case, it was better than sitting around waiting for news.

And if things did go south he was sure he could take you. Probably.

“Alright, where is she then?”

“It’s not that easy, Lightwood,” you scoff.

Alec narrows his eyes, “If you aren’t interested in Shadowhunters then how do you know my name? And my sisters?”

“It’s my job to know the Lightwood’s,” you say pointedly, “Your mother heads the Idris Institute and while I was in town she put a massive target on my back.”

“That’s impossible. You weren’t even in our system, she couldn’t have known about you,” Alec says, walking alongside you.

“She didn’t need to. She found out one of her trusted recruits was in love with a Greater Demon and she wanted me hunted down,” you sigh, “We had to go on the run.” Suddenly your voice is strained.

“Wait, you’re dating a Shadowhunter?” he asks in disbelief.

“I was, it was years ago. He died… protecting me from your mother. After that she had to call it off so no one would find out this all happened on her orders – that she’d pretty much killed him.”

Alec’s eyes widen in alarm as he watches your face fill with disdain.

“Well, then, you have a reason to want to hurt our family,” he says slowly.

You roll your eyes, “Really? That’s what you got out of that. Geez, you really are a Lightwood,” you sigh, “Unlike your mother, I take no pleasure in seeing people hurt.”

“In the alleyway you killed at least a dozen vampires just by raising your hand,” he retorts.

“Vampires that were about to kill your sister,” you shoot back, “Look, do you want my help or not?” you snap.

“Yes,” Alec grumbles in response.

“Then shut up a follow me.”


You knew enough about Alec Lightwood to know he wouldn’t ever completely trust you. To be honest, you were surprised he was following you around at all – his sister clearly meant a lot to him. You knew she was safe. You’d waited around to see her disappear with another Shadowhunter but you couldn’t tell him that. As the two of you were walking around, Magnus was summoning Azazel and you needed to keep Alec distracted.

“We’ve been walking around for hours,” Alec groans, “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

You give him a pointed look.

“Well,” he throws his arms up in the air, “How am I supposed to know? You’re vague and mysterious and I have no idea who you are. You seem to know everything about me and all I know is that you have a dead boyfriend.”

You stiffen at his words and his eyes soften.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

He inhales sharply, gathering his courage to ask a question he’d thought about at least a dozen times after you’d told him that story, “How did you get a Shadowhunter to fall in love with you?”

When you don’t answer, he stops walking.

“We’re raised to hunt demons. We’re taught they’re all evil… but you,” he trails off, “You’re different.”

“When you’ve been around as long as I have, you don’t let yourself get caught up in Shadowhunter-Demon-Mundane wars. Greater Demons are capable of much more than regular demons.”

“I know that,” he nods, “I just didn’t know you were capable of love.”

“Neither did I,” you say softly, “Until I met him.”

Alec nods quietly. He knew there was probably things you had done that were unforgiveable – there was no such thing as an innocent demon. But everyone was guilty of something, even Shadowhunters and for the first time, he felt sympathy for you. And he felt slightly enraged at his mother for causing you so much pain, and worse, covering it up.

Before he can express his condolences, his phone rings.

“Take it,” you nod despite knowing what would happen next. After a few seconds, Alec hangs up and glares at you.

“You were just a distraction,” he growls, drawing his bow again. You place a hand over it and push it down.

“My sister could be dead right now and I’ve been here messing around with you instead of finding her!” he yells angrily.

“Your sister is fine,” you reassure him, “I saw her leave with another Shadowhunter.”

Alec sighs in relief, running his fingers through his hair, “Why didn’t you tell me that?! Why make me walk around for hours like an idiot?!”

“Was it so wrong to want to get to know the son of the woman who killed the boy I loved?”

Alec slumps slightly, “And? What did you gather from these few hours?”

He asks with a tone of sarcasm but he was scared to know the answer; he was scared you’d think he was exactly like his parents.

“You’re different,” you finally say, “You’re actually remind me of him. A lot. It’s been a while since I’ve spent time with a Shadowhunter who wasn’t trying to kill me.”

You tilt your head, eyeing his hand on the arrow, “You’re not going to try kill me are you?”

“No,” he chuckles.

“Wow, a smile,” you laugh, “Haven’t seen one of those all night.”

He looks at the floor, shaking his head with a wide smile, “I’ll talk to my mother, make sure that target stays off your back.”

You nod in appreciation, taking a few steps back, about to head off.

“And when I do,” he says quickly, causing you to stop in your tracks, “Maybe I’ll see you again?”

Maybe, Lightwood,” you smirk, “I hear you guys can pull off one hell of a summoning spell.”

anonymous asked:

I'm an Aquarius and my teacher is a cancer. She constantly tries to call me out for being on my phone or just anything in general when other kids like across or next to me are doing the same thing, is this normal???

Eh
I’d just get sneakier

Threshold magic 101

Doorways are one of the first concepts we learn as we begin to explore our surroundings as infants. In those early memories doorways are magical passages dividing entire worlds in our perceptions. We pass through into new places with entirely different obstacles and experiences to encounter.

As we age, we grow more accustomed to the idea of different rooms and separations of space. Even without a proper door separating them we define spaces by their function and even without a physical barrier between them we acknowledge them as separate and distinct. For an example, consider the layout of a studio apartment, the kitchen, dining room and living room are, functionally one room, and yet people gather in distinct groups in each section of the space, separating themselves into “rooms” with no actual barriers except those imagined by those present.

The Romans had a god, Janus, whose entire domain was doorways, the transition between spaces and spans of time. The first month of the year was named for him as it was the transition between years.

The most instinctive spatial transition is that between one’s home and the outside world. The territorial sanctity of home is a spiritually powerful concept. it protects us just as our homes do. The most direct manifestation of this power is the phenomena of thresholds.

Mythology is filled with creatures which cannot enter a person’s home without their express permission and invitation. From vampires, to demons, to fairies, everything needs permission from the homeowner to enter. in a more modern context, many practitioners report feeling weaker if they enter someone else’s home uninvited.

This is a threshold, a spiritual barrier between us and the outside world. Those who cross it uninvited leave a great deal of their power behind them, so much so that some creatures cannot survive the experience.

While thresholds fall under what would normally be considered “passive” of “innate” magic, there are ways to consciously strengthen, build off, or direct the energy of your threshold to better protect you and your family.

Strengthening:

A threshold can be strengthened in a number of ways. The simplest way is to enhance your sense of home, filling your home with things which are uniquely yours, which hold sentiment or meaning for you personally, and spending time getting your home comfortable and familiar will build up your threshold over time.

Another method is through active warding. Wreaths were an early form of warding charm hung in doorways to drive off evil and malicious spirits. Honeysuckle, St. John’s wart, Rowan, oak, Birch, and Yarrow hung above, in, or beside the doorway will add energies of purification and protection. an Iron nail driven into the door frame combines the warding power of iron, and the tranquil aspects of the rune Isa, which the nail resembles. Daggaz and ing, either painted, scratched or inscribed in a doorway bring luck and safety to those within.

Some witches like to seal their homes by painting pentacles above the major openings, including doors and windows, using either actual paint, or some variety of holy water/oil, or putting lines of salt or blessed sand along the doorways and window sills. This method has the disadvantage of being easily physically disrupted, although some industrious witches have been known to protect such lines by placing them under the metal strips which smooth the transition between the door frame and the floor.

Another method is to hang amulets in the door frame bearing symbols for protection. These can be as simple as a painted piece of paper, or as elaborate as a cast silver charm.  Another example is Amish Hex signs. A six petaled flower or 6 pointed star, represents preservation and continuity for the home, a rooster represents a watchful guardian, and a jagged circle represents the power of thurisaz to drive away evil and disruptive energies.

Building upon:

A threshold is a solid foundation for any magic which is intended to effect the home, or everyone who enters the home.  Such spells work based on the principal of the threshold as not being just a barrier, but a portal which must be passed through.

One use for magic of this kind is to ward against a particular person or type of entity. to do this it is useful to use materials and objects known to be harmful or hateful to that entity. (garlic for vampires, iron for fairies, things the person is allergic to, audio tape containing music they hate, etc.) As was mentioned before, placing these things in, on, or near the doorway is an effective method, but this may not always be convenient or practical. In this case, using them in a ritual to charge another object, such as a stone a piece of wood, or an ornament which can be attached less obtrusively is perfectly acceptable.

Another use is to place spells upon those who come and go through the door. Spells to encourage health, prosperity, peacefulness and joy are common choices. for these uses it’s best to use an object or material which is associated with your desired outcome, and place it in or above the door frame. Traditionally horseshoes were hung in this way to pour luck on those who entered. This is another situation where amulets hung in doorway can be useful, particularly if people are willing to touch or handle the objects as they come through.

A slightly sneakier method might be to paint or inscribe a spell into the door handle, so that a person HAS to handle it to enter, or building your spell to be charged and renewed by the act of using the knocker or doorbell, if it’s intended to drive off unwanted guests, or help visitors.

Directing the threshold:

The threshold, like any other magic, can be channeled and directed. The most common use would be directing the threshold’s protections to include or exclude a particular person, either helping guests feel comfortable and “at home” or making a resident feel unwelcome and vulnerable in their own home. This is most easily done by the homeowner, or head of household, The person with the most authority within the home, and is typically linked to their will, though an explicit statement of intent from this person goes a long way.

Another means of warping the threshold is to have objects or tokens which can be carried outside, bringing a bit of home with you, and therefore bringing a bit of the protection of home as well. This can be tricky, usually requiring some degree of sympathetic magic and thaumaturgy (ie. the use of a small part of a thing to represent the entire thing such as using a chip from the fireplace bricks to represent the hearth, or a shaving of wood from a doorframe to represent the door itself,) typically these tokens are either single use, or must be maintained by restoring them as part of the home upon the person’s return. Removable tiles from a floor mosaic, or a distinctive knob from the cabinets work well for this purpose, as they are small, unique, and easily reattached.