A/N:junemermaid03,I read “Moments”—and it broke me so much that I had to do my own take on it because I felt so undone and just so “kilig” all at once. You’re an amazing writer, and every word you wrote was fitting for Elsa and Tadashi’s character with a little bit of spunk and playfulness. I know most of our oneshots are Elsashi-centric (Elshi/Elsashi…I think I like Elsashi better now because Elshi seems short. But both are fine :)), but upon reading snippets of Anna/Elsa in your story, I felt the need to somehow expand it. I hope you enjoy this one. Its all a mixture of Elsa/Anna/Tadashi.
UGH, you make writing fluff so easy. You and couragedontdesertme are so good! Again, sorry for any errors/typos here. I had to rush through it because it’s literally 6AM. I hope it’s decent, though!
Okay, background music/inspiration for this one was: Say Anything by Anderson East
***** “Elsa, Mama and Papa are gone—please come home. I need you—why aren’t you picking up my calls?”
“Elsa, are you okay? I love you. Please call me back. I don’t know what to do. Please talk to me. Please? I miss you so much and—I’m so sorry. I just can’t—stop crying. Please come back—please—”
“Elsa—I buried Mama and Papa today. People are asking where you are. I know you talked to Kai, and I’m glad you’re safe but please—please call me or just text. Anything. Can we please talk? Even for just a second? I just need to hear your voice. Please?”
“Elsa, what happened? What happened to us? We were best friends—Do you hate me? Please tell me what I did and I won’t do it again. I love you. No matter what.”
“Elsa, I know you’re there. Please pick up. We only have each other—it’s just you and me now—please come back to Norway…even for just a few hours. A few minutes. Please…”
“Elsa, I don’t know what to say anymore—all I know is I love you and I’ll never give up on you.”
Her ear was numb from listening to Anna’s voicemails repeatedly the previous night, specifically rewinding the ones where Anna said, “I love you.” It was one of those nights. She had memorized each word and broke a little bit more upon hearing her sister’s soft and helpless whimpers. The little machine seared and clawed at her palm as gleaming blue eyes stared at it wearily, itching and longing to dial the numbers she knew by heart. Elsa had a death grip on her iPhone 6, her thumbs hovering over the screen while her mind raced with a million thoughts per second with vivid images of a redheaded girl with a freckled face disorienting her already mangled brain.
Will she even pick up? What if she hates me? I mean…I hate me, too.
It has been three months since their parents’ demise, and Elsa was still void of courage and strength to reach out to her sister whom she has left alone to grieve by herself back in Norway. Eighty-seven missed calls, thirty voice messages, and sixty-five text messages did not dissuade the stoic elder sister to come out from hiding. But Anna was persistent; she even sent snail mails to catch her sister’s attention, yet Elsa still remained mum and unresponsive. Three months into her first semester in San Fransokyo, the reserved blonde had failed to make friends and focused all her attention and energy exclusively to schoolwork, running, and her robotics experiments.
She had failed her sister, and didn’t find much solace and incentive to start relationships in a new place when she had abandoned the one person that meant the world to her.
No one had bothered to approach the foreign and intimidatingly smart and attractive Norwegian transfer student except for a sprightly and laid back Robotics Engineering student named Tadashi Hamada, who was paired up with her for a coding project. It was Hamada who took interest in Elsa’s skills and begged Callaghan to set them up as lab partners. Though fretful and hesitant, she could not refuse the offer to work with Callaghan’s right hand and favorite student. Hamada was under Callaghan’s wing and was knowledgeable in deciphering new coding techniques; one of the main reasons why Elsa chose San Franksokyo Institute of Technology—aside from the fact that she was only staying away from Anna to ensure her sister’s safety.
It has been three months and a half, and no one in San Fransokyo knew of what happened to Elsa. Not even Tadashi, the closest thing that she had to a friend.
“You know, I really think you should go call him,” Tadashi’s voice broke through Elsa’s frantic thoughts, jostling her back to reality, his back facing her as he fiddled with Project Baymax’ helmet with a screw driver.
Elsa loosened her grip from her phone and shot Tadashi a curious look, his white shirt drenched with perspiration and glued to his ample back, revealing a ripped and physically fit interior that distracted her for a split second. She swallowed hard and clenched her jaw.
You can stop staring now. The blonde silently rebuked herself and diverted her focus back to what he just said.
“Him? Who are you talking about?”
Tadashi paused. “You know, your boyfriend. I notice you’re always staring at your phone like you’re scared to call him. That’s the look of missing someone. I’m sure whatever it is that you’re fighting about, it’s gonna be okay.” His tone was gentle and comforting, hoping Elsa would not take it the wrong way as he dared to skate on thin ice by threading to uncharted territory unannounced. He knew of Elsa’s reluctance to be involved in intimate and heartfelt conversations—or conversations in general—and he immediately regretted his words as they slipped out of his mouth. Tadashi held his breath, pretending to be unenthused and casual while he screwed the corner of Baymax’ head with a dexterous hand.
I mean, is she even single? She can’t be. She’s so gorgeous. Pfft. Way to go, Hamada. You’re prying again.
Excruciatingly long seconds had gone by before Elsa responded to Tadashi’s well-meaning and random statement. She took a breath before gently placing the phone next to her, straightening her back as she hopped off the table from where she was sitting. The sound of floorboards creaking against her running sneakers reverberated through the lab as she made her way to Tadashi’s workstation.
Bright brown eyes met exhausted blues. Tadashi tilted his head and regarded the girl in front of him, growing concerned by how tightly her arms were wrapped around herself. But a shy lop-sided grin rose from the corner of her lips, the dark circles under her eyes visible against the beaming light above them.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Elsa said quietly, a distant look clouding her eyes. For some reason, Tadashi felt relieved, the pounding muscle on the left side of his body leapt with unknown joy. A smile was about to split his cheeks apart when he saw a tear trickle down Elsa’s pale cheek, which she demurely wiped away with a finger.
Tadashi’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It dawned on him that he knew nothing about Elsa at all, minus the known fact that she was a pedantic and meticulous student who buried herself in schoolwork day in and day out. He had tried to break through those barriers, inviting her to eat with his friends and attempting to have her engage in random conversations with him about anything else rather than their robotics project. But Elsa was rigid, always ready to refuse; colloquial and overly polite to the point of utter disconnect.
To see Elsa like this was something Tadashi was not prepared for: her naturally well-postured form replaced by a hunched and heavy-laden back, her poised and regal disposition slowly crumbling in front of him.
“It’s my sister. We haven’t talked in a while.” The word ‘sister’ caused a cascade of guilt and melancholy to drench her from within, soaking and drowning her with sorrow that her body cannot contain and conceal any longer. Her nose had started to sting, her throat drying and aching once again. “I’ve been wanting to call her, but I don’t think she’d want to talk to me.” Though her voice was calm and even, Tadashi did not miss the slight hitch that he could only imagine as a splinter poking her heart. He did not like seeing Elsa like this. But instead of going to the opposite side of the table to embrace his friend, something that he wanted to do so desperately, he dug his heels into the ground and allowed the space between them to linger.
“Elsa, I don’t know much about your sister, but I can sense that you two are very close,” Tadashi started. “My brother Hiro and I have our misunderstandings, but we always find ways to fix it.” He said encouragingly, feeling something within him sting at the sight of Elsa.
Elsa shook her head dejectedly, tears threatening to escape her lashes. “But you don’t know what happened, Tadashi. You don’t know what I did.”
“I don’t. But I know your sister loves you very much.”
The blonde turned her back against him, only to be greeted by a closed door looming in front of her. She hated doors. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she waved a dismissive hand, high enough for Tadashi to see. “I’m going back to my apartment, you should go to back to work. I’m sorry for—“
“Elsa, your sister misses you. You should go give her a call.”
She chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I highly doubt that. After everything that happened, I’m sure she’ll never forgive me.”
“For someone so unforgiving, she sure makes a lot of effort to deliver her letters in person,” he challenged, unwilling to let her off the hook. Elsa’s heart skipped a beat as she whipped her body around to face him.
“What do you mean in person?”
Tadashi’s eyes flitted back and forth between her eyes and the distracting array of freckles on her nose before smirking. “Your sister’s name’s Anna, right? Redhead, green eyes, freckles, awfully nice and friendly?” He inquired mirthfully, slightly pleased to see Elsa’s expression switching from crestfallen to complete shock.
“What? And you didn’t tell me?” she asked with a shrill in her voice. “Anna was here?!”
Tadashi sauntered towards her, the playful smile on his face replaced by a placid look. “She didn’t want you to know. She was afraid you didn’t want to see her.” Elsa’s heart broke upon hearing those words, but she let Tadashi continue. “We met once in Callaghan’s office lobby while she was waiting for him. I happened to be there, waiting for him, too. We talked for a bit, and she mentioned your name and I told her I knew you. She just wanted to know if you were doing okay. She didn’t really tell me what was going on between you two, but she asked me to deliver her letters to you.”
Elsa swallowed hard, unable to fully register what Tadashi was saying. “So you were the one putting her letters in my mailbox?”
“How is she? Is she okay? Is she safe?” A thousand questions flashed through her mind, questions that she had asked herself every minute since the day she left Norway. Questions that haunted her at night; in her dreams and in her worst nightmares. Is she eating well? Is she doing well in her studies? Is she still learning how to sword fight? Is Kristoff treating her well? Did she finally finish that painting of Joan? Is she wearing a jacket when she’s up and about? It’s getting cold back home…did she get a flu shot yet? Is she sleeping well?
Will she ever forgive me?
Before she knew it, Tadashi had her collected in his arms, determined to hold her in one piece. A turbulent tide of sadness overwhelmed Elsa as she scrunched up her face, swallowing back tears of grief and regret that she has been bottling up in so long. God, she was exhausted. Her lips trembled and her knees wobbled, but Tadashi was intrepid. He kept her safe in the warmth of his embrace, dauntless and willing to feel the repercussions of the catastrophe going on within her while she shook and wailed against his body.
“She’s okay,” he whispered against her ear, the mesmerizing scent of her shampoo temporarily numbing his senses. “She loves you, Elsa. So much. You have no idea.” When those words were spoken, Elsa wrapped her arms around Tadashi’s waist, whimpering like a wounded animal seeking for healing and redemption.
“I love her so much, too. So, so, so much,” Elsa muttered under her breath, nasally and marred by despair. He held her closer, their bodies synchronizing perfectly against each other like a crucial piece completing an undone mystery of a puzzle.
Tadashi loved her right there and then.
He looked sideways and caught a glimpse of his unfinished robot, feeling determined more than ever to complete its structure and function.
Baymax, from now on, you and I will make sure Elsa’s always taken care of. Okay, buddy?
***** She took in a sharp intake of breath before unlocking her phone, the gadget prompting her to type in her password. A delicate finger tapped the digits on the touch screen, the only code that she has ever used for all of her accounts.
She pressed the name from which her password was derived from and hit “Dial.” Elsa’s heart throbbed furiously against her chest, anticipation twisting her stomach into a tight knot upon hearing Anna’s phone ringing against her ear. She had practiced her speech, what she wanted to say. Hell, she even wrote them down. Tadashi helped her verbalize her thoughts into paper and—
“Elsa, is that you?” Anna’s hopeful yet hesitant voice permeated through the opposite end of the line, catching Elsa off guard. She didn’t expect her to pick up on the first ring. In fact, she didn’t expect her to pick up at all. She was prepared to be greeted by Anna’s voicemail, prepared to recite her outstanding speech. Prepared to be rejected and ignored.
Elsa clamped her mouth shut with the palm of her hand, suppressing the whimper that was about to escape her lips. Bleary eyes dimmed with longing as she scrambled for words, suddenly forgetting how to speak.
“Anna, I am so sorry,” she started, her voice trembling and betraying her. “I know I should have been there, I know I’m a terrible sister and I don’t deserve your forgiveness—“
“Elsa, there’s nothing to forgive. And you’re not terrible,” Anna cut her off gently, her tone unwavering and filled with conviction. “I love you.”
And for the first time in forever, Elsa said the words that she longed to say for months—years. Words that were whispered in the dark of the night against her tear-stained pillow. Words that continued to give meaning to her wayward life. Words that kept her going. Words so true and so real, it dug through the deepest corners of her heart.