snarky banters!

My favorite banter
  • Cole: He almost says the word sometimes. Katoh. He tastes it in his mouth, sweet release a breath away, tongue tying it tenderly like you tie him. But he doesn’t. For you, and for him because it makes it mean more. A fuller feeling, a brighter burst.
  • Iron Bull: Yeah. (Coughs.) How’s he feel about you saying this in front of everybody?
  • Inquisitor: If a rift opened up right now and swallowed me I’d be fine with that.
  • Solas (if in party): Provided it tied you down first one assumed.

Like oh my god. Solas is so snarky sometimes it’s unbelievable. 

Lipstick stains

Summary: She and Tom don’t exactly get along, but really, everyone knows they just need to bang.

Pairings: Reader (?) x Tom Holland

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: Some swearing and some smut

A/n: I’m sorry this is so shitty :/ but let me know what ya think anyways :)))


“Nice ass.”

“And this is as close as you’ll get to it.”

“Wouldn’t want it anyway.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

It was a good feeling when she got the last word in. It meant she won that round, and boy, there were many rounds of snarky banter. Neither she nor Tom were overly fond of each other and did what they could to avoid any situation involving the other. However, when your best friends are dating, it’s inevitable. Kat and Haz, what a cute couple. She and Tom, no way in hell. Or at least, that’s what they said every time somebody suggested they ‘just make out already’. See, the thing with those two is that they had undeniable chemistry; the room was thick with sexual tension whenever they were together. It was apparent to everyone but them.

They were currently at the boys’ shared apartment. When Haz had asked the both of them to help him prepare for tonight, they had begrudgingly agreed. It was Kat’s birthday, and being a good boyfriend, he was throwing her a surprise party. As much as they disliked each other, she and Tom loved their friends.  

Haz had put them in charge of decorations, so here she was, standing on a wooden stool in the living room, Tom on the ground behind her. She was on her toes, trying to tape streamers to the ceiling. Due to the height difference, he had a perfect view of her ass. She was annoying, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hot – not that he’d ever admit that out loud.  

Suddenly she wobbled a little, and as if on instinct, he immediately reached out. He grabbed her waist, steadying her.

“Hands off, Holland,” she said sternly, not even looking at him.

“Geez, I was just trying to help,” he removed his hands, holding them up defensively.

“My knight in shining armour,” her words dripped with sarcasm.

He rolled his eyes at her.

Having finally taped that section, she asked Tom for another piece. The small seat she was standing on didn’t allow room for much movement. As she turned to take it from him, she lost her balance. With a yelp, she fell forward – right on top of Tom. They crashed to the floor in a loud heap.

They both groaned; him underneath her, she with her face pressed against his throat. She lifted her head and winced. Haz came running in.

“What is going on in h–,” he stopped midsentence when he saw them on the floor, in quite the compromising position.

He grinned.

“What happened?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“I’m sure,” he said amused, his grin getting wider. He contemplated taking pictures but thought better of it. They’d kill him.

“She fell on me,” Tom grunted.

“No, I didn’t!” she protested.

“You literally fell off the stool, onto me.”

“Okay, fine, I did,” she huffed as she stood up, checking for bruises.

Tom was still lying on the floor, taking a moment to recuperate.

“Um, mate?” Haz snickered, looking down at him.

“What?”

Haz checked to see if she had noticed yet, before answering, “You got a little something there,” indicating his collarbone.

Tom swiped at the area, not finding anything.

“What? What is it?” he questioned. He too stood up and looked between the two, puzzled.

By now, she had realised what Haz was talking about and suppressed a smile.

“Oops.”

She pointed at the mirror on the wall and allowed him to make the discovery. She and Haz exchanged a look and giggled.

“What the fuck?”

They burst out laughing. Right at the base of his throat, there was a perfect impression of her lips, her red lipstick staining his pale skin. Glaring at his reflection, he tried to wipe the mark away but only succeeded in smudging it.

“How the hell am I supposed to get rid of this?” he growled.

“Will you relax? It’s just lipstick,” she reassured.

“Yeah, that makes it seem like you two were getting intimate,” Haz snorted.

“Shut up,” the other two snapped in unison.

“Okay, okay,” he backed out of the room. “I’m gonna finish up in the kitchen. You guys should finish all this too, party’s starting soon.”

She nodded at him and turned to look at Tom. He was still rubbing at that spot and she could tell that it had spread all over his neck now.

Sighing, she walked over to her bag and pulled out a makeup wipe. She sauntered over to him and held out the tissue. He took it reluctantly and cleaned the lipstick off.

She crossed her arms and waited for him, expecting a thank you.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” he said instead.

“For what?” she asked in confusion.

“You fell on me, I cushioned your fall. You’re welcome,” he explained simply.

“My hero,” this time she rolled her eyes at him. “Come on, we gotta finish hanging these streamers.”

Grumbling, they returned to their assigned job.

*

“Let’s get this party started!” Kat screamed, raising her cup in the air. Somebody turned the volume up, and the crowd cheered, the apartment filling with music. She kissed Haz and dragged him into the middle of the room, dancing with him.

Tom smiled at his friends enjoying themselves. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes wandering the room before they landed on her. She was wearing a short black dress, hair cascading down her back. She was tipsy but moved with confidence in her heels. He watched her hips swinging in time to the beat of the song, her arms above her head. He admired the curves of her body, very evident in the confines of the tight fabric. It wasn’t long before some guy was behind her, his hands on her hips. She was unfazed, grinding against him. She spun around in his arms, her own coming down over his shoulders. As she moved closer towards him, Tom looked away, filled with a strange resentment.

He left the room, in search of more alcohol to distract him from this unwanted feeling.

*

She needed a drink. She had been dancing for what felt like hours and was desperately thirsty. Squeezing past the swaying bodies she made it to the kitchen. She noticed Tom leaning against the counter, talking to another guest. She moved towards the island bench across from him and grabbed a bottle, pouring some soda into a cup. She guzzled it down.

“All that grinding made you thirsty, huh?” he asked, more bitterly than he intended.

Putting the cup down she frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“It clearly means something.”

A thought dawned on her.

“Are… are you… jealous?” she asked in disbelief.

“Are you kidding? Why the hell would I be jealous?” he scoffed. He took a gulp of his drink.

“Fine,” she shrugged her shoulders, not really caring. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“Down the hall to the left.”

She nodded her head once and pushed past party-goers in the direction he had advised.

In the bathroom she checked herself in the mirror. She tousled her hair, mind going back to her chat with Tom. What was up with him? Shaking her head, she rummaged through her purse for the tube of lipstick. Finding it, she removed the lid and applied a fresh coat. She pressed her lips together, evening out the colour. Just as she popped the lid back on, the door opened.

“Occupied,” she called out.

“It’s me,” Tom stepped in, closing the door behind him.

“Oh. I was just leaving anyway.”

Zipping up her purse, she took one final glance at the mirror.  She saw Tom in the corner of her eye and bit her lower lip. He was wearing a black tee emphasising the muscles in his arms. His jaw was clenched and she noticed how sharp it was. She swallowed.

“Am I making you nervous?” he asked curiously.

“Of course not,” she forced herself to make eye contact, hoping she exuded more confidence than she was feeling.

“You seem nervous,” he took a step towards her.

She took a step back.

“Why would I be nervous? If I recall correctly, you were the one who sounded jealous earlier. Do I make you nervous?” she countered, trying to gain the upper hand.

“Not at all, and that wasn’t jealousy,” he continued to move towards her.

“What was it then?” her back hit the wall.

He was standing awfully close now. He filled her senses, sight, smell, hearing. She met his stare, refusing to look away first.

“It was frustration.”

“At what?” she almost whispered.

“At wanting to do this.”

He cupped her face and crashed his mouth against hers. Once she recovered from her initial shock, she found herself kissing him back. The rigidity of her body seeped away as they melded into each other. She reached up and wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands dropped down to her back where they slipped further lower to her ass.

He lifted her up effortlessly and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their kiss was messy and passionate as everything they had been holding in came flooding out. He sat her on the edge of the sink and stood between her legs with his hands on her thighs. Her dress had ridden up and the heat of his palms seared her bare skin. He slid one hand up and gripped her hip while the other remained on her leg. He leaned forward, pushing her back and she threw an arm behind to find a purchase to support herself. She accidentally knocked over a bottle but they barely noticed it clattering to the floor. Her legs hugged his waist she gripped his shoulder with her right hand.

Needing a breath, Tom broke the kiss, moving his lips down her jaw to her neck. Her head fell back, exposing her throat and she let out a moan as he found her sweet spot. She tangled her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck, her other arm snaking back over his shoulder. She was lost in bliss. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling.

“Tom,” she moaned his name. Egged on by the sounds falling from her lips, he brought a hand up and slipped the spaghetti strap from her shoulder. He kissed down past her collarbone and along the soft skin of her shoulder.

All of a sudden there was a knock at the door.

“Mate?”

It was Haz.

“Fuck,” Tom cursed, as they separated. He stepped back and went to the door, not looking at her.

She, in turn, slipped off the sink and wiggled her dress back down to an appropriate length. She pushed her hair out of her face and turned to the mirror above the sink. Her lipstick was smeared across her mouth and her cheeks were flushed.

He opened the door.

“Yes, mate?” annoyance in his tone.

Haz’s mouth fell open in surprise when he saw Tom, but then he noticed her in the bathroom behind him. He smirked.

“Uh, you’ve got a little something…,” he repeated his words from earlier in the day.

“Huh?” Tom walked over to the sink where she was still standing.

He too, had her lipstick smudged over his mouth and chin. He dropped his head, shaking it.

“Wait ‘til I tell Kat,” Haz said gleefully, running off in the direction of the living room.

She looked at Tom. Then she went to the door and closed it. He turned to her when he heard the click of the lock.

“What are you doing?”

“We weren’t done.”


Tagging: @spideyontherun 

ageisia  asked:

I'm rewatching Civil War and it occurs to me that Sam Wilson is most definitely not the Sane One. He tries to outrun the supersoldier that already lapped him three times in his first appearance. He purposely antagonizes the guy that just tore through a UN superjail. He's the only one that doesn't address T'Challa as "your highness" and tries to start snarky banter. Point is, Natasha was the Responsible One. Or Clint or Pepper. Sam is one of the crazy idiots who constantly need bail money.

THANK YOU.

Everyone writes Sam as the replacement Bucky but guys, Bucky is trying to go into hiding because there are now TWO Steves on the loose. 

TWO of them. 

The only thing that makes him seem relatively sane is the lack of super abilities but anyone who thinks it’s a reasonable idea to attach a LIVE JET ENGINE ten inches from his asshole is nOT SANE. 

well yall… let’s just hope that john/dreamer tells clarice that her memories of john are fake and that they fall in love organically and even though that kiss wasn’t real there could be a very real kiss coming so um let’s stay positive 

I don’t care how much he tries to hide it behind snarky banter and sarcastic comments Raven Reyes is on the list of the very few people John Murphy cares about.

  • You: No Hotch, no watch!!
  • Me, an intellectual: Tara Lewis as a main character, Emily Prentiss as unit chief, Derek Morgan making a guest appearance, Luke Alvez existing, an equal ratio of male to female team members, three POC on the team, Roxy, snarky Garcia/Luke banter, JJ calling Spencer her best friend, Ralvez...

Every Buzzfeed Unsolved episode I watch has to pass a set of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: Is it a banger?

How many wheezes per minute? How many theories? How dope are the theories? Was there snarky banter? If not, it is not a banger. 

I once accidentally watched a video with Brent in it. I had to throw away my whole computer just to be safe.

unpopular opinion

I want only platonic otayuri moments in the movie. At this point in their development, I feel like I’d much rather just see them be friends. 

  • Give me Yuri trying to convince Otabek to come to ballet practice with him
  • Give me Otabek going on a spontaneous, one-day road trip with Yuri
  • Give me Yuri and Otabek challenging Victor and Yuri to a skating contest
  • Give me a snarky but friendly banter session between the two before their competition
  • Give me Yuri and Otabek continuing their traditional exchange of the *thumbs up* and “davai!” 
  • Give me Yuri trying to convince Otabek that cheetah print would be A Look on him
  • Give me Otabek unironically buying best friend mood necklaces for Yuri because he’s never had a best friend and wants to do it right.

I’m GMing a campaign for a friend of mine and she’s playing solo. Her elf hunter character is exploring old ruins where and NPC has disappeared, possibly captured. Upon entering the ruin he comes across a group of bandits guarding the first room and manages the charisma roll to approach them without them attacking him on sight. He then starts talking how he’s just a tomb raider looking for easy money. Eventually he asks if he could join the bandits.The leader of the bandits isn’t exactly taking him seriously.

Me (Bandit leader): “You don’t just join my group in a whim. One, I’d need to have a reason to believe I won’t find a blade in between my shoulder blades the second I turn my back. Two, you’d need to have something going on between those pointy ears of yours, of which I’ve yet to see any proof. And three, you’d need to prove you’re actually worth something.”

Hunter: “Well, how do I prove it?”

To sum things up, the bandit leader is honestly getting bored with the assignment to guard the entrance and she thinks this might be a good way to pass the time. So while her band gathers to watch, she tells the hunter she would test his combat skills. They choose to fight without weapons and though the difference in their stats is HUGE (the bandit leader was effectively a mini boss), the hunter manages to land a hit or two. All the while the two characters are doing some snarky banter in the midst of attacks and the hunter rolls charisma every few turns to see if the bandit appreciates his humor. Finally, this happens:

Me: “OK, she sidesteps to dodge your attack and is now right behind you. She’s about to strike you in the back. What do you do?”

My friend: “…I smile as charmingly as I can and hopefully stop her attack for a second or two.”

At this point, I’m losing it and I tell her to roll for it. Charisma is the hunter’s leading stat, but it’s still a very tough roll, as I judge it wouldn’t be easy to stop a bandit boss mid-attack with a freaking smile. But son of a gun, the roll succeeds.

Me: *after taking a moment to calm down my hysterical laughter* “OK, OK… You turn to smile at her with your most charming smile and she freezes out of pure surprise, looking at you like you’ve completely lost your mind.”

My friend: “I know it’s a dick move, but can I roll to punch her now?”

Long story short, yes, her hunter lands a hit. After a few turns, the bandit leader tackles him, fairly amused by not only the fight but also by their banter. So she lets him sit by their fire, he tells the real reason he’s in the ruins and she lets him go on his way on the condition that once he finds the ones who captured the lost NPC, he won’t kill them. Because she still wants the other half of her promised pay. 

And that’s the story of how my friend’s character made friends with bandits. 

Sutures and Stitches Pt. 3

→ angst, fluff, action, mature (mentions of blood/wounds, medical jargon), smut in future chapters
→ hitman!jeongguk and medstudent!Y/N, bestfriends!au
→ It was your secret that your best friend was a hitman, and his secret that his best friend was a girl who was currently $200k in debt and working 80 hours a week saving people. But it worked out somehow.
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 

How was it that the two people with the most secrets became best friends? 


A/N: thank you everyone for your encouraging comments! heres pt 3! 

And especially thank you to Lu (@nottodayjeon), Lex (@taeuclid), and Alexus (@duck-bonpedro) for taking time out of their day to help me figure out this chapter and the entire storylineeeeee you guys are beautifulllll <3 

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maybe you are

So. 

You’re tied up in a chair–

–and the supervillain who regularly kidnaps you is circling you in his wheel-y chair and you’re exchanging snarky banter and it’s all pretty much business as usual until you lean forward to give emphasis to your next sarcastic remark

at the exact same moment 

     that he leans forward–

          (because he thinks it makes him look more menacing) 

                                    (it doesn’t), 

                                                  and…

                                                      (fuck)

                                                       (shit)

                                                  (FUCK)

                                                   …and you’re both just sort of sitting there frozen 

…not moving 

                         ….not moving 

                                                          –oh god what the fuck do you do–

–and your stomach is doing that stupid swooping thing it does sometimes when he stands too close and your heart is beating way too fast, fluttering against your sternum and you can feel yourself blushing because– 

                                –okay, maybe you’ve got a thing for black leather and 

                               –okay, maybe you’ve got a thing for nerds and 

                               –ohfuckingkay, maybe you’ve actually got a huge thing 

                                                                              for this nerd 

                                                                             in black leather          

                                                                           s p e c i f i c a l l y  

and maybe you’ve (definitely) 

thought about this happening before

                          but not like this 

(oh god oh god)

                                                 WHAT 

                           ARE YOU 

                                                        SUPPOSED

                                  TO DO

                                                       ?!?

                   

                   (PROBABLY NOT THAT, ROXANNE–)


                                             (–except for how–)

                                                  (–maybe–)

                                                 (you are)

                                                        💙

anonymous asked:

Hey sorry can u recommend/link fics with Draco and Ron being rly good friends??? Thanks xx

Sure! Sorry for the late answer

DRARRY + DRACO/RON FRIENDSHIP

Matchmaking (frostywonder)

Rating: PG, WC: 22.1k, Summary: When Hermione rushes off to the Amazon, Ron is left alone in handling their brooding third wheel. Somehow, he drags Malfoy into the mix and the stupid Ferret steals the show.

Draco Preparedness (olimakiella)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 14.2k, Summary: Being an events planner for the Quidditch World Cup Gala is not so new to Draco Malfoy, neither is working on a tight budget with a low work force. This time around he’s been given the QWC Liaison to make the work easier. Only problem is the Liaison is Harry Potter, fresh from a stint of prolonged meditation and finding himself. Potter has other matters on his mind, like offering Draco unwanted lunches, trapping him in elevators and generally just being confusing. Draco seriously believes Potter has it in for him – and he does – just not the way Draco believes…

A Hard Bargain (Or How Draco Malfoy Was Ripped-Off) (valinorean)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 6.5k, Summary: Never trust in the god of love. He is a swindler and cheat. But sometimes the trouble is worth the price.

Don’t Let’s Stop or The Case of the Dead Philandering Politician (A Draco Malfoy Mystery) (i_l0ve_my_az)

Rating: PG, WC: 15.9k, Summary: Herein Draco Malfoy is a Forensic Analyst employed by the DMLE, has an ongoing feud with Coulson who works days, irreparably frightens assistants, imbibes massive amounts of coffee and quite possibly engages in too much snarky banter with his liaison, Inspector Potter.

Still Clearly Up To No-Good Things (snsk)

Rating: PG-13, WC: 3.8k, Summary: “Tails,” Harry intoned to no-one in particular. “Harry,” Draco said kindly, “perhaps it is getting a bit too late for you. You are gibbering again.”

The Dating Game - A Christmas Story (digthewriter)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 16.1k, Summary: Harry and Draco have their first date on Christmas Eve and Harry is nervous. His friends aren’t helping.

Peeking Behind The Curtain (calrissian18)

Rating: PG-13, WC: 23.4k, Summary: Draco sees things he really, really wishes he didn’t. If only to get out of all the homework that comes with it.

And, On The Other Side, A Welcoming Voice (blamebrampton)

Rating: PG-13, WC: 38.7k, Summary: For twenty years, the official history has told readers that Harry Potter died at the Battle of Hogwarts. The next edition is going to require some significant revisions.

What I Thought (bafflinghaze)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 9.7k, Summary: Draco thought they were in a relationship. Harry thought it was just sex.

hey, a prayer request please

a little on the personal side this time.

i’ve always had trouble making friends. see, just because of the way my personality (snarky) and humor (commentary) are, a lot of people tend to dismiss me as boring at first interaction. it takes me a few weeks to find my stride with each individual relationship, so i tend to be very awkward at first, which drives people off.

it took me a full year at my small co-op (only 10 highschoolers) to feel like i fit in and felt comfortable familiarity with everyone. i’ve never been good at immediately clicking with others. it’s always been gradual with me, and most people dont seem to have the patience for that.

i guess it’s hard for me because i feel like im already being left behind. my roommate already has like 10 friends that she’s going out and doing stuff with and so far she’s my only psuedo-friend. i’ve been lonely for so many years now and the thought of it happening all over again is frankly causing a lot of emotional stress.

anyways, i guess what i’m asking is for y’all to pray that God sends me just a few good people willing to be friends with me. just a squad i can hang out with where i dont feel like an intrusion. i would really like that.

Hamish

Merlin’s name never really sat well with him. It felt too overly distinguished, and every time he pictured a Hamish he imagined someone posh and snobby with an upturned nose, the very last image he wanted to associate himself with. 

So it is not without irony when he gains his position at Kingsman, surrounded by colleagues he once swore he’d avoid associating with at all cost. However, the title the job comes with offers him a palpable relief, and he is glad to finally be able to shed the emotional cape of Hamish he never asked for. 

Merlin. Now there was a name he delighted in inhabiting. Being Merlin felt like slipping into the most comfortable pair of shoes he’d ever had in his life, more him than he’d ever felt before. It felt like he finally belonged somewhere, and was appreciated and respected for exactly who he was. And best of all, being called Merlin sparked a tinge of pride within him because it was a name he knew he’d earned, rather than one that had been simply given to him. 

However, older knights that preceded his arrival at Kingsman didn’t let him forget Hamish. And the first time one of them had the audacity to use it to get his attention after he’d officially been installed as Merlin ended up facing a glare full of cold fury fueled by all the memories that had suddenly been dredged up of a desperate lack of feeling like he belonged anywhere. 

Merlin’s correction, measured, but sharp as a knife’s edge, barely masks his rage and shame. 

Merlin. It’s Merlin, and nothing else. 

From that day forward, the term Hamish vanished from the Knights’ vocabulary. 

That is, until a certain Harry Hart gradually installed himself as a permanent fixture in Merlin’s office. After getting over the initial intrusiveness of having an actual human being in a space he once shared with nothing but electronics and manila files, he finds himself speaking absentmindedly to the air about his day and life in general just to dispel the awkward silence as he tinkered with gadgets and busied himself with paperwork. Harry simply sat in a tatty armchair in the corner, nose buried in his novel of choice, murmuring little noises of acknowledgement and slipping in a question or two now and again. 

It’s grown into such a comforting routine that by the time the question of his name came up, the word Hamish spills from his lips before Merlin has a chance to stop himself. He freezes, and a brief moment of silence passes before he adds “but I don’t like it much” in what he hopes is a nonchalant tone. 

“Merlin does suit you well. But Hamish is a lovely name all the same.”

Strange, it doesn’t sound that bad when Harry says it. 

If he was being honest to himself, it even sounded a bit endearing, hearing Harry speak his old name. It didn’t really feel like he needed to be Merlin around Harry. Harry actually cared about who he was, underneath all of the Merlin he projected. And that thought was unexpectedly reassuring, like a warm blanket had been draped around him.

Very hesitantly, Merlin ventures, “But you could call me Hamish…if you like.” 

He doesn’t turn around, but he can hear Harry’s soft chuckle from across the room before the man speaks.

“I think I’ll stick with Merlin while we’re on Kingsman property. But if I ever spot you out and about, or say the pub this Friday evening at a quarter past nine, I can’t say I’ll turn down the opportunity to use it.” 

At this point, Merlin found that a smile had plastered itself across his face. 

“Aye, make that a quarter to nine.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

(Feel free to pass this on to other bfu blogs BUT-) inspired in part by Ryan's old "Maybe film school will be worth it one day" Tumblr post, a LaLaLand AU, with Ryan (as a fresh film school graduate with a grand dream of starting his own paranormal-investigation TV series. No one he pitches his ideas to takes him seriously, though. But he still holds hope that things will work out some day) and Shane (a very jaded jazz musician who hides his disbelief in things working out under sarcasm).

other bfu blogs can pry a La La Land au from my cold dead hands because I have watched that film once a week all summer and I sing the soundtrack every single day

please consider: 

  • Shane as a dancer instead of a jazz musician
  • Ryan wholeheartedly believes that dreams come true for everybody, while Shane has never had his own dreams come true so he’s very skeptical/doesn’t believe in dreams
  • one night Ryan drags his friends along to a historic theatre in LA to film some ghosts, but when they arrive they find a tall, tall man who’s dancing across the empty stage with a single spotlight on him, and Ryan is totally transfixed, but when he approaches him to compliment his talent he ends up being shoved aside as the dancer storms out of the theatre without a word, and Ryan mentally calls the guy a ‘fucking asshole’ about ten times over
  • when one of Ryan’s friends gets invited to a party thrown by a Big Shot Buzzfeed Employee, he gets dragged along, but he never gets the chance to network with anyone about his idea for a show because goddamnit he would recognise those fucking long-ass legs anywhere
  • the dancer is named Shane and he, too, was forced to attend the party by a friend (but the second he finds out Ryan is interested in film he decides not to tell him his friend is a Big Deal at Buzzfeed, because he doesnt want to be used for his connections), and there’s a load of snarky banter
  • “You disappeared so fast that night I actually thought you might be a ghost yourself.”
  • “Don’t be ridiculous, ghosts aren’t real.”
  • “So you have another explanation for all the creepy shit that happens at that theatre?”
  • “Yeah, it’s me. I’m the creepy shit. I sneak in there all the time to practice dancing. They plan on turning it into a fucking cinema. But– it’s one of the last theatres in LA, that stage is meant to be performed on, not turned into some indie sideshow movie house.”
  • And Ryan falls just a little bit in love that day.

This… got away from me omfg

Throwback Tuesday: President’s Son

Such a sweet, wonderfully fluffy, and hopeful fic! Love it, love it: 

i grew up in your white house by @tryslora (1/1 | 2,309 | Gen.)

Derek sneaks away from the tour at the White House. He’s looking for one thing, and finds something else entirely.

Excellent banter! So snarky and fresh!: 

Love is a many splendored thing by Hedwig_Dort (1/1 | 3,334 | Teen)

Prince Derek - of obscure European royalty, has been studying and working in the US for about a decade now -has been strong armed by his family to attend the state visit to the newly elected President Stilinski. He tries to hide on the edge of the party and meets an interesting young man.

Stiles Stilinski has been feeling a little adrift since his father was elected. He is under firm instructions from his father and his best friend to keep his face and/or ass out of the tabloids. He just needs something to do! But for now he’s just hiding from their European guests.

As always, they find each other

I just *melt*!!: 

protect what you love by haleofStilesheart (1/1 | 804 | Teen) 

A scream wakes Derek up in the middle of the night. So goes the life of a Secret Service agent.

For the ❄ prompt: 66. “I had a nightmare.”

This is perfection!: 

What Would the Press Think? by whiry / @provokiing (1/1 | 1,801 | Teen) 

“Fuck the press,“ Derek growls too lowly, and it makes Stiles smirk more.

"Fuck the press,” he whispers back, almost excitedly.

So cute and awesomeeeee: 

Heart’s on Fire by julietangel (1/1 | 6,696 | Explicit) 

Stiles should have known it was him, but he blames the games for distracting him from his soulmate.

(Bonus! Written in 2015 but simply one of the BEST!): 

reGuardless by @raisesomehale (1/1 | 3,470 | Mature) 

The president had been to the point when he explained to Derek the rules of the job.

Stiles was in the room while these rules were recited: Never take your eyes off of him in public. That’s how he liked to dodge his last bodyguards. No more than an arm’s length apart. He’s more slippery than you’d think. Escort him to and from appearances. Intervene in any situation that might tarnish the Stilinski image…

The list went on and on. As did the games of chicken Stiles initiated to test Derek with these rules.

Wonder Woman: Warbringer

Rating: ★★★★★ (4.5/5)

Short blurb: Diana longs to prove herself to her legendary warrior sisters. But when the opportunity finally comes, she throws away her chance at glory and breaks Amazon law—risking exile—to save a mere mortal. Even worse, Alia Keralis is no ordinary girl and with this single brave act, Diana may have doomed the world. Alia is a Warbringer, a direct descendant of the infamous Helen of Troy, fated to bring about an age of bloodshed and misery. Together, they must face an army of enemies, both mortal and immortal, to break the Warbringer curse and prevent an age of war.

This isn’t like the Wonder Woman movie. It’s better.

I know, bold claim. Not everyone’s going to agree. The movie was amazing and dramatic, and Warbringer… is also amazing and dramatic, but a little more casual. There’s more time for snarky banter and Road Trip Nonsense and a more complex backstory for Diana.

The story begins with Diana only wanting to prove herself to the other Amazons, to show that even if she’s the only one who didn’t earn her place on Themyscira, she’s as strong and brave as any of them. But she can’t let a shipwrecked girl drown off the coast of her beloved island, and in her heroic rescue she lets a dangerous curse put the Amazons at risk. Now she must save Alia from everyone who wants her dead and team up with her mortal friends to break the curse before it’s too late. And that means going to New York City.

Please, take a moment to imagine that. Wonder Woman in New York City. Yes, it’s as glorious as it sounds. Yes, there are gross dudes getting shut down on the subway. Yes, Diana is mistaken for cosplaying a warrior princess. It’s brilliant.

This isn’t just Diana’s story. Alia, who’s terrified of her curse but determined to do what needs doing and take control of her life, is an amazing protagonist. They’re joined by her brother Jason, her best friend Nim, and longtime crush Theo, all of whom have their own problems, backstories, and ultimately strengths that save the day. The story highlights the relationship dynamics between them, from platonic and romantic to rivalries and betrayals. The whole mythical road trip plus hilarious moments, monster fights, and major plot twists brought back lots of Percy Jackson nostalgia.

This was definitely one of my favorite reads of the year. Look forward to action-packed humor and friendship-heavy Percy Jackson vibes. Leigh Bardugo writing (fantasy-infused) contemporary was an amazing idea.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm very new to the Barisi fandom and I fell in love so quickly. I've always been a casual SVU watcher and have only seen a handful of episodes with Quality Barisi Moments, so I was hoping you could help me with a list of Iconic episodes to watch so I make sure I catch all the good moment? I'll go back one day and watch the show completely but for now I don't have the time and would appreciate the help with this beautiful ship. Thank you!!!

Ahhh, hello there new Barisi shipper!! I am so happy to hear that you have fallen in love with this beautiful little ship, and I would be more than happy to compile a list of episodes for you with some magical moments between our favorite detective-ADA lawyer boyfriends duo!

Season 16:

  • “Girls Disappeared” - Episode 1
    - There’s not a whole lot of interaction between Barisi in this particular episode, but, since it is Sonny’s introduction to the squad, he and Barba meet for the first time. And there may or may not be some eyes made at one another. *winky face*
  • “Producer’s Backend” - Episode 3
    - Again, not a whole lot of individual moments, but there is some snarky banter between Sonny and Rafael about law. There’s also an adorable scene in Rafael’s office where Sonny does a whole lot of staring.
  • “Decaying Morality” - Episode 13
    - Snarky banter. “Booyah, Fordham Law!”
  • “December Solstice” - Episode 16
    - Snarky banter that turns into Rafael telling Sonny that he’s right for the first time, culminating in the biggest heart-eye staredown ever.
  • “Parole Violations” - Episode 17
    - Rafael takes Sonny’s soon to be brother-in-law’s case to court. There are some courtroom heart-eyes.

Season 17 (AKA BARISI HEAVEN):

  • “Devil’s Dissections” - Episode 1
    - Snarky banter. Rafael admits “Carisi’s right”. Their dynamic continues.
  • “Criminal Pathology” - Episode 2
    - Sonny reassures Rafael that he’s doing a good job in court and I cry!!!
  • “Institutional Fail” - Episode 4
    - Sonny and Rafael interrogate together. I cry some more.
  • “Community Policing” - Episode 5
    - I don’t know if you could necessarily consider this a “Barisi moment” per se, but there’s an interesting little moment in this episode where we see Sonny disagree with Rafael for what I believe is the first time. He also sticks up for him later on, because Sonny’s a dork with a crush. (’:
  • “Depravity Standard” - Episode 9
    - THE HOLY GRAIL OF BARISI EPISODES. SONNY SHADOWS RAFAEL IN COURT AND YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE IT RIGHT NOW, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!!!
  • “A Misunderstanding” - Episode 12
    - Snarky banter, Rafael questioning Sonny on the stand, general Good Shit.
  • “Forty-One Witnesses” - Episode 13
    - Snarky banter, honestly do these two do anything but tease each other and give heart-eyes???
  • “Star-Struck Victims” - Episode 16
    - OH, THIS IS A GOOD ONE. SONNY THANKS RAFAEL FOR HELPING HIM PASS THE BAR. MY WORDS CAN’T DO IT’S BEAUTY JUSTICE.
  • “Unholiest Alliance” - Episode 18
    THIS EPISODE CONTAINS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE BARISI MOMENT OF ALL TIME OF RAFAEL COMFORTING SONNY. I CRY EVERY TIME. 10/10.
  • “Interesting Lives” - Episode 22
    - They stood next to each other once and for some reason that one moment made me cry so maybe you want to experience it, too???
  • “Heartfelt Passages” - Episode 23
    - GOOD BARISI SHIT. HEART EYES GALORE. SONNY WORRYING OVER RAFAEL. THE MOMENT THAT ALL BARISI SHIPPERS SIMULTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED.

Season 18 (AKA BARISI HELL AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY, AKA I’M GOING TO BE PULLING SO MANY OF THESE MOMENTS OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE THE WRITERS HATED US THIS SEASON):

  • “Terrorized” - Episode 1
    - This episode actually had a legitimate, adorable moment that had me screaming at my TV in which Sonny and Rafael exchanged annoyed lawyer boyfriend glances because that’s what happens when you’re just So In Sync.
  • “Making a Rapist” - Episode 2
    - I’m including this on here because it is technically a moment, but it’s not a good one for these two. ): Proceed with caution.
  • “Imposter” - Episode 3
    - I always have a thing for Sonny and Rafael interrogating together, which happens in this one.
  • “Motherly Love” - Episode 10
    - Probably the best Barisi all season!! Sonny helped Rafael go over Important Law Things for the case!! With sleeves rolled up!!
  • “Genes” - Episode 13
    - Also not a good one for our boys, but, it happened. ):
  • “The Newsroom” - Episode 16
    - Sonny texts Rafael in court, they exchange annoyed lawyer boyfriend glances, heart eyes ensue.
  • “Spellbound” - Episode 18
    - This episode is Dumb as Shit, but there’s a really cute scene where Sonny meets his boyfriend and Liv at a bar to give them an update on their case. (’:
  • “Conversion” - Episode 19
    - Liv was there, but they did interrogate together again, which, for this season, was Good Shit. They talked about law together, too, which I always love. 
  • “American Dream” - Episode 20
    - Rafael looked at Sonny all soft-eyed and adorable and I died. Also, “Or what, you’ll deport me to Cuba, send him to Italy?”

Hope this helps, anon!!

Also, I just have a lot of feelings about this:

(x)

Because Natasha is almost always the one to initiate when it comes to Steve:

  • mentions Phil Coulson’s Captain America trading cards when she first meets Steve to ease him into the chaotic atmosphere of the helicarrier
  • continuously tries to set him up, to the point where she can bring it up in the middle of a mission and he just goes along
  • texts him about business with emoticons
  • steals the hard-drive Fury gave to Steve and, instead of cracking it on her own like she very well could’ve, she goes back to the hospital to find Steve because she wants to work with him, as a team
  • and then literally bares her scars to him and makes a joke about it because making jokes during tense situations is what she does and again, Steve is so used to it that he goes along with it
  • I’m not going to use The Kiss as a point because that’s technically cover stuff, but after, she openly asks him about his “dating life” and rather than seeming surprised or whatever when he admits that he’s kissed at least one person since coming off the ice, she looks happy for him because he’s actually trying
  • he comes to her to ask what’s bothering her after they find refuge in Sam’s guest bedroom, because Steve Rogers comforts people, he tries to help them, it’s what he does - but Natasha reaches out to him, asks him about something that’s very important to her - if he trusts her - because she genuinely wants to know, maybe she’s almost desperate to after he’s saved her life, and she almost can’t help it, so she asks because she wants to know how he sees her
  • THE CHEEK KISS IN THE CEMETERY
  • joins in on teasing Steve about the “language!” and instead of acting exasperated like with the others, he actually teasingly fights back
  • accepts their supposed impending death in Sokovia with this sad, small smile on her face, looking perfectly content to spend her last moments with him, so comfortable in his presence that she doesn’t even have to look at him -  his presence is enough

Natasha almost goes out of her way to connect with Steve and I love it, not just as a shipper, but as someone who loves Natasha and hates seeing her characterized as emotionally distant and detached. Is she cautious? Yes. Is she not as affectionate as others? Yes. But she doesn’t shy away from being openly affectionate with the people she cares about, the people she loves. It manifests in different ways - snarky banter with Clint, an understanding akin to loyalty with Fury, sympathetic conversations with Bruce. And with Steve? It means reaching out to him and making the first move. I think we all see a terrible loneliness in Steve and Natasha doesn’t want that for him. She wants him to feel like he belongs with them, in this time, because this is his home now and he deserves to feel that way. From the very beginning, she’s been the one to initiate a personal interaction with him and I think that says so much about how their relationship works, because Steve isn’t the one that wears his heart on his sleeve with personal matters like this, and he isn’t the one that is trying to fix her - she’s trying to be open to him, reaching out to him in a way she believes will finally get him to reach out, too. Maybe not to her specifically, which is why she tries to set him up with someone else, but she wants to see him reach out to someone, to lean on someone and not carry all of this weight on his own shoulders anymore. She wants to chip away at the ice so that he can have an intimate connection with someone and not be so alone, because if he has that with someone then it means that he finally has a reason to truly exist in this new life he was thrust into, and that means Natasha would’ve finally gotten it right.