snarkles

xD J2 turned into My Little Ponies

But it’s cute :P

After two seconds of trying to burrow his head under the couch Jared resigned, stood back up and ran at full tiny horse speed to Jensen. Jensen couldn’t move as sparkly pink creature came towards him, rainbow hair flowing behind him.

Jared had a dust bunny on his ear.

“I can’t fit under your couch,” Jared informed Jensen with great regret.

Jensen blinked what he knew were ridiculously big eyes.

“Oh,” Jared said as an afterthought, “And I think we’ve turned into My Little Ponies.”

Then Jared shook off that little bit of news as if it wasn’t even important, and then he proceeded to take great interest into looking at Jensen’s peach posterior.

“You have stars on your ass,” Jared said. Then he was still again, “I wonder what that means.”

“Stop looking at my ass,” Jensen finally said, backing away quickly from Jared.

“What do I have on my ass?” Jared asked… 


BIG HAIR! The Tutorial

Every time I post a photo of my younger self with enormous gothy hair, I get a flurry of questions about HOW. How can someone achieve immense hair? Hair big enough to obscure someone’s face in photos, hair big enough that if you unwisely fall asleep in class, someone will hide pencils in your hair and ask you if you can find them. (The answer, for the record, is no. Not until I washed my hair out. On the plus side, I had three extra pencils.)

So here, my Snarklings. How your Auntie Jilli did her hair, 1986 – 1997(ish):

IMPLEMENTS NEEDED: A fine-tooth comb, a hair pick, and extra-super-hold aerosol hairspray. Yes, aerosol. I know, I know, horrible for the environment, hole in the ozone layer. But pump hairspray doesn’t provide as even of a mist, which is needed to build up the layers of hold.

A word about hairspray: NOTHING made today comes close to the magnificence that was the original AquaNet Extra-Super-Hold Unscented. I am still angry that the formula changed, and I will always be angry. Nowadays, when I do Big Hair, I use the Big Sexy Hair aerosol Spray and Play Harder. Ridiculous name, but it gets the job done.

  • Start with dry hair that hasn’t been washed for a few days. If your hair IS freshly washed and dried, gently spray ALL of your hair with a texturizing spray or a light coat of hairspray.
  • Sit down, flip your head upside-down, and grab a section of hair. Hold the hair with one hand, and take the comb and start backcombing it as if your life depended on it. (Backcombing is exactly what it sounds like: combing the hair in the opposite direction, causing a teased clump near the roots.)
  • Do this until all of your hair is teased. Head upside-down, upright, whichever position is easiest for you to get everything backcombed. You should have a bunch of teased clumps of hair with longer tendrils coming out of them.
  • Spray a fine coat of hairspray over all your hair. Let that dry for a minute or so, then start spraying the individual teased clumps. If you miss a few at the back of your head, don’t worry; the other sections will work as a scaffold for it.
  • Alternating between the fine-tooth comb and the hair pick, start combing/teasing/fluffing together the sections of hair to form the shape you want from your big hair. (If you are going for the classic Robert Smith electrified cotton ball, just fluff it all together.) As you get a section molded into the shape you want, hit it with another coat of hairspray.
  • Once you’ve got the enormous style you want, add another layer of hairspray, and do one last check with the hair pick to make sure the tendrils are fluffed to your liking.
  • Now lacquer the bejezus out of your hair with the hairspray. Hold your breath, spray your entire head, then wait a minute. THEN REPEAT. For your magnificent thicket of hair to stay up, you should apply at least 4 coats of hairspray during this final step.

TA-DA! Hair to make Siouxsie, Robert Smith, and Patricia Morrison proud of you. Go forth! Don’t get tangled in low-hanging tree branches! Don’t set your hair on fire by leaning too close to candles!

2

Because a friend of mine asked me for the link; you peeps DO know there’s a Gothic Charm School CafePress store, right?

(Yes, I know, we should move to a different vendor, and whoo, do we need to redesign the merch pages. But still! Do you need a Snarkling t-shirt? A Gothic Charm School logo shirt? Baby onesies and bibs? All sorts of Gothic Charm School goodies, designed by that talented peteventers RealHusband of mine!)

anonymous asked:

~Hello~ I was just wondering if Queen Snarkling has time to write about Baghra and Darkles, specifically at the moment/moments before Darkles realizes that Baghra let Alina loose. I mean, the Darkling surely didn't believe that Alina, a Grisha, was sick, right? Right??? I wonder what line of shizzles Baghra fed Darkles...

The Darkling stared at the oprichnik, his quartz eyes boring into the guard uncomfortably. He saw the subtle movement of the man’s Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat before he tentatively opened his mouth. 

“Baghra’s orders, moi sovrenyi” he said apologeticaly. “I was to report the Sun Summoner was indisposed with a sudden flu.” 

Something so terrifying flashed in the Darkling’s eyes for half a second that the oprichnik guard leapt aside without being told. His gloved hand was at the ornate handle, twisting it to find it open. No one had locked it from the inside. 

Even before he swung the door, he knew he wouldn’t find her. He knew his mother had worked her treachery on her, whispering wild tales to confuse her, turn her against him. He did not open the door to confirm his suspicions. He opened it because even in that moment, a part of him had hoped; hoped Alina had dismissed the old woman’s words and waited for him still. 

He stared into the cold and empty room, feeling for what would not be the last time, a complete fool. 


He did not knock when he reached the wooden door of the hut. He simply thrust it open and walked into that insufferable heat. It hit him like a wall of oppressive air. This time, instead of closing the door behind him, he let it open just a few inches, a petty satisfaction at watching the old woman in the chair shiver in her seat by the fire. 

“Where did you send her,” he demanded, his voice surprisingly even and quiet.

“Shut the door, boy,” she croaked, ignoring him. “You’re letting the heat out.” 

The Darkling took a slow step forward, the long shadow of his tall frame falling over her. She knew exactly what he was talking about. They had long since disposed of insulting each other with pretence.  He knew he only had one attempt at getting the answer out of Baghra. Once she made up her mind, she was more stubborn that he was. 

Taking her by surprise, he knelt by her side, taking her wiry hands in his smooth ones. Softly, he pressed her hands to his cheek, mimicking an old forgotten childhood ritual. 

Madraya,” he pleaded, using the damnable word for what would be the last time. “Please. You must see this is for the best. For all of us. Tell me where she is and I will gladly forget this transgression.”

He watched her eyes widen, glistening softly in the firelight. She had not heard him call her that in centuries. She hated the way it still warmed her deadened heart after all these ages past. Still, the woman was no fool. 

“Hmph,” she said, a twisted smirk of her own spreading over her face. Before she had even completed the gesture, he knew it was a lost cause. “Who are you to forgive my transgressions? Did you take me for a debutante? A stupid girl you could manipulate with your old tricks?”

“Listen to me, Madra—”

The sound of the slap echoed in the quiet hut. There had been a time when she would have given anything to be his mother again. But now, to hear him almost utter the word was like a mocking insult. 

“There’s no use searching for her, boy. She is dead! All you can do now is repent for your sins.” 

A familiar weariness spread over the Darkling’s features. He hadn’t wanted to do it the hard way. He stood again, removing a glove to rub his stinging cheek. 

“Enough,” he told her. “I grow tired of your childish games. I will find her. And when I do, you will sorry for crossing me for the last time.”

Even with the roar of the fire, a slow chill spread to the old woman’s bones. She tried to stare him down, to convince him to give up this madness. 

“She is dead,” she repeated, praying to the Saints he would believe her lie. 

The Darkling moved to the doorway, a faint smile on his lips. 

“Go to the chapel,” he told her, repeating the very words he was so used to hearing. “Pray for your soul. Or better yet, your eyes.” 

Epic Reads Epic Week

Can’t believe it’s already May? Us either! But you know what that means, time to create an unrealistically long May TBR list.

Meet the BEST Book Boyfriends of Your Life- Book boyfriends count as real boyfriends… right?!

Cartoon Characters All Grown Up- Nostalgia overload!

Mind Powers: Gift or Curse?- Which side of the debate are you on?

Free Comic Book Day- Head to your local comic book store this today (Saturday, May 3rd) and get a free comic book!

Top 9 Historical Forbidden Loves- 1996 Leo? Swoon!  

Unlock THE ONE!

Epic Reads Epic Week

We have a fancy schmancy new intro video, Welcome to Epic Reads! Don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel and join our book nerdiness!  

How To Be A Princess | Things I Learned in YA: Selection Etiquette- Let’s just say we have a long way to go.

The Book was Better Hand Painted MugWANT!

14 YA Survivors We Admire- We recommend playing “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child while reading this.

A Book Nerd’s Guide to Meeting Boys- Tip one involves bookstores, which is where you probably are right now.

Punk Sailor Moon Cosplay- Moon Prism Punk!

9 Famous “THE ONEs” from Pop Culture- Picking which “team” you’re on isn’t just for sports!

New Her Universe Fashion Items- Fight the empire in style! 

“Making my way downtown, faces pass, and I’m home bound…”

Epic Reads Epic Week

First spring is here, and then it’s not, and then it’s back again. Sounds like a YA love story, lol amirite?! *taps mic* Is this thing on?

Hot Topic’s new Maleficent Fashion Collection

Take all of my money!  

17 YA Sisters We Love

At least these sisters can’t borrow our clothes without asking. ;)

How Much Of A Book Addict Are You?

We don’t need a test to know, but we’ll take it anyway.

Listen To The EXILE Soundtrack By Kevin Emerson

Serenade your soul with these tracks hand-picked by the author!

How To Throw A Gatsby Party 

Tip: There’s no such thing as “too much”.

Baby Snarkles being ridiculously cute.