snarf's

She really likes dogs...

Meeting a phantom dog guarding a library:

DM: Its growls and snarls at you.

Bard: I throw it a ration.

DM: it snarfs it down and growls a little less.

Bard: I throw it another.

DM: it snarfs it down and burps.

Fighter: I hold a ration out in my hand to it.

DM: it snaps at your hand.

Fighter: Is it holding on?

DM: it’s trying to…

Fighter: I hold out my hand still.

DM: Well then thats… 2 points of damage

Fighter: I still hold it out.

DM: that’s another 8 points…

Fighter: Puppyyyyyy…….

DM: that’s 19 points. How long are you gonna lose your fingers?

Fighter: Worth it, I got to pet a dog.

(Later as we backtrack)

Fighter: Is my puppy still there??

DM: No, it’s on the other side of the two secret doors.

Fighter: Can I go through?

DM: (exasperated) I don’t care.

Fighter: I go through!

DM: Fine it eats your arm.

anonymous asked:

Can I have HCs about the gang having to blend in on a planet that only communicates through song

the most important things that come out of this are as follows:

  • keith and lance going at it by singing “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better”
    • lance (making a competition out of who can snarf down the most alien food before they get yelled at by a more responsible team member) “ ♫ Awnythif yu canf do iw can dow bettfr!! ♫ ”

    • keith (instantly shoving an entire plate into his mouth) “ ♫ Noh yuf cantf ♫ ”

  • Shiro’s rendition of “Hello Darkness My Old Friend” when he gets inevitably separated from the group and has to fight for his life on his own while the rest of the gang is off singing like, High School Musical 2 with the locals on the beach or something

  • pidge literally just sits there and types everything she wants to say into that ditty.it app from the “cat no banana” video 

  • hunk has the voice of an angel and spends the entire time singing lines from Disney songs. there are lot of tears shed. 75% of them by lance.

  • coran tries to pick up “the earth skill of beatboxing!” it goes about as well as one would expect (that is to say, very)

  • allura can’t sing. like at all. and the whole team knows it. so in attempt not to offend the locals they’ve all mutually agreed that they can’t let allura talk the entire time. chaos ensues. allura is pissed she keeps getting interrupted and by the end of it all she ends up making a grand horribly off-key sing-song speech about teamwork and hope and the team is just. “well everyone we tried it was nice knowing you looks like this is one alliance we’ll have to forgo forever.”

    • plot twist: the locals love allura’s voice and want her to stay and essentially rule over the entire planet.

    • there is a collective agreement to never even try to stop allura from doing whatever the hell she wants ever again

  • coran continues to utilize his beatboxing skills to “pass the time on the ship just like on those earth roadtrips you were telling me about!”

    • a collective groan passes through the ship followed immediately by a 80′s record scratch and an echo of coran saying the word “funky” until the screen fades to black

anonymous asked:

How does Lance, Hunk, Keith & Shiro reacts to shy s/o holding their pinky with their own?

This ask is too pure for this world I am obliterated

-Admin Robin

Shiro:

  • Although Space Dad™  is a very affectionate partner, he would totally respect his s/o’s shyness and take things at their pace
  • He think’s it’s too fucking adorable like he will get this stupidass goofy smile and just chuckle at them
  • If they initiate it first he totally is like “wow yes okay interaction is good so good i wanna hold u”
  • But if he initiates it first he is super hesitant and his s/o will have to meet him halfway because he doesn’t wanna freak them out and scare them off
  • He doesn’t care, he’ll walk around the entire freaking castle like that
  • Linked Pinkies = cute
  • He thinks a shy s/o is so amazing and is constantly giving them soft smiles
  • Is 10000000% gentle with them
  • Cherish him

 Keith:

  • “hOly shit you’re hecking touching me”
  • With ur lil pinkes aw”
  • He thinks it’s so pure and if his s/o initiates it he will actually cover his eyes and steam will come out of his ears
  • He blush
  • “What in tarnation you’re so cute”
  • He is such a dork and is constantly asking his s/o “Is this okay?” or “Am I being too touchy-feely?” because the last thing he wants them to feel is uncomfortable
  • It’s so weird like he’s such a freaking cabbage-head idk he will walk into whatever room his s/o is in and go to where they are and just
  • Touch their pinky
  • He kinda is shy too because he doesn’t have much experience with relationships but he knows they’re more important to him than his sword and the Red Lion combined so he just rolls with it

Hunk:

  • This soft lil guy is so moved and like he actually raises a hand to his heart because “wow, you’re unbelievably adorable and I want to cook things for you”
  • He will totally be bashful and smile while looking away from them and just hold their pinky with his gently
  • Will walk around like this, he wants to show everyone how cute theyare
  • Is a very encouraging lover and will not push them at all in any way, shape, or form
  • He thinks linked pinkies is better than holding hands anyways
  • Does cute shit (i.e.: holds their pinky while he’s piloting)
  • “Hunk, th-this isn’t safe” “Shh- babe, just lemme hold you,”
  • Cooks for them and then as they’re snarfing down the food he’ll just lean across the kitchen island and reach for that pinky
  • One of his favorite things about his s/o is their hands so linked pinkies is neato for him!

 Lance:

  • If they initiate it he’ll look down at their hands and be all smug
  • “You just can’t seem to keep your hands off me, can’t you?” or “Babe, have some self-control, we’re in public”
  • But is actually really happy that they’re courageous enough to touch him, and grins until his face hurts
  • Once it happens once, he will hold their pinky any chance he gets, and although he respects their need to take things slow, he will eventually show them that actually holding hands is not so bad either
  • He squeals the first time it happens tho
  • Lance is the exact opposite of shy, so I can imagine that Lance having a shy partner would be a good thing; they would balance each other out nicely!
  • Takes them in Blue for a spin and is flying with one hand just so he can link pinkies with the other
  • Will link pinkies with you in the heat of battle and not even care tbh
  • Kisses their pinky aw aww
  • Loves them so damn much it hurts

anonymous asked:

In your opinion, what do you think are the breeds/colours for Crookedstar and Oakheart? And then what would their parents need to look like to make them genetically accurate?

my hc for crooked/oak is based on this pair of cats! their names are snarf and d’jango and i love them. they’re an egyptian mau & somali. idk why but ever since i saw these 2 together it just kinda cemented in my mind as crooked/oak  (source)

Top 3 ways to confuse my kids and amuse myself

#3: Replying to a random observation by turning it into a weird not-really-offensive insult, eg: 

Kid: “That’s a really loud truck.”
Me: “You’re a really loud truck.”

#2: Answering an obvious question with a ridiculous answer, eg: 

Kid: “What are you doing?” (when they can clearly see I’m washing up or something equally inane)
Me: “Polishing an elephant.”

#1: So you know ‘yo mama’ jokes? When I was a kid it devolved into people pointing at gross things and saying: “See that? That’s your mum that is”, which eventually shortened into just answering “your mum” to any random question in the vague hope it’d land as an insult (or revelling in the absurdity if it didn’t).

Eg: Q - “Where’s the remote?” A “Your mum.”

Now bear in mind my kids have no concept of any of this, but when I’m tired and bored I answer every little question with “your mum” which is doubly funny because I am, in fact, their mum.