snakes out of ireland

the signs on St. Patrick’s day

Aries: drinking buckets of green beer
Taurus: shitposting leprechaun jokes
Gemini: forgetting to wear green and drawing on themselves with a green sharpie 
Cancer: wearing head to toe green and shitting gold coins
Leo: challenging everyone to green jello shot eating contests 
Virgo: picking four leaf clovers and frolicking
Libra: preparing for the secret druid ritual which for some reason involves a bottle of Jameson 
Scorpio: the douche with the “KISS ME I’M IRISH” shirt and matching “GET LUCKY” briefs
Sagittarius: stuffed with corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes 
Capricorn: loudly singing Irish drinking songs much to everyone’s chagrin
Aquarius: “it’s not St. Patty’s it’s St. Paddy’s–”
Pisces: actually driving the snakes out of Ireland 


i just learned there is apparently a belief in some neopagan circles that st. patrick casting out the snakes from ireland, an island which has never had snakes in human history, is a metaphor for patrick converting ireland to christianity by force. the story is that patrick killed and expelled irish druids who wore snake tattoos on their arms, and this narrative later transformed into our modern version. interesting! and completely baseless, i’m afraid. the idea apparently comes from a hagiography of st. patrick that indicates patrick killed druid “wizards” with jesus magic, but none of this fits the historical record. ireland wasn’t christianized by the time of st. patrick’s death. he died in relative obscurity, in fact. the christianization of ireland, which likely was not completed until over a century after patrick’s death, was actually super peaceful compared to other places. and in the 7th and 8th centuries, by which time christianity was firmly planted in ireland, there are at least two legal texts that give druids a relatively high social ranking. all of this stands against these ideas about st. patrick as a historical villain. not to mention i can’t even find a shred of evidence for the idea that druids had snake tattoos. (and if ireland didn’t have snakes, why would they?)

saint patrick is a guy who, uh [looks at a picture of st. patrick] glowed and wanted to pinch everyone. he pinched the snakes out of ireland

Oh, no. It’s happening.

The parallels

But wait, what is that?

In Shuu’s neck…

IS THAT A SNAKE?!

It cannot be his suit obviously.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEANS?! There have been lots of references about snakes/serpents ‘til now.

.

Wait, Kanae’s birthday is Saint Pattrick’s day.

“According to tradition, Patrick returned to Ireland to convert the pagan Irish to Christianity. The Declaration says that he spent many years evangelising in the northern half of Ireland and converted “thousands”. Patrick’s efforts to convert, subjugate, and drive off the Pagans (specifically the Celts) were eventually turned into an allegory in which he drove “snakes” out of Ireland.

OH
FUCK
NO.
IS KANAE GOING TO DO SOMETHING TO SHUU?!

It wouldn’t be a surprise either tho