snake punch

who would win in a fistfight: you vs. characters from 999

ace: he would probably win due to his strength and size advantage, but you should challenge him to a fistfight anyway, just on the off chance that you win. also, he is easy to confuse if you just wear different clothes. if you do that, then you would win the fistfight handily 

snake: if you’re punching him for no reason, you would probably win since he can’t fucking see you. if you’re punching him after hurting his sister in any way, you would lose the fist fight within 0.005 seconds

santa: has a six pack and a secret gun and is very angry. you would not win in a fistfight

clover: might be small, but is full of unbridled rage at all times and will immediately sock you in the jaw without thinking first. you would not win in a fistfight

junpei: hands down, you would win a fistfight against junpei, as he is a weak and scrawny nerd. you wouldnt even have to fight him, you can just tie his shoelaces together when he’s not looking

akane: though you would almost definitely win in a fistfight against her if you’re in a timeline where she has not fought you before, she will probably just jump to another timeline after beating you and use all your tactics against you. you would probably not win in a fist fight, unless you expose her to fire, in which case you would still probably not win in the end even if you win the fistfight because she will trap you on a boat and threaten to kill you

seven: he’s a fucking cop. you would not win in a fistfight

lotus: though her big bazongas might seem to get in the way, she is actually angry constantly and is ready to punch out anyone, at any time, for any reason, especially if you threaten her. you would not win in a fistfight 

9th man: he dies if you look at him wrong. you win the fistfight with little to no effort

The Prince Thief

Part 2

Description: Virgil loves to steal things. Mostly he loves to seal people, princes to be specific. But when Virgil is caught by one prince who spares his life will everything change?

@purplepatton @theoneandonlyfangirlofpower @colie7700 @fandomsandanythingelse

@wannabepunkdude @superwaywardangel @storytellerofuntoldlegends @princey-must-slay

@virgil-must-be-angsty @patton-must-make-puns @fangirling-internally @anonymous-snake

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@bluestar584 @dusk-lunari @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @virgil-sanders-is-life-tbh


Virgil had memorized the gaurd rotation around the castle and learned that the prince did not have any guards outside his room after 8 at night. Virgil saw this as his perfect time to strike. No one to protect the prince and no one to stop him from taking the prince.

Virgil snuck in a hallway window of the castle ten minutes after 8:00pm. He look both ways down the hall before he strolled across the hall to the prince’s door. Virgil quietly pressed his ear ageist the door listening to hear if the prince was near the door. He could not hear where the prince was but decided to take a risk and enter the room.

Virgil cautiously opened he door and walked into the room. Virgil rolled his eyes at the size of the large room. Just as Virgil had finshed closing he door his was pinned ageist the door with his arms above his head and a sword at this throat. Virgil looked forward and came face to face with Prince Roman, the exact prince he was trying to capture.

“What are you doing here?” The prince asked.

Virgil stayed quiet.

“I am your prince I demand you answer me!” Prince Roman demanded.

Virgil smirked at the Prince.

The Prince pushed the sword closer to Virgil’s throat and Virgil internally thought that this was going to be his last moment. Being pinned ageist the wall by a handsome prince, he totally didn’t find this prince attractive but he was the type all the girls in the village would swoon over. Suddenly , the Prince removed the sword that was pressed agaist Virgil’s throat but did not remove his hand that was pinning Virgil’s hands above his head.

“Please, tell me what you are doing here.”

Virgil realized he was not gonna get let go till he answered. “I was gonna kidnap you.”

Prince Roman let out a hearty laugh. “Kidnap me? No one who has tried has succeeded or even left this room.”

Virgil’s breath hitched knowing that these were going to be his final moments.

The Prince let go of his grip on Virgil’s hands. “Go.” Prince Roman commanded. Virgil quickly left not looking back.

Later that week Virgil was once again on the roof outside the castle waiting for the night shift to begin. Five past 8:00 Virgil snuck into the castle once more. He this time did not stop to listen to the sounds of the room and just entered the room. Roman this time was on the other side of the room pulling a shirt on over his muscular body. Virgil stopped and stared for a moment until he snapped himself out of the  trance and focused on his original plan.

“Why did you spare me?”

Roman turned around and spotted Virgil. “I didn’t think you would come back.”

“But, why did you spare me? I broke in here and you said it yourself that you killed everyone else, why did you spare me?”

“A cute guy has never tried to kidnap me.” Prince Roman replied.

Virgil stood there shocked and unsure what to do.

“I’m sorry for being so direct but maybe you want to add some warmth to my bed tonight.”

“But-but I tried to kidnap you.”

“So? I can easily take you down. It’s not like your much of a threat. Plus you’re cute and maybe I would just let you kidnap me. The castle is boring when you are alone anyway.”

“Wouldn’t me sleeping here violate some rule?”

“You already broke rules by breaking in.”

Virgil stood shocked unsure what to say.

“Plus if you become my boyfriend it wouldn’t break any rules.”


“Paris is good. Nice call, Monsieur.”

“De nada, muchacha.”

Thank you for 100 follows! Needless to say, I miss these two real bad and I have for around six years. DC writers are pretty sadistic ya know that? Then again, I guess I might be too.

Because who has time or money to read almost 30 years of relationship development…

Under the cut: Look Over Your Shoulder, a monologue recap Fanfic: Fluff/Humor/Angst. DC Rebirth. Wally’s POV. Warning: Mention of the grief typically associated with Alzheimer’s. Also I cried while writing this. Story set to this song.

Keep reading

The Prince Thief (Part 2)

Part One

Summary: Prince Roman has a problem. A cute guy broke into his castle and stayed the night. Now Prince Patton has to help him fix it.

@purplepatton @theoneandonlyfangirlofpower @colie7700 @fandomsandanythingelse @wannabepunkdude @superwaywardangel @storytellerofuntoldlegends @princey-must-slay @virgil-must-be-angsty @patton-must-make-puns @fangirling-internally @anonymous-snake @generalofthefangirlarmy @i-just-punched-malfoy @eternal-sanders @bluestar584 @dusk-lunari @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @princeyssash @the-prince-and-the-emo

The next morning, Virgil woke up with a warm arms wrapped around him. He panicked for a moment before remembering he fell asleep in the prince’s room last night. Virgil relaxed back into the prince’s arms until there was a knock on the door. Roman quickly sat up and looked at the door and then back at Virgil.

“Go under the bed.” Roman whispered in Virgil’s ear.

“Why?” Virgil whispered back.

“You technically aren’t supposed to be here.

"But your the prince. You said it would be okay.”

“I think my advisors would beg to differ.”

The person knocked on the door once more. “Your highness are you in there?”

“Yes, please just give me a moment.”

Virgil frowned and moved underneath the bed as Roman quick fixed his bed head.

“Come in Roman called.”

The person from the other side of the door entered.

“I thought you were not suposed to disturb my sleep?” Roman replied in an authority voice.

“But this is of the utmost importance. One of the guards thought he saw someone on the roof last night and sent me to check to make sure you were here.”

“I’m here. I’m fine. Other than my beauty sleep being disturbed.”

“I would advise keeping a guard up here at night.”

“I can defend myself.”

“Your majesty, you are suposed to be sleeping and it is not possible to defend yourself while you sleep. I would really like to stress the need for a guard at least later into the night.”

Roman knew he was not going to get his advisor to budge on this. “Fine. We can station a guard out side of my room but, can you please send for Prince Patton, we have some urgent business to attend to. ”

The advisor turned and left the room. As soon as the door was shut Virgil slipped out from under the bed.

“What do you mean its okay for them to put a guard outside your room?!?” Virgil exclaimed.

“Logan, wouldn’t have stopped till I agreed.”

“I won’t be able to see you, again.”

“Fear not I had an idea.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Virgil moved to go under the bed again but Roman grabbed his wrist.

“Roman?” The voice called.

“Come in, Pat.” Roman replied.

Prince Patton walked in and noticed Virgil in his tossled black outfit that had white flecks of dust and lint on it. “What’s going on.”

“I need your help, Pat.”

“What’s going on, Ro?”

“Well, Logan is putting a guard up here at night. Which means that my friend here can’t sneak in anymore. I need a new way to get him in here.”

“Why?” Patton asked.

“Why not.”

Patton looked at Virgil. “How.”

“See you’re now asking the right questions.”

“Also would like to know what your plan is.” Virgil piped in.

“We teach you how to be a royal and bring you in as a prince who is trying to court me.”

“Where do I come in, in this plan?” Prince Patton asked.

“Your gonna teach him.”

“Can I ask a question?” Patton asked.

“Sure.” Roman replied.

“Do you know his name?”

“What?” Roman asked.

Virgil smirked at Patton which let Patton know the answer.

“You don’t know his name! How do you know you like him?”

“He had the audacity to break in here and  then came back after I threatened to kill him. ”

“You what!?!” Patton exclaimed.

“Virgil, by the way.” Virgil stated.

“What?” Patton asked.

“My name is Virgil.”

“What do I get if I help you and Virgil get together.”

“Maybe permission to go after a certain advisor.” Roman teased.

Virgil looked back and forth between the two, confused at what was going on.

“You noticed that?” Patton replied his cheeks getting a dusting of pink.

“Yes. Now, you help me and I’ll try to help you get Logan. Deal?” Roman asked.

“Deal. Come with me, Virgil. You have a lot to learn.”

“Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.”
Slytherin House

Requested by @ocheesus

anonymous asked:

So, it's canon that's Sanjay works with Talon.... ..... How do you think Symmetra is gonna take it??

breaking news: perfect gorgeous architech and former vishkar employee satya vaswani punches smarmy snake sanjay korpal in the FUCKING FACE

Chemical Reactions (Part One)

Summary: This is a Sanders Sides soulmate AU! Because im trash for soulmate AU!s both a logicality and prinxiety fic with some angst.

@purplepatton @theoneandonlyfangirlofpower @colie7700 @fandomsandanythingelse
@wannabepunkdude @superwaywardangel @storytellerofuntoldlegends @princey-must-slay
@virgil-must-be-angsty @patton-must-make-puns @anonymous-snake @generalofthefangirlarmy
@i-just-punched-malfoy @eternal-sanders @dusk-lunari

Patton had been looking forward to meeting his soul mate ever since those  little words appeared on his arm.

“Love is a mixture of chemicals in your brain.”

Patton was excited that his soul mate is so smart. But years had come and gone and still no sign of his soul mate. Patton has resigned himself to loving with his friend Roman and enduring the constant Disney marathons. Patton outside of going to his job as a daycare teacher did not leave the house much. Roman was constantly  bugging him to go out and Patton had caved this week and agreed to go out with Roman and one of his other friends.

“Patton, please stop dragging your feet.” Roman whined.

“It’s 7 am of course I’m tired.” Patton retorted offering a meak smile as theh both entered the coffee shop.

Roman walked over to a table in the back corner that had a man with a black shirt, dark blue tie, and glasses similar to Patton’s own glasses sitting at it.

“Hey, Logan. ” Roman replied sitting at the table. “Where is the friend you were gonna bring?”

“Virgil said he was not up to going out today.” Logan stated as if this was not the first time Virgil has backed out of something. “ I’m guessing this is Patton?”

Roman nodded.

“Love is a mixture of chemicals in your brain.” Logan stated.

“What?” Patton  questioned, a confused on his face, while he started to feel his wrist with the quote tingle.

“Roman, told me you believe in all this soulmate stuff. I wanted to inform you that your not necessarily predestined for one person because this is all chemicals in your brain.”

“Oh.” Patton said feeling disappointed and wanting to get away from here and away from Logan who seemed to hate the idea of soulmates.

The rest of the time, they spent hanging out with Logan, Patton remained fairly silent. Roman and Patton politely said goodbye after an hour of talking and were on their way out the door.

“You okay, Pat?” Roman asked once the two had exited the coffee shop.

“I just don’t feel that well.” Parton replied, trying to blame his sad mood on him physically not feeling well and not the tear he felt in his heart.

“You could have told me and we could have left.” Roman replied.

“Logan seemed nice. I didn’t want to ruin anything.” Patton replied a little smirk thinking about how cute Logan looked when he was talking about science and other smart things he liked.

Patton was relieved  that Roman did not notice the smile or bring it up as they entered their apartment. Patton went into his room and sat there for the rest of the day drowning out is sadness over being rejected by his soulmate with cookies and Disney movies that Roman had left in his room from their last movie marathon. Patton only left his room twice for the rest of the day when he needed to get meals. He was heartbroken and hadn’t even been in a relationship.

did you know that an anagram for speak now is snake pow because my favourite snake punched everyone in the face with its breathtaking lyrics and ethereal melodies no you didn’t know

You’re A Disappointment

Based on the ask

“14 ("you’re a dispointment”) Patton to virge cause angst is the theme in this fandom"


Everyone has been pushing Virgil around leading up to another video. Virgil can’t take it anymore and disappears. When Pattton comes and finds him it’s not what Virgil was expecting.

@purplepatton @theoneandonlyfangirlofpower @colie7700 @fandomsandanythingelse

@wannabepunkdude @superwaywardangel @storytellerofuntoldlegends @princey-must-slay

@virgil-must-be-angsty @patton-must-make-puns @fangirling-internally @anonymous-snake

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@irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @virgil-sanders-is-life-tbh @princeyssash

Virgil had had a long day. Logan had Thomas get up at an ungodly hour to start working on the new script, which meant Virgil had to start working early in the morning. The whole situation was not helped when Roman had decided to join the early morning work session. The trio and Thomas worked until noon trying to get the script to be perfect but none of the sides could agree if the script was done. At noon Thomas decided he needed to take a break to eat and from that point Virgil’s day had only gotten worse.

“Why don’t you just let Thomas wear the shirt he want for the video?” Roman demanded, as soon as Thomas was out of an earshot.

“He has worn it for the last five videos! The fans are going to notice.” Virgil shot back.

“It’s his favorite shirt. Just let him wear it,  Fearard Way.” Roman argued.

That was the final straw for Virgil after being pushed around all day.

“Fine.” Virgil replied sinking down into the mind palace leaving the other three alone.

Virgil decided that if the others didn’t want him watching out for Thomas he would just disappear again. Virgil wondered how long it would take this time for the others to notice that he had decided to duck out, again. Virgil didn’t have to wait long for that question to be answered. Six hours after leaving Roman and Logan alone with Thomas, Patton appeared in Virgil’s room.

“You’re a disappointment.” Patton declared looking at Virgil.


“You just left Thomas and he burn his finger on the pan. You’re supposed to stop him from doing stuff like that.” Patton ranted.

At that point Virgil had gone through too much today and broke down crying which caused Patton to snap out of his anger and go over and hug Virgil.

“I’m sorry.”

“Fir-rst, Roman and-and now you.” Virgil manages to say between sobs.

“Sorry, kiddo. I was just worried about Thomas.”

“I am to, but-but appar-ently I can’t.”

“Who said that?”

“Ro-man, he-he was arguing with me a-all day, abou-t  the scrip-t.”

“Don’t worry about Roman, I’ll deal with him. You just need to say Virgilent and keep Thomas safe.”

Patton sunk out of Virgil’s room and went to go have a talk with the Royal side about working with others.

actual voltron facts

one time Shiro tried to smack himself on the forehead in frustration, but forgot that he had a metal arm and gave himself a concussion

Lance tried to give Shiro a full manicure one time. The nail polish burned off the first time Shiro activated his arm, and it smelled like the literal embodiment of death itself

out of pure curiosity, Shiro once attempted to roast a marshmallow by holding it in his galra arm and activating the prosthetic for a second. it works every time. he will take this secret to his grave

he keeps trying to figure out if he can get the right heat long enough to pop popcorn with the arm. he has yet to do anything but burn it horribly. because of this, Hunk is now under the impression that Shiro is a menace to culinary, and has permanently banned him from the kitchen

this is unfortunate, because Shiro likes to bake to unwind. at the Garrison, he was that one guy in the dorms that would make cookies at 2 AM and leave them out for everyone. Keith is the only one who knows the truth, and has been bribed into silence.

during the flight to Kerberos, Matt repeatedly tried to convince Shiro to play gay chicken. Shiro firmly refused every time, mainly due to knowing damn well he would lose. horribly.

Shiro is allergic to alcohol. he gave up on going to Garrison dorm parties after his third hospitalization from spiked punch.

he would go to the parties and claim designated driver, but he never actually got a drivers license. he was too busy with classes at the Garrison to get it at first, and eventually he reached the point where he could fly a fucking rocket ship, and didn’t really care about a car

this backfired, as Matt found out on the flight to Kerberos, and permanently revoked Shiro’s rover driving privilege. he spent the entire mission riding shotgun, to his deep disgust

one time Shiro punched a snake. it was awesome.