snake punch

Betty’s a serpent

imagine betty being a serpent wife. like out at work/school all day but can put the serpents in their place 

bughead fanfiction

So I came up with this when the episode aired (like 3am my time) so here’s a fluffy fic about that. 

Also slightly A/U to the ending of the episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bell rang signalling the end of the day at Riverdale High. Betty Cooper gathered her books and headed to her locker by herself, missing the conversation she would normally have with her boyfriend Jughead Jones.

Just before FP was charged, he had managed to sign custody of Jughead over to fellow serpent Viper who promised to keep an eye on the teen. The younger Jones had also moved to Southside High and was back living at the trailer park. 

“hey betty wait up” Kevin Keller jogged to be next to her. “Archie, Ronnie and I are heading to Pop’s now, wanna come with?”

Betty shook her head as she twisted her locker combination and opened the door “Sorry Kev, I’ve got plans”

“we’ve hardly seen you in months, not after Jughead transferred. We just wana know how you’re doing” Kevin pushed on

“Really Kev I’m fine” he gave her a pointed look “I promise. I’ve just gotta help Polly with some baby things.”

“okay but next time you are so coming with us” he reached to hug her with one arm and walked away. Betty let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding and after putting away what she needed to, slammed her locker and headed out to her car. 

~

Kevin walked into Pop’s to see Archie Andrews & Veronica Lodge cosied up in their usual booth. “please no more pda or I might puke” Kevin said sitting down on the opposite side to the new couple.

Veronica shuffled slightly further from Archie “Is Betty not coming?” Kevin shook his head no. “Has anyone really spoken to her after Jughead left?” This time both boys shook their heads no. 

“What about Polly? She’d know” Archie suggested

“Betty said she’s helping Polly with baby things, that’s why she can’t come” Kevin informed

“Really?” Archie asked “cos she’s heading in here with her mom” As if on cue, the bell rang at the door and in walked the other two Cooper women. Polly looked around and waved at the trio as they both walked to a booth. 

“Hey guys” Polly said standing at the end of the booth “how are you?” she addressed them all

“We’re good, you look gorgeous Polly” Veronica replied “Is everything okay with the babies?” 

“Both are healthy and growing as normal.”

“D’you know where Betty is? She said she’d be with you” Archie interrupted. Polly looked speechless then looks to Alice who called her back to their table. “So they’re definitely hiding something” he pointed out “maybe we should visit Jughead, see what he knows.”

“Are you insane Archie? My dad told us all to stay away from the South Side” Kevin whispered loudly 

“Come on Kev” Veronica started “It’s one time. Plus you know some of the gang from Joaquin right?” Kevin nodded slowly “Right let’s go then.” The three walked out and to Archie’s car, Kevin getting into the back and Veronica the front passenger side. 

It was a short drive over to the serpents hang out which had changed since Kevin & Archie’s last visit to a shadier part of town. Daylight was fading fast and the only streetlights working were at the end of the street. Kevin was the first to spot the bar pointing it out to his friends “over there.” The three walked to a corner building with a neon light of a snake which was the serpents logo and the word Scorpion in green.

“when did they move?” Archie wondered out loud

“Just after FP was arrested, Joaquin and I came for his goodbye gathering here. One of the second-in-commands, Viper I think his name was, he and his wife bought this place and re-did it all. A fresh start of sorts.” 

They were a few doors away when the door to Scorpion opened and a man flew out and fell to the ground and Veronica let out a loud gasp. “You know your limit Eli and you know not to mess with Jug’s girl” the person lying down groaned in response. The man standing in the doorway looked out and saw the three teenagers but went back inside instead of saying anything. 

When they walked into the bar, there was a large crowd around a pool table with people placing bets with each other raising by $5 every time. The trio walked round to see Jughead pot the black ball with a trick shot which earned a mix reaction of cheers and groans. Having not spotted them yet, the boy who was donning his very own leather jacket shouted “Alright so whose next?”

“how bout we make it interesting?” A female voice said coming from the bar “both our legacies deserve to find out whose better.” 

“I’m game if you are” Jughead said to someone who was being blocked by the rest of the patrons. The group assumed the other legacy agreed as the crowd cheered.

Viper came to the table “alright, FP Junior vs Ali Junior. Place your bets, this should be fun.” 

As the crowd moved towards Viper, Jughead approached who they assumed to be Ali Junior and kissed her. Kevin gasped grabbing onto Veronica’s arm who in turn wrapped hers around Archies and they all stood back further into the shadows to blend in.

~

Jughead had approached the girl nicknamed Ali Junior and kissed her “you sure about this Bets?” 

She nodded against his forehead and kissed him again grabbing the collar of his jacket. She pulled away and whispered in a low breath “I’m so gonna kick your butt”

The wolf whistles of the serpents broken them apart “alright kids save that for later” Viper said stashing the money in his back pocket “so whose breaking off?”

Jughead looked at Betty “age before beauty of course” he replied winking

Betty shook her head smiling walking to Viper, she pressed up against her boyfriend and leaned into his ear and said “you’re so gonna get it tonight”.

The others cheered her as she grabbed the triangle to rack up the balls. The blond placed herself on the opposite side of Jughead and leaned forward to break, hoping Jughead would get distracted by her cleavage which seemed to work. The couple continued playing the game like there was no one else in the room, teasing each other and stealing kisses whenever they could until the eight ball was left. 

Neither of them had pocketed the ball in the last couple of shots so the bets went up, more betting for Jughead to win. By this point Archie, Veronica & Kevin had made their way to the front but the two still hadn’t noticed. 
The couple shared a look and Jughead nodded ever so slightly at Betty who leaned over and angled the shot so it hit two sides before ending up in the top corner pocket. Everyone cheered for the blond who had now leapt into her boyfriends arms. Viper’s wife approached the couple with two bottles of beer and whispered something to them and suddenly they looked up at their three friends.

The room went silent with everyone’s attention now focused on the three strangers. Betty who was wearing her own honorary serpent jacket grabbed Jughead’s hand for courage who rubbed his thumb on the back of hers to help calm her down. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked with her best smile on

“We could ask you the same thing Betty” Archie said looking angry “You’re with the serpents now? This is where you’ve been, with these people, instead of hanging out with your friends? Does Alice even know where you are?”

The last question caused the rest of the bar to laugh, Viper was going to speak up but Betty shook her head and replied “These people Archie, are my friends. No not just friends, family. Mine and Jughead’s.”

“Betty these people are criminals” Veronica offered

“Oh and your dad’s not?” she snapped back which earned a few whistles from the gang “Archie my mom’s a south sider, you really think I’d be here if she didn’t trust them?”

The red haired boy looked confused so Viper spoke up “Little Ali was no stranger round here, she grew up at the same trailer park too. Her and FP always getting themselves in trouble. The serpents came naturally to most people at the park, so we snapped those two up as soon as possible. When we found out our boy Jughead here was dating her daughter, we gave her Ali’s old jacket” he pointed to what Betty was wearing 

“Really Betty? Is that what happened because we can take you home if you need a ride instead of staying with the scoundrels. Please B” Veronica pushed

“Watch you’re mouth princess” the voice of another serpent who walked out from the shadows

“Don’t talk to her like that” Archie jumped in 

“Yeah? Or what?” He challenged “You gonna run and tell daddy?” Archie lunged towards the snake attempting to punch him but missed and ended up with a punch to his stomach which sent him flying backwards slightly, the other’s around cheering. 

He grabbed Archie’s jacket and had started raising his fist to punch him when he heard Jughead shout “BP don’t do it” but he raised his fist even higher until the sharp voice of one Betty Cooper cut through the crowd 

“Buster Peters Specter you put him down right now” they all moved to show Betty standing with her hands on her hips Jughead smirking behind her. 

“you got off lucky kid” BP told the boy then dropped him to the floor as Veronica and Kevin rushed to see if he was okay. The older man looked up at Betty and tipped his backwards baseball cap “sorry miss betty” who in return nodded and he walked off. Jughead helped Archie off the floor “follow us” he said as he and Betty led their friends to a room upstairs. 

Jughead unlocked the door and walked in with Betty following, Veronica spotted that the name on the door said Cooper-Jones and showed it to Archie and Kevin behind her. Inside had a large desk which was covered with then teenagers homework, two laptops (one on each end of the desk), a filing cabinet and a three person sofa which was against the side wall, above was a photo of the couple with a white dog. Betty sat down behind the desk with Jughead leaning against the wall behind her.

“Sorry about BP, he’s very” Betty looked to Jughead for the right word

“Protective” he offered “always has been” Veronica scoffed 

“It’s true!” Betty insisted “he’s the oldest of five, his parents were’t really around so he basically raised his siblings himself so he prides himself on family. I’ll get him to apologize to you Arch.”

“What about you Bets? What about your family?”

“Jughead and the serpents are my family Arch. Mom and Polly know I’m here, dad knows I’m safe here”

“Safe?” Veronica exclaimed “these people are dangerous. Just look at Jughead’s dad”

“Don’t bring FP into this, your dad isn’t a saint either Veronica” Betty bit back

“Listen guys, I didn’t come here to fight” Kevin interrupted “Betty are you happy?” 

She looked at Jughead wearing a big smile and nodded “more than ever”

“In that case” Kevin continued “WE are very happy for you, aren’t we?”

Archie & Veronica looked defeated and nodded before Veronica added looking at Jughead “but if you ever do anything to hurt my girl, you’ll be sorry.”

“Don’t worry” Betty laughed “the serpents would get to him first. they like me better” which made the room laugh.

“What’s with the Cooper-Jones sign?” Archie wondered 

The couple looked between them before Betty pulled out a necklace with a silver ring on it. “Jughead proposed last month”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Should I continue?

UPDATED: (PART 2 HERE) (PART 3 HERE) (PART 4 HERE)

who would win in a fistfight: you vs. characters from 999

ace: he would probably win due to his strength and size advantage, but you should challenge him to a fistfight anyway, just on the off chance that you win. also, he is easy to confuse if you just wear different clothes. if you do that, then you would win the fistfight handily 

snake: if you’re punching him for no reason, you would probably win since he can’t fucking see you. if you’re punching him after hurting his sister in any way, you would lose the fist fight within 0.005 seconds

santa: has a six pack and a secret gun and is very angry. you would not win in a fistfight

clover: might be small, but is full of unbridled rage at all times and will immediately sock you in the jaw without thinking first. you would not win in a fistfight

junpei: hands down, you would win a fistfight against junpei, as he is a weak and scrawny nerd. you wouldnt even have to fight him, you can just tie his shoelaces together when he’s not looking

akane: though you would almost definitely win in a fistfight against her if you’re in a timeline where she has not fought you before, she will probably just jump to another timeline after beating you and use all your tactics against you. you would probably not win in a fist fight, unless you expose her to fire, in which case you would still probably not win in the end even if you win the fistfight because she will trap you on a boat and threaten to kill you

seven: he’s a fucking cop. you would not win in a fistfight

lotus: though her big bazongas might seem to get in the way, she is actually angry constantly and is ready to punch out anyone, at any time, for any reason, especially if you threaten her. you would not win in a fistfight 

9th man: he dies if you look at him wrong. you win the fistfight with little to no effort

“Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.”
-
Slytherin House

Requested by @ocheesus

actual voltron facts

one time Shiro tried to smack himself on the forehead in frustration, but forgot that he had a metal arm and gave himself a concussion

Lance tried to give Shiro a full manicure one time. The nail polish burned off the first time Shiro activated his arm, and it smelled like the literal embodiment of death itself

out of pure curiosity, Shiro once attempted to roast a marshmallow by holding it in his galra arm and activating the prosthetic for a second. it works every time. he will take this secret to his grave

he keeps trying to figure out if he can get the right heat long enough to pop popcorn with the arm. he has yet to do anything but burn it horribly. because of this, Hunk is now under the impression that Shiro is a menace to culinary, and has permanently banned him from the kitchen

this is unfortunate, because Shiro likes to bake to unwind. at the Garrison, he was that one guy in the dorms that would make cookies at 2 AM and leave them out for everyone. Keith is the only one who knows the truth, and has been bribed into silence.

during the flight to Kerberos, Matt repeatedly tried to convince Shiro to play gay chicken. Shiro firmly refused every time, mainly due to knowing damn well he would lose. horribly.

Shiro is allergic to alcohol. he gave up on going to Garrison dorm parties after his third hospitalization from spiked punch.

he would go to the parties and claim designated driver, but he never actually got a drivers license. he was too busy with classes at the Garrison to get it at first, and eventually he reached the point where he could fly a fucking rocket ship, and didn’t really care about a car

this backfired, as Matt found out on the flight to Kerberos, and permanently revoked Shiro’s rover driving privilege. he spent the entire mission riding shotgun, to his deep disgust

one time Shiro punched a snake. it was awesome.

4

“Paris is good. Nice call, Monsieur.”

“De nada, muchacha.”

Thank you for 100 follows! Needless to say, I miss these two real bad and I have for around six years. DC writers are pretty sadistic ya know that? Then again, I guess I might be too.

Because who has time or money to read almost 30 years of relationship development…

Under the cut: Look Over Your Shoulder, a monologue recap Fanfic: Fluff/Humor/Angst. DC Rebirth. Wally’s POV. Warning: Mention of the grief typically associated with Alzheimer’s. Also I cried while writing this. Story set to this song.

Keep reading

Why Thanos is cooler than Darkseid

Both Thanos and Darkseid are craggy faced, megalomaniac outer space bad guys who are intergalactic menaces. The two characters are compared often, and to me, it’s not even a contest: Thanos, the “Mad God,” is the more frightening, the more intimidating, the more fearsome, the more complex, the more intriguing, and is featured in way better stories. And it doesn’t surprise me in the least Thanos would make it to the big screen ahead of Darkseid.

Sure, Darkseid came first (but not by much), but as with everything in life, it’s not who does it first, but who does it right. Ideas are nothing, execution is everything.

A lot of the arguments by people who say Darkseid is more interesting boil it down to “well, Jack Kirby is more influential and a bigger deal than Jim Starlin.” Even if that is true, it says nothing about which of these two characters is more interesting.


Thanos has a more intriguing motivation and origin.

Thanos is a nihilist in love with Death herself, who wants to give his Dark Lady the universe. Darkseid, on the other hand, wants to solve a math problem.

Beyond that, Thanos has a far more interesting psychology at work. He’s terrifying for a reason Darkseid isn’t. Darkseid is an authoritarian dictator who wants control. Thanos, on the other hand, has a cold, crystalline commitment to nihilism and death terrifying to any rational being. He commits genocide because he is philosophically opposed to life: he views it as a disease in a dead universe. He kills because death is beautiful, and life isn’t worth living. Thanos tears out grass because its life is hideous to him; the ground would be more beautiful dead and cold. He wants to destroy life on Earth and other planets because our world is far worse off than quiet, crystalline, barren worlds like Mars, Mercury, and the Moon. Thanos proved his commitment to this idea in a cold, personal way: he killed his own mother.

In short, Thanos is terrifying because of the way he thinks, not just because he can shoot scary eye lasers.

Thanos’s origin is eerie and poetic: Death appeared to Thanos as a young man, a woman so beautiful she made other women look like horrible hags. To win her over, Thanos wants to present the Universe as a gift to her. It’s like something out of Herman Hesse or Ingmar Bergmann, magical realism you’re not sure if it really happened or if what we just saw was a metaphor.

There’s also an element of pathos in Thanos’s motivation, too: no matter what he does to honor Death, she doesn’t give him the time of day. Thus far, Death has barely even spoken to him. No matter how many successes he has or how many triumphs he has. Even when Thanos tried to get over Death and form his own evil Pantheon of Gods in Avengers: Celestial Quest, you could tell he hadn’t gotten over her and his behavior was upping the ante overcompensation.


Thanos has a sense of humor and dry wit.

Voltaire said, “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” Thanos is very much the same way: one of the most amusing things about the character is how his dry humor is wasted on people terrified of him.

For instance, remember in the Avengers movie when, after being told the Avengers “court death,” he gave a wry, dark smile? Is it even conceivable for Darkseid to appreciate wit or wordplay like that?

Or, remember this interaction in Dan Slott’s She-Hulk?

“You’re the Mad Titan. You bring death, pain, and destruction wherever you go.”

“I see my reputation precedes me.”

Thanos even got off a bit of sly mockery there due to his respect for his enemy, Captain Marvel.

Oh, that brings me to my next point…


Thanos had respect for his greatest enemies.

Even Doctor Doom, for all his nobility, thinks of Reed Richards as a less talented clown.

Thanos, on the other hand, appeared to Captain Marvel as he was dying from cancer to actually HELP him accept the inevitable, feel no fear, and pass into another world. He even showed up in Captain Marvel’s mind to fight him, simply because he felt someone like Captain Marvel, dying of cancer, deserved to go down fighting. This wasn’t some evil plan of his; Thanos showed up to ease Mar-Vell into dying at peace because he wanted to help.

So great was Thanos’s respect for Captain Marvel, he was horrified to see Quasar become Mar-Vell’s replacement and pretender, and beat him pretty brutally for it.

Likewise, Thanos helped his other great enemy, Adam Warlock in the Infinity Watch against the power of the Magus.


Thanos actually came much closer to winning. 

Thanos is a much more effective villain because he not only obtained infinite power once, but several times. In the first Thanos War, he obtained the Cosmic Cube, and all of reality was his plaything. Not only that, but in the Infinity Gauntlet, he obtained the Infinity Gems. Among other things, he killed one out of every four life forms everywhere in the entire universe just to make a point (someone wished them back later, but what a gesture).

All this was not only in-continuity, but in some of Marvel’s most important stories.


Thanos is saved for special occasions instead of being an “everyday” baddie. 

Marvel treats Thanos the way Doctor Who treats the Daleks: they only come out when they aren’t messing around, for big, world-shaking stories that are of great importance. Thanos is never used gratuitously, and certainly isn’t overused, something that can be said about Darkseid.

Because he’s (for the most part) saved for special occasions, Thanos is a lot more intimidating and fearsome. His defeats are usually not due to some clever plan, but by heroes exploiting a part of his psychology. Perhaps because Thanos has a much more lively inner life than Darkseid, it’s interesting to note it’s implied part of the reason Thanos lost was because of his own inner doubt; he’s uncomfortable with totally winning. In short, nobody really beats Thanos except Thanos.


Thanos is always drawn dynamically. Darkseid is always sitting in a chair.

There is a tumblr that is nothing but images of Darkseid sitting on a couch.

Thanos’s poses, on the other hand, suggested confidence, megalomania, and arrogance. And Thanos certainly never stands around with his hands behind his back looking bored.


Thanos stories could only star Thanos. Darkseid stories could be rewritten to star anybody.

Stories about Thanos usually have the following key characteristics: 

  • Thanos finds some way to obtain infinite power in the depths of space, and he obtains it with help of 1) cultists, 2) a space armada, and 3)
  • Thanos achieves his goal, and defeats all the heroes who oppose him including his family members, but some quirk of his psychology, his own self-hatred and refusal to allow total victory, leaves him open to being defeated if a hero figures it out.
  • Death still won’t talk to him even after all that.

A Thanos story can only be rewritten to be about Thanos.

Darkseid, on the other hand, with his vague, power-hungry psychology and less complex authoritarian desire for total control, has been the subject of numerous stories where he can be swapped out for another character without a problem. Great Darkness in Legion of Superheroes could have been about (say) Nekron with very little alteration. In fact, one story, War of the Gods, a crossover that memorably featured Superman punching the snake god Kukulkan in the face over Mexico City, ended with a bait and switch where everyone was led to believe Darkseid was at fault, only to reveal it was really Wonder Woman’s enemy, Aries. The shocking thing is how well this worked; you could swap Darkseid out for another bad guy in evil black armor and not change much.

In the end, this crucial difference seems to summarize the distinction between the two characters. Thanos is a dynamic character with a vivid inner life and Darkseid does the same thing over and over. As a result of lessons he learned in battle with Akhenaten in Marvel’s The End, Thanos found conquest and destruction inherently futile, a realization that’s been with the character ever since, for example.

When asked who is more interesting, it’s no contest.

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