snake punch

“Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.”
-
Slytherin House

Requested by @ocheesus

I feel like Newt’s masculinity/bad-ass manlyness is sometimes squashed in this fandom and people often portray him as feminine in fanfiction and klunk so I figured I’d make a list of examples of his bad-assery:

  • Thomas mentions multiple times throughout the books how strong Newt is 
    • He (Newt) reached down and helped Thomas to his feet - he was so strong it felt like he could rip Thomas’s arm off.” -TMR pg. 36
    • “Veins stuck out of his muscled arms” -TMR pg. 9
  • When Thomas got shot by a launcher Newt casually picked him up and chucked him onto the berg like nbd
  • he straight-faced suggested to Thomas that he get stung on purpose
  • “Newt slowly walked over to Minho and stopped in front of him. Then, quick as a striking snake, he punched him in the face. Minho staggered back and slammed into the empty weapons rack.” -TDC pg. 69
  • He survived the Scorch with a bum leg that probably hurt like hell the whole time
  • he’s an intense mother fucker don’t tell me otherwise
The signs as Johnny Jhonny quotes
  • Aries: "I punched a snake once."
  • Taurus: "Thug lyfe!"
  • Gemini: "I just seen some freaky sights yo!"
  • Cancer: "Thanks for keeping me people, bro."
  • Leo: "I'll pass a fist through your face."
  • Virgo: "I forget where I was going with this but the takeaway is your parents don't love each other."
  • Libra: "Well, well, well, well well well well well wellwellwellwellwellwellwell."
  • Scorpio: "All roads lead to Rome... But we ain't going to Rome."
  • Sagittarius: "On a scale of yes to no: yes."
  • Capricorn: "I just like to say drug because it disappoints society!"
  • Aquarius: "What the punch was that?"
  • Pisces: "Oh, this ain't blood. My Impakt Krimson Deluxe Hair Dye liquefies upon collision for easy post-tussle reapplication."
vimeo

Snaaaaaake