smothering me

OT3 goodness
  • We specifically bought this mini-van instead of a car because it has three seats in the font but now all we do is argue about who gets to sit in the middle
  • Our group chat is mostly just Person A serenading the both of us with song lyrics and dirty messages oh my god this fucking dork…oh shit now I’m kinda aroused one of you fuckers meet me for lunch asap
  • We all tried to spit our toothpaste in the sink at the same time and ended up banging our heads together and communicating in unintelligible noises due to having too much fucking toothpaste in our mouths oh my god will one you just spit first I’m so tired I want to go to bed
  • Person A always sleeps in the middle because they are the smallest but that also means that sometimes they end up like a whole half of the way down the bed by morning and more than once now we’ve both been terrified we accidentally suffocated them in the night
  • Person B is literally so fucking ticklish and we tickle-attack them so often that we think they might actually secretly hate us and have plans to leave us
  • Your parents are super supportive of our relationship which is really nice but every year your mom knits us three matching Christmas sweaters and we have no choice but to wear them and now the entire extended family knows we’re all together and it can get kinda awkward at times but oh well I love you both so much, hey Person A show us your childhood bedroom
  • I SWEAR I HAVEN’T WORN A PAIR OF MY OWN UNDERWEAR IN OVER A YEAR THERE IS JUST SO MUCH FUCKING UNDERWEAR IN THIS HOUSEHOLD GODDAMN
  • You and I were innocently making out but then I got aroused and so did you but we knew Person C would be home literally any minute so we just decided to wait for them at which point they walked through the door and took one look at our faces and realized exactly what was going on before sighing at us disappointingly and taking off their shirt
  • You two are such trouble-makers and I am literally cleaning up after you 24/7 please be adults for like one second and no both of you simultaneously smothering me in neck kisses isn’t going to make me less mad….but carry on anyways

The Wayne Family Reads Mean Tweets

Bruce
@jtodd: Bruce Wayne could stand to lose a few pounds and stop eating his kids cookies

@tdrake: Does @BruceWayne adopt children or collect them?

@therealwayneheir: Everytime I turn around Bruce Wayne has a new kid, does he not love his real son?

@FlyingDick: BRUCE WAYNE IS MEAN

@hackerbabs: Last week at a gala @BruceWayne frantically asked Commissioner Gordon to borrow his handcuffs then disappeared for the rest of the night #50shadesofwayne

@lukefoxxx: Bruce Wayne has the IQ of a grilled cheese sandwich

Bruce sighs.

Dick
@tdrake: I’m pretty sure that @FlyingDick gave as much thought to his Twitter handle as he did to that mullet he had a few years back.

@RadicalRebel: Dick Grayson looks like the kind of guy you want to be friends with until you meet him.

@teatam: I once saw Dick Grayson date 5 different redheads in one week #easyD #gingeraddict

Tim
@jtodd: I want to punch Tim Drake-Wayne in his man bun wearing head.

@Coffeecollective: Tim Drake Wayne looks like death warmed over in a Kerig #Idstilldrinkhim #takeafuckinsipbabes

@therealwayneheir: If I could push Tim Drake down the stairs and get away with it, I would. In fact I still might.

@inaflash: Tim Drake looks like the last time he slept was roughly 40 years ago. #getsomesleep

Tim looks over his shoulder, “Steph why are you here you’re not a Wayne.”

"NEITHER ARE YOU! Let me read a tweet”

@SpoilerAlert: I bet Tim Drake is the kind of guy you want to date and then he turns out to be the wooorst and like falls asleep during a date while on a ferris wheel

“Wow, that’s not specific at all…”

Cassandra
@stayoutofgotham: Cassandra Cain looks like she could kill me with her pinky toe… and I’d let her.

@SpoilerAlert: One time Cass Cain kicked my ass. It was hot.

@MetropolisRulez: I’m pretty sure Cassandra Cain is a stuck up bitch. Have you ever seen her smile at anyone outside her family.

Cass looks directly into the camera and flips it off with a big smile on her face. Bruce comes in and turns the camera away from her. You can hear him saying “Dick why did you convince me this was a good idea? Damian’s taking his knives out and Cass is too good for this.”

Jason
@xmenrock: Jason Todd looks like he got beat up in high school and then put on 50 pounds of muscle to compensate

@MrJay: Didn’t Jason Todd die? Can we make that happen again?

@tdrake: Jason Todd’s thighs™

Wait… Tim Tweeted that?

@harpersarrow: I’d let Jason Todd smother me with his thick ass thighs. #thickthighssavelives

Jason winks

Damian
@tdrake: Damian Wayne looks like his name sake from The Omen. Like did Bruce Wayne know his son was gonna be a psychopath?

@jtodd: Damian Wayne doesn’t lift #youresmallbro

@itsduke: Damian Wayne must take after his dad, except instead of people he collects animals… since people can’t stand to be around him

 Bruce comes into the studio and hauls Damian over his shoulder. You can hear Jason say, “Wow you really are small D, do you even lift?”

Written with the help of the always amazing @smokesforwolves

a witchy masterpost [updating 2]

this is my masterpost of all things witchy, and i’ll be adding stuff whenever i find something to add to this post, so it’ll slowly grow to be my ultimate witchy masterpost.  

Spells

a

  • a calming spell for back to school
  • acne aid
  • all purpose healing amulet
  • anti anxiety jar
  • anti-anxiety smelling salts
  • anti-anxiety sock
  • anti-nightmare pouch
  • anti-stress/anxiety bottle

b

  • badass bitch spell
  • basic sleep spell
  • be a better writer spell bag
  • blessed balm spell
  • “boys will love me” romance spell
  • brain bleach - spell to remove unpleasant thoughts
  • brew for you
  • busy bee’s overworked pick me up spell

c

  • cat blessing
  • cheap invisibility spells for anxious witches
  • charm to invoke new love
  • chilling out
  • cleansing spray
  • clear acne
  • connie’s strength and resolve spell

d

  • depression healing from the sun spell
  • diy magic shower disks
  • “do the thing” bottle

e

  • ease heartache
  • energy drink overcharge

f

  • find a true friend
  • for forgetting
  • free yourself from anger
  • friendship mix
  • fuck you, im a pirate today: confidence spell

g

  • gender clarity spell
  • get rid of a headache
  • getting that new years eve kiss
  • “goodnight, sleep tight” sleep-aid satchel
  • graycloak’s gambling powder

h

  • hair color change
  • happiness enchantment
  • healing spells 
  • heal a sore throat
  • heal a tree
  • healing a sore throat potion
  • help bring good luck
  • home protection charm
  • honey jar - for happiness and fortune

i

  • i wash my troubles down
  • ice binding method
  • inner strength jar

k

  • knitting spell (for protection)
  • the krakens tentacles (binding spell)

l

  • letting go banishing spell
  • love bottle charm
  • love blend

m

  • make another happy
  • mama cat’s “evil eye” protection jar
  • money drawing bottle
  • morning after a bad dream spell
  • motivation

p

  • past life spell
  • personal productivity spell
  • positive energy spell
  • powder to repeal an unwanted lover
  • push start to continue
  • promote happiness 
  • protection amulet
  • protection chant by clara
  • protection spell for when coming out as trans
  • protective stone

r

  • “restful sleep” charm bag
  • removal of the evil eye
  • a ring spell for lasting love and marriage

s

  • sachet ideas for attracting love
  • save a penny spell
  • sea witch bath
  • sea witch’s intuition jar spell
  • settle your mind spell
  • short calming ritual
  • simple shower pick me up
  • smother anger
  • spell for artists and craftsmen
  • spell to enchant a sweater
  • spell to make someone fuck off
  • strengthen your third eye
  • study buddy charm/test taking charm
  • summon a storm spell
  • sweet speech lip balm

t

  • talisman of protection
  • to find a lost object
  • tough as a nail, sharp as a thorn - protection spell
  • transgender/nonbinary/intersex magic burn bottle with a bunch of uses 

u

  • unleash your power potion

v

  • vanilla candle spell

w

  • wealth-drawing dragon bath
  • world’s come to an end spell

Spell bundles 

  • anti-anxiety
  • love
  • protection
  • purification
  • wealth

Glamours

  • attraction oil
  • everyday enchantments: accessory edition
  • for going unseen
  • glamour bottle to influence how others read you
  • goddess glamour bath
  • gossip stopping scrub
  • love scrub
  • making your room magical
  • mirror mirror on the wall - glamour spell
  • witch of the waste’s glamour - enchanted jewelry spell

Cursing

  • the bottom of the ocean
  • button eyes
  • curse for abusers
  • curse jar
  • cursing 101
  • hand witch curse
  • hazy smog hex
  • gentle curse
  • “live long and prosper” curse
  • paper poppet
  • self-care after cursing
  • slaughtering a friendship*
  • so you think you’ve been cursed

Divination

Witchy tips

Astrology Masterpost!!

Budgeted Witchcraft

  • 10 witchy tips
  • budgeted witchcraft supplies master post
  • treat yo self, broke witch style

Candles/Essential Oil/Incense

  • 31 diy candles
  • candles and their meanings
  • candle colors
  • candle magic omens
  • candle making tutorials
  • essential healing salve recipes
  • essential oil safety
  • hearth and home incense
  • incenses by use
  • the meaning of incense smoke
  • when to use which incense

Cleansing

  • cleansing and charging
  • methods of cleansing
  • the magical home
  • warding a room

Crystals

  • 5 crystals for a small business owner
  • crystal care
  • crystal charger
  • crystals for anxiety/panic attacks
  • crystals for socially anxious witches
  • crystals for psychic development
  • crystal magic 101
  • crystal prescriptions
  • crystals, stone, and minerals guide
  • crystals/stones and their physical and mental powers
  • gem stone meanings
  • mineral monday
  • stones and their properties
  • stones and crystals

Deities and Spirits

  • determining between good and bad spirits
  • hades and persephone resources
  • hellenic polytheism 101 (mini masterpost)
  • hellenic polytheism 200- weddings
  • how to communicate with spirits, gods, and the unseen 
  • introduction to the underworld…
  • make yourself more sensitive to spirits/non physical entities
  • mermaid offerings
  • mini deity masterpost
  • online temple for nyx
  • personal relationship with spirits and deities
  • underworld deities guide

Energy

  • energy work masterpost
  • grounding
  • learning to sense energy
  • shielding masterpost

Familiars

  • is this my familiar?

Herbs

  • 10 herbs for the lazy witch
  • 20 household herbs and their magical uses
  • autumnal witchcraft
  • cool site
  • herbal sleep and dream pillows
  • homemade floral water
  • green salt
  • if you use herbs in practice
  • mama cat’s beginner witch garden
  • starter herbs
  • what belongs in your witches brew
  • wolfsbane in witchcraft

Holidays

  • celebrate mason
  • celebrate yule
  • five (5) easy yule decorations
  • stovetop incense for samhain
  • winter sabbat wine

Sigils

  • charging sigils
  • guys!! help @pantheism
  • how to charge sigils
  • how to make sigils [@the-darkest-of-lights]
  • how to make sigils [@themooniswatchingoverus]
  • how to use your phone keyboard to make sigils
  • ideas for where to put amulets and sigils for protection
  • some sigils
  • sigil everything!
  • sigil guide
  • spell and sigil directory
  • sigil masterpost

Spells

  • 50 simple charms
  • bath magic - where to begin
  • circle safety
  • cleansing/purification spells
  • important for spell success
  • lush holiday 2015 bath magic
  • masterpost magic for anxiety/depression
  • paper poppet
  • please recreate this bath
  • self care spells
  • spell and sigil directory
  • spells for finals week
  • spells for trans and non binary folk
  • what spells are strongest with the moons
  • writing a spell in 7 steps

Resources

  • adhd focus
  • apps for witches
  • back to school magic
  • beginner witchcraft
  • beginner witchcraft resources master post
  • how to do witchcraft research
  • limited witchcraft masterpost
  • myelectisism’s witch supplies masterpost
  • non wiccan resources
  • resources a new witch needs
  • secular witchcraft resource master post
  • sourcing supplies
  • using songs to make magic
  • urban witch kit
  • where to get supplies
  • witchcraft resources galore
  • witchy books masterpost
  • witchy links masterpost
  • 9 easy to find ingredients that every aspiring witch needs

Teas

  • dei-teas: tea rece for offering to hera
  • tea spells
  • winter sore throat “tea”
  • witch tea: going to class

Techno Witches

  • techno pagan tip

Tips

  • 9 practical tips for new witches
  • tips for the college hedge witch
  • tips for the college green witch
  • witches on a budget

Types of Magic//Magick

  • green witchcraft resources
  • green witch tips
  • how to develop your craft
  • lavenderwhisp’s witch type masterpost
  • makeup magick
  • the phases of the moon + magick
  • practical witchery
  • a sea witch’s guide to seashells
  • water magic master post
  • witch type masterpost
  • types of witches that often go unheard of

Other

  • book-binding tutorial
  • charm making 101
  • expanded moon phase cheat sheet
  • getting spiritually unstuck
  • hypothetical routines for bby witches
  • magical ambiance
  • making coffee magickal
  • secret witch tips - x
  • simple visualization exercises
  • the crossroads
  • wands
  • a witch’s full moon traditions
  • witch podcast
  • witch tip - x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x  x
  • witchy tips for artists
  • witchy things to do for a child
  • witchy things to do for a pet

Masterposts

  • self care masterpost
  • shadow work masterpost
  • tari’s spellbook masterpost

*Couldn’t find the original source

LINKIN PARK MEME.  Rest in peace, Chester Bennington. Your talent and wonderful personality gave so many people so much hope during their darkest of times, and you will be forever missed.

PAPERCUT.

  • Why does it feel like night today?
  • Why am I so uptight today?
  • Paranoia is all I got left.
  • I know what it feels like to have a voice in the back of my head.
  • It’s like I’m paranoid lookin’ over my back.
  • It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head.
  • It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within.
  • Your paranoia’s probably worse.
  • I don’t know what set me off first.

ONE STEP CLOSER.

  • I cannot take this anymore.
  • I find bliss in ignorance.
  • I’m about to break.
  • I need a little room to breathe.
  • I’m one step closer to the edge.
  • I wish I could find a way to disappear.
  • Shut up when I’m talking to you.

POINTS OF AUTHORITY.

  • Forfeit the game.
  • You can’t run the race.
  • You just won’t last.
  • You love the way I look at you.
  • My pride is broken.
  • You like to think you’re never wrong.
  • You live with what you’ve learned.
  • You have to act like you’re someone.
  • You want someone to hurt like you.

CRAWLING.

  • These wounds they will not heal.
  • There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.
  • This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending.
  • My walls are closing in.
  • I’ve felt this way before.

IN THE END.

  • It doesn’t even matter how hard you try.
  • Time is a valuable thing.
  • I wasted it all just to watch you go.
  • I kept everything inside.
  • Even though I tried, it all fell apart.
  • I tried so hard and got so far.
  • In the end? It doesn’t even matter.
  • I had to fall to lose it all.
  • You’re acting like I was part of your property.
  • You fought with me.
  • Things aren’t the way they were before.
  • You wouldn’t even recognise me anymore.
  • I’ve put my trust in you.

MY DECEMBER.

  • I just wish I didn’t feel.
  • I take back all the things I said.
  • I’d give it all away just to have somewhere to go.
  • I’d give it all away just to have someone to come home to.
  • This is all I need.

BREAKING THE HABIT.

  • Memories consume like an opening wound.
  • You all assume I’m safe here.
  • I don’t want to be the one.
  • I’m the one confused.
  • I don’t know what’s worth fighting for.
  • I don’t know why I instigate and say what I don’t mean.
  • I don’t know how I got this way.
  • I know it’s not alright.
  • I had no options left.
  • I’m the one at fault.
  • I’ll never fight again.
  • This is how it ends.

NUMB.

  • I’m tired of being what you want me to be.
  • I don’t know what you’re expecting of me.
  • I’m under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
  • Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
  • I’ve become so numb.
  • I can’t feel you there.
  • All I want is to be more like me and be less like you.
  • Can’t you see that you’re smothering me?
  • Everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you.
  • I may end up failing.
  • You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST.

  • I dreamed I was missing.
  • You were so scared.
  • No one would listen because no one else cared.
  • What am I leaving when I’m done here?
  • Forget the wrong that I’ve done.
  • Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.
  • Don’t resent me.
  • Keep me in your memory.
  • Don’t be afraid.
  • I’ve taken my beating.
  • I’m strong on the surface.
  • I’ve never been perfect.
  • I’ve never been perfect, but neither have you.
  • Save me from myself.

SHADOW OF THE DAY.

  • Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
  • Sometimes goodbye’s the only way.
  • The sun will set for you.
  • Your friends all plead for you to stay.
  • Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.

WHAT I’VE DONE.

  • There’s no need.
  • I’ve drawn regret from the truth.
  • Let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done.
  • Let go of what I’ve done.
  • I’m forgiving what I’ve done.

FAINT.

  • I said goodbye.
  • All I could think was I need a way to dig through the damage.
  • I see you takin’ advantage.
  • I found another reason to do this.
  • I wanna find a way to rattle you.
  • I’m not done.
  • There’s nothing left.
  • Darkness turned to light.
The signs as Sylvia Plath quotes
  • Aries: “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously near to wanting nothing.”
  • Taurus: “Would it be too childish of me to say: I want? But I do want: theater, light, color, paintings, wine and wonder.”
  • Gemini: “What is my life for and what am I going to do with it? I don’t know and I’m afraid. I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want.”
  • Cancer: “How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.”
  • Leo: “Frustrated? Yes. Why? Because it is impossible for me to be God—”
  • Virgo: “What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle-age.”
  • Libra: “I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me.”
  • Scorpio: “I’m dramatic and sloppily semi-cynical and semi-sentimental.”
  • Sagittarius: “Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night…”
  • Capricorn: “Nothing is real except the present, and already, I feel the weight of centuries smothering me.”
  • Aquarius: “Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren’t having any of those.”
  • Pisces: “It seems to me more than ever that I am a victim of introspection.”
Writing is Hard, part 7: The Shower

Summary: Dean doesnโ€™t appreciate the story you write about your first time.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Warning: Smut, awkward sex gone wrong (but it gets fixed!)

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. Iโ€™m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


Itโ€™s a little sweaty when you wake up. Deanโ€™s on his stomach with his face turned away from you, snoring a tiny bit, his body sprawling over the king-sized bed and leaving you curled up in one tiny little corner.

He does look good, though. The sunlight canโ€™t get through the curtains, but you left a lamp on, and the muscles of his back are all exposed in the dim light. You lean up to get a better view and appreciate him fully, and instantly groan. Your muscles hurt. Apparently, youโ€™ve been curled up in knots all night, and you desperately need to stretch out.

Keep reading

emsiecat  asked:

Started thinking about all those deleted and implied Bagginshield scenes and now can't stop. For a lil prompt then, what about your take on that scene where Thorin is frantically trying to find Bilbo when they get to the shore in the barrels and what happens after that?

When they clear the river rapids, and there are no signs of elves or orcs along the bank, Thorin signals the rest of the company towards the shore. Several of them spill out of the barrels as soon as they can, none too eager to stay in the water longer than necessary. 

Dwarves sink like stones. 

Luckily, the water isn’t terribly deep and they can wade over the shore. Thorin scans the company. The rush of the escape from the elves and orcs had meant he hadn’t been able to keep an eye on everyone. 

His nephews are helping each other onto the shore, Dori and Dwalin are practically dragging Ori from the water and… 

Panic seizes in Thorin’s chest. He spins around in the water. 

Where is Bilbo? 

He’d been clinging to a barrel the last time Thorin had seen him. He hadn’t been in a barrel like the rest. He’s desperate as he stumbles through the water and shouts for Bilbo. 

What if he’s been swept away or Thorin is too late? Or if he’d been caught up in the fight? 

His worry is alleviated when he finds Bilbo struggling in the water, not too far from them. He scoops the hobbit up out of the water. 

Bilbo yelps and nearly kicks him. 

“Thorin!” He says, relief in his voice. 

Thorin pulls Bilbo against his chest, holding him tightly. There is no sense in questioning the relief in his chest, far stronger than seeing his own nephews safe upon the shore. He knows it. 

Bilb pats a hand awkwardly against his chest. 

“Ah, um,” Bilbo says into Thorin’s chest, “we should get back to the others?” 

“Aye,” Thorin agrees and turns around, wading back down the river. It is calm enough that he can easily make their way back. 

Bilbo clears his throat. “Please, put me down, Thorin. I am not a faunt.” 

Thorin struggles with the idea of putting Bilbo back into the water but he relents. Bilbo is no child, after all.. 

With Bilbo on his feet, though he himself looks conflicted by the river, they wade back towards the shore first. From here, Thorin can see the company as they try drying off their waterlogged person. 

Bilbo grimaces and then sneezes. Several times. 

Thorin rests his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder as they approach the company. 

“Do you wish for your handkerchief, Master Baggins?” 

Bilbo glares at him, but there’s a hint of a smile playing on his face.