smoothe criminal

the bank job/crime & punishment

alright. let me start off by saying i’m sitting here with a cup of tea because i think i’m in shock. ugh. like last week, i’ve just bulletpointed again because so much happened and i’m sorry for the language and the amount of capitals but i wrote this in real time watching the episodes and they have messed me up man. if u guys wanna share thoughts with me or ask questions pls do because we’re all in this together(i luv hsm). here we go.

the bank job:

  • “do i even have quads?”
  • rosa looked so funny “wagging her tail” with a serious look on her face
  • “if my desk phone rings just ignore it i don’t answer it anyway”
  • THEY MET UP WITH HOLT IN A CAR WASH WHAT THE HELL Y’ALL COULD HAVE JUST GONE TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE
  • “she’s a smooth criminal, M.J, RIP”
  • adrien pimento king of casual one liners, case in point: “i won’t do kids, that’s a rule. but that rule is negotiable if the kid’s a dick”
  • amy is honestly the least subtle person when she’s trying to be chill i luv her
  • “come on fetus, let’s bounce" 
  • ok but like…jake beating up pimento did things to me like not to be out of line but it was highkey rly hot i was into it big time
  • "brother to sister, you’ve never looked sexier”
  • HITCHCOCK’S DISGUISE MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH I DID NOT EXPECT IT
  • sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet 
  • “women can be drug dealers too hashtag i’m with her” jake is all about that equality even when drugs are involved
  • OHHH MY GOD THEY WENT TO THE WRONG BANK
  • THIS IS FUCKED
  • HAWKINS U BITCH ASS
  • “I’M A CLEAN BOY!” WE KNOW BABY WE KNOW IT’S OKAY 


crime & punishment:

  • r they having a candlelit vigil for a dead rat??? is that?? am i seeing this right????
  • jake’s mugshot lmaoooo
  • a la la land singalong WHO IS THIS ROSA
  • “don’t lose” thanks holt real motivational!!!!
  • charles with white hair does NOT look right
  •  "you need to get your crap in order!“ "okay, yeah you’re right. i’ll take a nap” me when i wanna ignore my life
  •  "i love you" “i know, han solo. love you too”
  • rosa’s wearing piiiiiiink
  • I’M SO ANGRY HAWKINS IS SUCH A GOD DAMN BITCH
  • JAKE REALLY MADE A TITLE OF YOUR SEX TAPE JOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF COURT
  • charles having the realisation he’s not a crippled old man was such an uplifting experience
  •  oh man suddenly i want some onion rings real bad
  • “ames how would you like to take a romantic trip to the town of horse ditch, pennsylvania” yah jake ~*so romantic*~
  • holt and rosa’s relationship in this episode is so important
  • TERRY MODELLING IN JAPAN IM SO
  • amy called jake babe and it really gave me the tiniest bit of life
  • “i’ll wait for you, i’ll keep fighting for you and so will everyone at the nine nine” i cried GET MARRIED
  • rosa’s wearing pink agaaaaaaiiiinnn
  • “you guys are so cute and i love you” pregnancy made gina nice
  • THE MUSIC WHEN JAKE AMY AND MATTHEW ENTER THE COURTROOM WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHA 
  • ok the moment they figured out where the money had been transferred from - my entire body just drained
  • LIKE YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME BITCH
  • WHAT THE FUCK
  • gina putting her hand on amy’s shoulder was like the sweetest thing ever it made me happy for 0.03 seconds
  • has anyone counted how many times jake said “cool” because that’s a damn achievement @ andy samberg how did u do that
  • THEY REALLY ENDED THE EPISODE THERE. WOW. OK. SWEET. THANKS WRITERS. THANKS FOX. THANKS DAN GOOR. I’M KIDDING, NOT THANKS, NOT THANKS AT ALL.
  • I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA END WITH A GOD DAMN PROPOSAL BITCH I WAS ROOTING FOR IT WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR IT
  • Y’ALL REALLY THINK I’M GONNA WAIT ANOTHER 4-5 MONTHS FOR THIS SHIT TO BE RESOLVED? WELL YOU’RE RIGHT, I AM, BUT I’M NOT GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT IT


in conclusion: i am sad.

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Annie! At The Disco

Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson vs. Victorious by Panic! At The Disco.