I swear, you and Hubby are relationship goals! Any tips for maintaining such a fun and healthy relationship? :)
MARRY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T HATE CHEESE BECAUSE HUBBY DOES AND I’LL NEVER STOP BEING VERY GRUMPY ABOUT IT
That’s sweet of you to say, thank you. It’s really worth pointing out though that it hasn’t always been fun and healthy. You’re taking two separate lives and trying to smoosh them together to create a shared life, and you should expect there be problems along the way.
There’s no One True Path, I don’t think. Every individual and every relationship is different. I’ll be happy to tell you some stuff that I’ve discovered over the years and I think they’re generally applicable, but they come from my experiences. My experiences will never trump yours.
There are, I believe, three important things that factor into meaningful relationships (and this is for any type of relationship: romantic, friendship, whatever): Honesty, Communication, Effort. And if you can work Sense of Humour in there too, then you’ve got bonus stats in everything else.
Honesty is the foundation of any relationship. Honesty with each other, and honesty with yourself. A relationship built on lies can’t withstand.
Communication is absolutely necessary. You need to be able to voice what you think and how you’re feeling to everyone involved in the relationship. Nobody here is a mind reader, and you shouldn’t expect them to be. And you can avoid just so much damage ahead of time. Talking out something small can neutralize it before it becomes something huge, and as someone who has been through both the small things and the huge things, I will take the small things every single time. And communication only brings further understanding, which is amazing not just in helping you connect with the other person(s), but again just neutralizes so much shit before it becomes shit.
And then effort, which is I think the key to maintaining a relationship, and the part I tend to see missing most often (including in myself). The thing with effort is that there’s no finish line. You can’t ever stop. It may not always be difficult, you may find the effort comes quite naturally, and that’s awesome. But even when it’s not coming naturally, you still have to put it in. Equal effort into a relationship is a must by all parties, all the time.** If you ever find yourself not bothering or even wanting to, it’s time to revisit honesty and communication.
Sense of humour, like I said, is the bonus for everything. It can make every other piece that much more enjoyable. Plus, when you fuck up (and you WILL fuck up), there’s nothing quite so healing as sharing a laugh.
(**) Now I say “equal effort all the time”, and obviously that’s not realistic. For example, I struggle with depression, so sometimes Hubby is putting in 100% and I’m putting in maybe 2%. But that 2% is also my 100% possible at that time. And this is where communication comes in, because my 2% may purely be in letting Hubby know when I’m having a tough time. But that’s so important because it lets him understand and adjust. We’re not machines, and it’s impractical for us to expect or assume that our effort will always be equal. Each relationship’s “levels” are personal and specific and the only right or wrong lies in the feelings of everyone involved.
AU where the hotel Dumort catches fire. Raphael’s in a meeting with most of NY’s influential leaders when he glances at his phone and lets horror play out on his face for far too long for him to be faking. That’s why Magnus is a step behind him when he starts running and he manages to almost keep up with him, arriving at the hotel in time to see Alec tackle Raphael and bring him down before the vampire can race into a burning building. Luke and Maryse get there soon as well. Raphael’s face is smooshed into the dirt but he’s screaming abuse at Alec anyway, demanding that Alec let him go. Magnus takes Alec’s place. He can see most of the vampires got out-he’s sure Raphael’s aware of it too- but there are faint cries coming from inside. Magnus bent down and hauled his little bird up. “Shush,” he murmured into his ear, using magic to keep him still and wrapping his arms around him to comfort the leader who had lost almost everything. “You need to calm down. It’ll be okay. Your vampires need you. You have to be strong for them.” “I could still save the rest,” Raphael croaks at last. He’s not crying, but he’s stiff as a board, lying flat against Magnus. “I could still save the rest.” “Shush…” Magnus can see mundane firefighters arriving and he relaxs slightly, which is all Raphael needs to break free and run into the flames. “Fuck!” Magnus shouted, following the idiot down into the bowels of the building. Raphael isn’t far ahead; he’s stopped and he’s breathing hard. There’s walls of fire nearby and his dry flesh is already beginning to redden. It must hurt and Magnus opens his mouth to shout at him to get out for God’s sake when he’s grabbed roughly and dragged backwards. He’s about to scream when another firefighter pushes past and grabs Raphael. Magnus relaxes but Raphael kicks and struggles the whole way out. They get lectured by the fire chief for almost an hour- words like ‘danger’, ‘irresponsible’ and 'should really be jail time for jokers like you’. Raphael’s given ointment which they massage onto his arm. They say their other equipment is malfunctioning when they try to take his pulse -he does look like he’s in shock- so they just suggest putting him to bed, having given him a mug of hot sweet tea which he is forced to drink. Maryse, claiming to be their parent (she snarls something about “haven’t you heard of adoption” when she gets a disbelieving look) takes them away. She’s clutching Raphael’s arm tightly looking for all the world like an angry parent. “Take. Him. Home.” “No!” Raphael shouts, “I have to stay with the clan-” “Lily will look after the clan in the Sanctuary until tomorrow evening. You can’t be trusted to look after yourself, so you’re going to Magnus’ apartment.” Alec mentions he’s staying at the Institute to help and Raphael tries to argue, but Magnus is clutching him hard and he gives in. Raphael sags into Magnus in an annoyed fashion, dragging his feet the whole way. He rubs his burnt arm when he gets to the apartment, before muttering a quick almost apology “you nearly got hurt, and you shouldn’t have followed me” following it up with a characteristic insult “and it was your own stupid fault”. “Go to sleep,” Magnus snarls. Raphael looks like he’s been punched but slowly wanders into the spare room. He’s only in there an hour before he drops into Magnus’ bed, curling into the warlock. Magnus knows he’s lost friends, family, his home… so he cuddles him close and reminds him that he hasn’t lost everything.
Like these almost look like candids “can you take our picture” and Oliver just smooshes his face onto her cheek and she just looks up and laughs because right after the shot he blows a raspberry onto her cheek.
THE BEST BREAKFAST BAGEL YOU’LL EVER EAT IF YOU LOVE EGGS AND AVOCADOS AND HAPPINESS:
so, i forgot to take a picture of the bagel before I ate it but when I say it was that good - it was that good.
- get fresh bagels from walmart or food lion or whole foods or whatever local grocery mart you have! or a bakery if you’re feelin fancy. i usually get the big fresh soft white wheat bagels with the sesame seeds on them.
- slice an avocado and put half in the fridge as my recipe only calls for half. smoosh the avocado into what looks like guacamole.
- slice a bagel and put it in the toaster oven (don’t turn the toaster on yet!) and add a slice of provolone to each piece of bagel - or whatever cheese you’d like (if you have a stand up toaster, you can melt the cheese on the bagel afterward!
- in a pan, begin frying 2 eggs over easy with a lil coconut oil. once you flip the eggs the first time - turn the toaster on for the bagels that way everything is done around the same time and stays warm and delicious.
- set the eggs aside and get the toasty bagel out (add your cheese now if you couldn’t before). smear the avocado on top of the cheese like its a condiment - use however much you like. add salt on top of the avocado, add the eggs on top of that, and put the other slice of the bagel on top.
- and now you have a beautiful delicious breakfast bagel!!!! i used all organic ingredients, home grown eggs (i mean i personally did not grow the eggs but my chicks did?), and home grown avocados to make this as clean as possible so if you’re clean eating - this works for you too!!!
tbh if anyone ever took me on a date to the aquarium and they had otters, it would be the best date ever, i would hug that person so hard, and then drag them all around the aquarium while i excitedly smooshed my face next to the glass.
I prefer my weird smooshed together version of both of them into a single canon line :3
I like the first part of the manga and the way that it tends to flow and move along pretty quickly and intensely, but I also like some of the “filler arcs” from the anime (like Doma and Noa Kaiba) and I prefer the anime version of the Millennium World arc. Buuuut I also like Yu-G-Oh R so I work that into my “canon timeline” as well.
ronan walking into monmouth one day to find noah and adam asleep on the couch, adam is on his back with one arm dangling to the floor and one arm wrapped around noah, noah is on top of him with his face buried in adam’s neck. adam’s cheek is smooshed up against noah’s hair. ronan just has to silently be like
he texts gansey from the floor, “help me”. gansey texts back, “so you saw them.”
blue peeking in ronan’s room to find ronan and noah in bed together, asleep. neither have their shirts on nor are under the covers (it was a hot day). but still noah’s back is plastered up against ronan’s chest with his hands curled up to his own, ronan’s arms are caged around him. noah makes a noise in his sleep and shudders, ronan nuzzles into him from behind and they both relax again. blue has to run away and collapse on to gansey’s bed, screaming into a pillow. gansey just nods solemnly, “so you saw them.”
gansey comes home one night to find the living room completely wrecked, bottles of alcohol, bags of chips, is that cake mix?, strewn everywhere. the only thing he can’t identify is the dark amorphous lump near the foot of his bed. upon closer inspection he sees that it’s noah and blue, asleep on the floor. they’re sharing a pillow and using a twister mat (where did they get that?) as a blanket. blue’s hair is sticking up at all angles. some of her infamous clips have found their way into noah’s hair. they’re facing each other, embraced, noses practically touching. he wants to get them a real blanket and at least another pillow, though he doesn’t want to disturb them. he gets out his phone to take a photo, instead.
one late, late night, the gang is crammed into a booth at a 24 hour diner. gansey, on his fourth cup of coffee, is talking animatedly about something when noah suddenly topples over on to him, curling inward and grabbing a fistful of gansey’s shirt as he settles, content and fast asleep. blue has to shove her fist into her mouth to keep from shrieking, adam badly stifles a loud snort, ronan is debating whether to throw a chair through the window or set the table on fire. gansey gives them all a bone-chilling death glare that says, don’t you dare wake up this baby on my shoulder.
anyway the moral of the story is that alive!noah is a serial snuggle monster prone to falling asleep on his friends at any time, any place. and no one can handle how cute it’s very painful.