smonahan

Day 5. (Tuesday) Ups and downs.

‘Ups and downs’ is an expression used by many to  indicate good times (ups) and to indicate bad times (downs). Recently I have been having a lot of ups and downs, for example losing all remaining self confidence- down, Aunt’s party- up, and so on. The main reason I made a post about it today, is because I feel today was really one of those ups and downs days.

Two of my best friends are now currently in a relationship together (up), and it just so happens that the girl in the relationship is my ex (down). Now it doesn’t bother me that they are going out I’m happy for them (up) but it may sound harsh on my ex, but I always thought I would be the one to move on first (down). Its not like i’ve not tried but here the thing; I get on well with so many girls and I’m a massive flirt (up) but I am always led on and told a bunch of bullshit I mean 'the friend speech’ which furthermore destroys my self-confidence and my hopes of a relationship (down). 

This is how I feel and although I can’t change it I just wish I could because when the opportunity for a relationship comes my way, i’m so emotionally unstable that I mess it up and ruin everything. This happens way too much (down).

- Shea Monahan

Self-confidence.

Like many people I am one of those who have self-confidence issues. I feel that I am a nice, misunderstood and shy person. Although to/with my friends I act arrogant, loud, out going, obnoxious and a bit of a dick half the time.

My main self confidence issues come when I like a girl. I know that majority of the time I don’t have no chance with them but somehow along the way I end up being led on and asking them out- which never ends well for me to be quite honest.

The reason I brought this up is that as I mentioned before in an earlier blog that my school prom is coming up and I have found a few girls in my year that I would like to take to prom. But with my before mentioned self-confidence issues, I don’t know what to do. Any help would be much appreciated!

- Shea Monahan. 

Day 3. (Sunday)

Well today hasn’t been exactly exciting but I went over to my mates house and just cotch’d, spoke and messed around- again relating to my other post enjoy the little things.

What this post will be about is friends. I mean I have less than a year at secondary school then I move onto sixth form, college, university, work? Who knows! I don’t care about all that right now though, but what I’m really worried about is all my friends. What will happen to all of us? I doubt I’d have time to see them all and its down to what they do after school as well. 

Basically, I guess I’m anxious about what is going to happen to my closest friends now and if they will still be come next year…

-Shea Monahan 

Stupid sh't.

I have decided to throw a few points I’ve got to say into one post. 

Relationships:

I have never been great in this area, yet somehow I am for other people. What primarily made me decide to make this point was that I haven’t had any recent success and with loneliness slowly setting in on me I have become paranoid and decided that I need a girlfriend but this never works out for me. I am constantly led on, which gets to me and p'sses me off so much! Also finding a date for the prom is pissing me off to as I cannot find anyone I really want to go with, or the sheer fact there is no one that wants to go with me.

Friends:

With my paranoia, I have been doubting myself, the way I look and the way I am. With this and my constant moaning about it, certain friends have been there for me and supported me (which I love them for). Also there is the other side that some of my closest mates have been fighting arguing. It is ridiculous! One of them is the biggest hypocrite ever, the other is just being an out right c'nt to one of them and then the other is retaliating and being a c'nt within his own rights. We all used to be a good group of mates, what happened to that?

Prom:

I cannot see the point of this whole event! It annoys me the fact how everyone dresses up and spend a load of money, all on one night… However I wouldn’t miss it.  As I said before I have had trouble finding a date for prom, while other have already got dates or are arranging them now. I guess it just my luck, that I will spend out for this night and by the end of it come off none the better.


Just to link in with my title of the blog all this stupid sh’t is getting to me and annoying me. It has got to me so much that I decided to rant and let it all out on my blog. This is…

- Shea Monahan