smoke switch

Andrew is at least one child's favourite athlete (Andrew and Kids Part Two).


 A young girl with leukemia, Coach Kinzie tells Andrew sombrely, wants to meet her favourite sports star. For a brief moment, Andrew assumes she’s talking about Kevin, or maybe Neil, or really any of the other players on the Olympic-gold-winning team, but a second later he realises Kinzie is looking at him expectantly, itinerary in hand. Andrew doesn’t agree outright but when he leaves, he takes the itinerary with him. He thinks it’s more than the Coach expected. 

 "What did Kinzie want?“ asks Neil later, glancing up from his phone as Andrew walks through the door of their apartment, trying to shake off a damp autumn leaf that has adhered itself to the toe of his shoe. 

 He gives up, kicking his shoes aside aggressively before handing the Make-A-Wish itinerary to Neil, who scans it and passes it back with a smile. "Well, you’re no Disney World.”

 Andrew gives him a flat look. Neil hadn’t even known what Disney World was until a couple of years ago, when Matt and Dan had organised a Foxes reunion there for their twins’ fifth birthday. 

 "I think I’m a bit old now to really appreciate all the things I missed out on as a child,“ Neil had told Andrew when they got back. "But I wouldn’t mind going back one day. It was fun, I guess." 

 Andrew had hummed noncommittally as he closed the window in which he’d been researching US adoption law on his laptop and deleted the search from his history. 

 "Kidding,” says Neil now, standing and holding his hand a centimetre from Andrew’s. “Disney World is a wasted wish, apparently. You’re the best goalkeeper in the league, Andrew. I’m not surprised you’re some kids’ idol.”

 "One kid,“ grumbles Andrew, clasping Neil’s hand briefly before retreating to the kitchen to feed the cats. Neil won’t have remembered. "And I’m questioning her taste in athletes." 

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Pairing: Reader x Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)
Warnings: !SMUT! Swearing
A/N: I never specify which version of Kurt this is about. For me it felt more like comic!verse Kurt, but you can just use your imagination on which ever one you prefer ~~~~
Your mutation: Healing factors 

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The Signs As Suburban Dads
  • Aries: John, Age 43. 4 kids. The dad that gets really competitive in neighborhood cooking/BBQ contests. Wears a lot of polo shirts, probably a DILF. Was really wild as a teenager and his wild side still probably shows through a lot.
  • Taurus: Thomas, Age 42. 3 kids. The dad that loves to spoil his kids and take them to lots of baseball games. Treats his daughter(s) like princesses and his son(s) like royalty. Loves going to neighborhood block parties, although always tends to drink a bit too much at them. Major DILF, has all his daughter's friends swooning.
  • Gemini: Ian, Age 45. 3 kids. Loves his kids and wife more than anything, is always trying to show off for them and please them. Goes to every single one of their kids' sports games and probably has coached at least 3 baseball teams.
  • Cancer: Brian, Age 41. 2 kids. A major stay-at-home dad. Is very smart and is always helping his kids with their homework. Wears a lot of hats and enjoys golfing any chance he gets. Probably really tall.
  • Leo: Steve, Age 45. 5+ kids. The typical BBQ dad. Loves throwing house/block parties, always tends to drink way too much at these. Loves his trophy wife, probably sells weed throughout the neighborhood.
  • Virgo: Nathan, Age 46. 1 kid. Is very quiet and reserved at parties, doesn't really like to socialize much. His favorite time of the week is family game night, where he gets super competitive. Loves cooking dinner for his family, makes the best meals ever.
  • Libra: Chuck, Age 47. 2 kids. Used to always smoke cigars, recently switched to vaping since it is way more 'hip'. Loves going out at night to bars and stuff with his wife, smokes a lot of weed and probably has a twitter, snapchat, instagram, and tumblr.
  • Scorpio: Chris, Age 41. 2 kids. Makes a lot of dad jokes, wears a lot of baseball hats. Is always making business calls on his blackberry, gets super into holidays and always makes it a competition to buy the best gifts. Volunteers at the school a lot. Hates his mother-in-law.
  • Sagittarius: Mark, Age 42. 4 kids. The "cool" dad. Is always trying to keep up with the new trends, always wants to take his kids hiking and to baseball games and just outside doing stuff. Is probably super tall, eats a LOT at dinner, major DILF.
  • Capricorn: Jeff, Age 46. 3 kids. Has a strong disliking towards the neighbors, is always traveling on business trips and stuff. His favorite day of the year is 'take your kid to work' day. Bought the biggest house he could find for his family. Has a really obnoxious mom.
  • Aquarius: Michael, Age 43. 2 kids. Watches a lot of sports, is always playing golf on the weekends and in his free-time. Secret stoner, sneaks out to the porch to sneak a quick joint way more often than he probably should. The "fun" dad, gets into fights at his kids' sports games and adores his wife more than anything.
  • Pisces: Tim, Age 44. 3 kids. The hot dad. All of his daughter's friends are so obviously in love with him. Has a trophy wife, loves drinking champagne and fancy drinks. Dresses in polo shirts and khakis, works a lot but always manages to make time for his family.

clearly-shady-bouquet  asked:

Can you do them reacting to their S/O being good at baking but horrible at cooking?

ofc!! sorry it took so long exams have been kickin my ass


• u two are baking brownies for the boys since theyve been stressed lately and u wanted to do something nice for them
• shownu watches in awe as u expertly pour in and mix the brown batter in the bowl
• u always had some kinda magic touch when it came to baking, u knew how much sugar and flour to add in and when to add the vanilla extract
• it just made shownu smile bc wow how cute is that ur working ur butt off for some sweet treats for him and his members
• “hey (y/n) i’ll take over the stirring can u make eggs or something? i havent eaten all day”
• u freeze and give him a smile
• “sure”
• u hand him the bowl and walk over to the fridge to grab some eggs. easy enough right?
• u crack the eggs into the pan, not failing to leave some egg shell in the yolk thats starting to sizzle in the pan
• u turn to shownu whos diligently mixing the batter, workin up a sweat
• tbh he looks real good
• hes totally shirtless, wearing grey sweatpants and to top it off, a cute little pink apron that looks like its gonna bust open at the seams
• u lean against the stove, basking in the appearance of this actual adonis in an adorably domestic setting
• unfortunately u totally forget that stoves are hot and pull ur hand away as it stings with heat
• shownu puts the bowl down and rushes over to u, holding ur hands and blowing frantically at them
• “babe are u okay?” he asks worriedly, his eyes watching ur reaction closely to see if ur in any great pain
• u reassure him “im fine” until u hear the beeping of the fire alarm
• “oh my GOD”
• u turn around to see the pan totally covered in SMOKE and shownu switches the stove off
• ur kinda upset that u cant even make eggs for ur boyfriend but shownu just chuckles and kisses ur forehead
• “next time i’ll cook okay?”


• “baby are u hungry?” wonho comes into ur shared room where ur sitting in bed on ur phone. he wraps his arms around ur waist and nuzzles his nose into ur neck
• u smile at the sensation. “mm kinda? what do u wanna eat?”
• he gives u a knowing smile and u sigh and get up from the mattress
• “ramen?”
• he smiles and takes a hold of ur hand, stroking ur index finger with his thumb
• u know me so well"
• the two of u chase each other to the kitchen and u grab the very familiar plastic bowl labelled shin ramen
• u rip off the lid and unlock the hot water dispenser, filling the bowl to an unsteady level where the water is teetering around the edges. u put the bowl in the microwave and punch in 50 seconds
• all seems well until u hear some popping noises from inside the microwave
• “um. babe”
• “yea?” u ask, too scared to turn around and see what happened inside the microwave
• “did u take out the sauce packet before adding water and putting it in there?”
• “oh my g-”
• wonho moves u out of the way and opens the microwave, his face contorting at the smell of burning plastic and the sight of ramen sauce power all over the inner surface. some soup flowed over the top too
• u laugh nervously, put ur hand over wonhos, and close the microwave. u head over to the fridge and take out a plate
• “how about we eat the macarons i made yesterday?” u give a sheepish smile
• a smile creeps onto his face and a goofy laugh escapes his lips. ur hysterically laughing and he’s bent over his knees, so thoroughly amused by ur antics
• “man i dont know how u do it. but yea i’ll take a macaron” he opens his mouth. u pop one into his mouth and he chews then hums with delight
• “these are so good??? what happened just now? are u the same (y/n) i know and love?”
• u two laugh again and he puts u in a playful headlock and plants kisses on the top of ur head


• u got a text earlier that ur boyfriends gonna come home late so u wanna surprise him with a nice meal
• u can bake a mean cake but ur not too confident about ur cooking abilities
• but u’ve baked minhyuk so many cookies and cakes and cupcakes ur worried for that boys blood sugar
• so after watching 3 youtube tutorials u try to make kimchi stew, one of his favorites
• u roll up ur sleeves and get to work. u throw some broth and vegetables into the pot
• u cut some kimchi then some fishcake some spring onions u get the pork out of the fridge
• u think its going well
• until u get a text from minhyuk that he’s on the way home
• according to ur calculations he was supposed to be coming home late
• shit
• u do some quick math if u boil the stew at maximum heat for 2 minutes u’ll finish in time before minhyuk gets home so u crank that stove up and
• KACHOW the pot overflows
• soup is everywhere, the kimchi is on the floor, ur kitchen looks like a natural disaster
• “honey! where are u???”
• he comes into the kitchen sweaty from practice and ur just on the floor crying next to ur empty pot, food is scattered around the floor
• “oh baby what happened?” he cooes at u and crouches down next to u, wiping ur tears with his thumb
• u barely manage to get a sentence out
• “i-i tried to cook u” u hiccup, “something but e-everything just fell apart”
• he kisses u on the forehead and stands up to grab his phone
• “well i like pizza. how about we order some pizza and we watch kitchen nightmares yea?” u flinch at kitchen nightmares. “okay how about we watch house hunters” u nod frantically and smile
• totally ignore the mess on the floor
• u clean it up eventually dont worry


• u made a deal with minhyuk that at the next house party u were gonna cook something to bring and kihyun was gonna bake a cake to bring along with the food u made and in return he was gonna make a video of himself flicking a booger and post it on instagram
• the problem? minhyuk knows u cant cook for shit and kihyun cant bake for shit
• kihyun originally protested saying “he doesn’t want his house to end in flames” but after minhyuk kept egging him on saying he was a wuss, he threw on his apron and started reading martha stewart books
• so u and him are in ur kitchen, face in hands and sitting at the counter
• “why did i agree to this”
• “why did i let u agree to this”
• u sigh and slide off the stool. “i mean i can make like, fried rice right?” kihyun groans. “knowing u it might result in a call to 911” u shoot him a glare. “hey bobby flay at least i know how to bake a cake”
• he scratches his head and gets off the stool. “how about we make this a competition between ourselves. whoever makes the better dish wins”
• “ur on yoo kihyun”
• its like iron chef u two start scrambling around ur kitchen, opening cabinets and packages
• u lift the lid of the rice cooker and groan in frustration as u see a clean, empty container
• kihyun indulges himself in a shrill giggle until it abruptly stops when he’s opened the last cabinet and found no cake mix
• “u’ve got to be kidding me”
• u hover over the grey pot, finally shutting off the faucet when the rice grains look like they’re drowning in tap water
• kihyun’s throwing sugar, flour, and eggs into a bowl, trusting his “chef’s intuition” that he doesn’t need measuring cups for a mere cake
• u throw the soggy rice into the pan and just start adding stuff u think will taste good together in there. zucchini, bits of kale, ketchup, leftover chicken that probably has been sitting in ur fridge for at least 2 weeks
• it smells pretty goddamn awful but when u look over at kihyun u think u have a good shot at winning
• he’s gotten green food coloring all over his hands and t-shirt and the batter’s completely runny
• “how u doin ogre there”
• “im never doing this ever again”


• u two are laying on opposite sides of the couch, sitting up to show each other dog pictures and whatnot
• u see a video on instagram showing u how to make this yummy looking beef over rice thing
• u lean over hyungwons knee, excitedly showing him the video and how u should make it for him
• he gives u this knowing look
• “(y/n) do u remember the last time u cooked something?”
• “no why”
• “i was taking a nap and u tried to make this weird chicken thing u saw on youtube”
• “uh huh”
• “and when i walked into the kitchen”
• “yea?”
• “i have never seen so much fire-”
• u playfully slap him on the thigh, pouting. “i forgot to turn the stove down while it was boiling!!!” u huff, turning away while crossing ur arms
• hyungwon laughs and sits up to ruffle ur hair
• “but u made it up by baking cupcakes to give to the very nice firemen who saved our apartment”
• u giggle and bring ur knees up to ur chin, reminiscing in the time u almost burned down ur entire apartment complex
• hyungwon sits crosslegged facing u, staring at ur face
• “what?”
• “im just wondering how the hell u managed to do that”
• “no cupcakes for u then”
• he whines and the two of u share a laugh and settle back into the sofa to continue laughing at twitter memes


• he never fails to send u a text asking if u’ve eaten yet and if ur free, to go out and get lunch together
• its the sweetest thing and u decide u wanna do something nice for him
• so u roll up ur sleeves and make a lunchbox for him. its kinda childish but it seems easy to make and for ur……limited cooking skills, its ideal
• ur in the kitchen, scraping an egg off the pan as it burns to a crisp
• “aw man that was the last egg,” u whine, looking at all the failed prototypes on a plate next to the stove
• u begrudgingly roll up the burnt egg in the lunchbox and set up some lettuce on the side, trying to make it presentable at least
• now time for the Meat
• the last time u cooked meat was when u and jooheon were out eating kbbq and whenever the tongs were in ur hand u’d somehow toss the meat in a way that cooked it. lets say well overdone
• jooheon had to call a worker to get the fire down even tho it was at its lowest heat. nobody on the restaurant knows how u did it
• so yea ur not the best at cooking meat but hey second times the charm
• so u slide the beef into the pan, satisfied with the sizzling sound that came after
• now the hard part. knowing when to flip it so it doesnt slowly burn into charcoal. so u just keep flipping it mindlessly, too scared to let it burn
• the beef is just NOT turning the brown that it usually does when jooheon cooks it and u settle for when the beef is a weird brown, pink, red—u dont even know what color it is but its 12:30pm and jooheons lunch break is about to start
• u shrug as u pack the lunchbox. u made cookies before this mess so
• u drive up to the building complex and climb up the stairs to his studio. u punch in the passcode and pop the door open
• jooheon hears the door click and turns around in his chair, giving u that sweet dimpled smile
• u show him the lunchbox and bag of cookies u’ve been hiding behind ur back and he opens his arms to bring u into a hug
• “how did i get so lucky?” he kisses the top of ur head and sits u down on his lap
• he turns the chair around and u place the lunchbox and the cookie bag on his desk in front of his monitor and open it
• he has to stop himself from laughing, the corners of his lips trembling to rise into a smile. u flick him on the arm, a smile growing on ur own face. “shut up i tried my best!!!!!”
• jooheon kisses ur temple, a small chuckle leaving his lips still dumbfounded by the mess of food in the lunchbox
• “i made cookies?” u suggest
• “yea we can share those” jooheon closes the lunchbox


• u guys ate out at this one restaurant that had really good pork stir fry
• so naturally u two went to the internet and searched up recipes to cook at home, inspired by the dish
• after finding a seemingly easy recipe online, u and changkyun head to the kitchen and grab whatevers in ur fridge
• oh by the way its 1 in the morning so theres no supermarkets still open
• it sounded like a good idea at the time
• anyways u two are jus rummaging through ur kitchen, substituting whatever needs to be substituted
• “hey kyun we’re outta sugar”
• “we have lucky charms”
• “that works”
• u and him lay out the shabby ingredients on the counter
• pork? eh leftover hot wings should do
• bok choy? iceberg lettuce thats been sitting in ur fridge for 3 months
• but at least u have soy sauce
• u start choppin up the lettuce, slicin and dicin and ignoring whatever wilted leaves u see bc hey food is food
• changkyun: hey how do i start the stove
• “…….ur kidding right”
• u put down ur knife and walk to the stove, hesitant to turn any knobs
• “um its this one right?”
• u switch on the stove on the inner right corner which seemed fine to u…….until the roll of napkins next to it caught fire
• the fire alarm starts beeping and u freak out and start blowing on it until changkyun shoves his hand into ur face. “DONT BLOW ON IT ITLL GET BIGGER”
• luckily ur dating the son of a scientist so he grabs a pot lid from the cabinet underneath and throws it on top of the fire, stopping the flow of oxygen and u hear the sizzle of ur bounty napkins
• u and changkyun breathe out a relieved sigh and u lean on him
• u suggest making cookies tomorrow and changkyun insists on putting lucky charms in them
• u roll ur eyes, “yea yea whatever lets clean up and go to bed”


(c/n) and you laying outside on a big blanket with a grass everywhere and nobody to bother you and he has a cigarette that you both switch off smoking and his phone playing soft music while his eyes stay closed listening to the lyrics. Earlier that day cal got pissed at a jerk flirting with you so you guys drove out here and he’s pissed off and his hair is messy and he took off his sunglasses while you just admired him and his features you were laying on your stomach and you occasionally took the cigarette out of his mouth and he let you take a breath and exhale the toxic smoke before placing it back on his lips where it was before and he still had that grumpy look which you curious to what he was thinking and you waited a long time before you spoke up a little buzzed from the nicotine just kind of feeling floaty and from staring at (c/n) for so long “how can such a bad boy like you have such chubby cheeks but a jaw line that cuts glass?” You ask placing a finger on his cheek, poking the squishy skin then trailing it down along his jaw and to his mouth that had those full lips and you placed your lips on them still smelling the smoke and getting lost in the music. “How can a beautiful girl, my girl, get hit on by a guy when she already has me,” he says with attitude, breathing out the smoke. The cigarette became just a small stub so he flicked it and pulled another out of his pocket but you took it from his hands before he could start another smoke. He furrowed his eyebrows and tried reaching behind you to get it. You only put it farther and farther behind you until he was sitting up with you straddled between one of his Jean clad legs. “I need this (y/n).” He pouted and tried reaching again. You kept the cigarette in your back pocket. “Well I need you so what’s it gonna be?” He sighed and looked up into your eyes and laid back down onto the blanket. “My girl”. You smiled at him and went back down to kiss his lips with more force, having him keep his hands on your legs while your hands held his neck and shoulder. He broke the kiss only to say, “you are so much better than nicotine.” /p>
The Escape Artist - mugenmine - complete

Title: The Escape Artist - complete
Author: mugenmine
Fandom: Sherlock BBC
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Chapters: 6/6
Wordcount: @18000
Contains: Sub!John, Self Bondage, Handcuffs, Gags, Angst, Predicament Bondage, Blindfolds

Summary: Thirty-four days had passed since Sherlock had given up control for the first time and let John take him apart. At the end of that night, after the bondage and pain, they had lain together in the dark and promised that this would be the start of something more.

But when the morning came Sherlock grew distant and John had been choosing his words carefully ever since.

Thank you to ladyt220anjalididier, and wearitcounts for taking the time to beta for me. :-D I truly appreciate it. This one is for re-white.

I’ve finished!  Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it!

This is the 6th story in my New Sub!John Headspace series:

Sherlock is miserable at communication, John is terrible at saying no, and they both fail spectacularly at negotiation.

In the middle of this all, John tries to come to terms with his need to be bound and dominated, while Sherlock comes up with new, slightly disturbing, mildly scientific, and often misguided ways to test John’s limits.

Nothing ever goes as planned…

  1. A Study in Frustration
  2. The Doctor in the Boot
  3. Bespoke
  4. Secondhand Smoke
  5. Switch
  6. The Escape Artist

Thank you!


So I have an obsession with coffee. I stopped smoking weed and switch to caffeine. When I need to get up like Starbucks I grab me a double and I can feel the beans lift my weight away. So I am very happy to add this to #kawaiimonster collection. The album will be over an hour long with new material and a remastered version of LSAR #sgtc KM is shaping up to be a monster hit. BOTDF is back and creating the best music to date. I really feel strongly that #kawaiimonster will crush everything.

Made with Instagram

misty-anne  asked:

Do the force crystal lessons ever click for Obi-Wan in the Worst Vision AU? Like, he's watched Anakin make crystal after crystal and somehow was there for Ashoka's crystal lessons? And finally it just makes sense?

If they do, it’s probably while he’s desperate and disarmed and defenseless on some hell-planet somewhere and about five minutes from getting killed. I bet he would make a fucking AMAZING crystal like that, too, although it might also be the only time he ever manages it. 

(it’s Tatooine sand and Mustafar glass and the stink of a lightsaber wound in sentient flesh, and the blade is pure and brilliant green. every now and then it smokes when it’s switched on, but only ever for a second.)