smoke on and another

4

Day 53, 19:00 hours

Ash is in the Living Room, pacing and smoking.

Ash: “*bleep*”

pause

“*bleep* I’ve done it! Oh, man, that’s fantastic! Ha-ha! I did it! Booker Investigations is saved. Oh, man…”

Big Brother: “Ash, please make your way to the exit and ensure that you extinguish all smoking materials before you leave.”

Ash *grinning*: “Thanks! Will do!”

Ash takes another deep drag before grinding out the cigarette and heading for the door, still smiling widely.

So it’s just gone midnight and it’s my 21st 👑🎈 I’ve been tagged by @stonedpisces @autumnmelahnikissesrazors & @stoned-adventurer all to take a hit. It been a mad time for me recently so I’ve not been too active sorry guys! Y'all definitely need to smoke some more 😎😎 take another hit guys!
Also a big shout out to @chefgreenbudd for the 6 shooter pipe it’s absolutely wicked!

Tag time!
@stoner-and-stoness
@infjenn
@sonofsaam
@yourbabydoll-isdead
@pisci04071
@thesquidbat
Have a great day everyone 😤😤💯

9

Did you know? If you catch a falling maple leaf, you’ll fall in love with the person you’re walking with.

Witch Tips for City Witches

City Witch Tips for all of my fellow witches stuck in apartments, dorms or other city areas.

  • If you can’t burn incense you can make your own sprayable incense by mixing alcohol (usually vodka or rubbing) with essential oils and a bit of oil, spray in the air to act like incense
  • If you are unable to go outside for whatever reason to get rain water (in my case just no where to collect it safely), fill a jar or glass with regular water and keep it near a cracked window to charge it with the wind, sound and scent of the rain outside. Same goes for storm water
  • Trapped in city and unable to get ocean water? Sea salt mixed with rain/storm water can be an excellent substitute
  • To continue on with water substitutes, if you can’t collect snow crushed ice from your fridge will suffice
  • Low key warding/protection you can use: spray moon water, salt water or sprayable incense about your apartment or dorm, place sigils under doormats, furniture, inside cupboards, etc; place crystals about hidden or out in the open, sweep and dust out the door or towards windows
  • If you need melted wax to seal a jar or for any other magical purpose, but can’t burn candles, by a wax melter and melt that wax and imagine the light from the burner acting like a flame (plus they are rather cheap, I got mine for 25 bucks)
  • Need stars in your craft but too much light pollution? Glow in the dark stars on your ceiling or wall can work just as well for visualization. Print out pictures of your favorite constellations or planets and place them up on your walls or on your altar. Live video feed of the night sky can also be easily found on the internet
  • Bath magic is amazing for low-key ‘in the woods’ witches. Use teas, milk, oils, herbs, bath bombs, bubble baths, salts, etc that relate to your intent. It is also a good place to meditate if you have roommates or family around that would disturb you otherwise
  • If you do for whatever reason need to burn a candle, birthday candles are small, melt fast, and don’t create a lot of smoke or smokey scent
  • Sigils are another great low-key form of magic. To boost them up, use color magic related to the color you draw them in, write them using quills made of feathers related to your intent, use colored paper, rub a drop of essential oil on them, charge them with crystals or in your windowsill
  • You don’t have to burn sigils to activate them, which is hardly an option when you are in a dorm or apartment. Other options are: Shredding them, erasing them, soaking them in a bath or shower, using body heat or your own pulse, etc
  • Miss having the outdoors and plants around? Windowsill gardens can really help. Small plants you can consider keeping in your windowsill or counter-tops: succulents, cacti, bamboo, lemongrass, basic, rosemary, mint, rosemary, mosses, aloe, snake plant, pothos (and other vines), carrots, beets, shallots, lettuce, spinach, garlic, chives, parsley, oregano, thyme, and marigold
  • Open your window to let the wind and air from outside to help energize you and clear out negative energies inside
  • Fun places to put sigils: under furniture, carved into soap, onto shampoo/conditioner bottles, on your make up, inside phone cases, in shoes, under bandages, sewn into pillow cases and blankets, behind pictures in frames, underside of nail polish, carved into wax squares for your wax melter, keys and keychains, behind mirrors or in medicine cabinets, on bookmarks, on or in binders and pencil cases, on medicine bottles, and water bottles/travel mugs
  • Easy to make and dispose of poppets: carrot sticks (one of my personal favorites), apples or other fruit, clothe, paper, popsicle sticks, paper towels/napkins, toilet paper rolls, eggs, celery stocks, and cotton balls
  • The internet is an amazing thing. Need some sounds to help you focus or meditate? Easily look up the sounds of rain, storms, wind, ocean waves, jungles, forests, etc
  • Christmas lights are fun and great way to use discrete witchcraft. Select ones in the colors you wish for them to bring ie green for growth, yellow for inspiration, white for protection, purple for psychic abilities, etc. 
  • Some everyday things you can use for discrete witchcraft that don’t cost much at all or that you most likely already have: water, table salt, black pepper, paper, crayons/pencils/pens/markers, vinegar, milk, tea, highlighters, make up and beauty supplies, shampoo and conditioner, rubber bands, paperclips, thumbtacks, computer/phone/tablet, music/music player, playing cards, dice, air freshener, perfumes, toothpaste, rice, flour, sugar, honey, and all kitchen herbs and seasonings.
  • Can’t afford gemstones or crystals on college budget? Crackle and dyed quartz you can find super cheap at craftstores and online. I bought a whole bag for 4 bucks. Use them based on their colors and shapes. Can’t afford that but still want to use rocks in your craft? Find some rocks you like outside, again use their colors and shapes to determine their correspondences. Want to use them for a specific purpose? Paint sigils on them in the color that corresponds with what you want! Charge them in your windowsill or with your own energy and intent. There you go!
  • Pocket mirrors are cheap, easy to carry around and great for glamours and on the go magic. 
  • Seriously though, glamour spells are going to be a good option for you. use your make up, skin products, hair care products, brushes/combs, perfume, mirrors, toothbrush/toothepaste and intent. Good to do while you are getting ready for your day
  • Dream magic is another friend of the city witch! Use crystals, sigils, herbs, etc near your bed before you go to sleep, drink some chamomile, get yourself a dream journal (mine is literally a notebook with construction paper on it), keep it and a pen near you. In the morning write down your dreams, your thoughts, how you feel (tired, refreshed, groggy, etc), and interpret them. 
  • Can’t afford tarot cards? Print out some, you can usually find them online and they won’t last as long as a real deck but it is a good temporary solution. Want a Ouija board but can’t keep one or need it to be easily hidden? Print one out, draw on one on paper or cardboard, fold it up and store it once you are done. Want a pendulum but can’t afford one? Use your favorite necklace, bracelet or keychain!
  • Tea and coffee magic is great, make your own tea blends with the herbs you like. Or just buy simple green or black tea and add sugar, milk, etc depending on your intentions
  • As I said before, crock pot magic. The Modern Cauldron: brew and cook all day with it, fill your apartment with the scent of the herbs and food to fill it with the energies they correspond with and you get a delicious meal to come home to! Most dorms allow them. Rice cookers also work well.
  • Can’t afford fresh food? Have to survive on ramen, canned soup, and microwaved meals? That is okay! They even correspond with things! Tomato soup for love, beauty and passion. Beef ramen noodles for strength, courage and longevity. Microwave mac n cheese for beauty and feminity. Look at their ingredients and what they correspond with. Sure its not as glamorous as a making a huge made by scratch traditional meal but its kitchen magic none the less. Stir it with your intent while you cook. It isn’t fancy but it works just as well!
  • Use a notebook or binder for a nice grimoire, decorate it as much as you want on the inside. Print out pictures of nature, animals, planets, stars, places, crystals, etc that you cant’ access/afford and use them in your craft. Spell books and grimoires are powerful tools
  • Don’t have a wand? Use a wooden spoon. Tie a colored string or ribbon to it to correspond with what energy you want it to have and move and flick it as you would a wand. 
  • Knitting, crocheting, and knot magic is very apartment friendly. As well as sewing and embroidering plus it is super calming.
  • Glitter, sequins, and beads are great in witchcraft! Use their colors to determine their correspondences. Put them in spell jars, sachets, bottles, etc. Glitter tip: if you spill any don’t fret, get some packing tape, wrap it around your hand with the sticky part outwards and dab at that glitter spill. You will literally pick up all of the glitter in seconds!
  • Enchant and charge your pots, pans, skillets, and other cookware to make every meal magical
  • Make moonwater in your windowsills. Use it for cleansing, beauty, divination, clarity, protection and purification
  • Take walks. Even if it is a city there is still nature about. Pigeons flying about, potted flowers outside of stores, grass growing in front lawns, etc. Enjoy yourself, even if it is not some wild, vast forest you can still connect with your local nature.
  • Pick up litter or garbage you see outside, being in the city we all see it. The natural world around you will appreciate you helping out. Bring a bag with you when you take your walks or travel and fill it with wrappers you see on the ground.

I hope this was helpful to all of my fellow city and dorm witches!

3

“rank XII within organization XIII. larxene is the group’s only female member, and also has a very sadistic nature. she controls lightning, and uses it to thrash opponents with rapid attacks while also attacking them with her weapons: electrified throwing knives.” 

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: i’ve gotta tELL you life without you has been hard HARD? has been bad BAD?has been ROUGH kINKY and I miss tALKING about life and other stuff veryYYY specific Shut Up I like my parents Who sAYS THAT? I lOVE my parents But each day’s another fight if I stop smoking drugs then everything might be alright Smoking dRUGS… Just fix it!!!

psychic: what the fuck

4

Super Saturday Night Concert at Club Nomadic in Houston, Texas

2

Who would win in a fight between Papa Smoke and Papa John Shitfaced?

To answer this question I’m going to start with their stats. Based on appearance, I’ve estimated how each stack up and factored in their respective status changers. Let’s start with papa smoke:

Strength: 80 (60 natural strength due to his large build, +20 because of his chest hair)
Dexterity: 25 (He looks like he tries his best but isn’t quite as good as his peers.)
Stamina: 40 (60 naturally, -20 because of the massive amounts of smoke he inhales)
Charisma: 100 (His cigar and demeanor score him big for this one. He radiates an aura of invitation and kindness.)
Agility: 10 (His large size makes him easy to hit and his weight prevents him from moving quickly)
HP: 500, but it decreases by two every second because of the smoke

Next let’s examine Papa John Shitfaced

Strength: 60 (40 naturally, but the alcohol gives him the courage to hit harder)
Dexterity: 50 (80 naturally because of his impressive skills in pizza making, but the alcohol brings him down 30 points.)
Stamina: 80 (Due to the inhibiting properties of alcohol, he feels pain to a lesser extent which allows him to fight for longer)
Charisma: 40 (Naturally 80, but the alcohol has drastically affected his ability to form sentences, let alone settle conflicts.)
Agility: 70 (Naturally 90 because of his lean build, but the alcohol subtracts 20 points)
HP: 200

So how would a fight like this go down? What strategies would each fighter try to employ? Papa John Shitfaced’s strategy involves avoiding the huge attacks of Papa Smoke, and getting quick jabs in where he can, all while waiting for his health to deplete naturally. Papa Smoke takes a more direct strategy, knowing his time is limited he tries to get in as many hits as he can as fast as he can. Both strategies are hindered by each fighter’s skills, as Papa John will have a hard time evading while drunk, and Papa Smoke will have a hard time catching up to Papa John due to his extremely slow speed.

In order for Papa Smoke to win, he only needs to hit Papa John twice, as one hit deals 100 damage. In order for Papa John to win, he needs to evade Papa Smokes attacks for 4 minutes and 10 seconds. Given the odds, Papa Smoke has the highest chance of winning.

As the fight starts Papa John is too shitfaced to defend himself from Papa Smoke’s first swing and loses 100 HP at the very start. The hit snaps Papa John out of his drunken state a little bit and he retreats to the corner of the room. As Papa Smoke attempts to run over to him, he becomes fatigued which allows Papa John to get a punch on him. Papa John retreats to a different corner and repeats the process.

Halfway through the fight, Papa Smoke is at 250 HP and Papa John is at 100 HP. Papa John seems to have an unbeatable strategy and his chances of winning skyrocket. Papa Smoke’s health is shrinking by the second and he begins to lose hope. Instead of chasing Papa John he decides to wait in the middle of the room and re evaluate his strategy.

In his drunken confusion Papa John confuses this strategizing for another period of fatigue, and goes in for another hit. Papa Smoke is caught off guard by this but manages to turn around and scare Papa John with his calm demeanor. Papa John falls to the floor and backs up. Papa Smoke is now at an advantage, because now that Papa John is on the floor he’ll never be able to get back up due to how shitfaced he is.

Papa Smoke slowly backs Papa John into a corner. Realizing he’s exhausted his options, Papa John pulls out the gun he’s been keeping in his shirt and begins firing wildly. This frightens Papa Smoke, but Papa John is way too shitfaced to properly aim a gun. The stunt has only delayed the inevitable. Papa John takes one last breath and braces for impact, as Papa Smoke brutally delivers the final blow.

Angel

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Mardi Gras shenanigans. It’s porn, plot is optional.

Word Count:1,976

Warnings: Language, Smoking, Dirty Talk, Oral (MR)

A/N: Are you ready for the longest blowjob in history… (I don’t own the gif)

“Did it hurt?” Sam approached you, a sly smirk on his lips. When you didn’t play along and simply shot him an unimpressed look, he snickered. “…when you fell from Heaven.”

Yeah, you were dressed as an angel.

Not your idea, though. As it turned out, Wanda was a big fan of Mardi Gras and begged until you all agreed to throw a costume party. Tuesday morning, she shoved a white dress into your arms and said you were an angel. You didn’t want to upset her, so you just rolled with it.

Sam laughed at his own joke before the smell of pancakes drew his attention away from you. You looked around the room and sighed, sipping your second glass of… whatever it was Natasha had given you. It was good, a bit fruity and bitter enough to match your mood.

Wanda, who was dressed as Violet from the Incredibles, was running around the living room, filling plates with pancakes. Loud music blasted through the speakers.

“Looking for someone?”

Keep reading

queercateer  asked:

"Sincerely Me" but Connor is alive and he, Jared, and Evan are making up fake emails about their friendship to convince his parents to not send him to therapy after a suicide attempt? If you want to (Maybe Tree Bros??)

Enjoy!

~

“Fuck you Kleinman!” Connor snapped as he ripped his laptop away from the boy in glassed. “Who the fuck invited you anyways! Did you invite him?” Connor turned his attention towards Evan.

Evan immediately turned into a stuttering mess. “I-I’m sorry I-I just he-he’s good with computers and I thought he’d be helpful please don’t be angry!” Evan managed to choke out.

Connor shot a glare towards them both. “You got me into this fucking mess Hansen, so you better keep you asshole under control.” Connor muttered. He did not fucking rub his nipples and moan with delight for Evan Hansen of all people.

“Okay ‘I like my parents’” Evan started.

“Who the fuck says that.” Connor and Jared said at the same time. Both boys shot each other a glare.

“Okay ‘I love my parents but each days another fight’” Evan said. “’If I stop smoking drugs than everything might be alright’”

“Smoking drugs?” Jared cackled. He grabbed the laptop and smirked at Connor. “’If I stop smoking crack’”

“Fuck you Kleinman! I smoke pot dickwad.” Connor managed to kick the boy.

“Jesus your parents are going to think your gay for Evan.” Jared shook his head as he read over the letters.

“I could fucking care less what my parents or dumbass sister think about my sexuality as long as I don’t get sent to fucking therapy they can assume I like dick.” Connor snapped.

Evan blushed when Connor said this. Connor was an attractive guy but it’s not like Evan would ever admit that. 

“Sincerely me.” Jared sighed. “Are we done yet?”

“No Kleinman we have a lot of fake fucking letters to write got it.” Connor glared.

Jared just shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Dear Evan Hansen, thank for every note you send.” Connor said.

“Dear Connor Murphy, I’m just glad to be your friend.” Evan replied.

“God this is so gay.” Jared muttered.

“Fuck off Kleinman.”

“Jared please stop.”

Bring It On, Winchester.

Written for @celticfire21​  for donating to my Supernatural Seattle 2017 gift!

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 3,437

Warnings: sexual harassment, language, rough sex, squirting, overstimulation, edging, biting!kink, slight pain!kink, oral sex (male receiving), dom!Sam, dirty talk

Summary: The reader is a badass hunter that oys have run into many times over the years. There has always been a certain spark between her and Sam. While they flirt shamelessly nothing has ever come of it… until now.

Author’s Note: the biting kink thing is me dipping my toes in the water about writing a/b/o.

It had been a little over two years since you’d seen the Winchesters.

The last time you’d met up was on a witch case in Wisconsin, and that had only taken a couple days. You’d parted ways on a cold, stormy night, and since then you’d only spoken on the phone a few times, twice with Dean, once with Sam.

Now, there was a werewolf wreaking havoc in Hamden, Connecticut and the boys had called you to help out.

Keep reading