Tumblr as Expression

Anyone who reads or will read my Tumblr should know that I am a very optimistic and happy sort of person, which is good. People like to be around happy people and that has helped me a lot. But this is my blog and I am making it a place where I can fully be myself. I honestly don’t remember the last time someone asked me if I was okay with genuine concern.  And that’s fine. I am not complaining about it or blaming people for not being able to read my mind and making my life the center of theirs. Ever since I have gotten to university I have learned that you have to be selfish to survive here. Now when I say that, I don’t mean you need to push poor little old ladies into the street because they were in your way. That would just be rude. I just can’t afford to be the superhero in everyone’s lives anymore. It’s really frustrating, because I would love to be that person. I see people who struggle and I would love to just listen to them and put all my time and energy into helping them get through. But I just can’t do that right now. Believe me, I tried. But compassion and patience take a lot of energy and I noticed my grades starting to slip. Then when my own self-esteem started to suffer, the favor wasn’t being returned because people had already learned what I was about to – that you have to be selfish to survive here. There was no helping hand to put me back on my feet and soon I had to use all of the energy I had just to get up in the morning and do daily tasks. I am much better now. I have built myself a support system to replace the one I had in high school but it comes at the cost of many half hearted friendships that should be much more intimate. I know that university is a time that decides the rest of people’s lives – whether they achieve their dreams or fall short, so I understand why other people and myself can’t spend a whole lot of time on their social lives. I do have some very amazing and supportive friends, but still, they are in the same boat as me. My hope is that, after university, when I have settled down and there is less at stake, I will be able to put that time and energy into my relationships with other people again. One of the main reasons I choose my career path was because I thought it would allow me to love to my fullest potential. Anyways, my point is that my life is not perfect so I don’t want to pretend like it is. I want to share both my joys and my sorrow on this blog because I don’t get to do that anywhere else without judgement. If I post something that addresses my sadness, anger or some other serious emotion, that does not mean I am a sad, angry, or depressing person. If I post something that is light hearted or funny, that does not mean I am always entertaining. I have a wide range of emotions just like all of you and right here, I don’t have anyone to impress or a reputation to uphold. I am just going to let it ALL out because I can. If you’re cool with that, then follow me. If not, you probably haven’t read this far anyways, and that’s fine. No one is going to stop me from enjoying this freedom.

We Need To Talk About Kevin

I couldn’t sleep so I decided to watch a movie. I chose a movie called “We Need to Talk About Kevin” because a teacher had once told me that the book was incredible. I usually always read the book first if the film is an adaptation but this time I decided to just go ahead and watch the movie.

What a powerful film. Although I must say that it is one of the most depressing and heartbreaking movies I have ever seen.

My heart broke throughout the entire movie for the protagonist, Kevin’s mother. Everything that could go wrong for her, went wrong. Every time she was allowed a small joy, it was ripped away from her. And she was always always alone. The movie showed how all these things tore her down and made her weak. Her life was stripped to the most bare and mundane type of lifestyle. Yet at the same time she was so strong. She kept going. She never gave up.

My heart also broke for Kevin. He was always so lost. He was always different, but there was never a reason why. You could see him acknowledging that he was different. He was also intelligent. He drew the conclusion that life was a show and you either were the invisible watcher, or you were the star. So he felt he had to do something different. Then you see him realizing after it’s too late that life is probably not like a show. And that it’s actually just a huge ambiguous mess that doesn’t make sense.

I think that the reason it’s so powerful is because of how bold it is in portraying a side of the story that you don’t often see. Too often criminals are villainized. But criminals are people who are just lost. They’re people who have caused tragic things because of their own tragic situations. Another reason it was so powerful was because of the emotion. I personally found it impossible not to empathize with the characters, even though I have not experienced any of what they were experiencing. And of course, I think any audience would find themselves thinking about any difficult decisions they’ve ever had to make or any tragic situations they have ever found themselves in.

I know that without having read the book this review isn’t very credible. I more or less just wanted to share my thoughts on the movie because it stirred up thoughts in my head and I had to put them down somewhere.

Overall, I would recommend this movie to anyone who is old enough to handle the mature themes. However, it is a very very sad story. I wouldn’t recommend it to someone who is struggling with their own tragedies or to anyone who doesn’t want to be sad.