smile.life

anonymous asked:

Can i ask for some Sick or Hurt Keith being taken care of by his boyfriends Hunk and Lance?

POYAMOURY IS MY JAM pls <3


❝ It’s not going down, Hunk, ❞ Lance called across the landing; He turned his attention back to the little device in his hand, and let his brows furrow. ❝ You’re definitely sick, buddy. ❞

Keith smacked his lips, and craned his neck from where he was swaddled in blankets.  ❝ How bad is it, now? ❞

❝ 102.8. It’s gone up from earlier, so, it’s gonna be a day or two of bedrest for you. ❞ Noticing Keith’s grimace, Lance smiled sympathetically.  ❝ It’s not so bad, Keith, we’ll make sure you’ve got everything you need. ❞

As if on cue, Hunk appeared with an armful of blankets and a few other necessities; A glass of water, the thermometer caps (which Lance had, in his rush, left on the bathroom counter), and a bucket - just in case anything decided not to stay put. Keith had mentioned he hadn’t felt nauseous earlier, though, so that was something.

❝ I have stuff to do, ❞ Keith began to protest as Hunk tenderly tucked the quilts around him, and he slid underneath to retain as much heat as possible.  ❝ Bedrest is just the same as sitting at a desk, I don’t see why– ❞

❝ Keith, ❞ Hunk sighed, in that nurturing voice he always used to get his way; He just had something about him when it came to taking care of others, and it made both Lance and Keith melt.  ❝ You have to stay here. You’ll only get worse if you push yourself to work. ❞

❝ Yeah, and, ❞ Lance chipped in, perching on the edge of the bed. He leaned over to press a soft kiss to Keith’s temple, and smiled down to his ailing boyfriend. Hunk took residence on the other side of the bed, too.  ❝ We’ll keep you company. It’s not so bad, right? ❞

If it wasn’t for the two caring faces beaming down at him, or the dizzying weigh of fever on his mind, perhaps Keith would have pushed further. Either way, he nodded in agreement as he let his eyelids slowly droop.

Lance and Hunk cast each other a small, warm smile from their respective sides of Keith’s bed - After all, this is what good boyfriend’s did, right? Soon, it wound up with Hunk tucked into Keith’s side and sleeping soundly beside him, and Lance watching his boyfriends with a soft, gentle smile.

Life was good - even when they were sick.

time

so, this is my piece for @klancefluffweek day 1, which is first (i’m a day late but i managed to whip up some fluff !! i love it!! also, if you have time, please feel free to write fic/ do art (here are the prompts) and tag the blog!!!)

They’d been together for quite some time.

Their time together was patchwork in the way that it all fit together. Time was beyond them, beyond Earth time, beyond Altean time, beyond anything they’d ever encountered amongst the stars.

Moments learned to act as measurements for them.

The exchange of words acted as seconds, fleeting but still building up the bigger picture.

Touch acted as minutes, a little more indulgent, but usually never enough to keep them long within vicinity of one another.

Eye contact and actions, especially in battles, felt like hours. Those were capable of seeming like they were dragging on, minutes stacked on one another. A longing to be back in the arms of the other, a way of wanting to be back home.

Home.

It had always been on their minds, the idea that Earth still was something they craved. But in a way, Keith and Lance liking each other gave them a bit of distraction. They found solace in thinking about each other, time spent on someone they could easily access, rather than think about what was slowly getting farther from their reach.

Yeah, that’s all they were to each other, distractions.

At first.

If anything, they both realized on the same day that their relationship was more than a means of forgetting about home. Afterall, it wasn’t really forgetting home when they’d just found a new kind of home it didn’t seem right to let go of.

Lance realized it first.

“Oh.” He sat up in bed, memories of the battle from yesterday flooding his head. The explosions, the words, the loss of noise, the fact that he’d almost died. Almost. He clenched the sheets in his hands, then let go, looking at his hands, proof he was there.

A minute later, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, another sign.

There was a smile.

Life was unexpected.

He had to make the most of it.

Running out of his door, he’d never felt more alive.

Once he reached Keith’s door, he took a deep breath.

Knocked.

“Lance?” Keith watched carefully and Lance looked at the familiar outlines of his face. “What is it?” He had no plan, if what he was going to say was enough, but then he remembered just where he was.

He grabbed Keith’s hand, interlacing his fingers with his.

“Come with me.”

The interior of the palace was something Lance knew like the back of his hand. Granted, there were a few places he still didn’t know but a lot he knew because of the people he was with, or, the one person he was leading to the stars.

Keith was fairly silent the whole way, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, then disappearing as he thought about everything and yesterday and he squeezed Lance’s hand a little tighter. His eyes widened a little bit as he recognized where Lance had brought him.

It was a simple viewing deck but it had minutes and hours of time etched into it. The giant wall of glass let them look out into the vastness of space that they’d flown throughout, the stars scattered about across the darkness of space, regardless if it was night or day somewhere.

It was just a plane of existence, something unforgettable.

Keith bit his lower lip when Lance began to speak.

“We’ve fought, a lot. Like, we’ve fought one another, which is crazy-”

“Lance-”

“But we’ve fought together. Being a part of Voltron has given me so much but it has also taken so much away from me. It’s taken time from me, time I wish hadn’t spent worrying about whether or not I might not make it out of a battle. Time that makes me wonder when my time will be up.” Ha gave Keith a small smile. “But, I know that won’t be for a while, because, well, even though I’m reckless, I can’t abandon home.

“And when I say home, Keith, I mean you.” Lance took Keith’s hands in his, smoothing his thumbs slowly over the backs of Keith’s hands. “It’s scary, thinking I could leave you behind if I’m not careful, when I care so much about you. I think, it’s time, to let you know, you know? How much I care about you. How much I love you.” Lance smiled as Keith’s eyes widened a little, the stars no match for the way his eyes started to shine. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same right now or ever but I just wanted you to know in case-”

“Nothing’s ever going to happen to you, understand?” Keith removed his hands from Lance’s and grabbed Lance’s face, smoothing his hands out. “I know you’re selfless and it scares me to know that, too. You’re not alone. In fact, I was thinking about yesterday too and everything just made sense. I realized how much you’re a part of my life, Lance.” It was Keith’s turn to smile. “I love you, Lance. You’re home for me.”

Lance simply smiled back as he leaned in, Keith meeting him halfway.

After the kiss was broken off, they hugged one another.

“I love you, Keith.”

“I love you, Lance.”

The stars were witnesses to the many times Lance and Keith said they loved each other, even more so when they showed it.

After all, it was their way of telling time.

AU/Almost Missed a Good Thing: Prologue

Word Count: 1,838

The History Boys (2006): “The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.”

Author’s note: I just want to warn everyone that this one starts out with some heavier topics than Starry Nights! It’s AU where Riley’s parents and Lucas’ parents have passed away. There’s also bullying, harassment and fighting! I promise the actual story story is much lighter than this! Please stick with it and enjoy!



Prologue


Dear mom,

Here are some facts I’m still trying to wrap my head around:

1. Last year when you and dad died in that horrible car accident.

2. Me and Auggie becoming orphans.

3. Uncle Eric and Aunt Rachel moving into our apartment for mine and Auggie’s sake.

4. Aunt Rachel taking over Topanga’s.

5. Me missing you more today than I did yesterday.

NOW! Here are some new ones:

1.Aunt Rachel’s sister, Juniper, passing away from breast cancer last month.

2. Aunt Rachel getting custody of her two Nephews, Lucas and Levi.

3. Lucas and Levi leaving all their friends and family to live with strangers willingly.

4. Lucas birthing a horse.

5. The apartment being big enough for all 6 of us.

6. Auggie and Levi’s cuteness!

7. Me missing you more today than I did yesterday.

Keep reading

Title: Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder
AU: Flower shop across the street from a Tattoo shop AU
Summary: Rei loved flowers. Big, small, extravagant, or simple – they were always beautiful. An art form that had no appeal for him, however, were tattoos. So when he came in early one day to open up his family’s flower shop and saw the sign, Samezuka Tattoos, he just about had an aneurysm.
(Part 1 of a gift for the Queen of RinRei. fallen-lucifiel. This is way off from a picnic date but when this came to my mind, I just had to write it. I hope you enjoy the story!)

Rei loved flowers.

Big, small, extravagant, or simple – they were always beautiful. And as a man of finer tastes, Rei always had an appreciation, for what he considered, the finer things in life.

Like pretty dresses.

Foam art on coffee.

And there was also the beauty of sports, like track and swimming.

They were all forms of art in his eyes. But an art form that had no appeal in Rei’s eyes, however, were tattoos. He didn’t get why some people enjoyed riddling their skin with funky, often weird, pictures.

It made no sense.

So when Rei came in early to open his family’s flower shop that day and saw a sign that read, Samezuka Tattoos, across the street, he just about had an aneurysm.

“What is this?!”

Riku Ryugazaki shot his brother a lazy, apathetic look of irritation. It was too early in the morning to hear Rei’s pterodactyl screeching. “I’m looking over inventory again.” He waved the clipboard in his hand before staring back at the plants in the ‘Fridge’, as the two of them often called it.

“Not that.” Rei shot his brother a ‘C’mon be serious’ look before pulling him to the front of the shop, his arms making a grand gesture at the major problem before them. “That!”

Riku blinked, unimpressed. “Rei, I need to see haw many daffodils we still have in stock.” Then with a flick on the tip of the shorter blunette’s nose, the elder made his way back to where he was previously. “It’s not that big a deal.”

Rei gasped in horror. “Having such a mistake near all these flowers, ” He looked back at the looming tattoo parlour with a glare and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It’s a disgrace to all things beautiful!” In frustration, he clenched his fists.

Rei’s mother, Hiyoko, appeared around the corner with a look of concern. “What’s wrong, Rei?”

“The tattoo shop across the street happened.” Riku answered before Rei had the chance.

With a noise of pleasant surprise, the Ryugazaki matriarch smiled. “Oh, it’s finally open?” She gave a small clap of enjoyment after turning around to look at it. “Well, it’s not ready for business yet, but it probably will be sometime this week or next week. They must have done all the finishing touches last night.”

“Wait you all knew about this?” Rei gaped.

Hiyoko nodded in confirmation, “I thought you already knew, sweetie.”

Her assumption couldn’t have been more wrong. From the shark-like design that served as the shop’s door, Rei thought it was a pet store that specialized in selling fish. The building, er studio, was medium-sized, about the size of the flower shop. It was dark in colouring, Rei figured it was to make any fish tanks on display seem more vibrant at night.

Rei had been excited.

Fish were beautiful. Well, most of them were.

But that excitement had completely deflated with this revelation.

Rei’s father, Yuu, clamped a hand on his shoulder. “Oh cheer up scamp.” The middle-aged man grinned.

The blunette’s violet eyes averted their gaze, “But it’s not beautiful.” Permanent art was different with a living canvas. Every mistake, every screw up, was on that person’s skin forever. The thought of that happening to him nearly made Rei cringe.

“Never mind your personal preferences. You’ll treat the owner with respect, understand?” Hiyoko’s tone left no room for an argument, and reluctantly, Rei nodded. “Good. Now Riku, did you double check-”

“Yes ma’am.” Riku walked over and placed the clipboard in his mother’s hands. “Everything is accounted for and we should be getting that new shipment of carnations next week.” Hiyoko gave a pleased smile.

Life in the Ryugazaki Flower Shop was starting to bloom (pun somewhat intended).

Riku ruffled Rei’s hair, “Come on, little brother. Time to make some arrangements.” That made Rei feel a little better. At least that accursed shop wouldn’t open for a few days from the looks of it, so that meant a few days of beautiful peace.

“Alright.”

Tying his butterfly print apron around his body, Rei set off to work. Making arrangements was Rei’s favourite activity in the shop. There was nothing like the thrill of making a fragrant focal point with equally fragrant accents beautiful and turning it into a customer’s dream. His lips spread into a smile as he grabbed a large vase and when he got back to his and Riku’s joint workspace, there were ferns, ivy, baby’s breath, tulips, daisies, lilies, and gladioluses. “Do you want me to get a vase for you too?”

Riku nodded gratefully, “Yeah, thanks. I’ll get the plant food.” 

Despite the questioning, this had become more of routine habit for two of them ever since they were trusted with the floral knives to cut stems. Rei got the vases and filled them with water, Riku got the plants for the day and plant food, Hiyoko usually managed the phone and big orders, and Yuu mainly did the deliveries.

Even if it was just another way Hiyoko got her family to spend time with one another, Rei loved it here.

The smells were pleasant and the atmosphere was warm, even when it got the occasional chill froma  high maintenance customer.

“Aaaand, we’re open!” Rei’s father announced proudly.

“But we might as well be closed, we’ve hardly been getting any customers lately.” Riku complained, trying to decide which colour tulip would go best with the white gladioluses he chose.

Hiyoko chuckled, “Just wait till dance season comes. The time for corsages, bouquets, and whatnot. You’ll wish for more calm days.” Funnily enough, dance season was right around the corner.

Rei smiled ambitiously, “I want to do an arrangement for a wedding one day.” He had yet to do one.

Yuu made a face, “No you don’t son,” he shuddered from a memory. “I’ve dealt with one too many bridezillas in the past, specifically your Aunt Atsuko. Warm child my behind.”

“Dear!” Hiyoko gave Yuu’s arm a light, playful slap. “Not in front of the boys!”

“She’s their least favourite Aunt anyway, ow!”

Rei and Riku laughed at the scene before them. Aunt Atsuko was, for a lack of a better word, a bridezilla in and out of weddings. Everything, from her seasonings to her sticky notes, had to be meticulously organized or there would be a need for funeral arrangements for everyone within a five mile radius.

And finished! Rei placed his hands on his hips proudly. Three stargazer lilies with five accompanying gladiolus flowers in the back, ferns and ivy with a few brunches of baby’s breath filling the holes. The degrees and angles they are all set at don’t clash… Perfect! “This might possibly be my most beautiful piece!”

“You say that about every piece you make, Rei.” Riku teased. He was just finishing up his own arrangement. White gladioluses, pink tulips.

“But it’s feels wrong to not say that about each one.” Rei replied and he placed the arrangement on a display column. It felt like saying one of your friends was better than the other. It didn’t settle with him right.

Their mother gave a huff of amusement, watching her boys. “Rei gets that from me. I used to talk to the flowers here all the time when I was pregnant with him, maybe that’s the reason.”

It probably explained Rei’s sense of beauty as well, but no one was going to say anything.

Rei grabbed another vase and Riku, blinked. “Oh yeah, Dad,” Riku called over his shoulder. “The Konami Delivery is today right?”

After hearing his name being called, the male walked back into the flower shop from the backdoor. “Yup,” he was looking over the map for his routes. He wasn’t much of a believer in the GPS system. “But that’s one pretty close by so I could probably just walk there… But the walk back will clash with my 1:30 and 2:00 deliveries time-wise.”  He looked over at his wife, “Yoko, do you have any plans for today?”

“I still need to finish up the puppy arrangements for today.” Hiyoko answered thoughtfully. “But I’m sure if I get the first ten done, I’ll be able to finish the other ten when I get back in time before Yoshimura-san gets here.” Yoshimura was the neighbourhood dog lover, who worked over at the pound. He was a regular here.

“I can do it.” Rei cut in. 

Yuu and Hiyoko looked in his direction, “Really?”

Rei nodded, “Riku-nii-san, did the last walk-in delivery, so I can do this one.” With a smile of reassurance, Rei pushed up his glasses. “I’ll just need the directions and coordinates–”

“Oookay, dear.” Hiyoko sweatdropped. Where Rei got his need to calculate everything, she had no clue.

“So what time must I leave at?” Rei asked, walking over to his dad.

“One.”

Then after making several more arrangements with his brother and contemplating whether or not he’d be seeing his childhood friend, Haruka that day, the time for Rei to leave finally arrived.

Rei readjusted his grip on the giant delivery for the third time in a row. It was a ‘birthday cake’ made entirely of orange and yellow daisies. “I’m off!” He called over his shoulder, to his surprise, Riku was already outside of the door.

“Be safe out there, Rei.” Riku said warily. “Don’t talk to strangers, and make sure you look both ways before crossing the streets.”

“What am I a child?” Rei sweatdropped.

Riku fake sniffled and shoved his face into his hands. “My baby is growing up and finally going into the big, cold world!”

Rei rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but laugh anyway. “I’ll make sure to visit.” He took a step forward, but he stopped. “Oh, and make sure that Mother doesn’t forget about the food in the oven.” Well mini-oven, mircrowave thing.

“Oh, I’m already on it.” With their mother’s clumsy tendencies she usually burnt or straight up ruined meals. But the meals she didn’t mess up were quite good, so the Ryugazaki males of the house made it a tendency to watch over their dinner like hawks when it was her night to cook. “Today’s my night in the kitchen. I’m making stew tonight.”

With a sound of acknowledgement, Rei started his walking again feeling decent for the day, but after unintentionally looking over at Samezuka Tattoos, he felt drained.

At the very least this gave him thirty minutes away from that atrocity.

And, Rei noted, the warm tones of the flowers seemed to be telling him to cheer up. At least he hoped so, he couldn’t remember the specific meanings behind yellow and orange daisies.

It was nice.

Flowers were nicer company in comparison to humans on occasions.

 ‘They don’t talk, but they still have voices’, his mother once told him. He hadn’t really understood that until he experienced teasing from his fellow classmates back in elementary and middle school. 

Rei had got up to the second light when he readjusted his hands again. He was getting closer to his destination at last, he realized with a smile.

A cherry blossom passed through the corner of his eye and Rei looked up, his smile growing. In a few months, the cherry blossoms would be in full bloom. The Hanami Festival was his favourite holiday. He couldn’t wait to see it once more.

“’Scuse me!”

Rei fell out his stupor just in time to see the jogger running towards him, and with a start, clumsily moved one side of the sidewalk. “Woah!” A pair of large hands under the arrangement steadied him from falling and dropping anything. 

The bespeculated boy released a sigh of relief as he saw the daisies made it unscathed. “Thank goodness,” with a small gulp, Rei looked up to see his helper. “Thank you…” Rei was speechless.

This boy was gorgeous!

He had semi-long maroon colored hair and a vibrant pair of red eyes. “It’s no problem.” Rei held his breath as the boy’s moving lips revealed two rows of shark-like teeth. “You think you can hold this on your own now?” He had on a track suit, his sleeves still rolled down despite how warm it must have been gaining all that heat from moving around.

“Oh! Yes!” Rei flushed in embarrassment and fixed his grip once again. “Sorry for disturbing your run.”

The boy just shrugged dismissively. “It’s fine.” He looked down at the floral cake with a whistle. “Is this a delivery or…?”

“Oh, it’s a delivery.” With another start, Rei remembered he was running on a limited time. “Er, I still need to deliver it actually.”

Jog Man, as Rei was now going to label him, was nonchalant. “Alright, you don’t mind the company do you? I don’t get to see flower boys too often.” He was grinning teasingly.

At first, Rei thought he was being made fun of, but after seeing the lack of ill will in those red eyes he nodded and made their way to the other sidewalk. “Thank you again for helping me.”

“I don’t mind.” The maroon-haired individual replied. “Hey, I think I’ve seen you before.” Rei looked at him in surprise. “Do you work at that flower shop across from Samezukas?” He leaned in closer, well as close as it could be exceptionally allowed between strangers.

“Er, yes. Ryugazaki Flowers.” He mentioned the tattoo shop. Does that mean everyone else is only going to recognize us because we’re right by it? He felt more disdain for the parlour.

Jog Man brought Rei out of his thoughts. “Something wrong?”

Rei shook his hands, “No, I’m,” he averted his gaze. “Just not that fond of tattoos.”

“Oh.”

Thankfully, the jogging stranger didn’t ask anymore questions on the subject. The only people that usually agreed with Rei’s opinion of tattoos were close-minded elderly people, not young adults radically changing the world. Especially not beautiful strangers with red eyes and shark-like teeth.

“So…” Jog Man started up again awkwardly, “You can make flower arrangements into cakes, huh?”

“Yes, and just about anything if you have the time and creativity for it.” Rei said excitedly. “Like puppies, pin wheels, a portrait.”

Jog Man chuckled, “Well I guess I’ll have to stop by and look at your shop then.”

Rei smiled, “Please do.” 

They chatted off-and-on the entire time, and when Rei finally reached his destination the near permanent smile on his face sank. Sure he made the delivery in time, but that meant that his time with this beautiful man was over. “Well, it was very nice talking to you.” He bowed as politely as he could with a large cake shape flower arrangement in his hands.

“Yeah, to you too.” Jog Man gave a smile of his own. “I’ll see you around then.” And with a two-fingered wave, the maroon-haired boy left and Rei looked on at his back for as long as he could before tapping on the door with his foot in a makeshift knocking motion.

He doubted he’d actually ever see Jog Man again.

That would be too coincidental, and even if they were to cross paths again it would be months from now for a special occasion, like flowers for his girlfriend. Sure there was no guarantee on Jog Man’s preference on potential partner’s, but with his luck, Rei figured he’d be taken nonetheless. 

Rei sighed, but perked up when he heard the locks turning on the other side of the door. “I’m here with your floral cake delivery, ma’am!”

But the moment was nice while it lasted.

[;`;]

“Rei, Mom wants you.”

Rei turned off the water hose and pulled a handkerchief out his pockets to dry them. “Coming.”

It had been a week since his clumsy encounter with the maroon-haired boy he called Jog Man and, as Rei expected, he hadn’t seen hair of him since. Funny enough, Rei still felt disappointed. Then to add on to his list of issues, Samezuka Tattoos had officially opened the previous day.

Now he had the ‘pleasure’ of seeing pictures in its windows, one of people wearing tattoos for advertisement. 

Peachy.

“Is something wrong, Mom?”

Hiyoko shook her head, “No, I just want you to do me a favour. I’m a little behind on this bouquet and Riku’s already helping me so I was wondering if you could do it.”

Rei didn’t see anything wrong with that, “Is it another delivery?” But once again, Hiyoko shook her head and she entered the pantry in the back of the shop. When she came out, she had a small box in her hand.

“Well, it sort of is,” She gave a warm smile. “Do you think you could give this to the fellows at that new tattoo shop? I wanted to give them some Ryugazaki hospitality.”

“Eh?” Rei felt his jaw drop. “Eeeeh?!”

The Ryugazaki woman held up Rei’s hands and placed the purple box in them. “Since you promised to be well-mannered with who ever opened up that shop, I figured that you could start by giving the owners these cookies.” From behind them, Rei swore he heard an amused sound of prevented laughter coming from Riku.

“B-but, what about Dad?”

“Now, now, you promised.” Hiyoko reminded sternly. “And your father isn’t here right now, he had an errand. So please be a dear and do this for your mother, I meant to do it earlier but, this is a really important bouquet.” Actually, every bouquet was important in Hiyoko’s eyes but Rei figured now wasn’t the best time to point that out.

With his head hungover in defeat, Rei sighed. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Make new friends little brother.”  Riku snickered and Rei glared over at him briefly before taking a slow sum of steps out the door.

He really didn’t want to do this.

The neon red ‘OPEN’ felt like it was mocking him. Daring him even. Or it might have been the shark-head design of the door.

Rei wasn’t sure how, but he felt like he was somewhere in the right direction with it. But having a stare down with the door seemed like the most illogical thing to do, from his and everyone else’s perspectives.

So with a deep breath, Rei opened the door. “Er, hello?” He called out to the empty parlour. It would probably take a while for the customers to come flocking in he supposed. “Hello!” Were they on break and just forgot to turn off the sign? He really wanted them to be on break.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” Came a voice from the back, it was muffled.

Another sigh escaped Rei’s lips, his discomfort getting to him. That was when he noticed the other figure in the room and jumped in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were here um…” The other person was a male, and he was very tall, with droopy teal eyes and dark brown hair. He was very intimidating.

“Are you the owner?” Rei asked at last.

The man gave a slight head movement, a nod(?), “Co-owner.” He gave Rei an up-down look over. “You want a tattoo or something?” 

“Hey, hey, Sousuke!” Came the voice from the backroom now sounding much more clearer now that it was out in the open. And much more familiar. “You aren’t scaring the customers are you?”

It couldn’t be. Rei’s eyes widened and he turned around.

It was; and without a track suit, revealing long tan arms decorated with long, bold tattoos. “Jog Man-san?”

‘Jog Man’ blinked in surprise, but he broke out into a grin. “Flower Boy!”

Rei wasn’t one to believe in things that were hard to prove, but he was quite sure this is what one would call God’s horrible idea of a joke.