“I love you.” she said. “And I think I will always love you. I think I loved you before I met you and perhaps the universe conspired to help me find you just so I could love you. Just so I could know what it felt like to love someone like you.

I’ve loved you for a very long time and even when there was distance between us, I still loved you from afar. And now.. I think.. maybe.. just maybe.. it’s time for me to love you from afar again.. silently.. secretly.. just like I have for almost more than a year.

It’s not that my feelings toward you have changed. They are stronger if possible… but.. we both know that I lost you somewhere in between what was and what could have been but what never was. I know you have moved on and it’s okay. It’s okay to move on. You never made any promises to me.

but the thing is.. I feel lost.. Lost amidst waves of people that want you.. and we both know I can’t swim so I am drowning. The waves keep knocking me over again and again. Never in my life have I cared about silly things like this. Never have I cared about other women. Then I don’t understand why I suddenly care so much.

The truth is.. there are so many of them that want you.. and I am lost.. I am confused.. because I am just another random woman in your life.. while my life.. you are everything. So maybe.. it’s time for me to love you from afar again. Maybe that’s what’s best for both of us.


~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #220


6:36 pm