smile now cry never

so today my professor told us how she found her 8 year old neighbor crying on his way home from school last week and when she asked what happened, he told her that while he was at hockey tryouts these white boys called him the N word and told him that black people couldn’t play hockey. she felt so bad for him because she said he was always sweet and well mannered to her. she convinced her brother to give up his tickets to see the Flyers vs Habs game so she could give it to her neighbor. somehow he ended up meeting Wayne Simmonds and the boy’s father told him what happened.

apparently Wayne had a really sad look on his face after he heard what happened but he told the kid to not give up even though people’s words can hurt. and when Wayne told the kid that he believed in him and that he could be the greatest hockey player in the world and maybe even play for the Flyers one day if he didn’t give up, the kid started to cry. later Wayne gave the boy his email address and said that if those boys ever messed with him again, that he was to email him and that he would have his back.

after the boy and father thanked Wayne, he had a big smile on his face and just said, “us handsome fellas gotta stick together, eh?”

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wonwoo trying his best not to cry during their first win

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But it means that they have the ability to deal with it.

For boromirs.

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I keep thinking of you.

Being heartbroken is hard, but

Being heartbroken is hard. It’s hard to be that sad.

It feels like there’s a grey ball in my belly that weighs a ton and doesn’t allow me to jump around and feel as light as usual. The ball is filled with pinchy, ouchy feelings and memories. Things I wish hadn’t happened and things I wish had happened more. It hurts and it hurts all the time and I don’t see as many colors and fun things as I usually do. I just can’t pay attention as much I guess.

I hate not being able to see her anymore. Not just because she was so nice and I love her laugh and her smile and life when I was around her was even more awesome than usual. I hate not being able to see her because I’ll never know if she’s smiling or crying from now on. I wish I had a sense that tells me these sorts of things. But I don’t and I don’t know and I hate it.

But…

Even if I’m sad, I can still see things I love these days.

I love how Osomatsu-niisan gives the best advice when you need him to.

I love how Karamatsu-niisan has fun ways to try to take my mind off things.

I love how Choromatsu-niisan always, always worries about us when things aren’t good.

I love how Ichimatsu-niisan always knows what to say that will make me happy, even if he doesn’t talk much usually.

I love the amount of delicacy Totty always has in those situations.

I love, SO MUCH, that she wrote me and that she still thinks of me and that she looks hopeful for the future. I LOVE SO MUCH that she wrote me. I keep reading her words again and again.

And I love to realize that there are a lot of people ready to cheer a person up when they’re feeling down. If the world is full of beautiful people, then surely she’s met some where she is too and she isn’t crying anymore.

I love to think that.

Thank you, king-sized, game-winning home-run. Game-winning home-runS. Multiple home-runs to the infinity of space and back. In spirals.

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☺☺☺ The difficult baby princess & good princess ❆

 ❆Anna screamed and screamed throwing thing all over the room at her mother and the countless nanny

 "This is horrible, Gerda this is worse then execution It can’t be done!“ "It just can not be done!” “This poor baby is never gonna stop crying!”

Gerda half smiled “Now don’t give up now Mam'e something will work I guarantee it  my lord yes.”  

If I gave you everything, would we be happy? If I told you all the words you wanted to hear. If I told you I’m sorry more often. Would we be more? I should’ve held you closer. I should’ve never let you go. I should’ve begged you to stay. Can you look me in my eyes and tell me a story about us? Don’t cry. This is far from over. I know it’s over, but these poems. This is not over. They will keep coming. You’ll keep reading. We’ll grow further apart and we’ll soon be strangers. You’ll lose the umbrella and get soaked in rain. I’ll become a car with a flat tire swerving and swaying from my path. You’ll be a cliff hanger in a book and I’ll be every spoiler known to man kind. I’ll ruin everyone’s smile. We can laugh now and cry later, but your smile will never be real. You’ll crack before the end of this. You’ll break before the start of my next poem. We didn’t deserve each other, we were like poison. I indulged in you and you let it happen. Is there a difference? Romeo let it happen. Juliet indulged. Are we much different than a Shakespherean story? Love has a cost, I just didn’t realize it would be our innocent kisses and pure intentions. If I did, I would’ve let you go. Immediately. You’ve changed so much. I’ve changed too much. This love is a bit much, yeah?
—  #738 // maybe we didn’t drink the poison… maybe we were the poison.