smile like nothing is wrong

You have five seconds. Five seconds and then you need to walk out of here and smile and laugh like nothing is wrong. Five seconds alone in this bathroom stall.

Five seconds.

One.
They kissed. Play it over and over again in your head. The edge of the window obscured only what you could fill in anyway. They kissed, and that’s the end of it. No last-ditch attempts, no alternate endings. He is in love with her, and he kissed her, not you. You watched from the sidelines, just like you always do. You thought you were in the game but you’ve been benched all season, playing holograms and recordings and pictographs of memories.
For this second, embrace that rawness. He kissed her and it hurts because she isn’t you.

Two.

I know you want to argue, that you’re doing it right now. You’re making excuses and adding in ‘but what ifs.’ After all, you didn’t actually see it. Maybe your eyes played tricks on you. Maybe it wasn’t what you saw.
You want to say, but what about two days ago? What about the things he said, the way he looked at me? At just me.
It doesn’t matter what he says. It doesn’t matter how you think he felt. It doesn’t matter who you think he wants, it matters who he’s with.
And he is with her. Not you.

Three.

You were wrong about everything. Admit it. Own up to your dreams that got in the way of reality, acknowledge the danger of overanalysis. He makes you feel like home, but if he’s home, why does it feel like he just scraped out your insides?
And not for the first time. You feel hollow–cling to this. Maybe he is where your heart is, maybe he is your heart. Maybe he is everything to you, but you’re not to him. If you were, he wouldn’t have kissed her.

Four.

Remember all those things, one last time. After this, they are gone. They have to be gone. It’s the only way you’re going to survive. Remember the first time you met him and you knew you were going to fall in love with him and you knew it was going to break your heart. You always saw this coming. Deep down, you’ve just been waiting for the blow to fall.

Five.


I don’t know if you’re going to love anyone else. I don’t know if distance will finally solve what proximity cannot touch. I don’t know if you’re ever gonna really forget how much this hurts.
But one day, it will stop hurting. I promise

Look in the mirror, take a deep breath, and smile.
You are beautiful, you are brave. You love without regard for the consequences, and that is one of the best things about you.
You have amazing friends and a whole summer with them ahead of you.
Don’t miss out on that because you’re sad about him.
You are going to live through this, and you’re going to be better.

Walk out of here and don’t let them see those five seconds. Life’s too short to get all weak-kneed over some fuckboy who doesn’t care.

—  “Five Seconds in a Bathroom Stall”
When you’re happy, you laugh and smile like there’s no tomorrow. When you’re sad, you laugh and smile like there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone can look into your eyes but no one can tell if it’s happiness or just a mask. You’ve been living with lies and you’re very used to it. You are an expert pretender that you even made yourself believe that you’re okay. No, we can’t see through you. But we’re here to listen.

okay, but you know what i would love to read? aftg from kevin’s pov.

like, it starts right after riko breaks his hand - it shows him running to wymack because wymack is his father but shows us his fears: of riko, of what riko could do to wymack, of the backlash that could fall on the foxes because of it

i want to know what was going through kevin’s mind when he gave his back to andrew and what their friendship was like pre-neil. i want to know more of kevin’s backstory - about the scars in places no one can see, about the bruises, the broken bones that he had to fight through because riko would not allow him to tarnish their appearances. give me 400 pages detailing kevin’s fears and hopes and dreams, instead of turning him into an exy/alcohol robot.

i want to read about exy being the thing that makes kevin feel close to his mother, about kevin pushing himself to be better for her, i want to read about the pain of losing his mom and how it’s something he still struggles with daily, about him wondering what his life would be like if she had lived.

i want to read about his friendship with jean, how it got to the broken state it is, what riko did to ruin it (and them)

i just want more of kevin, because he is not emotionless, he is not just an exy player. he is a human being who has lived a childhood full of trauma and abuse, while simultaneously being forced to smile and act like nothing is wrong when there are a million eyes on him at all times.

Bloodstained Petals 《Microfic #1》

Hunter looked over at Nate, sighing weakly.

He was getting worse…

Those flowers, those stupid invasive, parasitic plants were killing him, strangling the life out of him day by day.

The brunette remembered when he first met Nate. The musician had been so energetic, only a few flowers coiling his arms, clinging to his skin.

And yet, over the few months of being with him, Hunter watched his sweetheart’s health deteriorate.

He watched how he whimpered and winced at soft touches, jumping and flinching at loud noises. With his vision being obscured by those colorful flowers, the larger male understood why.

But, that didn’t mean the pain would be eased.

It was the second month that Nate would begin coughing up bloody and wilted flower petals, his voice jagged and rough.

And yet he kept smiling.

He kept laughing.

He kept acting like nothing was wrong.

He acted like he wasn’t in pain, though Hunter could see it in his body language, the way he shriveled at a simple brush of his fingers against his arms.

He could hear him crying at night, his soft sobs muffled by his pillows as he pressed his back almost desperately to the brunette’s chest.

Hunter would watch how hesitantly Nate moved, how he grazed his fingers over everything to determine what it was.

And that’s all he could do…

Just watch.

No Parachute

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2.230

Summary: Bucky just doesn’t need a parachute 

Warning: fluff

A/N: Hi you beautiful people! I’m still alive! heh. I’m still drowning in my thesis, but I didn’t like leaving you all with nothing so I wrote you this one! Hope you like it, feedback is always greatly appreciated. I love you all so much, and thank you for the continuous support. *big bear hug to you all*


“He did what?!”

“He jumped o-”

“I heard you the first time, I just.. he did what?!

Steve gave you a half smile, approaching you slowly to give you a reassuring hug but you held up your hand to stop him and he did. Glaring at him, he held up his hands in surrender and let you walk around him and down to the medical bay.

“Y/N, printsessa how are you today?” Pietro stepped in front of you, stopping you in your quest. Narrowing your eyes, you sent him a death glare that was cold as ice within a second he was out of your way.

When you finally reached the door to the medical bay Tony appeared. You groaned and tried walking around him but he stepped in front of you. Smiling like nothing was wrong. You glared at him.

“That look might work on everyone else, but not me, kiddo,” he smiled teasingly and went to ruffle your hair, you slapped his hand away.

Keep reading

Jacksepticeye egos Experiment AU preview

READ CHAPTER ONE OF THIS STORY HERE: https://spiffanywolfe.tumblr.com/post/164337627068/one-and-the-same-a-jacksepticeye-egos-au

JACK ACTUALLY LIKED THIS HOW THE FUCK DID I NOW NOTICE THIS EARLIER?!?! *ahem* I’m calm…I’m calm…

(Brilliant title there, Spiffany. Well done.)

Inspired by this post I made yesterday: https://spiffanywolfe.tumblr.com/post/164268117693/i-made-up-a-backstory-for-jack-and-his-egos

(This won’t really make any sense if you haven’t read that post.)

Yes, I’m actually going to write a fanfiction based on this idea! I said I wasn’t, but I think through making the files and writing out the whole backstory stuff, I actually feel like I have some good ideas to make a story around it! It will probably take me forever to finish this, as I procrastinate like nobody’s business (who knows if I’ll finish this at all) but, hey, I’m gonna give it a go. I wrote this little part of a chapter just now, so I thought I’d stick it up here as a preview of things to come! Enjoy!

******

The Skype chat loaded and Robin’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey Jack!” Robin said with a smile.

“Hey…” Jack replied, trying to sound like nothing was wrong, “What’s up?”

“I just got the files for your new video,” Robin said, “I didn’t know you were moving!”

“Yeah it’s…it’s kinda of a last minute thing. I didn’t know this was happening either…I made that vlog literally a few minutes ago.”

“Oh…” Robin said, “What’s going on? Do you need help?”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Jack said quickly, “I’ve got it all sorted out. Everything’s fine!”

Robin raise an eyebrow skeptically.

“Alright…if you-“

BANG!

The two men jumped in their seats at the noise. Jack turned to the door.

You can’t leave those idiots alone for five minutes…

Anti said in Jack’s mind.

Fuck…what have they done?! Jack thought, his heart rate speeding up.

“Um…what the hell was that?!” Robin said, bringing Jack out of his thoughts.

“I’m sure it was nothing!” Jack stammered, his mind racing. Whatever the clones were doing, they’d end up alerting the neighbours, and then their position would be given away. He had to stop them. He had to-

CRASH!

“Fuck!” Jack cried, standing up.

“Jack, what’s going on?!” Robin demanded, leaning close to the screen to try and see what was happening. Jack turned back to the computer.

“I…I need to go. Give me a sec…”

“Jack!” Robin said, “Jack, stop! What’s-“

Jack ignored his cries and ran down the stairs to the living room. He could hear shouting and banging, which only made him quicken his pace.

He opened the door and everything went silent.

The room was dark. As Jack’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light, he could see the lampshade was on the floor and the lightbulb was smashed. Jackaboy Man and Marvin were floating in the air, looks of terror on their faces. Chase and Schneeple was stood to the side, frozen in the fight they’d been having moments earlier; Schneeple had Chase’s nerf gun in his hand and was holding it away from Chase. The sofa and the chair in the room were turned upside down and the shelf stacked with figurines and plushes was face down on the floor, figures and plushes scattered all over the floor. No one spoke for a moment.
“Jack…” Schneeple said, but trailed off. Jack didn’t speak. He honestly didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, he felt a deep anger start bubbling inside him.
Go on…Anti said, Look what they’ve done to you. You let them into your house, your property, and this is how they repay you! Go on…make them pay…
Jack shut his eyes. He hated feeling angry. It was the worst emotion of them all. He tried to avoid it at all costs, but Anti was doing a pretty good job at making him feel a deep seated rage that made him want to tear each and every one of the clones apart. He shut his eyes tighter as the logical part of his mind took over. They had never had an experience like this before. They had never had to worry about a bunch of breakable objects in the room they were able to play in in the lab. They’d never had the experience of being completely free, with no one to tell them what to do. Of course they were going to lose their minds! It was just natural!

“No…” Jack said quietly in response to Anti, feeling the anger wash away.
“No…?” Chase replied, overhearing him.
“What? Oh no, it doesn’t matter!” Jack said.
“Jack, I’m sorry!” Schneeple said quickly, taking a step forward, “Everyone lost it! Zhey were fighting and screaming and I vas trying to stop them but-“
“It’s ok! It’s ok!” Jack interrupted, putting his hands on Schneeple’s shoulders, “It’s fine!”
“Your’e…not angry with us?” Marvin said, still hovering in the air.
“Of course not!” Jack said, walking into the center of the room, “I understand why you did this, I really do! Besides…” he walked over to the TV (which was lucky not broken) and turned it on, “I’m not like them.” Everyone flinched at the mention of the scientists. Jack pulled out his PS4 and turned it on, and the TV screen flashed to life, showing the PS4 menu.
“What are you doing?” Marvin asked, floating down slightly but still remaining in the air.
“Are you punishing us?!” Jackaboy said quickly, panic in his voice.
“Of course I’m not!” Jack said with a chuckle, “Were you listening to anything I just said?!” As he spoke, he shifted through his PS4 games, looking for one specific one. Finally, at the bottom of the pile, he found it.
“Take a seat!” he said as he put the game into the console. Schneeple and Chase threw themselves into the sofa and chair (after turning them the right way up) and Jackaboy and Marvin floated down and sat cross-legged on the floor in between them. Jack handed the controller to Schneeple as the game he’d just put in appeared on the PS4 menu.

Undertale.

“Under…tale…” Chase read slowly, rolling each word over in his mouth, “What kind of name is that?”
“It’ll make sense when you start playing,” Jack said, taking a seat next to Schneeple.
“I…don’t understand…” Jackaboy said, turning to face Jack, “What is this? What are you doing?”
“This is a video game.” Jack replied with a smile, “ And I’m trying to keep you guys entertained in less…destructive ways.”
“Vhat do I do vith zhis?” Schneeple asked, staring down at the controller blankly.
“Press the X button,” Jack replied.
Schneeale stared at the controller for a good minute longer, trying to work out which button Jack was talking about, before finding the button and pressing it.
And he’s supposed to be the smart one…Anti snarled.
Give him a chance, Jack thought back, He’s never had to do anything like this before.
He can perform complicated heart surgery on a complete stranger with no medical training whatsoever, but he can’t work a PS4 controller? How does that make any sense?!
Jack ignored this comment and focused on the screen as the menu music started to play. Jack couldn’t help but smile as he saw Marvin and Jackaboy start dancing to the music. Even Chase was bobbing his head to the beat.
“Catchy.” Chase said, a smile forming on his face.
“Oh, it gets a hell of a lot better than this!” Jack said, grinning wider. He held his hand out for the controller and Schneeple placed it in his hand.
“Now, watch closely,” Jack said, getting the controller right in his hands and pressing X to start the game, “I’m going to teach you how to save lives.”

The Mars signs on a hike

*use mars*

Aries: TIME TO TAKE CHARGE!!!!! *is already at the top of the mountain 3 hours before everyone else and yells down to them that they’re slow*

Taurus: I’m, doing, okay, just, keep, going, keep, up, a, rhythm…hey nature’s pretty relaxing sometimes, glad someone got me out of bed for this

Gemini: hsjhohfoihdKJHDOHEOFLKE squirrel!!!!! tree!!!!! cloud!!!!! whOAH!!!! I never knew this could be so eNTERTAINING!!!!!!! *darts back and forth across the path and gets lost and/or distracted every 2.5 seconds*

Cancer: WHEN CAN THIS BE OVER I JUST WANT TO EAT FOOD OR SOMETHING *pouts the whole way up in the back*

Leo: haha no I’m not sweating!!!! I’M NOT TAKING ON THIS MOUNTAIN, THIS MOUNTAIN IS TAKING ON ME!!!!! *thinks they’re the leader when it’s actually Capricorn*

Virgo: If I’m going to do this I hope it burns at least 21093092183 calories *takes the most careful path possible and puts their all into it*

Libra: I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS I DON’T EVEN OWN HIKING BOOTS…oh well I’ll pretend like nothing is wrong and smile *is in the very back with Cancer the whole time, trips over roots*

Scorpio: I’m going to internalize this pain and take it out on the person who dragged me here by bringing it up 5 years from now

Sagittarius: NATURE!!!! MY HOME!!!!! idk why everyone else hates this it’s so fun and adventurous

Capricorn: STAY ON THE TRAIL EVERYONE IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE DON’T GET SEPARATED *leads the group behind Aries and tries to prevent Gemini and Aquarius from disappearing*

Aquarius: hey let’s try a different path and see what happens!!! that might be fun!!! no? ok I’ll take a detour myself *tries to identify the different kinds of fungus on the trees*

Pisces: :)))))) this is fun!!!!! look at the beautiful sunlight and trees and wonderful people *internally crying*

The Quiet After

For Platonic VLD Week! Prompt 2: Quiet/Chaos @platonicvldweek

Words: 1054
Characters: Ensemble, Lance & Shiro
Summary: Lance can’t stand the quiet, not after all the noise.


Also inspired by an absolutely TERRIFIC Lance-and-Shiro hug that @breezy-cheezy drew for me, middle of the set.


There was a bomb. Lance remembered that part. They were at a diplomatic function, again, some more. But this time the king or the president or whatever of this planet wasn’t popular. And someone set a bomb.

Pidge spotted it, with her clever little scanners and sweepers. They were all in armor without helmets, small earpieces to be as normal-looking as possible, playing security for the Princess as she worked the center of the room. Then suddenly Pidge was screaming in their ears. Bomb, there’s a bomb, get out get out get out.

Hunk, bless him, asked where it was. He wanted to find it, disarm it. Pidge gave a location, side of the ballroom, parallel to the main entrance, but insisted that there was no time. Get out get out get out. Keith was running around the perimeter, herding everyone toward the doors, Hunk was picking up elderly party-goers by the armful and carrying them out. Shiro was a heroic presence as always, guiding everyone in the right direction with a firm, commanding voice that you only had to hear to obey.

Lance fell behind. It wasn’t on purpose. He was listening, honest. But there was a kid, some dignitary’s daughter. She got cut off from her parent, was too young to handle it, stood by the wall beginning to heave and sob, unable to move. And Lance went for her, because what else was he supposed to do? She was too close to where Pidge said the bomb was.

Keep reading

“Thank You”

(Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Words: 1,062

Dean perched on the edge of his bed, holding the tape with both hands. He fiddled with the plastic case, opening and shutting it over and over, worrying if the ink on the insert may have smudged since he last looked. The label was stuck on well–not curling at the edges or anything. He checked twice to make sure it was rewound, so that it would start properly at the first track of side one–‘Rock and Roll’, just like he’d promised.

The label read ‘Dean’s Top 13 Zeppelin Traxx’.

He’d spent the entire night working on it, from that first spark of motivation until the ink was dry. He slept–more like napped, really–for only a few hours. Around 6am he’d made coffee and given Cas’ truck a once-over, checking the tires and the fluids and the belts. Cas was getting better about those things, but he never really paid attention like he should–even when they weren’t hunting for Lucifer’s baby mama.

He was now gathering the strength to put the tape in Cas’ hands; that he knew he could do. What he didn’t have were the words to go with it. He couldn’t get past ‘I made you a mixtape.’


Keep reading

ohsweetcrepes  asked:

/rolls on. i'm craving scarlet pimpernell steve/bucky au stuff.

*subtly tries to roll you off* *sheepishly looks up at followers*

Ok so original pimpernel au tag we wrote. So, your timing is perfect because I could never quite get my head around the power corrupt politician Pierce would have during the Obama administration, but it’s so much easier to see these days.  I’m not saying Pierce for President, absolutely not - Pierce is more like the puppetmaster who smiles to the public and pretends he’s working for The People rather than his own gain.  He doesn’t need to be president in order to hold all the power.

SO IN THAT CONTEXT: 

Steve Rogers, political activist, runs one of the best ‘American conspiracy’ blogs in the country. Is a true investigative journalist, on the ground during protests etc. Former BFF of the scandalous, notoriously capricious Bucky Barnes, adopted son of Alexander Pierce.

And he’s willing to use that friendship to gain access to Pierce’s inner circle, because he looks at Pierce and he sees the snake underneath the kind smiles of the man who turned down a Nobel Peace Prize.  It nags at his conscience a little, but Bucky Barnes is no longer the loud-mouthed kid who used to stand next to him to defend the helpless.  Bucky Barnes has turned himself into a ‘let them eat cake’ meme, is featured on the cover of trash magazines half-dressed and drunk, and doesn’t blink an eye at homeless vets.

The only good thing about him is that for every time there’s a story about him fucking a celebrity or a scandal about him driving under the influence, Pierce’s public image takes a dive.

So Steve shores up his reservations, sacrifices his good memories of Bucky Barnes in childhood, and goes to say hello to his old friend.

And Bucky is everything they say about him.  He’s irreverent and flighty and doesn’t catch on to jokes insulting his intelligence.  He wears thousands of dollars worth of clothing while doing forced charity work at shelters.  He drives a car worth the cost of most middle-class homes.  The first time Steve met him again at an event, Bucky went down on him in the bathroom and then grinned up at him, saying ‘what are friends for?’ before dragging him home for the night.

And Steve? Steve falls for it. He sees past Pierce’s oiled subversive charm. He’s exposed scandals and bribery and corruption, but he doesn’t see past Bucky’s fractured mask, taking him in on surface level and not looking deeper.

Except - well. Steve Rogers is the only one who remembers the old Bucky Barnes, and that person has been so systematically and ruthlessly destroyed, that there’s this tiny glimmer on the periphery of Steve’s awareness that asks if it’s on purpose.

AND CONSIDER THIS:

Bucky Barnes is bored.  Everyone who knows him now knows that he lives his life in pursuit of the next rush to alleviate that boredom, but not a single one of them can see that what he’s bored of is the game of pretending that he’s so much less than he is.  It takes everything he has not to react sometimes when he sees some injustice in the world around him.  It takes a lot of effort to pretend to be the public persona of Bucky Barnes, and he’s given it everything.

Only. Then Steve Rogers comes back into his life, and Bucky knows why.  If anyone could see Pierce for what he is, who could follow the bread crumbs that Bucky had been able to leave, it would be Steve Rogers.  Steve makes the game interesting again.

So Bucky brings Steve back to the family mansion, leaves him in rooms with sensitive documents after riding his dick.  He grins and flutters his eyelashes and feeds Steve all the information he needs for his expose-all expose.  

AND THEN THIS:

When Pierce tries to stop the article Steve is writing, the mythic Winter Soldier shows up (name a layered reference to the Winter Soldier Investigation and the The American Crisis by Thomas Paine) - no one knows who he is, or who first gave him the moniker, but there’s a rumour that if someone tries to stop the truth coming out through violence, that he’ll be there.  He grabs Steve and his laptop and his backup files from his apartment and pulls the fire alarm right before Steve’s stove explodes.

He drops Steve and the laptop off at 'Steve’s boyfriend’s apartment’ and keeps the backup files to put in a safe location, and Steve wonders at why  anyone would think he’d be safe at Bucky’s place.

(and what Bucky will think that he’s there, since they’re fuck buddies at best)

But when Bucky returns an hour later, wearing sinfully tight jeans, a shirt that defies public decency laws, and smelling of cigarette smoke and alcohol, he blinks at Steve in his pyjamas sitting on his couch, grins widely at him, and drags him into the bedroom.

Steve is on edge the next day, waiting for something to happen.  Bucky lounges on the couch napping off whatever he’d done the night before (besides Steve), and occasionally opens one eye at him to tell him to relax.  Late afternoon he gets up, showers, hands Steve a suit to change into, and brings him to supper at a very high end restaurant.

When Alexander Pierce sees Steve with Bucky, his expression goes tellingly blank for a moment, before he reaches across the table to shake his hand, and Steve knows.  He knows exactly who tried to have him killed, and watching Bucky smile blithely and eat like nothing is wrong grates at his nerves more than the way he napped all day had.

But there’s something about Bucky’s smile that looks the same way it did when he won a fight at 7 years old that makes the hair on the back of Steve’s neck tingle with awareness.  He’s having supper with Alexander Pierce, and even with all he knows about the man, Bucky is the one who feels like he might be the most dangerous person at the table.

find your strength, find your ground
be happy even when they’re around

smile like nothing is wrong
make them wonder how you’re so strong

never give up, miracles happen every day
every miracle happens in its own way

have hope that things will get better
because they will sooner or later

being strong should make you proud
go ahead shout it out loud

find your strength, find your ground
be happy even when they’re around

— 

- 3:41

( @glimpseofmylife)