smi

After I saw the newest SMITE Machinima I haven't been able to get this out of my head!

1. Zeus is always trying to appeal to the “Hip, young crowd” he believes most of the gods he works with are. Amaterasu has, unfortunately, had to deal with the brunt of his attempts to connect with the younger crowd. She’s had to call him his weekly changing nicknames, suffer through his attempts at rap- HECK he once even dressed up as a DJ and came to work, telling her to “Get funky fresh with your bad self, Amy!”

2. Needless to say Amy has a few, errrr…. issues with his “Cool Boss” motif.

3. Cu Chulainn, being the newest god on the battlefield, has yet to learn the ins and outs of the game and his co-workers. For example: He’s still trying to stop pronouncing Izanami’s name as “It’s-Anime” and he refuses to stop reffering to Susanoo as “Susan”.

4. Hades… well Hades is just a cinnamon roll. Although the Machinima portrayed a bit more like a jerky kind of boss I imagine him as caring for his co-workers and looking out for them.

5. Now, believe you me, when he has an “off-day” everyone suffers! He once tied Loki to a rock and threatened to drip snake venom he got from Serqet into his eyes! 

6. Hades brought Loki a box of chocolates and a very long apology note for actually getting the venom in Loki’s eye and nearly blinding him.

7. Izanami doesn’t really get hurt. She’s already dead. She can’t exactly die twice. I know that in game she dies, but I just imagine that as her servants from Yomi pulling her back down so she can rest and recover from her wounds. Needless to say she hates it.

8. If you think that Izanami’s seriously hurt because you see her lying on the ground completely limp and she hasn’t been dragged back down to Yomi by her servants yet, she’s just fucking with you. That, or she’s taking a nap.

9. Nox acts a lot like Hades’ secretary. She helps everyone out aroud the Underworld and does what Hades tells her to do. She even used to bring him coffee in the morning.

10. Hades can’t really digest anything or chew anything. Nox learned that the hard way when she watched the coffee she bought for Hades leakout from under his robe. Why can’t he eat or drink anything? Cause he’s a giant skelly under that fancy purple robe of his, duh!

I Forbid You From Putting A Shirt On! (Tom Holland!Peter Parker x reader)

Hey everyone! Another Peter Parker imagine!! I got this idea while watching Homecoming for the millionth time. Slight spoilers because it’s based on a scene from the movie, but no huge indications of anything really. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! It’s kinda long, but I put a lot of thought into it. Thanks for all the love you guys have been sending, I’m so glad you guys enjoy my work so much! Don’t forget to send in requests and things to my inbox (I’d love it if you did :) ) I love you guys! Hollanders for the win <3
- Xoxo K
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Warnings: Slight spoilers and making out (which isn’t really a warning, but just in case)

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You had just gotten home from school. Today, was another weird day. Your long time friend, Peter (who you were also crushing on at the moment) was acting so weird lately, and today was no different. He wouldn’t hang out with you like he used to. Everyday after school something would come up and you wouldn’t see each other until school the next day. You missed the way it used to be. You two used to hang out everyday and do homework together, you two used to be inseparable, but as soon as he got that Stark internship, everything changed. Now you sit at your desk, getting ready to do homework… by yourself, the usual for you these days. You spotted the picture on your desk of you and Peter from last Christmas, when you spent the holiday with him and Aunt May. In the photo, you and Peter are wearing ugly sweaters and plush reindeer antler headbands (I LOVE headbands, guys. Animal headbands are the shit), mid laugh. It’s your favorite photo of you two, and you just couldn’t help but think about how cute he was. You were lost in thought when all of a sudden you hear a voice coming from right outside your window. You get up from your desk and walk over to the window to inspect the noise. You pull back the blinds and open the window to see… Spider-Man? “What the hell…” You mumbled under your breath. He didn’t seem to notice your presence because he kept on with his conversation over the phone. “I helped this lady with directions” He said, mask pulled up just far enough for his mouth to be exposed. “She was really nice and bought me a churro.” He held up his hand, referencing to the sweet treat, taking a bite right after. You stood there in shock until he finished his conversation and hung up the phone. That was when you climbed through your window and onto the fire escape, only this time he heard you. As soon as your feet hit the metal on the fire escape, his head whipped around to face you. His mouth hung open. “Y/N?!” He said shocked. You were confused as hell now. “How do you know my name?” You spoke cautiously. It’s in that moment that you hear a soft but frantic voice come from the hero in red and blue. “umm… I don’t. I mean…” His voice cracks slightly as he awkwardly attempts to cover up his mistake. He clears his throat and starts again, this time in a fake lower voice, placing his hands on his hips like a cheesy comic book hero. “Hello miss” He said. You made a sour facial expression at his attempt to cover up. “Umm… okay” You said, weirded out. “Let’s start over…” You reached your arm over, through your open window, and into your desk. You pulled out a letter opener and pointed it at Spider-Man, the unlikely intruder. You slowly walked over to him, never taking your eyes away from him. “A… letter opener…?” He laughed a fake hearty laugh, still trying to pull off the fake deep voice. “Silly citizen.” You narrowed your eyes at him “Okay cut the bullshit” You frowned slightly. “No one says that.” You said, irritated with his “macho” attitude. You threw your letter opener at him in hopes that it would make you look intimidating. It was actually pretty pathetic looking. Your attempt at spearing his arm with it ended up with you just hitting him on the forehead with the handle. His hands immediately left their place on his hips to cover his forehead where your letter opener just hit him. “Ouch.” He started talking normally again. “What the hell?!” He yelled, surprised at your sudden action. “No, what the hell to you!” You yelled back at him. “Why are you stalking me?” He seemed offended by your question. “I am NOT stalking you.” He said, defensively. “Umm… you’re sitting outside my room and you know my name so…” You trailed off, annoyed. “Okay, listen…” He held his breath. “I’m Spider-Man.” He said, letting out the breath he had been holding. You gave him a funny look. “Yeah… I kinda got that…” You said, raised your arms and gesturing to his suit. “Damn it…” He said. “Will you let me take off my mask first?” You held your hands up in defense. “My bad.” He pulled his mask up and your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. “Peter?!” You loudly exclaimed, shocked. “YOU’RE SPI-” Peter jumped and held his hand over your mouth to keep you from talking. “Shhhh. Y/N! Be quiet! You can’t tell anybody!” Peter stage whispered at you. You nodded your head at him and he removed his hand from your mouth. “So… you hang from ceilings and stuff right?” He nodded at you. “Show me” You said, smiling. “Y/N… I don’t know…” You gave Peter a ‘really?’ look. He gave you the same look back. “C'mon! Pleaseeeeee?” You put on your puppy face and your eyes welled with fake tears. Peter’s look softened and he gave in. “Okay fine!” He said finally. “Yay!” You said, excitedly, slightly fangirling. Peter shot a web up at the fire escape above you and held onto it, flipping to be upside down. You stared at him, bewildered, as he hung from the web, smiling over at you. “So what do you think?” He asked you. You smiled and walked over to him. “I think…” You moved your hands to hold the sides of his face. Peter’s expression turned hopeful and his mouth hung open slightly as if he was in a trance. “You,” You said, thumbs brushing along his face. You leaned in to Peter’s lips and kissed him. Peter kissed back as soon as he registered what was going on. The kiss wasn’t too long, but it was passionate. When you pulled away, you continued what you were saying to Peter. “You,” You repeated. “Should get your ass inside.” You started walking towards your window. Peter looked at you in shock, flipping down from his previous position. “Uh… w-what?” He couldn’t believe what was happening. You stopped and turned around to look at him. “Or stay out here in the storm.” Just as Peter looked up at the sky, a crackle of thunder was heard and he could see dark grey clouds rolling in from the distance. “But I prefer you come in here and keep me company.” Peter turned his eyes back to you as you said this. You smiled at him as he picked up his stuff and came inside after you. When you two came through the window, he awkwardly stood by it. You walked out of your room and came back with sweatpants and a t-shirt for Peter to wear. “Here, Peter.” You dropped the t-shirt and sweatpants into his hands. “That suit doesn’t look too comfortable to wear for a long time.” He looked at you. “Thanks, but… where should I change?” He asked. “You can change in here, I’ll just leave.” You told him. He shifted slightly and gave you an “okay” and you exited the room. You went over to the kitchen to look for some snacks for the two of you when you heard Peter actively struggling with what you assumed was his Spider-Man suit. You heard a loud groan of frustration followed by Peter yelling for your help. “Y/N?” You giggled at his defeated tone. “Yeah?” You yelled back, trying not to let him know you were giggling. “Can you help me get my suit off?” You smiled and went back to your room to help Peter. You walked over to Peter and helped him unzip the dang thing. “Thanks.” Peter said, cheeks tinted a light pink. You smiled at him. “No problem.” You blushed slightly at how cute he was. “If you need anything else, just holler.” Just as you were exiting, you turned around to look at Peter just at the moment that his suit came off. You nearly had a heart attack at the sight of Peter’s physique. “Holy shit!” You jumped up in surprise, hand quickly gripping back onto the door knob. Your mouth was gaping and the hand that wasn’t gripping the door knob, was over your heart. Your breath was taken away at the sight of your shirtless best friend turned crush. Peter’s head snapped up to look at you, thinking that something was wrong. “What! What happened?! Is everything okay?” Peter exclaimed in worry. You couldn’t take it anymore. There he was, shirtless in all his glory, and he liked you back. So, what were you waiting for? You ran across the room to where Peter was and thankfully, he caught on. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you jumped, wrapping your arms around his neck and latching your lips onto his. Peter wasn’t prepared for your fast approach, however, and your momentum caused both of you to fall onto your bed (ooh… saucy). Peter pulled away from the kiss, making you frown slightly. “Will you go out with me?” You looked down at Peter, smiling widely. “Yes! Duh! Oh my god!” You giggled. Peter smiled at you. “But…” Peter gave you a skeptical look. “I get to try on your suit.” His look softened and he chuckled slightly. “Okay.” “And I get to meet the Avengers…” You added. Peter’s head snapped towards you. “What? Y/N! What the hell?!” You laughed. “I’m just kidding…” You rolled off of Peter’s chest and he got up from the bed. Peter turned to look back at you as he picked up the t-shirt you gave him. You jumped up from the bed and snatched the shirt from his grip. “No!” Peter was taken aback by your sudden outburst. “I forbid you from putting a shirt on!” He gave you a look. “What? Why?” You shrugged at him. “Because…” You trail off. You continue, smirking. “Those abs are too delicious.” Peter looks shocked now. “And besides… You ditched me for months and didn’t tell me why until now. So I think you owe me this for all my suffering.” Peter’s cheeks tint pink and his lips curve up into a smirk. You smile at him sweetly and plant a kiss on his lips before walking out of the room, dragging your hand along his abs as you walk away from him.

Originally posted by hot-as-f

anonymous asked:

I keep thinking about jimon + jace's cheesy pick up lines(even though they're already dating) its the cutest I'm crying

i think the sweetest part about this is that jace normally doesn’t have to resort to silly pickup lines to actually pick up because as we saw on 2x07 jace is just naturally confident, beautiful and cool and smooth - except it all flies out the window the second he falls for simon because all he wants to do is make simon smile even if its at his own expense?? 

consider the following teeny scenario (although this concept deserves MUCH MORE):

  • friday nights are date nights and today’s just supposed to be curling up in bed together with Chinese take-out and watching the latest mission: impossible in jace’s laptop. simon’s exhausted though, and it’s all he can do to change into a different t-shirt and drag himself over to the institute. he ends up falling asleep which his cheek smushed against jace’s shoulder, body aching, and only jolts awake when his phone goes off. 
  • “sorry, sorry,” he says, fretting over the drool darkening jace’s shirt. “this is so uncool - i’m just, i think i got thrown against three different brick walls because that coven from connecticut just does not know how to play nice and i’ve zoomed across all five boroughs today including staten island which, let me tell you-”
  • jace does what he always does when simon gets like this: he leans in and presses kiss after kiss against simon’s mouth, swallowing up the panicked words until simon sighs and kisses him back, bones becoming liquid under jace’s hands. simon’s eyes are still closed when jace pulls away and says, “i thought your legs were hurting from running through my head all day, not running after some new england vampires.”
  • “next time i’ll stick to just your head,” says simon, voice rough with sleep and sweet with laughter. “pretty sure things turned out better for me in there.”