smh no bum

2

“are you scared? imagine how scared she must’ve been. not that it’s any of my business…

you never had a happy past anyway. you were ridiculed and bullied all your life… and now you’ve escaped that life because for the first time, you did something for yourself.

congrats, mr. murderer.” - oh sangwoo

anonymous asked:

samwell bakery au, bless up

  • the entire samwell student body decide to host a fundraiser to raise awareness towards lgbtq+ issues and donate the money to different projects, which is when ransom and holster come up with the idea of opening up a temporary bakery
  • lardo takes on being the manager of the bakery without anyone ever announcing it, like, suddenly she’s just the one people go to when they need help with anything, whether it’s deciding which pastry should be the pastry of the week or needing input on the different projects they’re considering donating money to (to both which she replies “literally everything’s good. pick them all” “but isn’t tha-“ “everything. all of them”
  • bitty spends every waking hour in that bakery, making so many pies that when the bakery starts filling up with people in the morning he asks “gosh, have i been here all night?” the rest of the team just go “dude.”
  • dex turns out to be a really good baker; when he makes a georgia peach pie on his own bitty nearly cries from pride, and shitty has a near-to-god orgasm when tasting it (“jesus fucking christ! ‘swawesome, bro.”)
  • nursey… oh sweet nursey, he burns three of the pies, not including the Cake Catastrophe where the cake explodes inside the oven which has the entire staff stare in silence at the state of the oven (nursey totally tries to laugh it off with a “hah, chill guys” and walking away but ends up knocking down one of dex’s pies from the table)
  • ransom & holster are in charge of the marketing for the bakery when they shoot a poorly made commercial which basically consists of zoomed-in shots of different pastries as the other one yells “DAS SOME GOOD PIE THO” in the background (this attracts a surprisingly large amount of customers)
  • once the fundraiser is over the smh are all pretty bummed out that they have to go back to being non-baking hockey players because yeah, baking is pretty dope, so they end up helping bitty with his baking pretty regularly (this ends up being both good and bad for bitty because it’s sure nice to have some company and it’s more than amusing to watch jack attempt to make mini pies but oH MY GOODNESS NURSEY HOW LONG HAS THAT CHOCOLATE PECAN PIE BEEN IN THE OVEN)

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it