smelt it dealt it

Who did it?
  • I was practicing 'self care' taking a nice, relaxing tub. Well, I couldn't relax, so I decided to write a quick little dialogue-only fic for @xfficchallenges. Enjoy!
  • "Mulder?"
  • "That's me!"
  • "You could have at least rolled down the window first.....warn me or something"
  • "What?"
  • "Oh, come on...."
  • "Eeeewwwwww Scully, was that you?"
  • "No way, Mulder! You are the one that had the giant garbage cheeseburger. All I had was a salad."
  • "I know it was you Scully. What, not getting enough bee pollen in your diet?"
  • "Excuse me???"
  • "You're excused....see, I knew it was you."
  • "Mulder, shut up! It was NOT me."
  • "She who smelt it, dealt it!"
  • "Mulder, you're so childish. Why don't you just admit it was you?"
  • "Because it wasn't me Scully. Mine smell like roses."
  • "Yah, dead roses the have been sitting in your stinky gym bag for a month."
  • "I'll have you know, my gym bag smells good. I bought these smelly balls that you put in your shoes that keeps things fresh. Anyway, I promise it wasn't me."
  • "Why is the smell not going away?"
  • "I don't know. All of the windows are down. It must be an Xfile!"
  • "Queequeg!!!"
Shit Rick Says In Pocket Mortys

Ah damn, we got some reeeeal Morty stuff happening.

Oh, HELL yeah!

These Mortys, they get—I keep getting older, but they keep stayin’ the saaame age.

Graaaaass tastes bad.

Geez, Morty, we came here to win, not to get our asses kicked.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Just couple words of wisdom there.

Hey, Rick. Over here.

If you expect nothing, you’ll never be disappointed. Just a little wisdom.

I’m the Rick that can somersault!

He who smelt it dealt it. You know what I’m talkin’ about Morty?

All these Mortys, so little time.

Wubba lubba dub dub!

Rip him limb from limb, Morty!

One hell of a map we got here, i’n’it.

Ohhhh, snap!

Oh yeaaahhh, baby.

I’m the Rick that can blink fast.


Look at this, another…little character over here.

Oh, you think your Mortys are better than me?

You’re goin’ down.

I’m the Rick that knows how to move my legs.

Alright Morty. Make me look good.

You think you got better Mortys than me?

This particular location? I’m the fanciest Rick.

What do you think you’re doin’, buddy?

I knew you could do it Morty.

I’m the fanciest Rick on this map.

Go, Morty!

Alright Morty!

Rip him apart, Morty!

You came in here all cocky. Look where that got you, punk.

Get him, Morty!

Attack, Morty!

It’s time to take out the trash, Morty.

You can do it, Morty, y-you, ya just gotta get in there and do it.

That’s how we do it!

And awaaaay we go, Morty.

That’s how we do it!

Time to take ‘em out.

Knock him out, Morty!

Ugh, Morty… You’re makin’ me sick.

Yeah Morty!

We gotta win this one, Morty.

Why don’t you go get some better Mortys, you loser?

Take him out, Morty!

You keep fightin’ like that, Morty, you’re gonna end up at the… top of the… charts.

Don’t let me down, Morty.

Alright, Morty, don’t get too cocky.

I’m the craziest Rick all around this level.

You’re not getting past me, punk.

Hey Morty, how about you try…less hard…

Alright Morty. Way to go.


Just because you won, doesn’t make you the…coolest…person around, or nothin’.


Yeah! In your face!

Time to take ‘em out.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about Morty!

Ugh… Worst Morty EVER.

Take care of him, Morty.


Fightin’ like that, makin’ me look good, Morty.

Yeah, I didn’t think so, loser!

C-Come on, Morty, what is this, some sort of game to you?

With a Morty that dumb, I don’t think you’ll ever win…a battle…

Take care of him, Morty.

You call that fighting Morty? I don’t think so.

Pssh. You think you can beat me with Mortys that weak? I don’t think so.

Man, I’m all pumped up. From winning!

You better level up some Mortys before you think about fighting me again.

You are a dumb, weak-willed Rick.

Yeah, you thought you were real hot stuff. Not on my watch.

Oh, ho ho ho, ho ho! Yeah!

Oh yeeeeaaaah, baby!

Look both ways before you cross the STREET!

Alright alright alright!

You showed him, Morty!

You really took care of that other Morty, didn’t you.

Better watch out. Around here, I’m the craziest Rick.


Good work.

OH! Looks like the best Morty won!

Why don’t you get out of here and don’t let the door hit you on the way out?

What IS that?

EMMA:  Wait… what is that smell?

REGINA:  What?

EMMA:  Regina?  Did you…?

REGINA:  Wha… (understands)  Hey, it wasn’t me.

EMMA:  (starts laughing)

REGINA:  It wasn’t me!  (laughs a little not able to help it but becomes suddenly serious)  Emma!  The one who “smelt” it, “dealt” it.

EMMA:  Jeez!  Warn a girl next time!

REGINA:  You are exasperating!


Gifs are not mine but I did get permission (because that’s how I roll!).