So, I’m seeing a lot of stuff about this topic pop across my feed. Instead of responding to each one of them individually, I thought I should just go ahead and make a post about it, because nothing says I care like shouting out into the ether. Here’s the comment I put on one friend’s post, that I’m just going to copy over and add to.
I think there should absolutely be a PG 13 cut of Deadpool (bear with me) with one caveat; The cut must have been edited by Deadpool himself in character. Re-dub all curse words with Ned Flanders-esque substitutes, or things like stupidhead and meanieface. Especially if it doesn’t make sense. Cover any boob or butt shots with crudely drawn Mexican foods, and any scenes that are just too dark should be replaced with a white screen and an IC monologue about how pancakes smell like justice and how he’s always wanted a hamster or something equally absurd.
By the end of the movie, have it just be stick figures ninja kicking each other to the sound of screaming goats and bubble wrap. If you haven’t said “What the Fuck?!” in front of the child you were trying to protect from the boobs and naughty language, it wasn’t done correctly.