smell these oh my god

“Fuck, Fred has been staring at me for like….3 minutes.  I’m just going to keep acknowledging the crowd and..uh…just pretending I don’t see him.

“yum, Taylor smells like parmesan.  he must be so cool.  he must have a dreamcast back at his place with Quake 3.  God I wanna hang out with him so bad and play some Quake 3.  I would get the rocket laun-oh my god he smells like CHICKEN parm.  Lord…this is making me Fredhead sweat and my neck won’t stop throbbing…”

I’M DAVE GROHL.  I-I’M DAVE GROHL.  I AM DAVE GROHL.  GROHL, DAVE GROHL.  YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME FROM FOOB-FOO FIGHTERS!  I’M DAVE GROHL.  I GET IN AS MANY VH1 ALT ROCK DOCUMENTARIES AS I POSSIBLY CAN.

domestic zimbits
  • Netflix or Chill
  • “Did you clear my browser history?” “…no?”
  • drinking from the carton
  • “I can’t find my toothbrush, I used yours.”
  • leaving something rotting in the fridge for weeks just to see who will break and throw it away first 
  • “Does this smell clean?”
  • snoring / sleep talking
  • eating all of something and lying about it even though there is literally no one else who could have done it 
  • assorted bathroom situations: clipping toenails, cleaning your ears, zits/pimples, picking your nose, etc.
  • accidentally injuring your partner and apologizing every five minutes for the next month
  • passive-aggressively not washing each other’s dishes 
  • “Hey, you smell that?” “No? What – Oh, my god!”
  • eating in bed going from acceptable to unacceptable overnight 
Keep me warm and safe

Summary: Dorky Firefighter!Phil and Student/Bookstore saleperson!Dan who likes to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Based on prompt: “My dumb ass of a room mate just set the microwave on fire and you’re one of the firemen who showed up and now I’m need an ambulance cause damn ur hot.” (Prompt by @phan-cannons)

Read it on ao3!

Word count: 2.1k

A/N: I wrote this on a whim, honestly, but I am interested if anyone would like me to write more, because I would gladly take this as a side-project in between USQANF? chapters!

Keep reading

There are people who just., Drink sparkling water. as if it is Refreshing.? I just tried to give sparkling water one (1) chance but I’m suffering. except I gotta tough it out bc I’m in public and I can’t tarnish my honor,,, this is literally the very same bitterness of mortality referenced by Lord Elrond. I have made a terrible mistake

5

Moar little red au  (*ノ º □ º )ノ ♥

APH New Zealand: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body.

APH Australia: Oh my God, mate, relax. Mate, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay?

APH New Zealand: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Aussie, never once.

APH Australia: Yeah well, you never seen me once wash my testicles either but that doesn’t mean I don’t do it every Friday.

best avengers to cuddle pile with

steve puts off so much heat hes particularly good when you have sore muscles

thor is just a giant person and therefore very comforting to cuddle with plus he takes it really seriously

nat is great if youre feeling vulnerable because you know shell watch your back and murder anyone who comes for you right in the face

pepper always brings really soft top shelf blankets to a cuddle pile and oh my god she smells amazing

I'm Just The Pizza Guy- Brendon Urie Imagine

~TW: domestic abuse~

You sit in your room with your best friend, watching some movie they had picked out. You were so engrossed in the film that when the door bell rang, you both jumped.

 "That scared the shit outta me.“ You say and stand up to go answer the door, fairly certain that it’s the pizza guy, the cute one that always flirts with you. He always delivers on the weekends and you just happen to always order on the weekends so you’ve met multiple times. He’s about your age but you wouldn’t know. Hell, you don’t even know his name but you kind of consider yourselves friends. You open the door and sure enough, there he is. 

 "Hey.” He smiles.

 "Hi. Oh my god, I can smell the jalapeño. It’s smells amaaazing.“ You absolutely love the little jalapeño pepper they put in each box of pizza. He laughs a little and you giggle, handing him the $20 bill and him giving you the pizza.

 "Keep the change,” this was no surprise to him at this point because you always let him keep it. 

 "Thanks.“ He shoots you a million dollar smile as he walks away. You just nod and shut the door. You take the box upstairs and put it on the bed next to (Y/F/N).

 "What took you so long?” They ask without taking their eyes off the tv and blindly grabbing a slice. You smile to yourself. 

 "Nothing.“

 ~~~~~~ANOTHER WEEK LATER~~~~~~

 "Get the fuck out of my house you fucking asshole!” Your boyfriend, Michael, pushes you roughly aside and storms towards the door.

 "Fuck you!“ He slams the door. 

You stand in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to do. Michael has never been the nicest guy but after he cooled down he was always so apologetic and you always forgave him. You always thought things would get better but they’re not. They’re actually getting worse. You reach your hand to touch your cheek where it was burning from the contact his hand made with your face a few minutes ago. This was nothing new; but today, for some reason it really made you think.

 You sit on the ground quietly sobbing into the sleeves of your hoodie when all of a sudden, there’s an knock on the door which makes you jump. You think it’s one of three things : Michael coming back to get his stuff, Michael coming back to apologise, or Michael coming back to make sure he shut you up well enough. The person knocks again and anxiety runs through your veins.

 "It’s Marie’s pizza!” A male voice yells through the door. You sigh in relief. 

“I forgot he made me order that fucking pizza.” You unlock and open the door to reveal a boy in a black tshirt and black jeans, holding a pizza box and a receipt. The boy smiles and hands you the pizza. 

 "Hey, stranger. Long time, no see.“ He laughs a little and you smile in return.

 "I saw you last Friday, doofus.” You hear him giggle as you dig the cash out of your pocket and hand it to him. You look up and he just stares at you for a couple seconds, as if he’s waiting for you to say something. You chuckle and roll your eyes. 

 "You know I don’t want change. Get outta here.“ He winks before turning and walking back to his car. 

You watch his long legs stride down the driveway before you shut the door, smiling to yourself. You set the pizza on the counter and go to get a plate from the cabinet. You pick up a slice and start to put it on the plate when you realise that you’re not gonna want to come back down for more so you just take the whole box up to your room and never come out the rest of the night.

 ~~~~~~~NEXT WEEK~~~~~~~~

 It’s Friday night again and of course, Michael is asleep in your bed as you shower, washing off the blood and dirt from the brutal beating you’d just received. He was not happy about that fact that you were talking to another boy besides him while he wasn’t around. You were only catching up with a friend but when he saw you it was all over. You have bruises up and down your arms, your ribs hurt, and you’re pretty sure you have a black eye. None of it matters though, it’s not anything some concealer can’t cover up, you never really leave the house anyway. You sigh and continue trying to wash away the pain as the pinkish coloured water runs down the drain.

 Once you’re done, you throw on some leggings and a tshirt and then put a hoodie on because your house seems so much colder than usual. For a second you think maybe it’s Michael’s presence that makes your house seem so less warm and cozy but you shake the thought, deciding it was stupid. You’re drying your hair with a towel when you hear a knock at the door. Pizza. It’s like the rainbow after the hurricane. This also means you’ll see the cute pizza boy. You almost skip to the door to answer it. When you open it you of course see the tall, skinny boy standing on your doorstep. You smile, glad to see him but his face drops. 

 "Oh my god, are you okay?” You wrinkle your forehead in confusion until you see his hand slowly reaching for your face and then you realise that you haven’t covered any of Michael’s damage up. His thumb gently strokes your cheekbone and you can feel the bruise forming there. 

 "Y-yeah. I’m fine. I just…get into trouble sometimes. You should see the other guy.“ You chuckle a little and his eyebrows draw up in sympathy, probably not buying your story at all. You don’t look like the type to get into fights.

 "Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks. You see him glance back in your house, looking for the person responsible for this but there was no one. You simply nod.  

“I promise.” You hold put the cash and he hands you the pizza skeptically but nods. 

 "O-okay. Enjoy your pizza.“ You smile and he does too before going back to his car.

 You set the pizza on the counter, ready to dig into the food but when you open the box, you’re caught off guard by a note written on the inside of the lid in what appears to be black sharpie. ‘I threw some extra peppers in for you :) -Brendon’ He even left a number on the receipt. You grin like an idiot.

 "So pizza boy has a name….” You quietly say to yourself as you pick up one of the jalapeños, taking a bite. You take your food to the couch and enjoy it a lot more than usual. You smile as you watch reruns of Friends on tv and text Brendon, the latter bring your main priority. You find out that he is even more adorable when you exchange more than 3 sentences with him. As you read his texts you could imagine his voice in your head. He was the only thing running through your mind all night and you weren’t made about it at all.

 *******BRENDON’S POV********* 

 It’s Saturday evening and the smell of 4 jalapeño peppers fills my nose as I drive the familiar road to (Y/N)’s house to deliver her pizza. For the past couple weeks, I’ve been putting extra peppers in her boxes since I found out she likes them so much. It’s been a week since I’ve seen her but putting my phone number on that receipt was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

 I pull up at her house and fix my hair in my rear view mirror. I pick up the box and walk up to the door. I knock and hear yelling inside before (Y/N) opens the door. She barely gets the door open halfway before she’s forcefully pulled back by someone. She yells out in pain and then I realise that she’s actually in trouble. I set the pizza on the ground and push the door open to see her boyfriend grabbing her by the shoulders as she sobs and begs him not to hurt her. 

 "Hey!“ I yell. He turns to see me and shoves her to the ground as she whimpers.  

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I say approaching him.

 "Why don’t you mind your own damn business? Who even are you?“ He scowls at me.

 "I’m just the pizza guy…but I don’t let assholes like you go around beating up pretty girls." 

 *********(Y/N)’S POV*********** 

 All of a sudden you hear shoes scuffling on the ground and grunting from people being punched. You can’t even open your eyes to look because you’re basically having a panic attack. You didn’t want Brendon to get hurt but you couldn’t do anything. The yelling and punching goes on for about 3 minutes until you hear someone hit the floor, hard and you pray it’s not Brendon. Someone groans, taking the hits from someone else.

 "Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Her. Ever. Again.” You hear Brendon grit through his teeth in between either punches or kicks, you can’t tell. All you hear is Michael groaning in pain. 

 "Now get out! And don’t fucking come back.“ Brendon yells as you hear Michael shuffling out the house. You keep your eyes shut and stay curled up on the ground. You hear a sigh and the door shutting, then footsteps walking towards you. 

 ”(Y/N). (Y/N), it’s Brendon. It’s okay. He’s gone.“ He places a hand on your shoulder and you flinch a little then relax. You open your eyes and see Brendon kneeling next to you, hair messed up, falling in his face and his nose is bleeding a little. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps his arms under you legs, picking you up and sitting down on the couch with you. 

 "Are you alright?” He asks, you could tell he’s concerned as hell. You nod your head and look up at his face again.

 "Are you okay? You know your nose is bleeding, right?“ He lets out a small chuckle and nods.

 You stand up and he stays seated on the couch, wondering what you’re doing. You hold out your hand and he takes it. You lead him upstairs to the bathroom and close the toilet lid, motioning for him to sit on it. He does so as you get the rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls from the mirror cabinet. You press the cotton ball against the opening of the bottle and tilt it down, soaking the cotton in alcohol. You stand in front of Brendon and start dabbing his cuts on his face and cleaning the spots of blood. He winces a little and you apologise but continue. Once you’re done he smiles and thanks you. You just sit on his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. Brendon wraps his arms around you and you guys just sit in silence for a few moments. 

 "You didn’t get in a fight, did you?” He asks referring to a couple weeks ago when he saw your black eye and bruised face. 

 "No.“ You whisper out as tears begin to fall down your face. Brendon sighs.

 "Oh my god…..how long has he been doing this to you, (Y/N)?” You stay silent for a couple seconds before answering. 

 "A few months. But if you would’ve asked me a few months ago if I thought it would end up this, I would’ve been offended that you’d even think Michael would do something like that.“ You shake your head in shame.

 "I don’t even know how this happened…” Your voice strains as you begin to cry harder. Brendon rubs your back, trying to calm you down.

 "Hey, look at me.“ You sniffle and sit up to be face to face with him. He uses his thumbs to wipe away your tears. 

 "He’s an absolute dick. He didn’t deserve to ever have you, alright?” His hands cup your face. 

 "And I just want you to know that I’d never ever hurt you in any way. I never want to see you cry. You’re too beautiful to cry.“ You sniffle and smile, looking down before you look up and place your lips on his. You can feel him smile into the kiss and you wrap your arms around his neck as your lips move in sync. You tangle your hands in his hair and grind your hips down a little which causes him to moan. You pull away to your my breath and he just smirks at you. 

 "Are you too injured to keep going?” He asks you and you shake your head, your chest rising and falling. 

 "Nope. You?“ You ask. 

 "Not at all.” He picks you up and starts carrying you to the closest bedroom with an open door.

 "Good. Let’s do it.“ 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 Here’s the second one! This ones kinda short and it was hard to edit and write cuz I’m on my phone but let me know what you think and requests are open! :)

 - Blue

I want to read something where Frisk teaches Sans and Papyrus about human skeletons and stuff and then they get to the topic of being double jointed, and Sans and Papyrus don’t know what it is, so Frisk shows them by complete 360 degree turning their arm and Sans and Papyrus are fucking horrified and start screaming and crying

The Love Square, Fanfiction VS Canon

Adriennette in Fanfictions

Adrien : O my god I had never noticed Marinette was so adorable and beautiful and everything Mari I love you you smell like cookies
Marinette : *blushes and stutters* Oh my god he’s so handsome kiss me Adrien

Canon Adriennette

Marinette : *stutters and blushes and falls*
Adrien : *doesn’t notice a shit*

Ladrien in Fanfictions

Adrien : *blushes*
Ladybug : *blushes and stutters* I love you, Adrien !

Canon Ladrien

Adrien : *blushes*
Ladybug : *blushes and stutters*

Lady Noir in Fanfictions

Ladybug : He’s not Adrien but he’s always there I love him he’s so cute and everything
Cat Noir : I’m here for you Milady I love you

Canon Lady Noir

Cat Noir : NOTICE ME SENPAI
Ladybug : Let’s keep it professional kitty

Marichat in Fanfictions

Cat Noir : You’re beautiful kind cute I’ll protect you Princess
Marinette : Oh my god Cat Noir I love you so much
Both : *sin, a lot of sin*

Canon Marichat

Cat Noir : Hey Princess look I got muscles and I’m strong and I saved you gosh I’m awesome and how does it feel like to be save by my magnificent self
Marinette : oh god why

anonymous asked:

BRI HELP ME I JUST MET DAVEED DIGGS AND HES SO NICE LIKE OH MY GOD AND HE SMELLS AMAZING AND HANDS ARE SUPER SOFT BUT LIKE KINDA COLD

that’s awesome!! i’m happy for you lol

harryhenry1  asked:

Favourite bit of trivia: It was hard for Carrie Fisher to really hate Tarkin because his actor (Peter Cushing) was 1. really nice, and 2. smelled like lavender because Peter was self-conscious about bad breath.

oh… my god… this is beautiful. Lavendertarkin would make a great url…