smell these oh my god

When you not prepared to get pussy...

Me: Masturbates multiple times in 1 day out of boredom😒  

(Later on that day, Took a Shower, now chilling with homies)

Originally posted by harlena-quinner

Me: (Gets a Call from GF)

GF: Want to come over so we can have sexy time? 😏😊

Originally posted by lokatiemidze

Me: Nah babe, I’m good, we can just chill another time. 

GF: What bitch you been fucking?! I’m about to come over & smell your dick! Is my pussy not good enough?! 🔪🚬👿 

Originally posted by blog-of-hide

Me: oh my god… 

GF: THATS WHAT THAT OTHER BITCH HAD U SAYING, ILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH! IM OMW!!😡 

Originally posted by ionlywannaseeyousmile

Me: Bruuuuh just chill it ain’t like that, 😕 

GF: I’m outside, open the door! 

Originally posted by animamlp

Me: (sends homie outside to tell her calm down)

Homie: 

Originally posted by butlercat

Gf: 

Originally posted by gamergoodgirl

Homie: I tried man, you have to face her now…

Originally posted by xxshadowxxpro

Me: (Opens the door)

Originally posted by indomitablefocus

Me : Oh My Fuck….

Originally posted by rapidrouge

All because i kept my hands to myself…

GF: I just wanna talk babe

Originally posted by theyandereblog

Me: Nah I’m good (runs back in the house)

Originally posted by kazucrash

GF: (Busts the door down)

Originally posted by bisky

GF: Give me my dick right now

Originally posted by uuvine

Me: (Dick gets hard but is still sore from earlier)

My Dick: We were not prepared for this!, but we have no choice…

Originally posted by luna-ly

Me: Lets get it!

where the lines overlap (m)

Originally posted by kths

jimin x reader red strings of fate soulmates! au

8.8k words

rated m for dirty talk, creampie kink, idk i just wanted to write a jimin soulmate au but whoops my finger slipped?? :/

recommended music: where the lines overlap by paramore! it’s my favourite paramore song EVER :)

Summary: there’s an ancient Chinese folklore of the red strings of fate that connect one person to another. These two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, and the magical, invisible thread may tangle or stretch, but it will never sever. You’ve never believed in these mystical threads of fate like everyone else, but one day you suddenly gain the ability to see the threads connecting the people around you.


The door slams shut, jolting you out of your peaceful reverie. If it had been anyone else, you’d be beyond annoyed to be interrupted while doing your weekly readings, but not when it’s him. The person in question knocks gently on your door before peeking his head in, strands of his bleached dove gray hair spilling over into his eyes, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of him.

“Hey, I got dinner on the way back,” Jimin’s cheeks round out into a smile that reaches all the way to the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. Every time he comes home he’s constantly sweaty and worn out, but it’s part and parcel of the life he chose as a dance major.

Tossing aside your notes, you follow him out into the small dining area of your shared apartment, still in your sweats. When he makes a move to sit at the table, you give him a playful swat on his chest.

“Shouldn’t you wash up first? If I’d known you were this gross, I wouldn’t have agreed to room with you two years ago,” you pretend to wrinkle your nose at his sweaty form, all while ignoring the way his shirt is moulded to his chest.

“Says the one still in her sweatpants. Looks like someone isn’t that hungry tonight,” Jimin smirks back, reaching across the table to grab the box of takeout that you were in the midst of opening. “I could totally do with those extra calories after Hoseok hyung cracked down on us today…”

“I’m just kidding Chim,” you hastily snatch back the takeout box just as he opens the lid of it, the delicious smell of hot noodles and fried pork slices wafting into the air. “Oh my god this smells so good, I’ve been starving all day!”

“Wait, Jinwoo didn’t come by? It’s your free day right? I thought he usually comes by to hang out in the afternoons,” Jimin pauses in his chewing to study your expression carefully, but you’re too busy inhaling mouthfuls of stir fried noodles.

“Jinwoo oppa said he was busy today,” you say around a mouthful of vegetables and noodles. “He has that huge midterm coming up next week, so I told him he should stay home and study.”

Jimin looks like he’s about to say something snide about your boyfriend of nearly 6 months, so you stuff a large piece of meat into his mouth instead.

“Yes I know, he was busy last week and the week before that too, but we’ve been dating for a while so we don’t need to see each other so often. We’re over that honeymoon stage already.” You say in a dismissive tone, focusing on chasing the remaining few strands of noodles around with your chopsticks and avoiding his gaze.

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Imagine Your OTP
  • Person A: HEY B!
  • Person B: Yeah?
  • Person A: Smell my hair.
  • Person B: Sure. (Sniffs hair) Oh god! That is so strong.
  • Person A: I know, right? I'm LOVING this new product.
  • Person B: Yeah, good for you.
  • Person B internally: God that's GROSS.
domestic zimbits
  • Netflix or Chill
  • “Did you clear my browser history?” “…no?”
  • drinking from the carton
  • “I can’t find my toothbrush, I used yours.”
  • leaving something rotting in the fridge for weeks just to see who will break and throw it away first 
  • “Does this smell clean?”
  • snoring / sleep talking
  • eating all of something and lying about it even though there is literally no one else who could have done it 
  • assorted bathroom situations: clipping toenails, cleaning your ears, zits/pimples, picking your nose, etc.
  • accidentally injuring your partner and apologizing every five minutes for the next month
  • passive-aggressively not washing each other’s dishes 
  • “Hey, you smell that?” “No? What – Oh, my god!”
  • eating in bed going from acceptable to unacceptable overnight 
2

East of Nowhere - Year Five

Master Post Here

Sam x Female Reader

Summary: You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Part six of a seven part series, each chapter detailing the events of one year.

Author’s Notes: Beta’d by the goddess divine: @elliewinchesterr

If you’d like to be added to the tags just drop me an ask.

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, gore and explicit sexual content.

Word Count: 4600+

Your name: submit What is this?



Four Years, Six Weeks

Sometimes you stand naked in from the full length mirror in the bathroom and look at the shiny pink scar on your stomach that bears a stunning similarity to a washed up fish bone. Running the pads of your fingers over the raised skin you think about Sam, as if you’re rubbing a locket that reminds you of his unwavering love. A different version of yourself would be bothered by it, the tough, mangled flesh that healed without concern for aesthetics. But you feel grateful for Sam and, in a strange way, appreciative that Shadow Hill exists.

You’re lucky to be alive, this is your daily reminder.

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Forelsket - Part 2

Characters - Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff

Word Count - 3407

Warnings - Language

Forelsket -  (Norwegian) That overwhelming euphoric feeling you experience when you’re falling in love with someone

A/N - I’m so excited about this soulmate AU that I basically have been writing it non-stop so far. The feedback from you guys is what keeps me going, tbh. Your boyfriend Bucky or your soulmate Steve, who do you go for?

Forelsket Masterlist

You knew that bringing Steve back to your apartment probably wasn’t the best idea but you didn’t know what else to do. Being seen out in the open on campus wasn’t something that you could risk, which you should’ve considered before you kissed him.

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  • McCree: *struts up to Mercy wearing Sex Panther* Hey sweetcheeks, got an invite I’d like to extend yer way.
  • Mercy: *turns around to reply, starts sniffing* Oh my god… what is that smell?
  • McCree: That’s the smell of desire, m'lady.
  • Mercy: God, no, it smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food… Ugh! Excuse me.
  • McCree: Y'know desire smells like that to some people-
  • Morrison: What is that!? It smells like a turd covered in bird hair!
  • Tracer: IT SMELLS LIKE WINSTON’S DICK!
  • submitted by libellulesandmariposas
4th of July - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 1816

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Unbeta’d. All Mistakes are mine. Gifs aren’t mine. Credit to the owners. 

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist


“Daddy stop!” JoJo’s giggles could be heard throughout the bunker and you made your way to the source, trying to find out just how Dean was torturing your daughter to elicit that kind of laughter. “Daddy!”

“What?” He questioned, a smile of his own lighting up his face. “I’m trying to get you to wave it right! Now go!” He grabbed her arm that was holding a tiny American flag and shook it violently, waving the flag every which way making her whole body shake. You couldn’t resist snapping a picture of them playing before making your presence known.

“You really love torturing her, don’t you?” You stood in the doorway, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning against the doorframe, completely enthralled in watching them battle one another. “And what are you even wearing?” Dean Winchester before JoJo would never have been caught dead in a red, white, and blue star necklace and a sequined 4th of July hat, but damned if he wasn’t wearing one now.

“It’s patriotic, Y/N/N. Where’s your 4th of July stuff?”

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Big Win [Stiles Lacrosse Week Smut]

Author: @dylan-ohbrien
Pairing: Stiles x Reader
Word Count: 3,285
Warnings: Smut (Oral male & female receiving), language that’s about it ;)
A/N: So this is my first time writing a Stiles fic and I thought what better first than one for lacrosse week? I wrote this in a few hours and I haven’t done that in forever so I’m pretty proud of myself for that lol, that being said, I’m sure there are errors that I missed. It’s just kinda cute and smutty so I hope you guys like it! :)

Originally posted by itsbecauseteenwolf

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Before It’s Too Late (part 5)

Summary: Bucky starts dating a girl from his History of Art class. The only problem: you’re in love with him. College AU.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: just some good ol’ fluff

A/N: gonna put some pictures in here, hope ya don’t mind :)

“What did you get Nat?”

“These earrings she’s been dying to have.” You say. “I got them a while back for her. They’re in my bag at home.”

Bucky sighed. “What do I get her? She’s so picky.”

“I dunno. Something she likes?”

“That’s the problem; I don’t know what she likes.” He lets out a groan. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna get her a cheap ass necklace.”

You shake your head, following him to the jewelry section.

“Which one should I get… hmm…” he scanned the necklaces. “Should I get her an elephant one or the one with the letter ‘N’ on it?” before you could share your thoughts he hummed. “I’m gonna get the one with the ‘N’ on it. Maybe she’ll think it’s meaningful or something.”

You laugh and look down at your list of names while Bucky tosses the necklace into his cart.

“Hey, what’d you get Sam?” you ask, looking up at your friend.

He grinned. “Shampoo and conditioner.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yeah I did.” He reaches into his cart and shows the bottles to you. “Sam always complains about how we don’t have any ‘manly’ shampoo and conditioner in our apartment so I got him some.”

You snort. “You don’t have any manly shampoo and conditioner?”

“Nope. Steve and I use the one you use. You know, the one that smells really good?”

“Oh my god why.”

Bucky shrugs. “We like how it smells. Plus the ladies like how it smells too.”

You playfully roll your eyes and start walking away.

“What’d you get him?” Bucky questioned, coming up next to you.

“Ima get it right now.”

“Well what is it?”

“You’ll see.”

Bucky looks at his list as well before biting his bottom lip. “Alright well you go get that and I’m gonna get Peggy, Wanda, Tony, Clint and Vision’s gifts.”

“What’re you gonna get Vis?”

“Eh, I dunno. I heard he likes to paint so maybe I’ll get him some paints.” He shrugged.

“Ooo! We can go to Michaels for that and I can get him some canvases there!” you exclaim.

“Alright. Where are you gonna be so I can find you when I’m done?” he asked.

“Probably where the picture frames are.”

Bucky nods and with a salute he turns and walks in the opposite direction. You continue your way until you reach the photo printer and you smiled as you turned on your Bluetooth.


Bucky had just got done getting Clint’s gift and stretched before heading over to the picture frames where you said you’d be. He casually walked through the store in search for the isle which held the picture frames and smiled when he found it and you who was looking at some of them.

“Hey.” Bucky greeted.

“Hey.” You acknowledge him.

“So what’d you get Sam?”

“It’s in that little envelope thing.” You nod over to your cart and Bucky strolls over to it. He picks up the envelope and pulls out the pictures that were in it.

Bucky chuckled. “Aww this is the one I took.” he goes through the other two and his eyebrows knit together before looking up at you. “Y/N, you do know these three pictures are the same, right?”

You grab a picture frame and put it in your cart before smiling. “I know. One’s for Sam, one’s for Tony and one’s for Clint.”

“You’re a horrible gift-giver.” Bucky laughed as he put away the pictures.
“Getting a picture of me is the best gift of all.” You tell him. “You gotta admit, I’m pretty cute.”

The brunette smiled. “You are pretty cute, huh?”

That wasn’t the response you thought he’d give you. You were thinking more along the lines of “you’re sadly mistaken” or “actually I’m pretty cute, not you”. Taken aback you stare at him, not knowing what to say or how to continue that conversation. Bucky stares at you as well, a shy smile on his face like he realized what he had just said. The tall man looks away and you clear your throat.

“Alright so I’m pretty much done here. I ran and got Bruce some science-y looking shirt now all I need is Steve and Vision.” You change the subject.
“What about Wanda and Peggy?”

“I got Wanda a gift card to Forever 21 yesterday when we went shopping and when we get home I have to order Peggy’s.” you respond.

“What’re you getting her?”

“The Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance palette. She’s been dying for it.”

Bucky made a face. “The who?”

You roll your eyes. “It’s makeup.”

“Oh.” He scoffed. “You should’ve just said that to begin with.”

You chuckle and shake your head before nodding over to his cart. “What’d you get?”

Bucky grinned. “Well I got Wanda a pretty headband and I got Peggy red lipstick because she always wears red lipstick – oh! I got Tony a telescope but a cheap one and I got Clint a bow and arrow from the toy section.”

“You really don’t like spending money on your friends, huh Bucky?” you giggle, picking up the toy bow and arrow and examining it.

“What? I do. I’m just low on cash.”

“What’d you spend it on? Unnecessary things?”

Bucky puts his hands on his hips. “It’s none of your business.”

“Whatever, cheapskate. Let’s go and pay so we can go to Michaels and get Vis his things.”


After getting Vision his gifts you and Bucky went to Best Buy to get Steve his gift. Bucky was shocked when he saw you pick up a box with a record player on it.

“You didn’t.” he gasped as you turned to face him.

“I did.” You smiled.

After paying for it you both head home and carry everything up to your room. The two of you set everything in the corner before falling onto your bed.

“I still can’t believe you actually got him a record player.” Bucky breathed, turning to you.

“He’s been wanting one and I know he collects records so why not?” you shrug, turning Bucky’s way.

“I feel like a shitty friend now. I’ve known the punk basically my whole life and all I got him was socks.” He frowned.

“That’s what happens when you’re a cheapskate.” You murmur.

“Shut up.”

You laugh and Bucky breaks out in a smile. The two of you continue to look at each other, much similar to earlier in the store but it wasn’t long until Bucky broke the staring and silence.

“So, what’d you get me?”

You scoff. “I’m not telling you.”

“Why not?” he pouted.

“Because it’s a surprise.”

“But I wanna know now.”

“Fine. Tell me what you got me and then I’ll tell you.”

“NO.”

“Then I’m not telling you.” You shrug.

“Whatever, we’re staying here together so I’ll figure out what it is eventually.” He replied.

“I doubt it.”
Bucky hummed and stared at you, looking from your eyes to your nose then down to your lips where his gaze lingered longer. You shift and lay your head on your bed, causing a strand of hair to fall in your face but before you could move it, Bucky reached up and tucked it behind your ear. You inhaled sharply, his eyes piercing you and you tried to look away but you couldn’t.

His fingers slid down until they were on your cheek and his thumb caressed the skin under it. His eyes went back to your lips and he bit his own before slowly leaning in. You exhale slowly, watching him get closer and closer, your lips nearly touching and they would have if you hadn’t gasped and sat up.

“I uh… I have to go order the makeup for Peggy!” you exclaim, jumping up from the bed.

“Y/N.” he spoke softly, sitting up but you brushed him aside.

“The laptop’s downstairs and I’ll probably be down there until dinner’s ready so I’ll come get you when it’s done.” And awkward pause sets in and you grab your phone and rush to the door. “Alright, bye.”

And with that, you leave your room.

Bucky stares at the door before laying back down and letting out a much needed sigh.


A/N: oh man, oh man, oh man. Hope ya liked this part, tell me what ya think! And as always, I’ll edit when I wake up!

Tags:

@your-puddin@heismyhunter @buchananbarnestrash @live-in-the-now10 @jcb2k16 @plumqueenbucky @thefandomplace @chocolatereignz @blueberry-pens @professionally-crazed @idk-something-amazing-i-guess @almondbuttercup @janetgenea @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @rvb-and-marvel-shit @rosyskies @winterboobaer @thyotakukimkim @hattnco @millaraysuyai @themercurialmadhatter @miss-jessi29 @snakesgoethe @helloitsgrc @welcometothecasmofsar @aboxinthestars @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @fandomaniacxx @hatterripper31 @coffeeismylife28 @bunchofandoms @bobabucky @under-dah-sea @amrita31199 @sebstanthemanxo @mrs-brxghtside @marvelrevival @amistillmyself @buckyandsebsinbin @ballerinafairyprincess @spnhybrid @marvel-fanfiction @queen–valeskaxx @bucky-with-the-metal-arm @sophs-the-name @fstobsessed @rebekastan98 @gingerbatchwife @hellstempermentalangel @wunnywho @lenia1d @annieluc @theassetseyeliner @yikesbuckster @iamwarrenspeace @goldenrain2 @supernatural-girl97 @satanssmuts @jayankles @fuckmesebby @lilasiannerd @liffydaze @cassandras-musings @broken-pieces @4theluvofall @minervaem @tatortot2701 @kalenajdgaf-blog @rda1989 @avc212 @nylalushlifexx @alwayshave-faith @casdoesntunderstandthatreference  @alternativelycliche @alicubi-in-astra @torchwoodoctor @i-had-a-life-once @steggy4ever @damnbuckyishot @feelmyroarrrr @skeletoresinthebasement @clinicalkayla @learisa @distinguishedqueenofbooks @mizzzpink @three-emptywords @zofty15 @sofiadiaz04 @bvckys-doll @marvelous-fvcks @whyisbuckyso @buckysvoicee @theimpalasdoctorin221b @greeneyedgirls4 @sapphire1727 @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @hollycornish

Keep me warm and safe

Summary: Dorky Firefighter!Phil and Student/Bookstore saleperson!Dan who likes to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Based on prompt: “My dumb ass of a room mate just set the microwave on fire and you’re one of the firemen who showed up and now I’m need an ambulance cause damn ur hot.” (Prompt by @phan-cannons)

Read it on ao3!

Word count: 2.1k

A/N: I wrote this on a whim, honestly, but I am interested if anyone would like me to write more, because I would gladly take this as a side-project in between USQANF? chapters!

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Park Chanyeol//Feasible - Part 5

Originally posted by pcyeolkenthusiast

Prompt: You’re a work-for-hire girl - for the criminals and criminally rich. Your job is to threaten, steal from, frighten or hurt whoever you’ve been employed to - but your newest job involves a person you swore you’d never talk to again. Someone who brought you into this entire business - and tried to get you out. Someone who, should you accept this challenge, would open a Pandora’s box of disaster…( 1/ 2/ /3 /4 /5 /6)
Scenario: AU, angst, series
Word Count: 3,597

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9.5.16 | 7:08 PM // I finally get time to myself to do some more precal revision. I cooked the dinner for later tonight and baked some lemon cupcakes the cupcakes smelled so good oh my god

2

“Niall.” You whispered and at first you didn’t think he heard you, so you slowly wiggled your body closer to him. You nudged your feet between his knees and when you felt his body jerk you knew he was awake. He threw the covers off his body making them land on you as he sat up and rubbed his eyes a bit before turning and looking at you. You couldn’t help but give him a smile as he looked at you with droopy eyes.

“Ya need somethin love?” His voice was horse due to just waking up, he ran his hands through his hair as he let out a yawn as he looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Bloody hell its half past four in da mornin.” You just rolled your eyes as you got up out of bed and walked over to him.

“We could really go for some cookies and peanut butter.” You placed your hands on his cheeks and gave them a squeeze. “We are starving.” He just let out a light laugh as you took your hand away from his face. He placed his hands on your growing tummy and slowly started rubbing circles.

“My girls are hungry?” You just nodded and smiled as he stopped rubbing circles on your belly and reached around you to grab his keys off his nightstand. “Let’s get on da road then, don’t wanna get stuck in da 5am rush hour.” You just laughed as you turned around and headed to the closet to slip on some comfy pants and your shoes.

Soon you and Niall were parked outside the closest grocery store to your house. He was still half asleep but you were wide awake and on the prowl for anything that would satisfy your craving. You were out of the car and headed into the store before Niall could even unbuckle himself.

“Slow down love, the store isn’t goin anywhere.” You just rolled your eyes as you stopped and waiting for Niall to catch up to you. He grabbed your hand before the two of you ventured off into the store looking for the certain items you were craving at the moment.

“Hmm do I want double stuffed or just regular Oreos?” You tapped your index finger on your chin as you took in your options. “Oh! Niall they have Oreo thins!” You grabbed the box of cookies before you turned around and when you saw Niall leaning on the basket with his eyes half closed you couldn’t help but smile. You slipped the box of cookies into the cart and slid out your phone so you could capture the moment.

“Oi! I’m up!” He shot up and looked around as the sound of the camera went off. You just laughed and leaned over the basket and placed a kiss to his cheek. “What did ya pick lovey?” He looked down into the cart and shook his head when he saw the two jars of peanut butter, one smooth and one crunchy and two boxes of Oreo thins.

“Just some late night snacks.” You answered as you continued down the aisle making sure there wasn’t anything else you and the growing baby in your tummy wanted. “Oh babe! They have beef jerky!” You immediately took off towards the stand holding the bags of beef jerky and your mouth instantly started to water as you looked at all the flavors.

“Love, do ya think all this is gonna be good t'gether?” You heard the wheels of the cart coming up behind you and soon you felt his chin resting on your shoulder. He turned his head and gave your neck a quick kiss as one of his hands came and squeezed your hip.

“We want it,” you grabbed the original flavored jerky and before he could say anything you opened the package and took out a piece giving it a smell before popping it into your mouth. “Oh my god.” It came out more like a moan causing Niall’s eyes to go a bit wide as he looked around making sure no one was paying attention to the two of you.

“Uhm lovey ya tink we could get a move on now?” He asked as you slowly started making your way towards the front of the store. You just nodded as you placed another piece of jerky in your mouth causing Niall to lightly laugh and shake his head.

“Thank you babe, we love you.” Was all you said to him as you walked further ahead of him towards a check out lane. He just watched you walk ahead of him and couldn’t help but smile as he noticed your walk was turning more into a slight waddle due to the belly that was continuously growing. He couldn’t help but imagine how soon there would be an infant carrier in the basket and grocery shopping would be an event instead of just a quick pop in and out trip.

He also knew this was only the beginning of the craving stage of your pregnancy, he didn’t mind the midnight snack runs or in this case the early morning snack runs. Just like he didn’t mind when you would steal his shirts because that’s the only thing fitting you at the moment, he didn’t mind holding your hair as you got sick due to something you ate not agreeing with the baby growing inside you. He would do anything for you if you told him it would make you and the baby happy, the little girl inside your tummy already had him wrapped around her finger and he was totally okay with it.