smaugs ramblings

The Hobbit would have been way different if Bilbo had been Bella I swear

FIRST OF ALL Thorin would not have gotten away with treating her like shit

Secondly can we please imagine her up against Smaug?

“LISTEN HERE YOU OVERGROWN GECKO YOU GIVE MY BOYFRIEND BACK HIS MOUNTAIN”

TAKE the goddamn Arkenstone that thing gives me heartburn”

“I HAVE SURVIVED 50 CHRISTMASES WITH LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS AND YOU THINK IM AFRAID OF YOU?”

“I HAVE SHOOED BIGGER LIZARDS THAN YOU OUT OF MY BATHTUB WIPE THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE’