Kyungsoo: Oh my fuckin god I said I would be nice to the wench did I not?
Jackson: See you’re already calling her names! Mom!
Me: Kyungsoo when Hyuna gets here I expect you to be nice.
Jongin: You’ll survive this jagiyah.
Jackson: She’s here!
Me: It’s almost cute how excited he is.
Kyungsoo: Key word is almost.
Jackson: Hyuna! I’m glad you could make it.
Hyuna: Of course babe, I wouldn’t bail on something as important as meeting your mom.
Kyungsoo: *mumbling* Wish you had bailed on saying yes to dating my brother…
Jongin: Stop it…
Hyuna: Jongin! I see you’re looking as sexy as ever. How are you doing?
Jongin: Umm I’m fine Hyuna, it’s nice to see you. How are you?
Hyuna: *giggling* I’m great, oh Kyungsoo I almost didn’t see you there. How are you?
Kyungsoo: It’s okay the ignorant are blind to many things Hyuna, but I’m doing well.
Hyuna: It’s fine Jackson, Kyungsoo likes to think he has jokes is all.
Kyungsoo: A whole arsenal sweetheart.
Jackson: Whatever, can y'all both chill just for tonight? For me?
Me: Dinner is ready guys. You must be Hyuna, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.
Hyuna: Hopefully only good things ma'am.
Me: For the most part, but it really depends on how you define good.
*at the dinner table*
Me: So Hyuna, tell me, what are your plans for after high school?
Hyuna: Umm well I plan to move to New York and try out for different dance companies. I would love to dance back up for like Beyonce or someone maybe one day get into choreographing for top stars as well.
Jackson: You’re a really good dancer, so you shouldn’t have any problems.
Me: Oh how cute.
Me: Do you have a backup plan in case dancing doesn’t work out?
Hyuna: Umm, I haven’t given it much thought. I guess go back to school?
Me: I see, well Hyuna honey, I don’t know if Jackson has told you but I take education very seriously. Even though both my boys plan to go into the arts they will still be going to college. I expect the same from their significant others.
Me: Another thing I would like to know Hyuna. If you don’t mind me asking are the two of you sexually active?
Jackson: Mom! You can’t just ask people about their sex life over a plate of chicken and rice! Do you know how messed up that sounds “Hey are you two screwing? Pass the pepper.” The hell?
Me: Jackson this is nothing new. I did this to Kyungsoo and Jongin when they first started dating, in case you forgot.
Jackson: Yeah but it’s embarrassing.
Me: If you can’t talk about sex maturely then you don’t need to be having it.
Jackson: We can talk about sex, we don’t want to talk about it with you!
Me: And if she gets knocked up who do you think is going to be paying those hospital bills? Exactly. Now shut up and answer my damn question.
Hyuna: If you want to know Ms. Chris we haven’t had sex yet.
Jongin: Don’t you say a damn thing.
Kyungsoo: *whispers* You suck…
Hyuna: I know you’ve probably heard some things about me from certain people in this room, but my reputation really isn’t as bad as it’s made out to seem.
Hyuna: I’m sorry do you have something to say to me Kyungsoo?
Kyungsoo: No, you can continue with your soapbox.
Hyuna: Like I was sa-
Kyungsoo: However I will say that it’s good we don’t have to worry about Jackie catching anything any time soon.
Jongin: Dammit Kyungsoo…
Hyuna: I will never understand why you insist on talking crap about me when you have the title of one of the school whores.
Kyungsoo: Takes a whore to know a whore honey. Does Jackson know about all your past escapades?
Hyuna: Hahaha and does Jongin know about all yours? Believe me Superhead you don’t want to start with me. I have just as much dirt on you.
Kyungsoo: Bitch boo bye. The only thing you have on me is a STD so sit down.
Hyuna: So you mean to tell me Jongin knows about everything you’ve done?
Kyungsoo: We’ve known each other since we were little kids. I’m pretty sure he knows more about me than I do.
Hyuna: So both Jongin AND Jackson know you blew JB in the boys locker room last year?
Jongin: I’m sorry WHAT?!
Kyungsoo: Awe fuck…
Hyuna: Checkmate bitch.
Jackson: BRUH WE SMASHING HOMIES NOW, ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS KYUNGSOO?!
Me: Well shit. I better get some towels for this spilled tea…
Jackson: Mom this isn’t funny!
Me: You right so I’m gonna drink about two more glasses of wine then it will be.