Meredith entered the oncall room, her legs were weak and she didn’t know how she got there. She heard everything he said, about her, about her children, she thought that letting him go would be easier, but her heart told her other way. She sat on one of the beds, she hid her face into her hands and after a moment the first tear drop on the floor.
“Meredith.” she heard Alex’s voice above her head.
“Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.” she wiped the tear with her hand.
“What happened?” Alex jumped off from the bed.
“Megan Hunt happened.” she said looking at him, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy she’s alive, but… why it’s always me? I lost my mother, my childhood, Derek and so many other people and things…”
“You love him?” Alex asked.
“Yes. For the first time since Derek died, I feel like I could make a family with him.”
“Give it some time Mer. We will solve this somehow. Just not now.” he pulled her closer and hugged her.
Meredith put Ellis in the chair, she was already dressed and the only thing left was breakfast. Mer placed the small bowl of apple muss in front of her daughter. It was Friday, and Meredith needed to take her kids to work with her.
“Bailey!” she shouted, “come here or we’ll be late.”
“He’s looking for his shoes, he has a match tomorrow and he can’t find them.” Zola said, eating her cereals.
“Where did he see them last time?”
“He can’t remember.”
“Stay here with Ellis okay?”
Meredith went upstairs, finding her son in the middle of the room with all his sports boots. He was holding his old shoes, dark brown with orange strips, in one hand and an empty bag in the other.
“Bailey, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t find the shoes.” he wined.
“You have them in your hand sweetheart.”
“No. They’re old, uncle Nathan bought me new ones. Dark blue with green, so they match to our team colors.”
“Where did you see them last time?” she asked.
“At uncle Nathan’s place. Maybe we can call him and ask if he could come to my match tomorrow. He will bring the shoes.”
“We’ll see. Now we need to run or mommy will be late for work, okay?”
“Yes.” he said, leaving his bag in the middle of the room.
Nathan walked through the hospital door, he still had one day off, but he forgot about one of the patients and Megan felt good enough to go with him. He let her walk first, when he saw Meredith near the elevators. Nathan didn’t talk to her since Megan’s scans.
“Mommy! It’s uncle Nathan. I’ll ask him about the shoes.” Bailey started to run.
“Bailey stop!” she shouted.
Before she could do anything, her son was already by Nathan’s side, Meredith knew how awkward it would be, he was there with Megan and she felt like someone who lost the war. Meredith walked to them, trying to be nice and don’t let them see how devastated she was inside.
“Sorry. Hope he didn’t scare you.” Meredith asked Megan.
“No. Not at all.”
“Uncle! Uncle! Do you have my training shoes? I have a match tomorrow and I thought you can come. Later mommy will make grill, but you can come too because i don’t know if mommy can use it.” Bailey talked fast.
“Slow down mate!” Nathan smiled, crouching to him. “I think your shoes are in my car. We can see if you want.”
“Yes! I don’t want to play in the old ones.” he smiled, “Will you come to my match tomorrow?” he looked at him with big eyes.
“I don’t know.” he looked at Megan. ”we-”
“Of course we will come. What time is it?” Megan asked.
“Mommy,” he turned to Meredith, “what time is my game at?” he whispered.
“10 am.” she said.
“10 am.” he repeated.
“We will be there and now you need to go for your shoes.” Megan said.
“I’ll take him to the daycare later.” Nathan smiled to Meredith.
“Okay. Thank you.” she answered.
“I’ll wait here.” Megan said, looking at them both.
“Do you like your new girlfriend more than my mommy?” Bailey asked, holding Nathan’s hand.
“She’s not my new girlfriend. She’s my old one.” Nathan explained.
“So, you won’t visit us?” Bailey asked, looking up. “Ellis smashed apple mousse today. It was so funny.” he said.
“Not for mommy thought.”
“No. She was mad, but we weren’t late.” Bailey looked at Nathan, “she’s sad. I heard her crying in the bathroom.”
“Come here.” Nathan said, “I’ll never forget about you, Ellis and Zola. Even if I have a new girlfriend-”
“Old.” Bailey smiled.
“Old girlfriend.” he said “I’ll be present in your life okay?”
“Okay.” he hugged him with his tiny hands on his neck.”
“Come on, we need to find your shoes.” Nathan said, lifting him up.
Meredith was removing Ellis’ stroller from the car, it was Saturday morning and she would give everything to be in her bed, with a warm blanket and tequila in her hand. She was hoping that Nathan was one of those guys who always promise something, but never keep their words. She didn’t want to hurt her son, but looking at his love for another woman for about 90 minutes was too much, even for her.
“Hey! Can I help?” she heard Nathan’s voice.
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.”
“No problem.” he took the stroller from Meredith.
“She went for something to drink.” he said. “Where are the kids?”
“Maggie brought them to find good seats.” Meredith said “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean Bailey to invite you…”
“It’s okay. I would have come anyway.” Nathan touched her cheek, while removing one of the hair from her face.
“Don’t.” she said, taking step back. “it’s hard even if you don’t touch me.”
“I’m-” he started.
“Can we go?” Megan asked, with two bottles in her hands.
“Yeah. We don’t want to be late.”
The match was already started from some time, all of Bailey’s family was sitting in one place, he was happy seeing Nathan on the front sits. Bailey was doing everything to play a good match, he ran, kicked and scored. Every time he did something right, he looked at Nathan and smiled.
“He’s even better than last time.” Nathan said excited.
“I see that.” Megan said, looking at his happy face.
Nathan looked at Meredith, she was cheering up his son, her hair were spread by the wind, her eyes were clear and her cheek were red from the wind. Nathan turned to her, looking straight into her eyes.
“Are you cold?”
“No.” she quickly said.
“If you are… I can give you my blouse.”
“You should offer it to Megan.”
“Oh my God!” Megan shouted, “Bailey just passed out.”
Nathan and Meredith looked at her first and later at the football ground. Her son was laying on the ground, not breathing. They jumped from the sits, leaving Megan and Maggie with the children. When they ran to the unconscious boy, his breath was low and he couldn’t take a breath. Nathan moved him gently, trying to find the source of the injury.
“Mer, call the ambulance! He needs an operation now!” he shouted.
“Nathan,” she looked into his eyes, “I can’t lose him…”
“Meredith call an ambulance now!”
The Grey Sloan Memorial’s hallway was full of people. Megan and Maggie were taking care of the kids while Meredith and Nathan spoke with the doctor. He was new there and Meredith didn’t know if she was ready to give her kid’s life into his hands.
“We need to make a thoracotomy. I made hundreds of that kind of operations.”
“Don’t get me wrong, but I want Nathan to operate.” Meredith looked at the man on her left. “I trust you.”
“I trust you.” she repeated, looking at him.
Meredith was sitting in front of the OR, she needed to sit there, waiting for her son to be operated. She trusted Nathan like no one in the world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“I brought you coffee.” Megan gave her a hot cup.
“Thank you.” Meredith said, “sorry, you both had plans.”
“Stop it! It’s your child and Nathan loves him.” Megan said, ”just like he loves you.”
“No! It’s okay. I came back, you both are…” Megan took a deep breath, “you both are in love.”
“He wants to be with you Megan.”
“He wants to be a good guy. He already is one, but he thinks that I’d fall apart if he leaves and it’s not like that.”
“Thank you for telling me that.”
The door opened loudly, Nathan took of his mask and looked at Meredith. His deep, dark eyes were shining and after second she saw a smile on his face. She stood up, took a step towards him and gave him a tight hug. She looked up and touched his lips with hers. The moment of their touch was the one she was waiting for since forever. Meredith pushed him gently away. She looked behind her shoulder, she didn’t want to hurt Megan in any way, but when she gazed at the chair, Megan was already gone.
“Nathan,” she grabbed his scrub shirt, “I love you.”
P A U S E I T. P L A Y I T. // 1hour // A list of the most memorable mashups I have stumbled upon so far;
i. Royals Come Together | Lorde x The Beatles // ii. Chocolate Stars | Smash Mouth x The 1975 // iii. Radioactive In The Dark | Fall Out Boy x Imagine Dragons // iv. Anything Could Change | Ellie Goulding x Michael Jackson// v.212 Anonymous Haters | Azealia Banks x Sky Ferreira // vi. This Charming Video Game | The Smiths x Lana Del Rey // vii. Happy Team | Pharrell Williams x Lorde // viii. Another One Bites Da Funk | Queen x Daft Punk // ix. It’s Juliet | We The Kings x Imagine Dragons // x. Shake The Scientist | Florence & The Machine x Coldplay // xi. I Am Not Young & Beautiful | Lana Del Rey x Marina And The Diamonds // xii. Thirteen Hearts Thirtyfive Mess | Gotye x Dillon // xiii. Scumbody Told Me | Arctic Monkeys x The Killers // xiv. Titanium City | David Guetta Ft. Sia x M83 // L I S T E N //