I used to be the kind of person that couldn’t say no if I knew someone liked me. Not saying I was easy. Not at all. But I entertained a lot of foolishness to spare people’s feelings. Went on the worst dates, had the strangest phone conversations and accepted a lot of useless gifts. I’m not the person anymore.
I have very little care for material things especially if that is all you have to offer me. I am quite alright without brand names and dollar signs clouding my brain. PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I like nice things and aspire to be financially stable at some point in my life, but my world is not built on the foundation of wealth and my happiness can not be found in money.
I used to joke about being a charmer. I could charm anyone to give me anything. But truth is, with all I had and with all I could get most of the times, I still felt EMPTY. I needed more. I wanted more. I still need more. I still want more.
Settling is not an option for me ANYMORE! I refuse it even acknowledge that this term exists. It only exists for those who are content with just being. I want more than to just be. I have a purpose, a destiny which requires me to do more that settle. And it requires me to do so much more than “exist” ——
I have to LIVE.
Often we hear the quote, "When someone comes into your life, they should COMPLIMENT what already exists, not COMPLETE it.” Although this may sound good, it didn’t really make sense to me until I actually applied it to my life. It helped me realize that some people come into your life automatically thinking what THEY have will make you a BETTER you. Just the mere fact that they pay you attention should make your life THAT much better.
Well …excuse me!
I’m not perfect and couldn’t imagine being with someone who is. God is the only perfection I know his son is who I aspire to be more like. Man is nothing but a melting vessel, allowing themselves to be mended and molded by the experiences of their lives. I want to be mended, molded and completed by God.
I used to be a girl that fell in love at HELLO.
I used to be a woman who was letting her life be controlled by the wealth of man.
I used to be a teacher that thought all students around the world were the same.
I used to settle.
I used to think having a man would complete my “perfect” little life.
I used to exist, but since I have come to China I have found it much easier to LIVE.
By no means am I saying I want to be single for life. Most single women grow old to become very sad women. God did not create us to live our life alone. But, in my time of singleness I will not live looking for someone to be with but I will live knowing that someone out there is looking for me. And when they find me, I will be ready.