“Is it still considered vehicular manslaughter if she isn’t wearing any panties?”, I wondered aloud during a rush hour commute last Thursday. Moments later, I had my BlackBerry in hand, determined to ask the Internet to weigh in on this controversial topic.
Well, not the whole Internet. Google always interrupts or talks over me, Craigslist smells funny, nobody gives a shit about blogs, and I don’t want LinkedIn to find out that I talk like this. Myspace can’t read, so I tried to draw a picture, but it came out looking like a menstruating lioness scissoring a monster truck.
Luckily, Twitter and Facebook are always there to support me when I truly need the opinion of Internet rapists and strangers who are much, much uglier in person. I don’t remember what any of the responses were, but that’s not important. All you need to take away from this post is how much this bitch from the Progressive TV commercials makes me want to wreck a fucking car.
Testing for the national government’s SmartPark program will take place in Tennessee. The Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration plans to test several features new to the system over the next six months.
SmartPark, which is a real-time alert system to help truck drivers find…