smart on crime

A Guide to Follow All True Crime Upcoming Projects on TV

(Updated on July 31, 2017)

Manhunt: Unabomber

Format: Scripted limited series.

Summary: This show focuses on the use of a new way of profiling that the FBI used to catch the Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, who is played by Paul Bettany. Sam Worthington plays FBI agent Jim Fitzgerald and Jane Lynch plays Attorney General Janet Reno. See the trailer here.

Premieres: August 1 2017, in Discovery Channel.

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detectivegeekshin  asked:

Hi~ I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely looove your comics and that everytime I see a new one in the tag they always make my day, so thank you!~ And will you ever draw more of the adventures of tiny baby Shinichi and baby Kaito? They are the cutest in you style btw!

thank you so much! sorry for the delay in answering this, i wanted to have the time to make a little comic to go with it :’)

shinichi’s first arrest! also the first and only time kaito has ever been caught by the fuzz. the next step is to start learning disappearing tricks to get away when shinichi catches him doing something bad, and after that he’ll learn to disguise himself as shinichi to frame him

this is after the boys have finally been colour-coded (and labelled), too. toichi and yusaku are getting better at telling the difference

In a fine old tradition

My physical copy of the new Blue Rose RPG arrived today, and I spent some time reading. I had noted the the continuation of the option to play talking telepathic animals- it’s a fine old tradition in the genre Blue Rose is trying to emulate.

I had not noticed that they’d rather expanded the list of playable talking telepathic animals from the old version.  Before it was just fairly standard. Cats, wolves, horses, etc.

The new Blue Rose includes an option,  as a playable, starting PC: Intelligent, telepathic crocodiles, who like all talking telepathic animals can bond deeply with a chosen human.

And I am -totally down- to play Fantasy Buddy cops  Steve Irwin and his talking telepathic crocodile partner. THEY WILL FIGHT ALL THE CRIME.

Talking to a reporter in 2013, kidnapping victim and rape survivor Elizabeth Smart recollects the conversation she had with her abductor shortly after he led her into the hills behind her family’s home.

At just 14 years old, Elizabeth was abducted from her Utah home one night in 2002 after a man broke in and forced her out of bed. The intruder warned her that if she attempted to make a noise, he would kill her family while they slept. Not wanting to endanger her loved ones, Elizabeth bravely followed his instructions and was led out of the house at knife point. They then walked through the hills behind the home and into dense woodland, and it was during this time that Elizabeth came to recognise her captor. Just months prior to her kidnap, Elizabeth and her mum had given $5 to this man after they saw him begging on the streets, and they even offered him some work. His name was Brian David Mitchell.

Mitchell took her to a temporary camp built deep into the woods, which is where she met his co-conspirator for the first time: Wanda Ileen Barzee. Elizabeth was led into a tent, where Mitchell began performing a wedding ceremony and announced that the young girl was now his wife. Proceeding this, he pushed her onto the ground and raped her. For the next 9 months until her discovery, Elizabeth was moved across the country while being starved, raped and forced to consume illicit substances on what she described as an almost daily basis.

In March 2003, after convincing her captors to return to Utah, Elizabeth Smart was finally rescued. She had even persuaded her captors to hitch-hike in the hopes that somebody would recognise her as a missing person. One citizen did recognise Mitchell and Barzee suspiciously escorting a young child dressed in robes and a veil. Police immediately responded to the call, and the kidnappers were caught and subsequently arrested. Brian Mitchell, now 63 years old, spent 6 six years in a psychiatric institution and is now serving a life sentence as a federal prisoner. Wanda Barzee, now 70 years old, was given 15 years for her involvement.

A-Z Book Recommendation

I heard @macrolit​ started a trend of A-Z Book Recommendations? I may be late to this party but it looked like fun, so here are mine!

(Much to my chagrin I had to cheat on Q and Z; and V is also a bit of a cheat since I haven’t actually finished reading the book yet. On the other hand I did manage to get through it without repeating an author. Enjoy.)

  • The Archer’s Tale by Bernard Cornwell (also published as Harlequin). An adventurous historical fiction novel diving into the life of an English longbow archer in 14th c Europe
  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. One of my favorite books of all time; I sob like a baby every single time I read it. By turns heartwarming and heartwrenching, it tells the story of a young girl growing up in Nazi Germany, stealing books and finding escape and solace in reading. It is beautiful and unusual in its style, narrated by Death and painted in vivid imagery.
  • The Chimes by Anna Smaill. A moving and strange dystopia novel about a world where memories have been destroyed and people communicate using music.
  • Dune by Frank Herbert. A powerhouse science fiction novel, Dune is at once a space opera, a political thriller, and a study in religion and survivalism.
  • L’étudiant étranger by Philippe Labro. An autobiographical novel about the sometimes comedic, sometimes serious experience of Labro’s life as an exchange student at a US university.
  • The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien. I’m sure this one needs no introduction - the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy remains, in my opinion, one of the best books ever published, and debatably the best fantasy epic of all time.
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. A very dark but smart and exciting crime novel.
  • A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. It’s more accurate to say that I experienced this work than that I read it. Part autobiographical, part stretching the factual truth to tell an emotional one, part wild invention, this is the story of Dave and his little brother, Christopher, making their way in the world after the death of both their parents. It is stylized and designed to pull the rug out from under you, toss you out of your comfort zone, and it’s either insane pretentiousness or exactly what it claims: staggering genius.
  • Incarceron by Catherine Fisher. A futuristic fantasy novel about a living prison, the society that built itself inside, and those on the outside living a lie. A fascinating world to dive into.
  • Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. A massive brick of a book but well worth the time for the subtle and detailed world building. It takes place in a slightly different England, where magic was once a fact of life but has long been relegated to a purely theoretical field, until Mr. Norrell teaches himself how to be a practical magician.
  • Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. A thrilling adventure story, following the journey of a young boy who ends up caught in the power struggles of 18th c Scotland.
  • The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. I don’t care how old I get or how many books he publishes, Rick Riordan will always make me laugh, and I was raised on Greek and Egyptian mythology, so I always adore seeing Riordan play with sticking the gods in the modern day world.
  • The Martian by Andy Weir. Even if you’ve seen the film, the book is still well worth a read. Weir’s story about a man stuck on Mars is both dramatic and funny.
  • The Necessary Death of Lewis Winter by Malcolm Mackay. The choppy style of this book can get on my nerves, but it’s a fantastic and smart crime novel that somehow gets you rooting for a professional hitman.
  • One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey. A tragic but moving and at times inspiring dive into the oppressive and cruel world of psychiatric care in the 1960s.
  • Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov. A series of vignettes about an exiled Russian professor told through the eyes of an unreliable narrator.
  • The Heretic Queen by Michelle Moran. Although she takes great liberties in the realm of historical accuracy, Moran’s Ancient Egypt is nevertheless a compelling and exciting world.
  • Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett. I could’ve listed any Discworld book on here because I have yet to read one I dislike, but I did particularly enjoy Raising Steam’s dip into steampunk and the Industrial Revolution, and its relationship with the fantasy life of Discworld
  • Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. A story about a Shakespeare troupe in a post-apocalyptic world, so I was basically destined to love this. It follows the story of several different characters before, during, and after a near-extinction level plague, tying together the different narratives.
  • The Tragedy of Arthur by Arthur Phillips. Written as if it were an autobiography, this is the story of a man whose father, imprisoned as a con man, leaves him what seems to be a lost Shakespeare play when he dies.
  • Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. I read this as a young teenager and I still love it; it’s a good combination of an adventurous YA sci-fi novel and a reflection on the societal fixation on beauty
  • The View from the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman. A collection of speeches, essays, introductions, and more.
  • The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss. The sequel to The Name of the Wind, Wise Man’s Fear keeps me just as captivated and invested in its main character as the first one did.
  • Xenocide by Orson Scott Card. In all honesty it’s been years since I read any of the Ender’s Game books and this was just one of very, very few books I could come up with that had an X in the title, but I remember it being really good sci-fi and social commentary.
  • The Year of Lear: Shakespeare in 1606 by James Shapiro. An incredible book on the social and political context of Macbeth, Anthony and Cleopatra, and King Lear.
  • The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell. An amazing book set on Dejima at the turn of the 19th century, about the clash and exchange of culture between the West (primarily the Dutch) and the Japanese.
2

Women Who Kill
Pamela Smart

On the 1st of May 1990 in New Hampshire, 23 year old Pamela Smart came home to find her 24 year old husband, Greggory Smart, shot dead. It was revealed 15 year old Billy Flynn shot the man whilst his friend Patrick Randall held him down. But this was far from a standard home invasion….

Pamela and Greggory were together many years before marriage, and it didn’t take long for marital problems to arise. Pamela became a volunteer at a drug awareness programme at a local school. There she met Billy and his friend Cecilia Pierce who were teenage volunteers. It’s reported Pamela seduced Billy and had sex on multiple occasions, its also claimed that Pamela told Billy if he didn’t kill her husband the sex would stop. Pamela wanted to avoid a costly divorce and inherit Greggory’s life insurance policy.

Pamela Smart was sentenced to life in 1991 and has received severe beatings in prison.

Billy Flynn and Patrick Randall were both charged with second degree murder. In 2015 both men were released.

Nevertheless, an evildoer believes that what he does is right just as much as a good person knows that his actions are right. And so who is to question who?

— Richard Ramirez in an June 2, 1993 interview with Hustler.

The Marvel Movie You Didn’t Know You Wanted

Here’s the deal: it’s called the Runaways and it’s fuckin rad.

Synopsis: At a yearly family get-together, 5 teenagers and a young girl find out their parents are all members of a fucking cult that just sacrificed a girl, so they all figure out the powers and shit that they got from their parents and then they get the hell out of town (FUCKING DUH) and then their parents frame them for killing that girl and kidnapping the youngest one

Oh yeah, and this team is exactly the kind of diversity Marvel needs right now. Four words: just. one. white. dude. 

They’re lead by Alex Wilder, the incredibly smart son of two crime lords (who is black.)

Then there’s Nico Minoru, a Japanese girl who’s an actual fuckin witch

 Our one white guy, Chase Stein, whose only real power is the x-ray goggles and flaming gauntlets he stole from his (abusive) genius dad.

We’ve got Gert Yorkes, who is Jewish and has telepathic control over a fucking dinosaur 

There’s also Karolina Dean, an alien lesbian who turns solar rays into rainbow energy blast shit and it’s so goddamn pretty like FX guys are gonna love her

And finally Molly Hayes, an 11-year-old girl with super strength and lots of neat animal hats

And may I mention again, THEY HAVE A FUCKING DINOSAUR


You guys know what the best part is?

MARVEL’S HAD A SCRIPT FOR THIS THING SITTING IN THEIR OFFICE SINCE 2010. 

There’s pretty much nothing keeping them from making this movie except for the fact that no one’s really telling them to, SO GO TELL THEM TO MAKE IT. 

Like, now. 

Please.

EDIT: MARVEL has CONFIRMED that the Runaways won’t be a movie, but a HULU-EXCLUSIVE TV SERIES!
Masked - Part 1

Word Count: 1423

Pairing: Avengers x Reader, Peter x Reader (later on)

Warnings: Blood, Language 

A/N: I decided to start a new series (it will only have a few parts) and I’m very excited about this idea. I saw some weird story prompt and became inspired. I only took a few elements from the prompt though since I actually forgot where I found it. 

Masterlist

Masked Masterlist


Originally posted by darlingiamobsessed

Out of all the productive things you could be doing, you decided pissing off the Avengers was a good use of your time. Were you dead wrong? Why, yes. Yes, you were.

This was not a simple task at hand but somehow you managed to get yourself in an awkward predicament. Long story short, you- a masked vigilante- were on one of your nighttime escapades when you stumbled upon the ragtag gang of superheroes. Somehow in the chaos of trying to take down a group of criminals, the Iron Tin Man got in the way of your shot. As you can imagine, you ended up blasting him into a building, but as he flew backwards, he also managed to slam into a few of his unsuspecting teammates. Thus, more destruction ensued and the group of baddies slipped away. Right now you were getting some pretty great glares from everyone as you took that as your cue to leave.

“Pietro, grab the kid. They caused me enough trouble already,” The metal man grumbled.

“It’s been a pleasure, everyone. Until we meet again,” you bowed, blinding everyone with a huge blast of energy.

You had to love your abilities in times like these. By the time everyone’s eyes adjusted, you would have been a few blocks over swinging from building to building. Though, a blast like that definitely took a lot out of you. You’ve had your powers for a while, but even then you still had certain limitations. Ever since aliens invaded New York, you came in contact with something you assumed was part of their alien tech. Of course, you didn’t realize until many days later that, whatever that thing was, it gave you strange and amazing powers. You could create energy shields around you and a certain radius around others as well. Using that same energy, you could shoot energy beams from your hands. 

However, the strangest new ability of them all was the things you referred to as tentacles that grew from your back. At first, you freaked out waking up one morning finding four purple alien thingies growing out of you. However, once you realize you could summon and unsummon the tentacles at will, you grew to love them. For an added bonus, they could also withstand twice the weight of a bus, which definitely helped when you had to escape from the clutches of two super soldiers.

Landing on the top of a building effortlessly, you stretched your shoulder blades as your head pounded. One of the many joys in overusing your powers was the headaches that followed afterwards. What caught you off guard was the wet sticky feeling you felt under your mask. Taking your mask off, you wiped your face to find, yup, a bloody nose.

Gross.

You knew crime fighting was hard work but, man, you forgot how draining it could be. You couldn’t complain, however; you chose to help make the city a safer place. Even if your little crime fighting may or may not be illegal in some sense. But, you still couldn’t figure out why Earth’s Mightiest Heroes were so hell bent on taking you in. Despite all the banter you shared with the Avengers, there were more action than words and sometimes they were like your own little fan club.  They acted like you were this criminal wanting to destroy the city but really you were just looking out for the little guy. To be fair you have- on many occasions- kicked their asses and knowing some of them, they don’t like their pride being stepped on.

You thanked your lucky stars that your parents decided to sign you up for defense classes instead of letting you sit around all day.

Wiping the rest of the blood on your sleeve, you scaled down the building into a dark alley where you stashed your normal clothes. Quickly changing out of your “superhero” get up, you grabbed your phone a prayed that you actually charged it for once. When it lit up you let out a sigh of relief as you pulled up your GPS. Knowing your superhero friends would be searching for you, you couldn’t just swing home.

As thunder boomed in the distance, you pull the hood of your jacket over your head as the rain began pouring down heavily. Joining in the huge mob of people passing by, you smirked when you saw a similar metal man flying overhead. They had to be a lot faster than that if they wanted to find you. Following your GPS, you made your way back to your apartment.

By the time you made it back to little apartment you were soaked from head to toe. Slipping off your shoes and jacket, you threw them to the side before running your hand through your tangled wet hair. Sure it was a tiny place but it was better than living in some group home. Setting your bag down you stopped at an old picture of you and your parents. Smiling sadly at the photo, you touched the wooden frame around it before sighing. The day you got your powers was also the day your parents died. That was four years ago and it still felt like they were just there yesterday.

After spending some time in the foster care system, you eventually turned the right age to become emancipated. Sure, living on your own as a teenager was difficult but you couldn’t spend another minute in that system. Luckily your parents left you enough money to live off of and to put you through college. What can you say; you were a smart kid. When you weren’t crime-fighting, you were taking online classes to keep you busy. You had to do something in your free time since that Spider-Boy managed to get a handle on most of the crime. Even through the hardships, you managed to keep a positive outlook in the chaos. But it felt like you were missing something… you could just never put your finger on it.

Once you were changed out of your drenched clothes, you collapsed face-first onto the bed. As your face hit the pillow sleep overtook you rather quickly.


“What do you mean you can’t find them FRIDAY?” Tony barked into the air. “We have voice recognition and videos circulating through programs and we still have nothing?”

“Unfortunately, sir, there isn’t much to go on,” the AI replied.

Tony threw his hands up in the air as he let out an exasperated sigh. He used all that his best tech had to offer, but somehow this masked vigilante still managed to slip through his fingertips. Growling to himself, he typed away on his tablet trying to think of other solutions.

How could one person manage to slip away so easily let alone stay so well hidden? It also didn’t help that the only way to draw you out was decent size robbery or some disaster that needed attention.  Walking into the common room where everyone was seated, he flopped down onto the couch with a sour face.

“And nothing again,” He grumbled.

Steve knocked his head against the back of the couch and sighed. “No records or anything?”

Tony returned Steve’s question with a simple nod as the team collectively sighed. They were all becoming way too tired of chasing whoever this enhanced vigilante was.  

“Unless I can get a face or some DNA, there isn’t much I can do. Now, I need a few drinks. This is giving me an annoying headache,” He said making his way over to the kitchen.

“You know,” Bucky piped in, “I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s dangerous coming from frosty,” Sam joked as Bucky slapped the back of his head.

“We could stage something to draw them out of hiding?” He continued as the team shared a few curious looks. “They only show up when there’s danger. So, let’s set up a trap for them.”

“We could make it near the tower so they can’t get very far,” Natasha added.

“It could work but I don’t want to underestimate someone who clearly doesn’t want to be found. Hell, they may be just a kid but they fight like Natasha. There’s no telling what they can do if we try and trap them,” Clint said fiddling with some of his arrows as the team nodded.

Tony popped his head up from the fridge with a mouthful of blueberries and a beer. Smirking, he stuffed some more blueberries into his mouth.

“I’ve got a perfect idea.“

Part 2


Tag List: 

@winteriscomingidjits @lizgchamp @theflameofdeath @jaderz-mega-yikes @queenmira29 @princessmarvelcu @that-sokovian-bastard

@love-allthingsmarvel  @satanandblade @yourcaitlinraye @fanobsessed @grantward3 @satanandblade @annabadian @thecoffeestudyblr

If anyone wants to be tagged in everything or just the series ask here!

nct dream!kids au

youre their babysitter ok istg (theyre also like 4-8) (and theyre also all related)


mark

-a literal mess omg!!

-tries his best but ends up failing somehow

-cant make a sandwich, ends up blowing up the kitchen

-needs your help for a lot of things but not before he accidentally screws it up himself when he tries to be a big boy!!!

-like one time, you went over to babysit

-and he was a precious angel! said hi and smiled and dragged you to his room to play!!

-everything was fine and dandy until you left the room for a sec and came back to mark upside down hanging from his bed with his toys scattered on the floor when it was in a neat pile before

-dont leave him alone for too long

-dont leave him alone at all omg, hold his hand and take him as your smol useless sidekick

-tries to help take care of the kids with you because he’s the hyung and he needs to have a responsibility! (never ends up doing what he’s supposed to do but you love him anyway)

-falls asleep really easily, is always disoriented when he wakes up from naps

-has his own bed but prefers to crawl in bed with his bff and best brother hae!!!

-doesnt have a teddy bear or any stuffie and falls asleep with nothing in his arms but ends up hugging anything he can grab in his sleep

-it can be hae, a pillow, their pet bunny that manages to escape bc chen forgot to lock it up, it doesnt matter (hae pretends to hate it but it makes him feel warm so he’s lowlowlowlowlowlowlowkey ok with it)


haechan

-what a sass master

-youngest sass master youve ever seen

-pickiest eater ever omg

-doesnt like ANYTHING you give him unless it has peanut butter on it

-he’ll make you put peanut butter on pizza

-he doesnt CARE he just wants peanut butter

-such a tsundere omg hates your jokes but loves your smiles (will never admit it)

-stubborn ass kid jesus

-but a cutie so you dont mind!!

-loves his hyung mark but will not hesitate to push him down the stairs for candy

-is always there to give mark bandaids for wounds HE caused

-has to always sit beside you or mark or jisung or jaemin during movies (will not sit still unless he’s with one of you)

-LOVES superheroes

-tried to fly once but just ended up scraping the palm of his hand

-he’s the bandaid guy so he has no one to put a bandaid on him :c

-BUT he has you!!! and mark to the rescue ofc

-mark puts the bandaid on backwards and it accidentally sticks to his hand instead

-haechan doesnt have the heart to tell him and neither do u

-you end up putting the bandaid on hae when mark isnt looking

-reminds you of how cute and perfect he is every 3 minutes hours


chenle

-the most talented child you have ever babysat

-will sing the kids to sleep if you asked him to

-will sing YOU to sleep if you asked him to

-sweetest smiles!!!

-total suck up, will do anything to make you happy/smile

-sings around the house, hops everywhere, refuses to stop singing even if jeno threatens to throw his pet bunny on the street

-howevER IF YOU THREATEN TO TAKE HIS TEDDY BEAR AWAY HE’LL HARNESS THE POWERS OF JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF AND JUDOFLIP YOU DOWN 80 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS

-takes his teddy bear everywhere

-has emotional detachment issues

-loves his parents but lowkey loves his teddy bear more

-highkey loves you more, probably has a cute lil kid crush on you

-hearteyes!!!!

-buy him stuffed animals and he’ll love you forever

-reallyyyyyyyy likes strawberries

-more than usual

-likes feeding them to his bunny even tho they shouldnt really be eating them

-but it makes the bunny happy so chen is happy!!

-please love him all he wants is for everybody to be happy

-the type to tug on your clothes instead of calling for your name or tapping you to get your attention


renjun

-????

-mysterious as heck

-you didnt even notice him the first time you babysat him

-like, their parents came back and thanked you and all the kids came to say goodbye

-and then you just saw renjun there but???

-”omg i didnt even notice you during this whole time im sorry why didnt you say anything?? where were you???”

-and he just responds with “i was in the shadows” right before you leave

-gave you nightmares but you were determined to make him loud and bubbly!!

-so the next time you babysit, you made SURE to find renjun

-took him with you everywhere, so now you have sidekick mark and sidekick renjun

-theyre both useless but in a cute way!!!!

-it takes time but he goes from a chocolate bar left in the freezer for 85 years to a bagel in water!!! (what is this omg)

-still kinda tough but soft and smol at the same time

-doesnt smile often but when he does it’s like a fireball!!! watch out nasa we have a new sun!!!

-small grins and smiles 24/7

-the kids always try to include him in everything bc he may be quiet but they know he’s just shy and can be absolutely insane (in a non ghost-kid creepy way)

-they love him and will do anything he asks bc he never asks for anything usually!!

-the least-needy kid ever


jaemin

-sly ass lil kid

-probably learns how to flirt from tv shows and uses pickup lines on you

-a sweetheart deep down, cares for you a lot

-will 100000% fight chenle for your heart!!!!

-smile so sweet itll give you cavities but has a lowkey smirk to it so you have to stop him from watching too many tv shows

-follows you around asking you the most dumb questions

-”do you trap people in your phone and talk to them??”

-”jae omg no what the heck ofc not”

-”how do you talk to your friends then??”

-you worry about him a lot

-tries to act tough when he gets booboos

-doesnt like crying and usually doesnt cry when he gets hurt

-BUT when he gets hurt like real bad, he’ll crack

-one time he was running down the stairs chasing jeno

-and he accidentally fell and tumbled down the stairs

-he was ok, no big booboos but his knee got scraped pretty bad

-and *dootdootdoot trumpet sounds* haechan swoops in with bandaids!! (and a HALF hug, gotta keep that tsundere front)

-and as haechan puts like, 3 bandaids on jae’s 1 wound, his lips start quivering and his eyes are tearing up but he cant cry wont cry!! gotta look tough so mark can stop babying him!! so everyone can stop babying him!!

-but then mark hugs him to make up for hae’s half hug and min starts bawling

-chen feels bad too so he hugs jae while mark is still hugging him so it’s a hug-fest!!

-hae reluctantly joins in but only bc he’s hip and with the trends!!! not bc he wanted to hug him or something


jeno

-highkey likes learning lowkey likes messing with his brothers

-he likes learning how to make traps and how to successfully prank people

-the annoying smartass kid of the group but nobody minds!! (except haechan bc hes supposed to be annoying and smart!!)

-partners in crime with haechan

-pranks everybody BUT jisung

-everybody has a soft spot for jisung

-starts off with dumb things like whoopie cushions and hand buzzers

-still uses dumb things like whoopie cushions and hand buzzers

-colours pictures as a side job hobby

-quiet and behaved surprisingly when he isnt trying to make you sit on a whoopie cushion

-will eat anything you give him as long as it’s not like, kiwis or something

-hates kiwis with a passion

-will sass you if you try to feed him kiwis

-which makes you seperate him and hae from hanging out for too long

-it never works, they always find a way to navigate back to each other

-you end up just letting him become a sass master in training

-judges your food but compliments your appearance!!

-everything you do is pretty to him

-cleaning up chen’s spilled apple juice?? nO PROBLEM WHAT A CUTE THING YOU ARE

-just dont feed him kiwis, then youre not cute

-really hates kiwis

-like, really really

-will probably slap your hand

-will apologize and hug your hand afterwards

-*cue hae’s eye roll*

-eye smiles all day everyday!!!!


jisung

-an actual angel

-youngest and cutest!!

-leader of the cutie sqaud rEPRESENT!!!11!!11!

-probably religiously likes apples

-just imagine him nibbling on an apple

-chen probably really likes him (ONLY WHEN HE’S EATING AN APPLE) bc he reminds him of their pet bunny

-a bit of a crybaby but nobody minds because he doesnt cry on purpose!!

-hurts himself a lot too smh jisung r u having a competition with mark or smth

-but he has spongebob bandaids so “who cares if im bleeding?? i have spongebob!!”

-probably wants to be like, devious and not innocent but cant

-one time, hae and jeno tried to teach him how to prank one of his hyungs but ji just went “i dunno i dont really wanna anymore” all uncomfortable and smol and timidly bc he didnt wanna make hae and jeno upset

-but it was ok!! they took him to the living room to watch spongebob

-dancing machine omg

-like, everybody in the family likes dancing but bOY jisung has such a firey passion for it, it’s insanely cute

-likes candy a lot (but what kid doesnt)

-will most likely sell his soul for candy

-instead of walking around the house, he moonwalks

-nobody has the heart to tell him to stop

-chen almost did once but when jisung smiled real wide when chen called his name, he like stopped and just sputtered out “i have apples”

-the kid that literally does nothing wrong

-you used to be suspicious but not anymore he’s an angEL BEAN

-smol and precious, doesnt like trouble nor does he like loud noises

-yet he enjoys screaming??

-when anything wrong goes down he screams like a siren so everybody knows something is wrong

-he’s practically their fire alarm


nct dream (as a whole)

-puts on shows for you ALL the time

-you were going over to babysit them once but when you arrived you didnt expect a cupcake and a performance!! (their parents told them it was your birthday so they had to be nice to you)

-you didnt even get sassed!! a miracle!!!

-they felt bad that they didnt get you a present so they drew you something instead

-didnt let mark help in fear he’d accidentally set the paper on fire but he was ok with that bc he got to monitor and was on apple juice duty!!

-likes having pillow fights

-you arent about that life so you just sit back and monitor

-jisung doesnt join in but he screams while they fight!!

-he has lungs of steel

-he doesnt join in bc one time he was running around, spinning with a pillow and he accidentally got smacked in the face (dont tell anyone but it was probably mark) and he FLEW BACK

-like FLEW BACK

-the room grew quiet and everybody rushed over “omg r u ok???”

-he was ok but no longer particpates, traumatized but also vv thankful bc woah he flew (into a wall but he flew)

-they have pillow fights real often bc it makes renjun happy and he laughs and smiles a lot during them

-pillow fights are BRUTAL

-they have never EVER seen chen so hardcore

-he karate jumps and smacks people in the face

-mark screams and charges headfirst (with a pillow on his head ofc) at everybody

-hae pretends not to care but hits SO hard (as hard as he can with a pillow at least)

-jeno is so good at dodging, so swift it’s scary

-renjun is reallllll quiet so he sneak-attacks people really easly, giving them minor (or major, if youre like, mark) heart attacks

-jaemin pictures everybody as giant, walking kiwis so he screams “I HATE KIWIS” before he runs into the fight blindly, hitting everybody and anybody he can bc deFEAT THE EVIL KIWIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-chen doesnt even have a tactic as long as he gets to hit someone he’s ok

-there’s really no prize so idek why these losers are so competitive

-HOWEVER no matter how much they fight and no matter how competitive they are, they ALWAYS have each other’s back

-like this one time, hae was getting bullied and it all started like thiS *dramatic flashback*

-they all walk home together and instead of being loud like usual, hae was just really quiet and didnt join in the conversation

-so mark the responsible hyung!!! noticed and was like “what’s wrong hae??”

-and he didnt respond so ren, jae, and jeno answered for him

-”that kid in our class said he was loud and annoying”

-”WHERE DOES HE LIVE I’LL HURT HIM” -mark 0.1 seconds after hearing that

-the next day at school, the dream team (im calling them that from now on) confronted the kid and mark went iN

-”HOW DARE U CALL MY BROTHER ANNOYING WHEN U HAVE A BOWL CUT AND CANT EVEN GO TO THE WASHROOM ON YOUR OWN, U THINK UR SLICK I SEE YOU IN THE HALLS”

-like, jae and ji got a lil bit offended at the bowl cut comment but iT WAS FOR HAE SO THEY DIDNT CARE

-mark is a third grade SAVAGE

-made the kid cry

-all while hae was hiding behind jeno and jisung (jisung was too short to hide him but like w/e)

-the kid apologized with like snot and tears running down his face

-hae lowkey laughed really hard

-they all got in trouble after

-jisung for sneaking out of kindergarten

-mark for roasting yelling at the kid

-everybody else for being his sidekicks

-their parents couldnt even yell at them bc they were so touched

-do NOT bring these kids to the grocery store

-not altogether

-if you do, youll get kicked out of the grocery store in 0.3343 seconds

-jisung wants EVERYTHING in the store

-hae complains every 2 minutes

-they fight over who gets to sit in the cart

-jisung, mark, hae, and jeno share a room

-jae, chen, and ren share a room

-during nap time, they all end up in one room or another tho

-they kinda hate each other (bc that’s how siblings are!!) but if given the chance to be put in another family, none of them would even THINK about it

-theyre all a mess but that’s how the dream team works!

Scrolling through my dash and Neal Caffery came up so my brain went well, guess you’re having White Collar AU thoughts now.

I’m imagining a world where Dirk Gently is a criminal informant for FBI Special Agent Farah, who successfully tested into the FBI on her first try and ended up as head of the Seattle White Collar Division at the ripe young age of thirty. She’s got a string of arrests under her belt and her team both respect and fear her with equal intensity, her superiors keep making vague noises about moving her up the chain of command but she’s very much okay staying where she is, thank you but no thank you, she’s here to make a difference and that’s what she intends to do. She wasn’t heavily involved in the case that put Dirk behind bars four years ago (it was mainly a CIA affair, he’d steadfastly maintained his innocence right through the trial and sentencing until the very last minute, she remembers his face when the judge pronounced him guilty and it still haunts her sometimes) but she’s familiar enough with the details that the authorities feel comfortable calling her when Dirk goes missing from his jail cell with only three months left to serve on his sentence.

She ends up finding him in the woods, fifty miles from the supermax prison where he was being held. He’s vaguely confused about why she’s there but he’s adamant that it was just a misunderstanding, he opened the wrong door and got lost in the woods, he ended up where he needed to be despite the fact that it really wasn’t where he intended to go.

“Dirk, it took you an entire day to walk here”.

“There’s a barricade along the road Farah, I honestly didn’t even notice that I’d left the prison”.

So she goes to take him back to his cell (she calls her boss on speakerphone to update him, Dirk uses it as an opportunity to ask weird and personal questions until Farah threatens to put him in the boot of the car) but then Dirk’s yelling that they need to pull over, they need to pull over right that very second. Farah does, and they end up stumbling over a box containing the very evidence that the FBI needed to close a particular case that has been stumping Farah for months.

Dirk mutters something about having a hunch, that’s all, and suddenly Farah is inspired. He doesn’t deserve another four years in a cold lonely cell, he’s a lot paler and thinner than last time she saw him, and he looks bloody awful in his orange jumpsuit (she can’t work out why no-one called the authorities about a dude in prison garb wandering down a major Washington State highway, she’d think that the universe wanted him to escape only that would be ridiculous).

He’s not a huge fan of the ankle monitor but he’ll take what he can get.

For the first couple of months their interactions are generally Farah asking “how could you possibly know this detail about this crime we’re solving, why do you have connections to the city’s biggest crime syndicate, why do you own all these missing goods?“ and Dirk avoiding all questions with “I have the right to remain silent” (and occasionally “please can I go back to my cell now, there was less murder there”). The CIA keep trying to headhunt him and Farah joked about it once until she saw that he’d gone white as a sheet (she makes a note to look into it later, but they’re snowed under with cases and she never quite finds the time).

Farah’s team end up doing a bit of work with the local Missing Persons unit, she keeps trying to Estevez for the FBI but Estevez just wants to find missing people. It turns into a running joke every time they see each other. Farah surreptitiously pins FBI badges on Estevez’s jacket while he’s not wearing it. Estevez refusing to bring her coffee in the morning because the FBI has a budget double that of Missing Persons, she can buy her own damn coffee if she needs caffeine that much. Zimmerfield used to do The Eyebrows™ on rare occasions but it turns into a weekly occurence once they start working with Dirk on cases.

The Rowdy 3 are a vigilante gang that aren’t even under Farah’s jurisdiction (she does white collar cases, not these-dudes-trashed-a-laundromat-that-ended-up-being-a-front-for-literal-Nazis cases) but they somehow keep getting away, and even manage to acquire another member in the shape of a tiny brunette in a too-big leather jacket (Farah’s traitorous mind keeps going to call her adorable, she’s not adorable, Farah is a Special Agent and Special Agents do not use words like adorable to describe violent anarchist ex-drummer punks). But she does her research and then she realizes.

Brotzman.

Amanda’s last name is Brotzman.

Farah’s heard the name before and it worries at her for ages until she works out where exactly she’d heard it. It was during Dirk’s trial four years ago, something about a guy that Dirk had been supposedly working with (Todd? Tim? Ted?) who they’d thought might have been involved in the case until Dirk turned around at the last minute and said that the whole thing was him, absolutely just him, no involvement from anyone else, how dare they even suggest it. Dirk’s complete about-face had seemed weird at the time but Farah hadn’t questioned it, it wouldn’t be the first time that a suspect cracked under the pressure of a high-intensity high-profile trial. Now she thinks that it might have been motivated by a desire to protect someone else (it would be a quintessentially Dirk thing to do and Farah’s heart aches for him).

Eventually she ends up discovering that Dirk was set up by the CIA. A special branch (she discovers it’s name, Blackwing, but not what it was set up to do) had requested (dictated commanded forced) Dirk’s involvement with some pretty shady activities and Dirk had complied, not realizing the extent of what he was being asked to do. When he eventually tried to escape, the CIA pinned the whole thing on him and left him to rot in a supermax prison cell until Dirk somehow had a hunch that they were going after Todd.

And Farah is pissed.

New Release: Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore, Matthew Sullivan

“With Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore, Matthew Sullivan has written—with great panache and suspense—a smart, twisty crime novel filled with compelling characters set in a world that book-lovers will adore."—Jess Walter, # 1 New York Times bestselling author of Beautiful Ruins

"This book ticked all the boxes for me: an engaging heroine, an intriguing premise, interesting characters and a plot that involved books, readers and the very darkest human passions. A fantastic, assured debut."—Elly Griffiths, author of The Crossing Places