smart kid

Obsessive

This one is called “Obsessive”

I have OCD.
I was diagnosed when I was nine years old
I was in the 3rd grade but I had just dropped out
Because my teacher and my class sucked and nobody understood why I was functioning at such a low level when I was supposedly a pretty smart kid
That was at about the time that my bones started poking out from under my skin and my face lost it’s color and I only ate in small portions three times a day.
I lost a lot of weight- fifteen pounds, which was a lot for someone my age and, yeah, I guess you would assume that I had an eating disorder
At least, that’s what people on the streets probably thought
As I limped down the sidewalk, head drooped down, longing for my next meal
But my anxiety tugging at my shoulders and telling me “No. Don’t. You’ll get too full”
It sounds stupid, right? A fear of overeating? Yeah. I felt pretty stupid.
I got over that fear eventually but it didn’t happen over night, let me tell you
Because treatment for OCD is pain in the fucking ass
Not to mention tiring, especially when you’re a 52 pound nine year old trying to make her way through 3rd grade,
The major treatment method for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is doing exposures
These are also known as ERPs, or exposure response prevention
And the idea is that you slowly introduce yourself to your fears by exposure to them
And it starts out super triggering but eventually your anxiety levels start to go down and you acclimate.
At that time I was going in for treatment multiple times a week for up to three hours at a time
I remember wondering, fretting, over what the other kids would think if they knew how I was spending my afternoons:
Sitting in a big, sinking, therapy chair with an oreo on my tongue, trying to tolerate the anxiety it caused me to taste that unhealthy food
And then taking it off and wiping my mouth off with a napkin, spitting out any crumbs that might have disintegrated into my saliva
Then rating my anxiety.
Sounds fun, right?
Yeah, I know.
But you know what else? It doesn’t sound like what the average person thinks of when they think of OCD
No, I wasn’t an “obsessive hand washer”
I didn’t have to jerk my head to the side multiple times a minute or do anything in threes
I wasn’t always clean and spotless and sanitized.
And you know what else? It wasn’t fucking charming.
The thing about OCD is that if you have it, even if you get over a particular fear, it’s going to try to find it’s way back into your life and it will usually manifest into a different fear
Often little things will come up and you’ll worry that you’ll have to start going to exposures four times a week again, but it’ll usually die down.
That’s what I thought at the beginning of this summer when I started obsessively worrying that I had a fever.
I had had the fear in the past, and eventually it went away, so I figured it would this time, too.
Boy, was I wrong.
When did I know? When I started taking my temperature multiple times a day, freaking out when it was above average, which it always is because my body temp runs high
But OCD and logical thinking do not exactly go hand in hand
My parents hid my thermometer but I started doing other things to ease my anxiety
I didn’t sit back in my chair because if I did, the seat would become warm from my body heat, and I would touch it and get too anxious
I started avoiding touching other people, in fear that their skin would be cooler than mine and prove that I had a fever
I put my clothes in the dryer cycle every morning so that when I put them on, i could feel that my body was cold compared to something else.
I held ice on my wrists to try to cool down my body.
I’m still working on that fear.
Hell, I’m in therapy 4 times a week for it
But I have faith that I’ll overcome it and move on to do good things in my life
Why?
Because I’ve done it before.
So don’t pity me.
Please. Don’t pity me.
But next time you think about calling yourself OCD because you like to keep your math binder organized, catch yourself
The next time you assume that someone with neat room is obsessive compulsive and someone with a messy room isn’t, catch yourself and remember not to judge
Because you can’t tell from the outside
(And my room is a fucking pig sty, lemme tell ‘ya)
OCD is not the cute mental illness.
It doesn’t make you quirky or organized or sanitary or polite
And if you walk around telling people to stop romanticizing depression
Stop romanticizing suicide
Stop romanticizing self harm
Than you can tell people to stop romanticizing OCD.
We all have struggles in this life and it’s impossible to compare them, so let’s not try to
Let’s just try to respect each other’s struggles, no matter what they may be or what label might be plastered to them
Do you think you could try that for me?

anonymous asked:

if davey was a lil shit of a camper how do u think gwen was? i hc she was never in camp at all as a kid but for the sake of an au lets say she was a sweet lil girl who loved everyone and everything and had all the motivation in the world and was the one pestering davey about "love for the camp and everything it stands for". maybe she stopped when she realized Campbell is an asshole?

well, if we’re thinking in the possibility of a camper gwen au, i’d really like to think that gwen was just a good kid. smart (booksmart, especially) with high hopes for her future and like, a sparkle in her eye.
but i’m aslo pretty sure she was born with the sass, so that stays. tiny snarky gwen, not yet worried about the job market.

anonymous asked:

I haven't been able to tell if i met the autism criteria as a child? Bc I was apparently just a goofy, really smart kid with the accompanying social awkwardness and there wasn't really anything abnormal about it? But I'm older now and I fit all of the criteria, but I also have a dissociative disorder and depression. 1. So is it possible to be NT passing as a child? 2. Is deperaonalization/derealization an autistic cousin? And 3. If idk what I was like as a kid can I self dx as autistic?

1) Yep! Many autistic people are able to pass as neurotypical as children and many of us find that harder and harder to do as we age and the stresses of life increase.

2) It is not an autistic cousin, but it is fairly comorbid with autism. In other words, depersonalization/derealization disorder does not share many traits with autism but it does somewhat frequently co-occur with autism.

3) I would say yes. If you fit all of the criteria now, it’s likely that you fit them as a child, even if you can’t remember well.

-Sabrina

10

10 Black Shows I’d Like To See On Netflix

1. Martin

2. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

3. Moesha

4. The Parkers

5. My Wife & Kids

6. The Wayans Bros

7. Kenan and Kel

8. Smart Guy

9. One on One

10. Everybody Hates Chris

*slams fist on table* give autistic characters more diverse roles than “precious confused child” or “socially awkward super-genius” you COWARDS

  • Disney: We can't have like... A canon gay main character. That would disrupt our viewer base too much!
  • Nickelodeon: Just... Sneak it in man, make it subtle. These kids are smart they'll figure it out. Release comics and stuff dude. Get on it.
  • Cartoon Network: JUST FUCKING GAY IT UP BRUH, MAKE EVERYTHING GAY! Steven Universe? GAY! Amazing World of Gumball? GAY! Adventure Time? HOLY FLAMING JESUS BALLS YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT'S GAY! YOU GET A GAY, AND YOU GET A GAY. GAY ALL ROUND!

“By all means, America.”

Ivan has fun encouraging Alfred’s more questionable ideas. For a smart guy, he does lots of dumb things. And he does them with confidence, which makes it funnier to watch when they turn out badly.

fairy2queen  asked:

I❤❤ U!! Umm hi! I have been following since last year (I mean I did see your art before that but I never knew it was you who drew them) Umm I was wondering if you could draw Jaehee and MC's adopted daughter... Not that I'm forcing you to do so! I know you're busy! But if you want then maybe draw her... THANK YOU!

Hello! Thank you so much for all of your support ;;o;; ♥
But aaa thank you for your interest in the JaeheexMC AfterEnd AU! I do have a little something about her so here you go ^o^

Small HC time! Jaehee and MC’s daughter grows up to be a very smart && responsible person! Zen’s kid likes to visit Jaehee+MC’s cafe because he and Jyunghee are close friends (also he asks her to tutor him for school – and MC and Jaehee likes to tease their daughter about it ♥) :D

((Here is a portion from the Family Portrait post for those who haven’t seen it yet – also Jaehee’s hair is short because I haven’t done her route when I drew the set askjdhskjfh))

Spider-Man Homecoming makes you realize how much Tony Stark truly loves this 15-year-old smart kid who feels happy when he gets a free churro from doing something good. Tony built a suit for Peter that had everything he needed including a parachute, just in case something happened. And you can tell how much Tony loves making suits for this boy. Peter Parker is so loved and I hope he realizes it.

9

Here, have some nostalgia!
Pixel Perfect, Zenon Girl of the 21st Century, Sky High
I’ve Got a Date With the President’s Daughter, Boy Meets World, Read It and Weep
Stuck in the Suburbs, Smart House, Life Size
Wendy Wu Homecoming Warrior, Cow Belles, Now You See It…
Seventeen Again, Phil of the Future, Cadet Kelly
Twitches, Life With Derek, Naturally Sadie