Tony walked in and his first thought, quite honestly, was that somehow he’d ended up in a crack den instead of his home.
White powder lay on the floors, covered the walls, embedded itself in the carpet. Some of his test tubes and conical flasks had somehow found their way onto the kitchen counter, and they too were full of either white powder or… greenish sludge. Above him, something seemed to have knocked out the overhead light fitting.
It certainly wasn’t how he’d left the place two hours ago.
There was a frown on his face as he walked further in- not too concerned, for he’d definitely seen worse in his travels- but still prevalent. He wanted to know who had ruined his damn kitchen, for starters. Although to be fair- he already had a bit of an idea. There was really only one person who could make this amount of mess in such a small space of time.
“Peter?” He called out, tripping over a sieve and picking it up in bewilderment as pink dredges fell from it, “Peter Parker, get your butt over here right this inst- oh.”
He stopped when he spotted a very familiar and very un-Peter-like figure slumped against the table, back facing Tony and blonde hair dipping into an orange-tinted puddle.
He huffed, folding his arms and leaning against the side of the counter as he stared in amusement at Steve, fast asleep in front of him. That was a surprise. He’d been thinking this had Peter’s fingerprints (quite literally) all over it, and yet here was Mr Stark-Rogers at the scene of the crime itself. Curiouser and Curiouser.
Taking a pen from the top of the counter, he aimed and fired at Steve’s head, watching with a laugh when the other man snorted unceremoniously and jerked upright, hands going out to steady himself. “Wh- wait, what,” he mumbled, looking around and then sighing deeply.
“Hello, Steven,” he schooled the smile off his face as Steve spun around, eyes catching on Tony across the room and then widening comically. He splayed a wild hand out, trying to cover the little pile of pots and pans that rested in front of him. Like that would somehow also cover the rest of the blast radius created from whatever the hell he’d been doing.
“Okay,” Steve raised his hands in defeat before Tony could get another word in, “I may have… fucked up. Slightly.”
Tony nodded sagely. “Where, pray tell, did my kitchen go?”
“We were trying to make those volcanoes,” Steve blurted, and when he said ‘we’, Tony guessed his partner in crime had been Peter, dammit, he knew that the little terror had been behind this- “you know, those home-made science project thingies, except… it was a lot more complicated than what I had been expecting, and then things started exploding everywhere, and before I knew it I’d accidentally covered half the kitchen in orange… residue,” Steve looked slightly disgusted as he pulled out a clump of glue from his hair and then sighed deeply. “I’ll clean it up, I promise. I just… got a bit tired.”
Something clattered from the ceiling and landed an inch from Tony’s foot. He gave it a look before glancing back at Steve incredulously. ‘How did that even get up there’, he wanted to ask- but he felt the answer would be almost as convoluted as the situation itself, and honestly, he just wasn’t willing to deal with that level of crazy in that moment.
With a sigh, he stepped over a couch cushion and reached over to Steve, his hand curling around the back of his neck and squeezing a little. Almost immediately, he felt Steve sigh at the simple contact and slip a little further down- never let it be told Captain America didn’t appreciate a good pair of hands. “I’m sure it will still all be just as terrible in the morning,” his fingers dug into the tension around the man’s neck and slowly loosened them, “for now, though, I think you and me should both have a nice warm shower, hmm? Pretend this doesn’t exist for a while?”
Steve looked around him helplessly, before nodding once. He looked very subdued. “I put Peter to bed though!” He said, pride in his voice, “he went like a log after the evening’s…”
“Madness?” Tony finished, pulling Steve up and into his arms. He felt Steve grinning sheepishly, and put his lips on it, just because.
“Perhaps a little,” Steve admitted, beginning to walk with him down the hall, “I promise I’ll clean it up tomorrow though.”
“Tomorrow Peter Parker will be helping you, that’s for sure,” Tony muttered, “because I promise you, sweetheart, school science volcanoes most certainly do not need to be this complicated.”
“Yes, I’m seeing that now,” Steve admitted quietly, stifling a yawn over his hand. He looked tired. It had been a busy week, Tony didn’t blame him.
And hell. The kitchen was in shambles. Tony had been working all day, and he was on the last strands of his sanity if he was being truly honest- even Pepper had been avoiding him, and that spoke volumes about his mood right then- he shouldn’t be feeling this calm in the face of all the mayhem.
And yet, here he was. Strangely… content.
This mess was home, after all. This mess was his family- which still felt weird to say, by the way- but weird in the most wonderful, best kind of way.
“Come on,” Tony wound his fingers around Steve’s and used his spare hand to undo his tie, “let’s go relax. Away from this. Our room is still intact, right?”
“I really hope so,” Steve whispered, before grinning cheekily at Tony’s slightly concerned face. “Only kidding- Peter didn’t touch it, and neither did I, actually.”
“Well, that’s both comforting and terrible,” Tony said, “I’m declaring a bed-day tomorrow, and there is no getting out of this. We spend the whole day under the duvet and let no one in.”
“Is our son going to get himself to school, then?”
“Our son thinks he can create a volcano out of what looked like hazardous waste, I’m sure he can figure something out. Or Thor can just fly him,” Tony grabbed Steve by the shoulders and then shoved him backward, landing him on the bed with a thump and then sprawling out on top of him a second later. “Mmmf,” he said, feeling suddenly content for the first time all day.
Steve made the best pillow. And Mattress. And husband. And everything, really, who was he kidding.
Strong, tired arms wrapped gently around his back, holding him in a way only Steve ever could. “Love you,” he mumbled into Tony’s hair, and Tony leaned up, watching his husband’s eyes flutter shut almost immediately after hitting the bed. He was exhausted and adorable and Tony’s, and it was the most wonderful thing to think about. He didn’t think he was ever going to stop thinking about it, to be honest. He hadn’t for seven years now, and it didn’t seem ready to waver any time soon.
“Love you too,” he responded, kissing Steve’s throat. he still had all his clothes on, and they weren’t even tucked in, but who cared? Not him. “Get some sleep, babe, you earned it.”
Steve hummed, and less than a second later, he was out of it again; hands wrapping Tony in a gentle embrace and mouth pressed into Tony’s forehead. He smelt like flour and… plastic? Ah, well, they’d had worse. Smelt worse. They’d had sex after being nearly digested by aliens. Twice. Tony was pretty sure his nose had given up on him at this point.
He thought back to his poor kitchen for a second. He was going to kill that menace he called a son. But he’d do it later.
For now, there was just bed, and sleep, and Steve.
OK, so apparently not everyone knows this, so lemme help some of y’all out.
You know how most people who wear glasses carry around a small spray bottle and a cleaning rag? You know how when you clean your glasses via that method, it can sometimes take a really long time to get all the oil and smudges off, and even then sometimes you get lint forever stuck on your lenses?
What if I told you there was a easier way to clean your glasses, that was quicker and left you with no lint?
Y’all, just use baby wipes. They get rid of oil and smudges very very easily! Dirty? Mud? No problem, these things are made to clean and evaporate nicely. And there’s no lint left.
I honestly don’t know why everyone doesn’t just use baby wipes to clean their glasses. It even get rid of the mascara I sometimes get on mine.
I was bored and playing around in the dollmaker thing and decided to make these to show what Melody and Vince look like.
One is probably a picture Vince keeps in his wallet from when he and Melody were young, the other is just kinda of a height comparison/alternature universe family photo i guess? Melody was reaaal tall.