Vegan Mac Faux Cheese 🐭
There are lots of wonderful vegan mac and cheese recipes out there. This is one I frequent.
Vegan Mac Faux Cheese
2.5 cups GF
½ cup raw
¾ cup russet
potato, peeled and chopped
½ cup carrots,
unsweetened almond milk
½ tsp. smoked
¼ tsp. garlic
½ tbsp. lemon
¾ tsp. pink
¼ tsp. white
in water overnight or add boiling water to them and allow them to sit for 15-20
Bring a small
pot of water to a boil and add the potatoes and carrots. Boil for 10 minutes.
Remove from heat and drain.
In a separate pot
of boiling salted water add pasta and cook according to instructions on the
package. Drain pasta and reserve ¼ to ½ cup of pasta water.
While the pasta
and veggies are cooking add the cashews, nutritional yeast, almond milk, spices
and lemon juice to a blender. Next, add the cooked vegetables and blend on high
for a minute or until smooth. Mix the “cheese” with the cooked (drained) pasta
adding a bit of the pasta water to thin it out to your liking.
I sometimes like to think about how I could eventually get so big to the point where I’m completely dependent on someone else. It’s only a dream, but hopefully one day it will come true.
It all starts when I move in with that special one, unaware about the plan they have for me. I’d only be slightly chubby at that point but they’d quickly change that, sneaking double cream into everything I eat and teasing me with sweet desserts. As my thighs start rubbing and my small pot belly turns into a soft fat overhang I submit to my cravings, allowing the portions to get bigger and for them to shovel sweet pastries and greasy burgers into my mouth as part of our midnight antics. On days off they’d surprise me with a massive breakfast in bed, taking three trips to the kitchen to bring over. After completing the mountain of sausages, bacon, beans, mushrooms, fried toast and hash browns they’d join me in bed to provide belly rubs and play with my new found chub as I lazily submit to the ever growing weight on my figure and fall into yet another bliss food coma. As my waist size rockets and my body jiggles further with every (short) stride, I get more tired from the simplest of tasks from getting out of the car to climbing the stairs. With my fat thighs turning into folds of lard and my belly becoming so big it puts my crotch out of reach, I start relying on them to join me in the shower to reach the parts of my massive frame that I can no longer reach. One day, after struggling to fit into a set of strained sweatpants and leaving my belly swaying out below a stretched white t-shirt, they watch me try to make my way through the bedroom door. After initially failing due to my massive wide hips I try sideways, eventually getting my massive ass cheeks and huge belly stuck in the door frame. They help push me out, and with me out of breath they pinch the fat between my belly button and the bottom of my overhang and pull my back into bed. They whisper into my ear “Don’t worry, I’ve got you”, and run off to come back with a mountain of burgers, donuts and other fatty treats. My days are then spent bound to my bed, the sheer weight of my humongous obese frame keeping me down. As I struggle to lift my arms for the sea of fat hanging off them they feed me more and more, becoming totally immobile and totally dependent on them. The days are spent shovelling more food, double cream and lard into my stomach and the nights are spent being used as a mattress by them, kneading my huge fat rolls like dough. All I live for is to eat for their pleasure, a stimulus I cannot shake off leading to my hands and feet disappearing in fat and becoming a huge lard mattress for them to enjoy.
Fill a small pot with water, add your desired herbs and or spices and bring the water to a boil. Set the steaming pot in a room with you or a room in need of some purification and allow the steam to work its magic. You can cover up this quick bit of magic by saying it’s just a more natural form of air freshener.