i feel like a lot of people are waiting for my work to get approved by some publisher or magazine before they show up and buy my books. it’s really absurd to me. there’s an assumption that i’ll survive until that day on my own, through some (???) idk magical process. but in reality, i’m struggling to pay for rent every month and trans health care stuff every month. a lot of the time i’m saved by offers for me to contribute my work to people/publications i hadn’t expected to hear from: last month it was being paid a hundred bucks for another twoc to read my parra translations at an art museum, plus small fees for my old poems to be published in a couple of magazines. then there’s the idea (and even i’m guilty of this at times) that writing isn’t worth much unless it’s published in book form, and therefore the writer releasing ebooks or sharing work to a blog need not be paid. the physical form of a book and the approval of publishers is of utmost importance to readers, but all of us like to ignore the fact that publishing is just another white supremacist industry, where everything from who catches the eye of big publishers to favorable placement of a books on store shelves to distribution options for independent writers is contingent on how close you are to whiteness or how malleable you are to the interests of whiteness. but maybe readers do have a sense of the overriding biases at work in publishing and the mutilation of writers of color and our work that goes into it, and maybe the reader has grown to want this as well… anyway, im getting ready to publish a book in print on my own and i’m hoping that this will get me on a more secure path. the first print run will be a kind of test to see how much interest there is in this work- so only around 150 copies - and i’ll raise funds for it in a quick two or three week crowdfunding campaign. the text itself is going well. i’ve got three out of eight stories done and the rest are halfway written; and i’m planning on having a long nonfiction piece at the end, which will cover issues like white supremacy in publishing and also include a manual on indie publishing for trans women. i’d like to raise enough to cover some of my living expenses while im finishing up the text and so that i’d be able to afford getting more copies printed if, you know, more than 150 people wanted to have the book. that’s all i’ve got right now.