small forwards

2

red string of fate tells you to go fuck yourself (literally)

8.29.17.

please don’t repost without permission, but icons are always free to use.

Hello everyone!! I’m doing a quick little giveaway because, well, just cause I want to HAHA But really I’ve been in a good place these days so I wanted to pay it forward in my own small way 💖💕

✨ One (1) person will receive:

  • Every Day6 October Concert Magazine
  • Every Day6 October Concert Light Band
  • Every Day6 October Concert Button Pin

✨ Rules:

  • please be following me 🙇🏻
  • you must be either 18 and above or have your parents’ consent to give me your name, address, and contact details to receive the prize
  • i will be counting reblogs and choosing the winner randomly (through a spreadsheet, cos i love excel HAHA)
  • if you reblog on a sideblog, please state your main blog in the tags
  • i can ship internationally
  • i’ll contact the winner through the ask box so please keep it open!
  • deadline to enter is on 26 October 2017

✨ that’s it lol good luck everyone!! 

Skyline {VII}

Originally posted by tom-cinnamonroll-holland

Warnings: Language, panic attack

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 3.1k

A/N: Guys!!!! This is the last part of Skyline.  Like, for real this time.  I’m so sad to see it end, but I’m also so happy that it’s had such success, and I can’t thank you guys enough for that.  You are all so so wonderful, and you have all my love.  As usual, I want to give a shout out to Zoe and Jen for reading my drafts and helping me edit and brainstorm, as well as encouraging me to write.  As for all of you, I hope you’ll forgive me for all the angst that I’ve hit you guys with (remember when Skyline was self-indulgent fluff lmao), and I really hope this makes up for it a bit.  In other news, tonight is the Spidereyhes Sleepover!!!!!!!!  All the info on the sleepover can be found here, as well as info about the livestream, which will start at 7pm PST.  I’ll post the link on here!! Zoe, Jen, and I will be discussing all kinds of things, answering questions, and talking about Skyline, so be sure to drop by!!! Also, if you have any questions about Skyline or anything else that you want answered, send it in!!!! It’s not too late yall.  Again, thank you so much, and I hope you’ve enjoyed Skyline as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

skyline: a mixtape

{masterlist}

{part i} {part ii} {part iii} {part iv} {part v}

Sitting up in your bed, you stared at the window, not sure of how to react to seeing Spider-Man’s masked face through the glass.  Throwing back your covers, you quietly walked over to the window, grabbing a hoodie that Peter had lent you as you passed your desk.  Sliding the glass panel up, you climbed out onto the metal fire escape, slipping on and zipping up Peter’s hoodie to protect you from the cold.

The superhero stood where he had first stood, the night he saved your life and blew up Vizzini’s all those months ago.  And there, to his right, were the flower pots that he had tripped over the first time he came back for you.  Those stairs were where you would sit and draw while he watched your fingers fly across the page, amazed at the pictures you created.  Behind him was the railing that you would lean against as you looked at the Queens skyline together.  This fire escape was your entire relationship condensed, the one location where you were allowed to be with each other.  If you used your imagination, you could almost see every single night playing out in front of your eyes.  Spider-Man, with a bendy straw underneath his mask.  Spider-Man, attempting to draw you in the moonlight.  Spider-Man, his hand on your waist and the other in your hair. Spider-Man.

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{PART 28} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Tricking Yoongi proves to be easier than you could have ever hoped, as you stumble upon just a taste of what your awakened abilities can achieve. However, in your haste to serve Yoongi punishment for his crimes; you and Jungkook learn that that life and death are just a means to an end - for every living thing…must one day, die.

“To play God not only means to give life; but take it as well. As she stared into the abyss, it stared right back at her…and she finally realised the true meaning behind all things living; even herself.”

|| Warning: This chapter contains mentions of blood and scenes that readers may find upsetting ||

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

{Part 1} //{Part 27} {Part 28} {Part 29}

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A really important line in Halo 4

Lasky: Chief, I won’t pretend to know how you feel. I’ve lost people I care about, but never anything you’re going through.

Why is this important?

Because Lasky has lost everyone. His brother, Cadmon. His squadmates: Chyler, Dima, JJ, Vickers. His instructor, Colonel Mehaffey. His Commanding Officer General Black. All of his schoolmates save for Michael Sullivan and April Orenski. And at this point in the universe, he has probably lost his mother too. And this is just the ones we know. We know nothing of his time as a Navy pilot, or really anything between Corbulo and the UNSC Infinity. 

So here we have this character who has gone through so much pain and suffering comforting John, who, in retrospect, only lost an AI. Not a flesh and bone person, not someone who lived a long life, or had a life cut short or anything really comparable to the losses Lasky has suffered. Yet, he still finds it within himself to genuinely and truthfully sympathize with John, and acknowledge John’s emotions without any prompting, and know when he’s pushed John just enough.

This is by far the main reason why I love Tom Lasky so much. His selfless, empathetic persona is a fantastic contrast to the grim and stoic UNSC personnel we’ve seen. Tom is someone deeply in tune with his emotions and unafraid of them; a rarity in the military (that comes from personal experience).  His emotionalism almost destroyed him at Corbulo. He let his anger towards Cadmon’s death reign, but Mehaffey saw the value in it. A soldier with empathy and compassion…a unique trait that set Tom Lasky apart from the rest of his squad and later, from the rest of the Infinity crew. 

Lasky has a trait that balances him perfectly against John, who vehemently rails against his emotions at an increasing rate through the game. And this, I think, is something often overlooked within Halo 4. 

DEAN X READER ALPHA/OMEGA SMUT

Title: Barking Up The Right Tree

Prompt: alpha/omega dean x reader first time

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Words: 1862

Warnings: SMUT, a/b/o verse, alpha!dean, omega!reader, beta!sam, knotting, heat, very slight fingering, kinda kinky trope, dirty talk, some fluff at the end

A/N: I’m still not taking requests, but this is just a teaser to keep your dirty little minds satisfied until I post again ;)

-

-

-

“S-Sam?” you call with a shaking voice. It’s only seven in the morning, and Dean had left for breakfast. Sam was here to watch you, as you had been feeling ill for a few days.

Sam races to your room and almost breaks down the door to get to you. He had always been protective like a big brother, and you knew he was trustworthy in this situation.

“Y/N? Are you—” He has to stop speaking to regain his composure. You were naked, but wrapped in your blankets. Even you could smell your slick.

“I thought you were a beta.” he mumbled, covering his mouth and nose.

“Yeah? Well me too.” You reply, a bit of anger in your voice.

“I’ll get you some things you’ll need. DON’T let Dean into your room.” Sam ordered. You roll your eyes and shoo him away, wanting to cover your scent before the alpha got home.

“I mean it, Y/N. Once he smells you, no amount of suppressants will stop him.”

Sam exits with a serious look on your face. You wait until he has left before you stand in all your naked glory, shutting your bedroom door. You were supposed to be a beta, never having experienced a heat before. Dean had never had any issues around you, and Sam was a beta as well. When you had woken up that morning though, you felt a hot wetness between your legs and a burning desire in your stomach. From friends’ stories, you knew you were in heat. Apparently, you were an omega.

You had at least thrown on a button up that Dean had lent you months ago, but it was so comfy that he allowed you to steal it. You wore it along with a simple pair of underwear. Sam arrived just as you curled up in your bed, after changing the scented sheets.

“I brought you heat spray, suppressant pills, and um…yeah.” the awkward beta handed you a bag. You thanked him and opened the sack, widening your eyes at the contents.

“Is that a…?”

“Yeah…”

“And I’m supposed to…?”

Sam nodded and gave you a small smile, leaning forwards and quickly kissing the top of your head.

“Good luck.” he grinned, heading towards the hallway. You glared at him as he left, making sure to lock and close your door.

Reluctantly, you pulled out the nine inch dildo and tossed it across the room. There was no way you’d use that thing. You set the pill bottle on the bedside table, deciding to use those later, and immediately sprayed the deodorizer around the room. It began to smell normal again, and not of sex and lust.

Things were alright for the first few hours, until you heard the bunker door open down stairs.

Dean was home.

Despite feeling perfectly fine just a few minutes earlier, your stomach began to painfully twist in knots and your thighs were coated in the wetness once more. You could smell Dean, and you wanted him, bad.

You hadn’t taken the suppressants, but you wished you had. The room was immediately scented, and the smell of your heat was everywhere, mixing with Dean’s scent that he was unknowingly emitting.

“D-Dean…” you whimpered, clenching and relaxing your thighs. You fell onto your back and bit your lip, overtaken by the sudden aching desire within your body. You wanted to be bred, your body wanted to be bred.

And you wanted your alpha to breed you.

There was a sudden commotion on the stairs, and you strained to hear over the blood pumping in your veins.

“Dean, no! Do you have any idea what will happen?” it was Sam, and you could hear his panicked words.

“Dammit Sammy! She needs me.” Dean growled in his alpha voice.

Sam was required to back off at his tone, but he carried on with his efforts. You whimpered and fisted the sheets as your desire grew.

Your door was nearly broken, this time the lock flying off. Sam was still trying to pull him away as he struggled to get to you, finally turning and growling at Sam to back off. The beta threw up his hands and stomped away, whilst Dean approached your body. He shut the door as best he could, obviously not able to lock it.

“Dean,” you whimpered. The bed dipped as he sat down, gently moving towards you. He stiffened when you reached out and touched him.

“You’ve been waiting so long…you’re burning up baby girl.” he murmured, taking your hand in his. At the alpha’s touch, you moaned and dug your nails into the mattress, needing release. Dean pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Alpha’s gonna take care of you.” he rumbled, beginning to unbutton your shirt.

You hadn’t put on a bra, and Dean cursed at your beautifully exposed breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking and gently biting the nub. He palmed the other, leaving you writhing in pleasure on the bed.

You gripped the collar of his jacket, urging him to take it off. He complied, throwing the leather material to the side. He grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged it over his head, getting on his hands and knees above your body. You could feel the heat radiating from his naked torso.

“I need you.” you whispered, trying to pull his body down to yours. He began to fervently kiss your neck and shoulders. You gasped and groaned at the contact, threading your fingers through his hair and moaning.

“What do you need me to do?” he growled against your skin. His hands trailed down your body to your thighs, cupping them and tugging you forcefully towards his body.

“Knot me.” you said almost shyly. He smiled and tucked his fingers beneath you, unclasping and removing your bra. He then took your shirt, or rather, his shirt, off you and tossed it near his own clothing.

“You want me to knot you baby?” he grumbled, kissing at your cheeks and chest. “Fill you up with my alpha seed?”

Dean reached down and pushed your panties aside, easing his index and middle finger in. You shivered as he collected some of your slick, taking his fingers into his mouth. He moaned at the taste and inhaled deeply, as though high. You were his drug.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, balancing his weight on one hand and reaching for his belt with the other. “You’re so ready to be bred, to be my little omega.” he spoke. His belt came off, and he hastily popped the button and zipper. You placed your palms flat on his chest and wriggled beneath him as he pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs.

You gasped as his cock bumped against your thigh, leaking his own alpha slick. His knot was already forming at the base, and you bit your lip thinking about him inside of you.

“Please, Dean.” You whined, wrapping your arms loosely around the alpha’s neck. He kissed your shoulder and reached a hand down, angling the large head against your pussy lips. You moaned as he rubbed against your slit, wetting his shaft in your slick and teasing your heat.

When he began to push in, you dug your nails into his biceps and cried out at the new sensation. Dean went slow, entering your body inch by inch until he was balls deep.

“Fuck Y/N…” he grunted, supporting himself on both arms above you. You squeezed your eyes shut at the ache, a satisfactory burning spreading through your body.

“Breed me, Dean.” you said softly. He was instantly thrown into his alpha rut, wrapping his large hand around your hip. His other fingers tangled with yours beside your head. You hissed through your teeth as he pumped his hips once.

He began to pick up a rhythm, pumping in and out of your soaking omega heat. Dean let out little grunts and grumbles as his cock met resistance against your tight depth.

“This is what you wanted me to do, right?” he grumbled, speeding up. His cock pounded into your trembling body, causing you to groan and hold onto his thick shoulders for dear life. Dean continued to assault your waiting sex.

“D-Dean…Dean…” you whimpered, wrapping your thighs around his waist. His hands went down to cup your thighs, using your body as leverage for his thrusts. You felt his knot building at the base of his shaft.

“Such a good little omega,” Dean grunted. “Taking your alpha’s cock, letting me breed you.”

You fisted the sheets and cried out as Dean lifted your body. He flipped you over on your stomach, leaning over and pinning you down with his cock still buried deep inside of you. His hips slammed into your ass with each heavy thrust, and he buried his face into your neck.

“I’m gonna fill you up with so much of my alpha seed.” he growled, causing you to whine in his grip. He continued to slam into your body for a few more minutes, eventually letting out a low guttural moan. You cried out as he gripped both of your hips and pushed himself deep into you, thickening against your outer lips.

His knot slowly eased into you, swelling and locking you together. Dean fell against your smaller frame and wrapped his arms around you.

He stilled as his cock twitched and pulsed within your depth, releasing his cum. He pushed your hair aside and made a nip on your neck, releasing a bit of blood. You gasped at being filled with his sperm, and the sudden realization.

“Dean, you just…”

“I mated my omega.” he mumbled, shielding your trembling body from the cold air. The thought of you being his omega brought you to a climax, sending waves of heated pleasure coursing through you. Dean held you tight as you gasped and wriggled, the torture of oversensitiveness almost breaking you.

You were locked together for nearly an hour until Dean’s knot was small enough to pull apart. He slid his softening prick out and fell next to you, gathering your body before you could slip away to clean up. He cuddled you to his chest and kissed the mated mark, lifting your chin and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. A happy warmth spread through you as his alpha cum dripped from your opening.

“Thank you, alpha.” you murmured, nuzzling into his shoulder. He held you close and sighed, still breathing heavily. Dean ran his fingers through your hair and allowed you to rest.

“I-I love you, Y/N.” he stammered. You lifted your head and smiled, kissing his chest. He returned a grin and curled one arm beneath his head, the other weaving around your body.

“I love you too Dean.” you replied. You settled on him and sighed contentedly.

“I knew you were an omega, before all of this.” he admitted. “I also knew that I’d be the one to knot and breed you, that I was your alpha.”

“Really?” you asked, a bit shocked.

“You would never listen to Sam, but you always obeyed me.” he winked. You rolled your eyes and playfully slapped his chest, still a bit shaken from having your first heat—and alpha.

It was only a few minutes later that your slick was heavy again and his knot began to swell once more…

a longer gentle reminder

there is always room for improvement; days will pass, regardless of circumstance, but just know that it does exactly that - good circumstances and the worse ones, they will pass with each given day

so, it’s okay to simply have a day; try your best to be proud that you’re here, that you are breathing and simply being

progress, no matter how little, is meaningful and important and should be celebrated - even simply realizing that you are having a set back makes a note to progress, because then you’re able to ease yourself into moving forward

take care of yourself please, breathe, try your best

you can do this - the progression may be small, or large, forward or backward, but progression is progression, as long as you’re moving for now

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“世選はぜったい大丈夫だよ(^^)”

Today on ‘I’m Gonna Cry over Fanart’

Haikyuu Fic Recs!

So I’m going to premise this rec list by saying that I like fics on the long-side so if you’re looking for short one-shots, you might not find what you’re looking for in this list. I’m not a huge fan of angst (although that doesn’t mean there isn’t any in this list, just not a lot), I enjoy smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) , I like a fair few rarepairs and I like to think that I’m extremely picky when it comes to how something is written, pacing etc. I’ve read all the fics in this list multiple times, they are definitely my all-time favourites. I organized these as best as I could and included the rating, word count and summary from the author for each. 

(Fics with a ♡ beside them are my 100% must-reads.)

Recs are under the cut, happy reading! 

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

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in case you haven’t heard it today:

i’m proud of you.
you are getting through this.
yes, shit is hard but

you are you doing this. you are pushing forward.

progress is progress, no matter how small the step forward is.

don’t stop now

4 O’Clock || pjm

TREAT

Pairing: JIMIN X READER

Summary: Your roommate keeps bringing boys over and you have thin walls. but that gives you a good excuse to go nap in your crush’s dorm.

Genre: fluff, college au

Length: 0.9k

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMIN!! also i totally didnt write a thing because i knew this would be the perfect gif nope

Originally posted by herthealbum

Mornings were Jimin’s favourite time of the day, the morning chorus would begin with a few birds at first, always singing a new tune with a sky streaked with pinks and purples as a background. But all of it was broken when he heard the door to his dorm slam open, turning in alarm to watch you rush in with your cheeks a dark shade of red.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” He asked turning on his balcony to face you with his arms crossed, the thin white curtains fluttered slightly in the wind and Jimin tried to suppress any feelings of happiness form showing on his face as he tried to make you explain the reason why you had barged into his dorm so early.

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unpopular opinion

aquamarine’s design is good. here’s why
-fae theme
-prep school uniform outfit with the diamond incorporated for the tie and collared shirt
-confirmed really small gem!! like the one setting for the ruby ship
-teardrop gem underneath eye
-the teardrop fits well into her personality (i.e. faux empathy/childishness)
-wings and bow fit into the fae/insect theme as well
-fat and small!
-her wand has connotations both as a discipline wand and as a faerie wand
-traditional faeries are mischievous troublemakers and pests but often clever
-her outfit already tells us a lot about her- a rich, prissy vibe as well as a more aristocratic position
-her fae appearance may have influenced human mythology in the suniverse
-not conventionally attractive
-distinct shapes and silhouette
-she’s SUPPOSED to look annoying and punchable
-small appearance moved forward the “are you my dad?” narrative
-her weapon is creative and the slap wristband jokes are really good
it’s ok if you don’t like her design! but please be considerate of the thought put into it by the team. concept art has likely existed for years, as with all the characters and plot heavy episodes.

The Bughead reconciliation we deserved

This is totally rushed and emotionally charged and probably has errors but enjoy

Jughead trudged home, the energy sapped from his body as the crushing weight of reality pushed further onto his shoulders. He couldn’t believe it: Mr. Phillips, the one person at Southside who had appeared to take genuine interest in Jughead, was the Sugarman. As if he didn’t have enough going against him.

He walked up the steps to the trailer, quickly slamming open the door and preparing to head straight for the fridge when he realized that the door should have been locked. 

He looked up, surprised to find a very nervous looking Betty Cooper standing in his living room. Quickly glancing down to check her fists, a habit he would need to work on letting go, Jughead breathed a small sigh of relief to find her fingernails free of her palms.

The relief was short lived, however, as an uncomfortable tension settled between them.

“What are you doing here?”

His voice was rough, a combination of anger and exhaustion giving his tone a darker coloring. Betty took a nervous breath, and he couldn’t help but feel a small sense of satisfaction as her eyes clouded with apprehension. She should be on edge. She didn’t belong here, not after she made it very clear that she was too good for Serpent trash like him. 

“Jug, there’s something I need to tell you.” She took a small step forward, to which Jughead parried with a small step back. He watched as her lips, once warm and lush and pink, tightened into a thin white line. 

“What? Are you here to tell me that you still love me again?” He crossed his arms across his chest, releasing a laugh that contained absolutely no humor. “Pretty sure you’ve already poured enough salt on that wound for one week, thanks.”

He moved into the kitchen, hoping that if he just walked away maybe she would get the message and let herself out. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He already had so much going wrong this week.

Of course, in typical Betty Cooper fashion, she didn’t leave. Instead she followed him toward the kitchen, leaning over the counter as she watched his back.

“Jughead, please. I need to tell you the truth. There are things you don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” Jughead mumbled beneath his breath, opening the fridge and pretending to survey it’s decidedly empty shelves.

He didn’t even have to look up to know Betty had furrowed her brow, “What does that mean?” She asked, her voice hardening just a bit.

He closed the fridge, looking her dead in the eye with as cold an expression as he could manage.

“Toni and I kissed. More than once.”

He wasn’t sure why he said it - maybe because he wanted to hurt her like she’d hurt him, or because he wanted to prove to her that he was fine without her. Something inside him told him it was more likely that he was simply incapable of keeping such truth from her. Absolutely none of him felt any better when he saw the pain in her eyes.

“Oh.” She whispered, her eyes flickering down to the floor, “Did it - I mean - Did it mean anything?”

Jughead shrugged, “What does it matter? You broke up with me, remember?”

“I did it to protect you!” Betty’s voice rose suddenly, before quickly finding its way back down to a whisper, “I did it to protect you.”

Jughead sighed, backing out of the kitchen to meet Betty on the other side of the dividing wall, “From what? The Serpents? Newsflash - you’re a little late.” He pushed up the sleeve of his t-shirt, revealing the black and green ink that hid underneath. Betty’s eyes widened, just a bit, but she quickly composed herself. Not that it mattered - he knew she was judging him. “Go ahead,” He growled, “Say it - say what you’re thinking. Say all the things you sent Archie to.”

“Jughead that’s not - What Archie said, none of it was true.” Betty looked up at him, her glassy green eyes searching his for even a semblance of understanding. “I told you I would support you, and I meant it. I still do.”

Jughead was reeling with emotion. Why did she have to be here? Saying these stupid things in that stupid soft voice of hers and looking at him with those stupid eyes. His whole body ached just thinking about her, her very presence leaving him feeling like an addict who had just been offered one last hit. He wanted her out, wanted the pain to just stop, but he took one last mistaken look at her crumpled appearance and couldn’t stop his heart from faltering.

“If what Archie said wasn’t true, then why would you break up with me? Why would you -” Jughead’s voice gave out, his throat tightening as he attempted to hold back his emotions, “Why would you take away the only good thing I had left?”

“Jughead,” Betty stepped forward, reaching out to stroke his face on instinct before realizing better and pulling away. 

“Just tell me what is going on Betty.” He was practically pleading now, desperate to know why she had left him. Why, if she never wanted to see him again, she had insisted on helping with the drag race and jumped in his car to ensure they both escaped the police safely. Why, if she really didn’t want him to be a part of his life anymore, she would tell him she still loved him.

Betty took a deep breath, and Jughead braced himself for whatever was about to come next.

“The Black Hood - he contacted me.”

“With the letter, I know.” 

Betty shook her head, “The letter was just the beginning. Last week, I started getting these phone calls. He’s been calling me, threatening me, threatening Polly and Veronica, threatening…”

“Me?” Jughead asked, the pieces in his mind slowly clicking together. He couldn’t believe he had been stupid. He had been too distracted by his insecurities and his anger to recognize what had been going on. He hadn’t even questioned it when Archie had appeared at his door, hadn’t even doubted that Betty was abandoning him. He’d just left her at the mercy of a psychopath. “Oh God, Betty -”

“Please,” Betty started, “forgive me Jughead. I… I understand if you want to be with Toni, if she makes you happy, but I don’t think I can live with myself if you don’t forgive me.”

She looked so small standing in front of him, so vulnerable and so very unlike the Betty Cooper he had fallen for. She had sacrificed so much for him, he couldn’t believe he’d been so selfish.

“Betty,” Jughead rushed forward, capturing her cheeks in his hands and pressing his lips in a bruising kiss. She released a slight sob against his lips, quickly grasping on to the fabric of his shirt and relaxing against him. He breathed her in, the fog that had been surrounding him lifting and giving way to a buzz of pure adrenaline. When pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers and wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “I’m so so sorry. I can’t believe I didn’t even notice -”

“No, Jughead - it’s my fault.” Betty placed a hand over his heart, “If I had just talked to you -”

“We should have talked to each other.” He reached up and took her hand into his own, melding his fingers with hers and wishing he could never let go, “I shouldn’t have just taken Archie at his word. I should have fought for you -”

Betty cut him off with a kiss, softer than the first but just as full. “Let’s just forget all of it, okay?” She smiled at him, that wonderful Betty Cooper smile. It hadn’t even been a week, but oh how he’d missed that smile.

If love were a drug, Betty Cooper was, without a doubt, the most addictive of them all.

“I love you.” He whispered against her chin, slowly tracing kisses along her jawline as his fingers trailed around her waist. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Betty captured his face in her hands, bringing his eyes up to meet her own. They were brighter than before, shining exactly the way he remembered them at night. “I love you too.” She said, her lips brushing against his with every syllable, before crashing down into him once more.

You made me love you

Coda to 12x23 based on this scene

The door opens with a creak, drawing Castiel’s attention from his hands. They have been mindlessly picking at a loose thread on his trench for however long he’s been sitting here. Dean enters, that same distracted, tired look on his face that’s present much too often nowadays. It takes a moment for Dean to realize he’s not alone in his room - that Castiel is sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Cas?”

“Sit down.”

Dean sighs, a quiet thing that makes his shoulders slouch as if the weight of the world was set upon them.

“Cas, it’s la–”

“You’re avoiding me.” It’s blunt, Castiel realizes. It’s the end of a long day, another hunt come and gone, and he knows Dean’s tired. But he’s come to his end with trying to get Dean to talk to him or even look at him. Something has been wrong ever since he came back. Sam seems perfectly fine; welcoming Castiel back with friendly smiles and conversation outside of working a case. Dean’s another story, though. Whenever Castiel walks into a room, Dean leaves. When they brush past each other in the kitchen, Dean flinches as if burned. There’s hardly any talking. Next to no eye contact. The times Castiel tries too hard to pull more than a few words out of Dean, it only results in a snippy remark. But Castiel can’t stand this wall that’s been built between them any longer.

When Dean doesn’t say anything, Castiel gets to his feet and approaches him.

“You and Sam are all I have. There’s no one else. So the way you’ve been brushing me off, snapping at me, just –” Castiel huffs a breath, feeling himself getting worked up. “Look, I don’t know what you’re so angry at or scared of and I can’t, for the life of me, figure it out because you’re avoiding me. But I’m scared too, Dean. I can’t deal with what happened alone and – and if you’re – if you won’t –” Castiel cuts himself off, words failing him inelegantly. “Please, Dean, I need…”

Castiel begins to reach out to put his hand on Dean’s shoulder just to be able to ground himself, but Dean’s hand flashes up to stop him from going any farther. Castiel glances at their contact, the grip on his wrist a little too tight, before he looks back into Dean’s troubled eyes.

“You died.” The words are soft. Then, as if saying them triggered something, anger builds within Dean’s expression, his voice becoming louder. “You died. You fucking died and I then I had to see you with your wings burned into the damn ground.”

Castiel’s rendered speechless, unable to do anything but stare into those heated green eyes.

“You wanna know what I’m scared of? I’m scared of everything, Cas! I’m scared to move, I’m scared to – to breathe. I’m scared to touch you,” Dean yells, a pain resonating underneath the anger. Emotion is making it hard for Castiel to take even the smallest of breaths. Then, in a gentler voice, Dean continues.

“I can’t lose you, do you understand that? I’ve already seen you – I’ve seen you die too many times, and it’s getting harder and harder to survive after that.” Dean drops Castiel’s wrist to point accusingly at him, the intensity returning to his eyes. Their faces are too close now, but Castiel doesn’t dare back away. “And that’s your fault, Castiel. You – you made me love you, you made me let you in. And then you fucking died in front of me!”

Castiel swallows thickly. Dean loves him.

He waits for Dean to continue, but it seems all the words have been drained out of him. Castiel takes a small step forward, setting his hand on the side of Dean’s face, a pang of – of something hurting him when Dean leans into the touch and closes his eyes. Castiel closes the space between them to press a soft kiss to Dean’s lips. It’s a second later that he realizes what he’s doing, and he’s about to pull back and apologize when Dean presses back, returning the kiss. Castiel feels wetness collide along the hand on Dean’s cheek. Despite Dean’s anger, the kiss is gentle and tender with only a hint of desperation taking form in the way his hands fist themselves into Castiel’s trench to pull him closer. In all the times Castiel’s imagined kissing Dean would be like, this was never one of them.

Castiel breaks the kiss after a moment, entirely overwhelmed by the past sixty seconds, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans his forehead against Dean’s as they breathe together, Dean’s a little heavier as more tears slip down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel whispers.

Dean breathes out a shaky breath. “I know.”

This time it’s Dean who connects their lips together in another kiss, one that tastes of tears and longing, before he’s wrapping Castiel into a tight embrace and his breath tickles the side of his neck. Castiel brings his arms to wrap around Dean’s neck, clutching tight to his shoulders. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready to let go, but for now, this is the extent of Castiel’s world. No words need to be said anymore. This is all that matters.