small bicycle

I do this every year. Here are my favorite song released this year.  There was a lot I found this year that I loved thats not on this because it was older stuff.  But here what was released on albums this year.  In no particular order… except Small Black - Real People. THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE!  Also I was trying to embed them but it just became too many so I just put links instead.

Small black - Real People

Craft spells - Changing Faces

Stars - No One is Lost

Phantogram - Celebrating Nothing

The War on Drugs - Disapearing

Wild Cub - Wild Light

Tom Vek - You’ll Stay

Bored Nothing - Do What You Want Always

Clubz - Golpes Bajos

The Drums - I Can’t Pretend

Royskopp - Sorid Affair

Bombay Bicycle Club - Luna

x priest x - Isn’t it so

Jessie Ware - Tough Love

ASTR - We Fall Down

Tov Lo - My Gun

Years & Years - Real

Day Wave - Nothing at All

Soldier’s Heart - New Housie

Broods - Bridges

Dornik - Rebound

When Your Doggo 🐶 Goes For A Walk 🚶 🚶 ☀
  • Doggo: *relaxes on the couch, flipping through channels by pawing the remote* THE PROGRAMS ON THIS MOVING IMAGE BOX ARE ALL INSUFFERABLY INANE. I HOPE MY HUMANS RETURN HOME SOON. I DO NOT THINK I CAN TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS BANALITY.
  • Doggo: *flips to the local news*
  • Newscaster: Reports of a man in a cartoon wolf suit harassing and attacking random people have increased in the last week. Two men in the lower east side of the city claim to have been attacked by the man and they're saying that this wolf is nothing to bark at.
  • *cuts to an interview*
  • Drunk Man 1: You recording?
  • Someone Off Camera: Yeah, it's rolling.
  • Drunk Man 1: Oh shit!
  • Someone Off Camera: Please, try not to cuss.
  • Drunk Man 1: Fuck, sorry. It's just-
  • Drunk Man 2: *barges onto camera and pours beer over self* We beat the FUCK out of that dude! Whoop whoop! I don't care who the fuck you are: wolf man, clown, fucking draculas, you come out of the woods looking at me weird you're getting your dirty ass bea-
  • *cuts back to newscaster*
  • Newscaster: Uhm... many residents of the city have dubbed this furry attacker as the Third-Eyed Wolf. Currently, the Third-Eyed Wolf is still at large. Authorities are advising everyone to remain vigilante and *TV turns off*
  • Doggo: THIRD-EYED WOLF? IMPOSSIBLE. AN IMPOSTOR. I HAVE TO VISIT THIS NEWS FACILITY AND MAKE THEM FIX THEIR ERROR.
  • Doggo: *walks up to the apartment door, stares up at it and takes in how large it is* ...DARN. THIS TINY DOG'S BODY WILL DO ME NO GOOD.
  • Doggo: *glances over at an open window* SALVATION.
  • Doggo: *hops onto the windowsill, and hops out of the window, fall is cushioned by a garbage bag below*
  • Doggo: *walks to the front of the apartment complex and spots a cyclist*
  • Doggo: *walks in front of the cyclist's pathway*
  • Cyclist: *breaks* Whoa! I almost hit you, puppy. Aren't you cute!
  • Doggo: *wan* *wan*! I AM NOT CUTE, HUMAN. YOUR FATHER WAS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOUR WIFE IS UNFAITHFUL. YOUR LIFE IS A WASTE. ABANDON YOUR PEDDLING DEVICE AND WALK INTO TRAFFIC.
  • Cyclist: Guh, y-you're right. Nothing matters. *drops bike, walks into traffic*
  • *cars swerve trying to avoid the cyclist*
  • Doggo: *hops onto the fallen bicycle* ...MY SMALL PUPPY BODY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO OPERATE THIS DEVICE.
  • Cyclist: *still walking through traffic, only narrowly avoiding being hit*
  • Doggo: HUMAN, RETURN. YOUR MISERABLE LIFE HAS SOME WORTH YET. I AM IN NEED OF YOUR ASSISTANCE.
  • Cyclist: *turns to look at doggo* Huh? Me?
  • Cyclist: *gets hit by a truck*
  • Doggo: ...DARN.
  • Passerby: *screams as she watches the cyclist get hit*
  • Doggo: *wan* *wan*! EVERYONE CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR SHALLOW FEIGNED CONCERN. YOU'RE IMPRESSING NO ONE. YOUR LIFE IS AS EMPTY AS YOU THINK IT IS, AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. ANY AND ALL INTERACTIONS WITH YOU ARE ACTS OF PURE PITY.
  • Passerby: *gets teary eyed* Really?
  • Doggo: ABSOLUTELY. NOW MOUNT THIS PEDDLING DEVICE AND TRANSPORT ME TO THE NEWS FACILITY.
  • Passerby: *sits on the ground* I don't think I want to. I just want to sit here and waste away.
  • Doggo: YOU CAN DO THAT ON YOUR OWN TIME. NOW, I NEED YOUR HELP.
  • Passerby: What help am I? You can find someone much better than me to help you. I never even learned to ride a bike. I just want to curl up and die.
  • Doggo: ...DARN. YOU GO WALK INTO TRAFFIC TOO THEN.
  • Passerby: I don't want to. I don't even deserve to be smashed across a car's window like a fly. I just want to sit here until I starve.
  • Doggo: YOU ARE BEING OVER DRAMATIC. PATHETIC. PERHAPS I AM TOO GOOD AT THIS.
  • *an ambulance shows up*
  • Doggo: CLERICS?
  • *EMTs rush out of the ambulance to tend to the cyclist*
  • Ambulance Driver: Looks gruesome, jeez.
  • Doggo: *wan* *wan*!
  • Ambulance Driver: Hey there, little puppy! What are you doing in the street, bud? It's dangerous.
  • Doggo: YOU HAVE A MASS GROWING IN YOUR BRAIN. IT IS TERMINAL. EVEN IF YOU GET SURGERY, YOU WILL DIE FROM IT. FURTHERMORE, YOUR DAUGHTER WON'T EVEN CARE MUCH ONCE YOU ARE GONE.
  • Ambulance Driver: *sweats nervously* You can't possibly know that. I don't have a mass in brain.
  • Doggo: YOU ARE RIGHT. I CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW. HOWEVER, I DO KNOW WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND. THE MIGRAINES, THE LIGHTHEADEDNESS, IT BOTHERS YOU. DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM THOSE SYMPTOMS HAVE TERMINAL CANCER? ALSO, YOUR DAUGHTER'S ALOOFNESS IS NOT JUST A "TEENAGER THING". SHE HATES YOU. THE RESULT OF BAD PARENTING. SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH HER MOTHER. DRIVE YOUR VEHICLE INTO YOUR FRIENDS OVER THERE.
  • Ambulance Driver: *revs engine*
  • Doggo: ON THE OTHER HAND, DO NOT. I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. DRIVE ME TO THE NEWS FACILITY. THEN RUN PEOPLE OVER.
  • Ambulance Driver: *opens passenger door* Absolutely.
  • Doggo: *hops inside the ambulance* GOOD. MAKE HASTE.
  • *ambulance drives off*
  • Me: *walking back to the apartment complex with my roommate*
  • Roommate: So, are you feeling better now.
  • Me: No, I think I'm feeling worse knowing that my roommate is a complete sociopath!
  • Roommate: *nearly trips over passerby on the sidewalk* Watch where you're sitting, you homeless bum! I could've gotten hurt.
  • Passerby: ...
  • Roommate: The city should do something about these vagrants. Like, I can feel property values dropping just looking at them.
  • Me: *looks at the accident in the street* Jesus, what happened?
  • Roommate: Looks like some kind of car accident. Who cares, it's not like it's any of our business.

weird crit role dream i had that took place in a weirdly huge and empty wal-mart:

  • sitting in around a campfire w vox machina in the freezer aisle. get everyone popsicles (the kind in a tube) Vax throws a shit fit bc i gave him a yellow one and he can’t stand banana flavored things
  • Vax apologizing when he realized it was lemon, not banana
  • shopping cart races to rescue Scanlan (???) threatened to kick Percy in the dick bc he jumped onto my cart and fucked up my balance
  • Grog in a shopping cart
  • Trinket in a shopping cart
  • some sketchy ass dude w miniature horses??? in wal-mart??? he kidnapped Scanlan??? idfk??
  • Vex riding a hilariously too small child’s bicycle (training wheels included) thru the aisles with Trinket pattering after her
  • Pike in a barbie jeep wearing sunglasses and saying “later, sluts” and driving directly into a stack of boxes
  • Grog riding behind Pike in the barbie jeep– saying “beep beep motherfucker” when they almost run over Percy
  • i have no fucking clue

Why is time changeable when I’m with you?


When we’re having breakfast in bed and our bodies naked under the white sheets of our white bed—only to realize that we’re late for work.
 

It felt like a few minutes that evolved into a few hours. 


And I’ve only known you for a few months. But why does it feel like I’ve known you a few years back? 


Have we met in another time, another existence?


Have we met in a local diner downtown? Were you my seatmate when I was in kinder? Were you the smiling girl riding the small purple bicycle on my street every 5:00 pm when I was still 12 years old? 


Please tell me you’re all of them. Please tell me you’ve known me in a time when we were still unknown. Please tell me you loved me in a time when love for us was still a mystery.

—  Juansen Dizon
The Ashes

Jerry comes home to an answering machine filled with messages from someone who identifies himself only as “The Action Man”. “I’ve loved all I’ve needed love,” the voice proclaims, before launching into increasingly sordid and graphic depictions of his romantic affairs.

“Well I’m certainly not happy about this!” moans Jerry.

A hair falls out of George’s head while he pays for a hot dog from a street vendor. It distracts him so much that he drops a dollar bill, which blows away in a gust of wind and tumbles into a sewer grate. Over the course of the following weeks, through increasingly bizarre coincidences, he continues to lose both hair and money simultaneously until he has none of either.

Elaine befriends a billionaire. Not wanting to seem unworldly or unworthy of the woman’s time, she accepts every one of her invitations, despite being exhausted by her adventurous lifestyle. Eventually, the two climb a mountain together, but get trapped by an intense storm near the summit that glazes their tent in a thick sheet of ice. Elaine realizes too late that she dropped the axe outside while running for shelter.

Kramer is repeatedly pursued by a gang of children on small bicycles who call themselves “The Green Wheels”. Every time they give chase, he dives into a dumpster to hide.

Listening to the eighth message, Jerry identifies “The Action Man” as his father using a disguised voice and recoils in horror. “Oh no!” he wails. “Don’t say it’s true!”

WARNING: MY MOTHER SAID, “TO GET THINGS DONE, YOU’D BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM”

WARNING: MY MOTHER SAID, “TO GET THINGS DONE, YOU’D BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM”