ROP FIVE MOMENTS REI WAS A RIDICULOUS HONEY NUT FRUITCAKE GO
You are pandering to me so hard right now, all these months in the past.
TOP FIVE MOMENTS REI HINO WAS AN ABSURD TOASTER STRUDEL (as leap immediately to mind because ASKSHARKNADO Apocalypse) LET’S GO
5. “One to read, one to save, one to sell.” [Episode 134, “Makoto’s Friendhip! A Girl Who Adores a Pegasus”]
The time Rei became an 90s comic book collector and schooled everyone on the proper way to get an autograph for a favoured book THAT SHE LITERALLY ONLY LEARNED ABOUT THE DAY BEFORE BECAUSE THE OTHERS WERE TALKING ABOUT IT
AND THEN AFTER EXPLAINING SHE KEPT WALKING AWAY GIGGLING TO HERSELF BECAUSE REI-CHAN IS A FORWARD-THINKING LITTLE MAIDEN AND HAS NO IDEA WHY EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT HER THAT WAY
4. “I have a plan!” [Episode #15, “Usagi is Frantic! Rei’s First Date”]
The time Rei decided she wanted to take a date to the park that’s about to close, for no other reason than the fact Usagi wanted it first, but that isn’t why this ranks. She decided Mamoru will be the one to take her for an assorted fruit snack pouch of reasons that are all delicious but are also not why this ranks. This ranks because Rei does her research, determines the best time to spring this on Mamoru (WHO SHE HAS NEVER BEFORE SAID TWO WORDS TO), lies in wait for him, visualizes her rousing success, and executes her plan with every ounce of Rei Hino enthusiasm.
AND PROMPTLY TRIPS AND BUSTS HER FACE AND MAMORU STEPS ON HER
BUT REI DOESN’T LET THAT STOP HER AND BY GOD TWENTY SECONDS LATER SHE’S GOT HER DATE
IT’S AN AWKWARD AND HORRIBLE DATE BUT SHE SET OUT WITH A PLAN AND SHE ACCOMPLISHED IT IN THE MOST RIDICULOUS WAY POSSIBLE BECAUSE REI HINO IS A DISASTER OF A HUMAN BEING BUT GETS WHAT SHE FUCKING WANTS
3. “Starring: Me.” [Episode 54: “The Culture Fest is for Me! Queen Rei Sings With Passion.”]
The time Rei worked her ass off organizing her school’s festival and then revealed she was making herself the star performer at the concert.
BECAUSE IF SHE’S DOING ALL THE WORK WHY THE FUCK NOT
THERE IS NOT ONE DROP OF SHAME ABOUT THIS
AND WHEN HER FRIENDS FIND THIS OUT THEY’RE JUST RELIEVED BECAUSE YES THAT IS EXACTLY THE REI HINO THEY KNOW AND LOVE
2. “Glaring is an appropriate tactic.” [Episode 11, “Usagi vs. Rei! A Nightmare in Dreamland”]
The time Rei suspected the Dream Princess at the amusement park was evil, and so decided the best way to prove this was to sit several yards away in plain view, back ramrod straight, fists clenched in lap, barely blinking, AND GLARE AT HER UNTIL SHE DID THE SUSPECTED EVIL.
I have no words for how much I love that this was Rei’s decision. And this was her first episode after reawakening. THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS HOW THE CREATORS CHOSE TO FIRST REALLY INTRODUCE REI TO US AND BLESS THEM FOREVER FOR IT
1. “Did you call?” [Episode 194, “Holy War in the Galaxy, The Sailor Wars Legend”]
THE TIME REI RAN HALFWAY ACROSS TOKYO IN SEVEN SECONDS BECAUSE USAGI BLEW A WHISTLE
AND THAT WASN’T COINCIDENCE THAT WAS A FUCKING PLAN
THAT WHISTLE SERVES ONE FUNCTION ALONE AND THAT FUNCTION IS TO SUMMON REI HINO WHEN AND WHERE SHE IS NEEDED
WHEREVER SHE MAY BE WHATEVER SHE IS DOING SHE WILL BE THERE
SHE’LL BE THE CRANKIEST OF CREATURES ABOUT IT BUT SHE’LL FUCKING BE THERE
THAT THE REI WHISTLE EXISTS AS A LITERAL THING IN CANON IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT HAND-ENGRAVED TO ME
Bonus! “I made it myself.” [Sailor Moon Musical]
The time Rei leapt into battle with her evil clone.
Wearing a sign that read “The Real One”.
So you would be able to easily identify The Only Legitimate Rei Hino.
And she made that sign herself.
AND THEN HAD TO SPECIFICALLY TELL YOU SHE MADE IT
BECAUSE EVEN THE SIGN CANNOT BE A CHEAP IMITATION
YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND PRECISELY HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT YOU RECOGNIZE THE ONE TRUE REI HINO
SHE EVEN TOOK THE TIME IN BATTLE TO STAMP HER FUCKING NAME ON IT
THERE ARE SO MANY LEVELS TO THIS SINGLE MOMENT THAT I AM STILL AFTER ALL THIS TIME SHRIEKING ABOUT IT
REI HINO IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS HONEY NUT FRUITCAKE AND I LOVE HER