the houses as things my dad has done
  • gryffindor: allowed his kids to go wild attacking him with water pistols in front of his peers and a lot of electrical equipment
  • hufflepuff: almost died dancing to 'cotton eyed joe' in a lion costume in church on the hottest day of the year
  • slytherin: got drunk and censored the wrong part of m******fucker
  • ravenclaw: walked into a pole because he was too busy admiring the architecture of a bridge
The Hogwarts House as Students (Based on People I Know)

Gryffindor

  • listens to anime osts while studying
  • highlights everything, gOD
  • acts like a roman orator during class reports
  • “pisses off” the teacher with their jokes but is secretly probably the teacher’s fave student
  • mnemonics
  • either studies ahead of time or DOESN’T SLEEP FOR 48 HOURS BECAUSE THEY PROCRASTINATED (there is no in between)
  •  flashcards galore
  • gets elected as class president because their friends thought it would be funny (but is actually pretty good at the job??)
  • determination to succeed even when they’re already too done with everything

Ravenclaw

  • has 100 highlighters and a system for how to use them
  • “do you think i’ll still have to take the exam if i die from caffeine overdose?”
  • really creative bullet journals (or minimalist layouts)
  • “how do you have such perfect handwriting?”
    “oh, it’s always been that way.”
    *actually spent 1000 hours perfecting it*
  • scrolls through the studyblr tag and calls it studying
  • posts something on studyblr and calls it studying
  • procrastinates a lot tbh. 
  • classical music
  • gets anxious about not studying. still not studying because they’re too anxious to start. (relatable?)
  • always getting irrational thoughts about their “failing” grades

Hufflepuff

  • lots of colorful pens
  • a e s t h e t i c  study spaces
  • extra af when it comes to projects (they’ll probably wear a mammoth costume during their report about the ice age. y’know, for authenticity)
  • working really hard for a subject they are not good at. feeling very satisfied when they get a high grade on that subject.
  • probably expects the worst so they don’t get disappointed
  • helping others study
  • sharing their notes
  • comforts other students who are having nervous breakdowns but they probably need comforting as well
  • all-nighters. 

Slytherin

  • motivational quotes
  • studying extra hard for a subject someone told them they’re not good at, purely for the satisfaction of proving them wrong
  • they’re e x t r a af, in general
  • getting really high grades, but only seeing that one grade that was lower than they expected
  • either really organized or really messy (but, like, in an organized way)
  • mind maps and flowcharts
  • look calm as fuck when it comes to tests but it’s probably because they’re disassociating lmao
  • working hard not just because they like it, but because they simply don’t like the thought of failing
  • really supportive of their friends but at the same time bitter when they get higher marks at something (but only because they see it as a sign of personal failure)
  • has high standards for them themselves. at the same time, they feel like everyone expects too much of them.
Having crushes.
  • Slytherin : *enters the great hall dramatically with their robe giving that bad ass Darth Vader effect*
  • Slytherin: *points at Hufflepuff* with the exception of you I dislike everyone in this room.
  • Hufflepuff: and I like you too.

Draco, at Platform 9 ¾: Ready for fifth year?

Scorpius: Yeah, I’m a little nervous about the O.W.L.S though…

Draco: Don’t be. Study hard and I’m sure your exams will be straight fire

Scorpius: what?

Draco: oh, did I mess that one up? I meant they’ll be lit

Scorpius: you did not just say that

Draco: Stop acting salty, Scorpius. You’ll be upset on the train.

Scorpius: oh my god

Draco: Speaking of which, say hi to the squad for me.

Scorpius: Dad

Scorpius: Dad stop

Draco:</b> Why? I’m just trying to be hip like my son

Scorpius: oh my god I don’t know you

Scorpius: this isn’t happening

Scorpius, to crowd: I don’t know him

Draco: that was savage

Scorpius: dad stop

Molly Weasley watched her third oldest son turning his back to their family but never gave up on him.

Molly Weasley saw her husband at his weakest moment as he laid wounded in St. Mungo’s hospital. She never understood what muggles thought when they started praying to their god(s):                                                                         But that night as she sat at her husband’s hospital bed she couldn’t help but fold her hands, close her eyes and just hope that there was indeed a greater deity that could bring her husband back to her family.

Molly Weasley put a bandage around her fifth son’s head when he was bleeding onto her sofa, his ear ripped away. She did not let her heart and actions be ruled by panic and fear. She would not  risk her son’s life like that.

Molly Weasley saw her son that wasn’t her son dead in Hagrid’s arms and did not show how she broke inside. Instead, she gripped her wand a little tighter, bit her lip a little stronger and started to fight a lot grimmer.

Molly Weasley cried over her fourth son’s cold body, his last laugh still etched into his face. She witnessed her fifth son crumbling right then and there. She saw her family grieving and crying. She went through hell but reminded herself to keep going.

Molly Weasly got up and stared straight into the eyes of Narcissa Malfoy. 

Proud woman, blonde hair, pale skin.

Split lips, bloody cloak, sad eyes.

They did not exchange one word.

But one glance was enough.

Narcissa’s eyes darted to Fred, to Harry, then back to Molly. Her lean finger’s tightened indiscernibly around her son’s bony shoulder.

A nod.

The war had taken enough lifes. Enough children.

And as one mother to another, Molly Weasley nodded back.

Gryffindor, to Hufflepuff: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?

Hufflepuff: I don’t know, how are yo-

Slytherin, from across the room: I’m great thanks.

  • Person: It's september 1st
  • Me: oh, cool
  • Me, internally: Underneath these stairs, I hear the sneers and feel glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt. I can't believe how cruel they are and it stings my lighting scar to know that they'll never ever give me what I want.
  • I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursleys here on Pri-
  • Slytherin: *laying face-down on their bed*
  • Hufflepuff: Hey, Sly. You doing okay?
  • Slytherin: *muffled* I just need a bit of a break from everything.
  • Slytherin: Including existing.
  • Hufflepuff: Alright. If that's what you want.
  • Hufflepuff: *plops face-down on Slytherin's bed with them*
  • Slytherin: *looks up in confusion* What are you doing?
  • Hufflepuff: *looks up at Slytherin* I'm taking a break from existing with you.
  • Slytherin: *smiles slightly*
  • Both: *lay face down in silence until Slytherin feels better*
The Houses as Literary Quotes
  • Gryffindor: "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." -E.E.Cummings
  • Ravenclaw: "I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of the heart's affections and the truth of the imagination." -John Keats
  • Hufflepuff: "Where there is great love there are always miracles." -Willa Cather
  • Slytherin: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” - Rumi
The Houses as Video Game Things

Hufflepuff:

Only picking the nice dialogue options. Carrying around way too much stuff because “what if it might be helpful later?”  Pausing a fight because you’re about to die and need to use a health potion. Being really good at puzzles and minigames. Balancing your skills so that you do well in a fight, regardless of the circumstances. Never wearing matching armor. Fighting the same enemy over and over again and cheering when you finally beat them. Panicking whenever dark music starts to play. Having to walk everywhere because you’re carrying too much to fast-travel.

Ravenclaw:

Spending 2+ hours on the customize character screen. Getting emotionally attached to the NPCs. Using actual strategy to plan out your quests/fights. Always having a lot of money but never having anything to spend it on.  Spending all of your level-up points in one category.Never getting caught when you steal things, but only taking small items because you’re afraid that someone will notice if you take something big. Wasting a lot of lockpicks on something that doesn’t even have good items in it. Placing waaay too many manual map-markers because you can never find your destination otherwise.

Slytherin: 

Spending too much time on side-quests instead of working on the main objective. Accidentally walking into a ridiculously difficult battle when you’re only level 2. Using long distance weapons to fights the enemies because you’re terrible in close combat. Forgetting what quest you were working on because you got distracted by a hunt for a random object. Actually using resistance potions/spells/e.t.c. Having conversations with companions and unlocking extra quests. Forgetting which buttons on your controller do what and having to spend a couple minutes to figure it out.

Gryffindor:

Forgetting to save and having go way back to the beginning of the quest when you die. Screaming out loud whenever something scary happens. Getting lost in a location that you’ve been to 50+times. Sneaking? What is that? You run straight into the open and hope you won’t die. Not understanding what the different stats for your weapons mean and picking the one that looks the coolest. Always forgetting that you have helpful items and never using them when you need them.