slowly sinking wasting

The Sweetest- *Quarterback!Theo*

Okay. @stydiajeep or something like that requested this a LOOONG time ago. (apologises if I tagged you for nothing) I haven’t forgotten and this pic inspired me. And an anon requested something about a glutton boyfriend. Let’s hope this tied together as well as I hoped. Here it goes, I love you so much. Thanks for the request.

Also- thanks to @wiccanthrope for helping to provide the proper circumstances for me to remember I had this request floating around.

Warnings: It’s long af. Food porn. Real porn. I may have inherited @lilshitwayne‘s clean fetish so we’ll see. Phew- let’s get into it.

You stood on the sidelines waving your pom poms and cheering loudly as your boyfriend, Theo had scored a touchdown, winning Beacon Hills the championship. He looked over and shot you a wink as his teammates all flocked him, it’d be impossible to get to him now. Not while they were hoisting him onto their shoulders as he held the trophy. Thank God that they’d won, you thought.

Keep reading

Imagine saving him from Drowning.

Soo a little Fanfic where Reader(aka you) needds to give him CPR to safe his life!
Gifs and Characters belong to their rightful owners! The Onehsot stories are mine. ;3

Warnings!: Uh… almost drowning and fluff? xD

Connor Kennway 

(Y/N) didn’t really knew how it happened. Everything had gone so fast… One moment she was hunting with Connor in the Forest when suddenly Templars appeared. Unfortunately it were far to much for Connor to handle with only his Bow and the Hiddenblade. So he decided to run for it. A cliff unfortunately stopped their running. (Y/N) thought that this would be the end but Connor had other plans. With one swift motion he grapped the girl and pulled her close. “Take a deep breath.” He said to the confused girl before he jumped pressing her to his chest. He was beneath her taking all the impact on the water… And man did it hurt… even (Y/N) felt a pang of pain.
(Y/N) broke the surface of the water gasping for air. As she finally could breath again she looked around the shore and lake for a sign of the Assassin. “Connor?!” She screamed. Suddenly she started to panick. “Nonono!” With one final breath the girl dived down. That’s when she saw him. He slowly sank to the floor. With a few strong movenemts of her legs she was by his side. Not really thinking clear she did the first that came to her mind and grabbed his face. (Y/N) pulled his lips onto hers and breathed the oxygen into him. (Now that I write it down… It sounds disgusting..) Connors eyes shot upon, right as the girl pulled away. Not really having time to complain he grabbed her around the waist and dived upwards. Both of them gasped for air as they broke the surface. Connor then looked up seeing the Templars have given up on them. His eyes then shot back to the coughing girl. Both of them then swam to the shore and sat down exhausted. “You saved my life…” Connor mumbled as a blush now slowly made it’s way onto his cheeks. (Y/N) smiled at that. “No you saved me first… and I returned the favor.” Connor smiled at that and hesitantly placed a hand on her cheek. She placed her cold hand on his. As he slowly leaned in wanting another kiss the girl suddenly turned her head away. Feeling rejected for a moment he wanted to apologize but as suddenly heard her sneezing he understood. “We better get home and dry ourselves.” Connor suggested. (Y/N) nodded her head in agreement.

11th Doctor 

Originally posted by aquamarinecara

As always an adventure with the Doctor promised to be adventures. But when he said he wanted to go on a Planet where there was only Water and Beaches you hadn’t expected to now land on a Ship with freaking Pirates! “Oh did I forget to mention there are Pirates?” He asked in his always casual manner earning a deadly glare from her. Now this Pirates were the smallest problem… it seemed the doctor had also forgotten to tell (Y/N) about the freking Sea Monsters! So as they sat on the ship tied up and (Y/N) thought it couldn’t come any worse, this damn Lochness like thing appeared and ripped the Damn ship apart! Luckyly that loosened the Knots that held the Doctor and you. With that the two of you could dive into the water and disappear into the Waves, as the Monster was busy enjoying his little Pirate-Snack. (I… I don’t know just.. just keep reading!! >.>) Luckyly for you two there was an Island nearby. Unluckily for (Y/N).. a giant wave crashed onto the two of you. (Y/N) came up afterwards again but there was no sign of the Doctor. (Y/N) dived down when she saw him slowly siking away farther and farther. Luckyly she was a fast swimer and with the fear of losig the Doc and the adrenalin bumping through her she could lift them both up towards she surface. And yet again.. Luckyly there was an Island nearby. Even though (Y/N) could have sworn she didn’t see it before, it didn’t matter right now. Groaning the pettit girl somehow maneged to pull the Doctor to the shore and out of the water. She instantly held her head to his chest and to her relive she could hear the Hearts beat..? She then held her ear close to his nose. He almost didn’t breath anymore. “Doctor! Doctor! Wake up!” He didn’t move and the girl started to panick. “okay calm down.. What did you learn about CPR.. Oh Yes!” (Y/N) started to press down into his chest counting to 10. She then dipped down and held his nose closed as she placed her mouth on his. She did this a few more times, as the Doctor suddenly shot upwards coughing the Water out. His eyes then looked over at the girl beside him. (Y/N) didn’t even notice but she had started crying. She waited for a sly or funny answer from Doc but was surprised as he pulled her into a hug. The Doctor was petting her head softly. (Y/N) finally seemed to come back to her senses and clinged to the Doctor sniffing. Unexpected for both of them he softly kissed her temple. They just sat there like that for what seemed forever, both happy to have survived this horrible Day. 


(Y/N) saved his ass after he was being followed by Orcs near her Village.
(Y/N) decided to invited him in so he could rest and eat something. And somehow during that stay, Legolas convinced her to come with him. The girls poor mother almost had a heart attack hearing the news but.. who was she to deny her daughter an adventrour with a Handsome Elfen Prince.
It was like any other day… Crwaling in holes to find a hidden cave and then run for your lifes because the owner of the Cave didn’t seem to like visitors… yet again. “You know that there is a damn Canyon ahead of us?!” (Y/N) shouted at Legolas as they ran. “Yeah but there’s also a Waterfall! That means there must be a lake down therë!” Her eyes widened at that. “You don’t know that!! I won’t Jum- FU**ING HELL NOOOOO!” She couldn’t finish her sentence because Legolas pulled her close to him and Jumped. The (H/C) held onto the Elf for dear life as she screamed. But it was cut short as they came into contact with water. (Y/N) closed her mouth but she still could feel a bit of water flow into her mouth and lungs. Suddenly she felt as if she was floating and that’s when she noticed she was deep in the lake. Horrified she opened her eyes to see Legolas infront of her his eyes closed. (Y/N) felt her lungs burn the need of oxygen getting stronger. She held Legolas close to her and pushed herself from the ground. Luckyly it wasn’t that deep, so she broke through the Water fast. Loud gasps echoed around the Walls as she finally could breath again. Swiming over to a small platform she climbed up and pulled the Elfen Prince after her. “Come on sleeping Beauty… wake up.” She said poking his cheek. He didn’t move. She groaned at that. ‘Of course he had swallowed to much water…’ She tought. (Y/N) gently pressed his nose close and placed her lips on his. A sudden hand shot up to her neck and held her down. She then felt soft lips KISSING her?! Letting out a squeak she jumped up sending him a glare. “You damn Elf were awake the whole time?!” He laughed at that sitting up. “Yeah pretty much since you poked me.”
“What the hell?!” Legolas rubbed his sore cheek. “Was that reall nec-!” But then he was cut of by her kissing him yet again. He looked at her Confused. “The first one was for scaring me Idiot! And.. well the second one is pretty clear why..”


Originally posted by beatrisablr

After the Company finally could flee from Thranduil in the Barrels evryone was just utterly relived. But well.. As always that would’ve been to easy… right? The water suddenly got wilder again thowing all of them around in their barrels. Luckily it stopped as fast as it came and the Company and (Y/N) climbed out of the water onto safe land. Everything seemed fine until.. “Fili!!” The girls eyes shot up at that and she looked around confused. (Y/N) then noticed.. Fili was not there. She shot up looking around, when her eyes saw something shimering in the water. Not even thinking one second longer than necessary, she dived into the water. And she was right it was Fili who was slowly sinking down. Not wasting time she dived down deeper and grabbed the Dwarf Prince pulling him up to the shore. The others helped (Y/N) pulling him out of the water and she climbed herself out shortly after. The Company gathered around him. “He’s not breathing! Balin do something!” But before he could even react (Y/N) pushed them to the side and kneeled down beside Fili. If it was any normal situation she’d blush and turn into a stuttering mess by even thinking about Fili. But right now.. all she wanted to do was save him. The human girl dipped her head down and placed her lips on his, while holding his nose closed. Then she got up and pressed down into his chest. She did this a few more times, until Fili finally started to cough. He saw all the worried and relived expressions around him. “Stop looking at me like I just died…” Fili said making a few of the Company groan and the others laugh. He then looked over at (Y/N) smiling. “I would’ve prefered our first kiss to be a little different and more private.. but you literally gave me the Kiss of life.” It took a few seconds till the words sank in but then a bright red blush appeared on her cheeks turning her into a stuttering mess. Fili chuckled at her cute behavor. Kili still stood beside them grinning. “I ship it.”

Commodore James Norrington

Originally posted by creepyspooker

Everyone knew the fairytails of Mermaids. How these beautiful Creatures could steal your mind with only their appereance. But unfortunately they were also said to be deadly and dangerous. So James somehow was glad he hadn’t met one till now. Well he thought he didn’t but (Y/N), one of his close friends and company on many Adventours, was indeed a Mermaid. Of course she never told him. But it seemed that today was the day he’d find out. It was just a norma Mission. Go to the neighbour Island and bring food. But mother natuer seemed to have other plans as a giant Thunder Storm met them. The ship was doing prefectly fine but the waves that crashed on board took everyone and everything with them. (Y/N) of course was hiding inside. James wanted her save but she of course couldn’t touch water or well.. yeah it’d get pretty fishy. But a sudden voice made her forget all that. “Captain over Board!!!” Screamed one of the man who were still up there. Not even caring who would see or what would happen, (Y/N) ripped of her cloak and ran outside into the rain. She ran past the shouting men and dived into the water. It was funny… the deeper down she got.. the calmer it became and the thunder up there died down more and more. Her beautiful (F/C) fishtail, shimmered in the flashing lights from up above. As she looked around she finally noticed him. James was floating in the water. With a few strong movements she was by his side in an instand. Without hesitation she placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His eyes suddenly shot open as he recognized the face infront of him. (Y/N) gently smiled at him. He should’ve been afraid.. that’s what he told himself. But he didn’t care… he trusted her. James then pulled her in for another kiss as (Y/N) started to dive up towards the surface.

The A-Team

White lips, pale face / Les lèvres blanche, la visage pâle
Breathing in snowflakes / Respirant les flocons de neige
Burnt lungs, sour taste / Les poumons brûlé, le goût aigre
Light’s gone, day’s end / La lumière est parti, Le jour a fini
Struggling to pay rent / Luttant à payer le loyer
Long nights, strange men / Les nuits longues, les hommes étrange

And they say / Et ils disent
She’s in the Class A Team / Elle est dans l’équipe de la classe A 
Stuck in her daydream / Coincé dans sa rêverie
Been this way since eighteen /  été comme  Ça depuis elle a dix-huit ans
But lately her face seems / Mais récemment sa visage semble
Slowly sinking, wasting /  être coulant lentement, gaspillant
Crumbling like pastries / êmiettant comme les pastries
And they scream / et ils crient
The worst things in life come free to us / Les plus pires choses dans la vie viennent à nous gratuit

Cause we’re just under the upper hand / Parce que nous n’avons pas de l’advantage
And go mad for a couple grams / et devenons les foux pour quelques grammes
And she don’t want to go outside tonight / et elle ne veut pas aller dehors ce soir
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland / et dans une pipe elle vole à la patrie
Or sells love to another man / ou vend d’amour à un autre homme
It’s too cold outside / c’est trop froid dehors
For angels to fly / pour les anges à voler
Angels to fly / Les anges à voler

Ripped gloves, raincoat / Les gants déchiré, l’imperméable
Tried to swim and stay afloat / essaie à nager et reste à flot  
Dry house, wet clothes / La maison sèche, Les vêtements mouillés  
Loose change, bank notes / La petite monnaie, les billets de banque
Weary-eyed, dry throat / Les yeux fatigués, la gourge sèche
Call girl, no phone / Une call girl, sans téléphone


An angel will die / Une ange vais mourir
Covered in white / couvert dans blanc
Closed eye / les yeux firmé
And hoping for a better life / et en espérant pour une vie meilleure
This time, we’ll fade out tonight / Cette fois, on disparaîtra  ce soir
Straight down the line / tout droit sur la linge


It’s too cold outside / c’est trop froid dehors
For angels to fly / pour les anges à voler
Angels to fly / Les anges à voler
To fly, fly / Voler, voler
For angels to fly, to fly, to fly / pour les ange à voler, voler, voler
For angels to die / pour les ange à mourir

I Made A Playlist For All The Types: Introverts Edition
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>INFJ:</b> For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Ivar (indie folk)<p/><b>Ni:</b> Poet by Bastille (alternative)<p/><b>“I can’t say the words out loud, so in rhyme I wrote you down;</b> now you’ll live through the ages, I can feel your pulse in the pages”<p/><b>Fe:</b> Mess is Mine by Vance Joy (singer- songwriter)<p/><b>“Talkin’ in your sleep, out of time;</b> well you still make sense to me, your mess is mine"<p/><b>Ti:</b> Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee by Buffy Sainte-Marie (60s folk rock)<p/><b>“Don’t stand between the reservation and the corporate bank, they’ll send in federal tanks;</b> it isn’t nice but it’s reality”<p/><b>Se:</b> 21st Century Schizoid Man by King Crimson (70s jazz-rock fusion)<p/><b>“Death’s seed, blind man’s greed, poets starving children bleed;</b> nothing he’s got he really needs”<p/><b>INFP:</b> Pure Heroin by Lorde (alt pop)<p/><b>Fi:</b> Your Secrets by Belle and Sebastian (indie pop)<p/><b>“I just had somebody tell me I was introspective to a fault;</b> I’ll be a chooser, if I can”<p/><b>Ne:</b> Say My Name by Odezsa feat. Zyra (electronic)<p/><b></b> “I’ve overthought everything I can think of into symbol”<p/><b>Si:</b> Paris Nights/New York Mornings by Corinne Baily Rae (singer-songwriter/blues)<p/><b></b> “Kiss me in the rain by the Rue Voltaire, it's a perfectly good way to ruin those silk shoes”<p/><b>Te:</b> Call It What You Want by Foster The People (indie rock)<p/><b></b> “We got nothin’ to prove, your social guides give you swollen eyes but what I got can’t be bought so you can just call it what you want”<p/><b>INTJ:</b> 2.0 by Big Data (electronica)<p/><b>Ni:</b> Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin (70s classic metal)<p/><b></b> “Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on”<p/><b>Te:</b> The Veldt by Deadmou5 (house)<p/><b>"Happy life with the machines scattered around the room;</b> look what they made, they made it for me...happy technology"<p/><b>Fi:</b> #Addicted by Riverside (jazz-rock fusion)<p/><b></b> “So hash tag me and go, 'cause I'm addicted to your love; I'm afraid you're the only friend I've got”<p/><b>Se:</b> We Don’t Need No Education by Pink Floyd (70s psychedelic rock)<p/><b>“We don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control;</b> no dark sarcasm in the classroom”<p/><b>INTP:</b> Dream Your Life Away by Kaskade (house)<p/><b>Ti:</b> Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd (70s psychedelic rock)<p/><b>“Relax, I need some information first, just the basic facts;</b> can you show me where it hurts?”<p/><b>Ne:</b> Phantom Power by Diagrams (indie)<p/><b>“Reality, such a strange geometry;</b> and like an origami lamb I am unfolding for the hordes”<p/><b>Si:</b> The A Team by Ed Sheeran (singer-songwriter/pop)<p/><b></b> “But lately her face seems slowly sinking, wasting, crumbling like pastries and they scream the worst things in life come free to us”<p/><b>Fe:</b> Hey There Delilah by Plain White T’s (pop ballad)<p/><b></b> “Our friends will all make fun of us but we’ll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way”<p/><b>ISFJ:</b> The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan by Bob Dylan<p/><b>Si:</b> Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men (indie pop)<p/><b>“There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back;</b> well tell her that I miss our little talks, ‘cause soon it will be over and buried with our past”<p/><b>Fe:</b> Budapest by George Ezra (singer-songwriter)<p/><b>“My friends and family they don’t understand, say that I’ll lose so much if you take my hand;</b> all for you”<p/><b>Ti:</b> Glory and Gore by Lorde (alt pop)<p/><b>“Lying in my bed words in my head;</b> secretly you love this, do you even want to go free? You let me in the ring, I’ll show you what that big word means”<p/><b>Ne:</b> Blackbird by The Beatles (60s classic rock)<p/><b>“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see;</b> all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free”<p/><b>ISFP:</b> Young the Giant by Young the Giant (indie rock)<p/><b>Fi:</b> Am I Wrong by Nico & Vinz (singer-songwriter)<p/><b>“I ain’t tryna do what everybody else doin’, just 'cause everybody doin’ what they are doin’;</b> if one thing I know, I fall where I grow, I’m walkin’ down this road of mine, this road that I go home”<p/><b>Se:</b> Moonlight Ride by For The Foxes (alt rock)<p/><b>“Just like these city lights, your lips in the sun;</b> we should run like rivers or children should run, and drive”<p/><b>Ni:</b> Skinny Love by Bon Ivar (indie folk)<p/><b>“Come on skinny love, what happened here? Pour a little salt, we were never here;</b> staring at this sink of blood and crushed veneer”<p/><b>Te:</b> In One Ear by Cage The Elephant (alt rock)<p/><b>“So all the critics who despise us, go ahead and criticize us, it’s your tyranny today drives us;</b> adds the fire to our flames”<p/><b>ISTJ:</b> Thinking In Textures by Chet Faker(electronica)<p/><b>Si:</b> Crossroad Blues by Robert Johnson (delta blues)<p/><b>“I went down to the crossroads, tried to flag a ride;</b> nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by”<p/><b>Te:</b> Pressure and Time by Rival Sons (rock)<p/><b>“Down to work for the money to earn my keep;</b> hunger’s got a way to tame a man’s pride”<p/><b>Fi:</b> Telescope by Cage the Elephant (alt rock)<p/><b></b> “In the sea, in the street, let me go, let me be, I don’t need to be here, I’m alone, can’t you see?”<p/><b>Ne:</b> St. Walker by Young the Giant (indie rock)<p/><b>“Because I want water where it’s found, but you know;</b> where there is water you’ll drown, drown in it”<p/><b>ISTP:</b> Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys (indie? rock)<p/><b>Ti:</b> Renegades by X Ambassadors (rock)<p/><b>“It’s our time to make a move, it’s our time to make amends, it’s our time to break the rules;</b> let’s begin”<p/><b>Se:</b> Come With Me Now by Kongos (alt rock)<p/><b>“I was born without this fear, now only this seems clear;</b> I need to move, I need to fight, I need to lose myself tonight”<p/><b>Ni:</b> Sober by Childish Gambino (rap?)<p/><b></b> “If you just give it a chance, loving you was not my plan, and I know one day you’ll see all the things that we could be”<p/><b>Fe:</b> Thin Line by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (rap)<p/><b>“Too tired to apologize on this mattress;</b> emotional detachment – what’s the matter? She’s learning that she never should have dated a rapper”<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

“The A Team”

White lips, pale face Breathing in snowflakes Burnt lungs, sour taste Light’s gone, day’s end Struggling to pay rent Long nights, strange men

And they say She’s in the Class A Team Stuck in her daydream Been this way since eighteen But lately her face seems Slowly sinking, wasting Crumbling like pastries And they scream The worst things in life come free to us ‘Cause we’re just under the upper hand And go mad for a couple grams And she don’t want to go outside tonight And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland Or sells love to another man It’s too cold outside For angels to fly Angels to fly

Ripped gloves, raincoat Tried to swim and stay afloat Dry house, wet clothes Loose change, bank notes Weary-eyed, dry throat Call girl, no phone

- Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran
  • Normal people: crying cause I really miss you.
  • Ed Sheeran: I don't get waves of missing you anymore, they're more like tsunami tides in my eyes
  • Normal people: you're making me blush!
  • Ed Sheeran: tell her that she turns my cheeks the color of my hair
  • Normal people: we're spooning
  • Ed Sheeran: we're resembling cutlery
  • Normal people: my life is falling apart
  • Ed Sheeran: her face seems slowly sinking, wasting, crumbling like pastries
  • Normal people: marry me?
  • Ed Sheeran: see, I could do without a tan on my left hand where my fourth finger meets my knuckle
it's too cold for angels to fly

[you never really intended to get this close, but laura seems to take away every bit of self control you ever possessed. maybe veering into her light isn’t so bad, after all. laura/carmilla] 


she’s been this way since eighteen / but lately her face seems / slowly sinking, wasting / crumbling like pastries
-ed sheeran, the a team


You see her first as a glimmer of gold: she’s bright, brighter than the sun, and for the first time, you think going blind might be more beautiful. All things considered, she’s got too much of you, she’s pulling you in. You think maybe if you could hurt her once, just once, you’d stop wanting her so much.

But when you do, you can only hear her muffled heartbeat and your mouth is coppery for days, you’re swallowing metal and choking— God, it sears against your throat. You’re drowning in the oceans of rich dark hazel, of blown pupils, of shimmering brown hair spun like gossamer.

You shouldn’t be drowning; you swore not to get close.
You’ve been colored in like a child’s book, messy and scrawled: purple, black, blue. Mottled shades that dapple up and down your thin wrists, snow and cold. Her skin burns when it touches yours, her fingers are blessed warmth that touch you when they meet your hands. She doesn’t cherish you like diamonds, and you can sense her heart beating with a gentleness that calls to you. Even the wolf in the sheep’s skin enjoys comfort, sometimes.

She frowns a lot, you’ve noticed. It’s creased, like old lines. You’d like to read them, to touch her lips and know her and share your stories together, pressed closer, whispering. She’s so beautiful, and you’re just a broken, tired person with too many years grained under your fingernails, like dirt.

Sometimes, you speak of a place you’ve only dreamed yet: you whisper it to yourself, a place where she loves you, too.

Your hair is limp and dry: you wonder if that means something still.

When she touches you, you shiver, but you aren’t cold.

She spins in the center of the room, her hand is laced with yours, and your skin is tingling all over. Her eyes are so bright, and her hair is fanning out like angel’s haloes. You’re turning to a beat, a song only you two can hear, a heartbeat in your ears.

You can taste it on your tongue, sweet and real and tangible. The emotion is palpable in her eyes, too. 

I love you, I do, I do, pounds your heart, and you rain your nails up and down your arms; you know then you’re tangled.

One day, she looks at you, and her eyes are not soft. They’re wolf’s eyes, sharp and cold and clever, and it’s not Laura’s heart. It’s Mother’s, and it’s still beating, and it’s seething with volatile rage— pounding with anger for her diamond girl.

Mother laughs and strokes your hair. A crash, a bang. You’re going to love her, too, she growls, and you flinch and close your eyes, and the I know goes unvoiced.

And, well, you’re trapped now, and you think hope is maybe just too much to ask for, because you have none left. Laura doesn’t seem to know that your eyes are dull as river stones, black marbles, and your hands are shaking: you cannot meet her eyes because you’d see the light there and then you’d go and mess everything up.

She’ll hate you for it, but you can keep her, and every day you’re swallowing thorns, and every day feels just a little bit closer to the dangerous edge, a brink.

Then: she finds out.

You’re unprepared, really, for the hatred swimming in her eyes— no, not hatred, betrayal, and hurt— and it feels like Mother dipped her hands into your chest and twisted whatever she found there as hard as she could. There’s just brown, brown, brown, and you’re bleeding, but you aren’t alive, and you can taste the metal, you’ve tasted it so long, and it feels like choking.

You run; it’s all you can do.

Your feet take you to the edge of a cliff, miles and miles, until your skin is chafed and raw and bruised. You look down dully and remember the same familiar colors, as like as your own skin, purple, black. blue. You ache all over but it’s nothing to the storm whirling within your veins, and you laugh bitterly as you see it mirrored back in the screaming sea and the white, white foam lashing the cliffs.
And then, you remember the first time you jumped from a building, you remember the blood pooling around you. You remember the copper, the red, and the white bones and the broken skin, and you flinch. 

And then, you dive.

The air is screeching in your ears, and you think, oh, so this is pain, this is remembering, right before water is exploding all around you, and darkness swallows you whole.

Ice pierces your marrow in ragged shards and thick smoky blackness clouds out around you and you’re sinking, sinking, sinking. You feel the old sadness bubbling up, and you remember the pitch black and the metal of Ell’s blood and old crumbling wood, and panic comes with the remembrance.

Your feet touch the ocean floor and you turn your gaze upward, water blotting your vision and filling your nose. The moon is the faintest silver gleam, and you breathe out air that spirals up, a farewell and a greeting on your lips— two places in your heart you’ve lost, and found, again.

You see when your eyes turn toward the slime encrusted cliff face a sliver of light. It’s sharp. It’s a breathy gold glimmering and you remember suddenly Laura’s gold, and that spurs you to kick out and tread thick darkness to where it shines, a single star of saffron, imprinting itself against your eyes.

It’s so fucking cold and ice burns under your skin. 

Your hands are searing through with fire as you touch it and it feels like glue is clogging your veins, and you brace your feet and clench your jaw and pull—
It explodes out and rock shatters everywhere, drawing blood that almost lazily spins out, crimson, into the water. Your hands wrap around the cold hilt, so cold it’s hot— overloading your nerves, you swallow back a scream and kick upward hard and the water pushes you up. 

You’re breaking the surface, then, gasping in great gulps of the fresh air, and stars are whirling overhead and you remember Mother’s hands and her eyes, and the stars seem so cold and distant all of a sudden. Wind is screeching across the swells and falls of the surface, howling into your ears like wolves. You turn your eyes to the moon instead, breaking the wind shredded clouds, washing the ocean’s surface in silver.

A wave thrashes you to the edge of the cliff and you make it to the edge, tucking the sword into one quavering hand, wind breathing cold over your collarbone and through your hair, over the ice streaming down your clothes in rivulets. Laura, Laura, Laura, pounds your heart, and you feel warmth billow into your veins despite ice sheening over your skin.

Your hands are streaming blood by the time you’ve scrabbled to the top of the cliff: the skin reseals itself as you stagger to the bluff overlooking a vast moor, foggy and lonely. The sword is paralleled, all light is inhaled by sharp breaths and fire is soaring in your head and pain settles like a stone into your stomach.

And as the moon rises over a new night, you breathe in the night air, and it doesn’t taste of dying anymore.

It tastes of gold, and another warmth you cannot name yet.