asdhlgdgakj i didnt even hit 1k yet im one away but who cares not me. SH00KITY SH00K THANK FOR THE FOLLOWS IDC THIS ISNT A GOOD TY NOTE BUT I JUST,,,,,,,,,, HOW. ILY EVERYONE AND YAYAYYYAYA. @ravenclw drunk viv makes a return
probs won award for the world’s most basic banner tbh and its a big milestone rip whateva im in a good mood for the first time in forever i wont dwell on it
Little preview for my next Medieval/Fantasy Arms and Armour Guidelines:
Full plate armour was not as heavy as it is made out to be in fiction, especially in literary fiction.
As someone from the UK, specifically Wales, I watched many reenactments in the castles that formed Edward I’s (or Edward Longshanks’) ring of steel around Wales and I learnt one major thing: knights and men-at-arms in full plate armour did not become a slow slug of warrior who could easily have rings run around him by a lightly armoured fighter.
In the 15th century, when full plate armour was becoming more widespread and also more durable, a suit of ‘white plate’ (referencing how, when correctly polished, would shine as bright as the sun) weight somewhere between 20 to 23 kilograms (45 to 55 lbs) in weight, adding in the helmet that weight usually between 2 to 4 kilos (4 to 8 lbs), meant a total weight of 22 to 27 kilograms, or 49 to 63 lbs. This is comparable to the same weight of equipment carried by a modern firefighter or professional soldier.
HOWEVER, the knight’s armour had one advantage over the modern comparisons: the weight of the armour was distributed evenly or as evenly as possible over the entire body.
A knight could run, vault, roll and climb as easily as a man without armour. In fact, one French knight by the name of Jean de Maingre was known to be able to climb up the underside of a ladder without any assistance. That’s basically a knight, head to toe in armour, using the monkey bars at a playground.
I’ve had this idea for a while now, and when I saw the prompt I thought I could do it for this.
With each step Mika took, pain flew up his leg, crippling his ability to walk, much less run. A burning, painful heat swept through his body, almost making him black out. His breathing was labored, and his vision was blurring around the edges. The sounds of moaning and growls echoed in his ears, the shuffling footsteps of the dead surrounding his senses. The only thing keeping him tied down to earth was the strong grip Yuu had around his waist, almost dragging him across the ground. His arm was draped over Yuu’s shoulder, where he clutched to the other boy’s shirt as if his life depended on it- which it did.
They had left the protection of the camp’s walls to look for more food and supplies, getting news that there was a section of the city that hadn’t been searched yet. They had expected medical equipment, food packages, and other daily-life appliances. What they got was a sea of Walkers, baring their teeth and stretching out their rotting fingers.
Mika had leaped from the roof. Talk about idiocy. Yuu had scolded him the entire time they were running (well, Yuu was running- Mika was just hobbling along) which was rather ironic- usually, it was Mika doing the scolding.
They had been quite careless in their escape. The Walkers were as slow as slugs, surely they could make it back to their camp before they were in any real danger. Right?
A moan sounded by Mika’s ear, and he twisted around, raising his right hand, which clutched their last gun. They had run out of bullets with their other ones. Pulling the trigger, the Walker’s head exploded, and he turned back around, trying to go as fast as he could. They were closing in, and Yuu was muttering curses under his breath.
“Damn it,” he hissed. “Damn it, damn it, damn it!”
The camp’s walls were just now coming into view. From this distance, Mika was able to see the gate being opened, their friends crowding around the entrance. They lifted their guns, shooting at stray Walkers. It was the only thing they were able to do. Shinoa frantically waved at them, panic clear on her delicate features.
Tears formed at the corner’s of Mika’s eyes. They weren’t going to make it. It was obvious. If Mika hadn’t wounded his leg, they could’ve gotten to safety easily. If Yuu was alone, he would already be inside the gate. Mika was slowing them down, and they both knew it.
“Yuu,” he choked out, holding back a cry of pain as he put weight on his injured leg. A Walker wailed somewhere near his right, but a gunshot from Yoichi silenced it. “You have to leave me.”
Yuu gritted his teeth, refusing to look at the blonde. “Shut up!” he growled, lurching forward. He pushed them out of the way of flailing arms, kicking the Walker away before heading forwards again. Their path to the gate was getting more and more crowded, and Mitsuba yelled in anger as she ran out of bullets. Their friends were doing all they could to help, but it wasn’t enough.
Mika gasped as another bolt of pain shot up his leg. Tears completely blurred his vision, and he hastily blinked them away. “No, you- you have to listen to me!” He shot a nearby Walker coming at Yuu’s left. “I’m slowing us down! Please!”
“Mika, I said shut up!” Yuu grabbed Mika’s left arm, the one around his neck, and tugged him closer to his body. “No way in hell am I leaving you!”
“Yuu-chan…” Mika whispered, voice cracking. Fingertips brushed against his back, and he almost jumped out of his skin. He whipped his arm around, smashing the side of the gun into the Walker’s head. The thing fell to the ground, and it didn’t get up.
“If you die,” Yuu continued, his own tears glazing over his emerald green eyes, “I’ll-” he choked, pushing forwards. “I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You’ll live,” Mika cried just as his leg gave out, and they stumbled a bit, a string of curse words spilling from Yuu’s lips. Mika’s heart froze.
‘I’m going to die here… Will I ever feel those lips again?’
The thought brought a fresh wave of tears, and when a Walker came towards them Mika almost didn’t have the strength to shoot it. Knowing that Yuu’s life was in danger as well was enough for Mika to raise his gun, the bullets ripping into the thing, tearing it apart.
“You call this living?” Yuu hissed, dragging Mika with him. They were almost to the gate, but the crowd of Walkers was closing in. It was enough to quench all hope. “Mika, I’ll be deader than dead without you!”
Mika was sobbing, gripping Yuu tight, knowing it’ll be the last time he’ll ever feel his warmth. His heart pounded in his chest, and he watched the tunnel to the gate as if it was a movie and he was sitting in the theater, at the edge of his seat, popcorn falling from his mouth.
’They’re the heroes! The survivors! They’ve come all this way- they can’t die now!’
Life is never like the movies.
The voices of their friends could be heard. Shouts, hoots… laughter? They were… encouraging? Mika blinked at the ground, then looked up.
They were almost to the gate. Almost. So very close. Just one final stretch, then they’ll finally be safe. Mitsuba was grinning, gunning down the Walkers with her second round. Yoichi wore a tense smirk, carefully aiming at the Walkers nearest Mika and Yuu, shooting them down as easily as flies. Kimizuki was clearing the path in front of them, his own expression of victory clear on his face. He was poised and ready to slam the gate closed the second they crossed over it. Shinoa’s smile widened, and as she shot at Walkers with one hand, she held her other out, waiting to grab them and yank them through the gate.
Mika stared at Shinoa’s happy expression, hope flickering in his soul. He gripped Yuu tighter, allowing his lips to match hers in a smile.
They… were going to make it!
Suddenly, Shinoa stiffened, her eyes widening. Horror spread across her face, and her mouth opened in a scream.
Yuu didn’t look, but Mika did. He whipped around, stomach clenching at the sight of a Walker lurching forward, stretching its arms out. He gritted his teeth, lifting his gun to shoot.
It was empty.
Mika’s eyes widened, and the gun slipped from his fingers, smacking into the ground. The Walker stepped right over it. Yoichi cried out, unable to get the Walker without accidentally getting Yuu or Mika instead. Kimizuki shouted out panicked advice, but it went unheard. Mitsuba yelled a curse.
Sound muted. Mika watched in slow motion as the Walker opened its mouth, aiming straight for Yuu’s neck. The image blurred. Mika turned back around, counting under his breath. He sent their friends a silent apology. He sent Yuu an apology. Yuu-chan.
His heel dug into the ground, and he shoved his shoulder into Yuu’s side, pushing them sideways. Yuu’s eyes popped, and his mouth opened in a shout of surprise. Mika squeezed his eyes shut, his tears flying from his cheeks. His hair was stuck to his skin, his sweat dripping down his temple.
Mika released a breath, and the Walker bit into him, right where the shoulder and the neck met.
Everything was tinged with red. Burning hot pain filled every cell in his body, and he opened his mouth, his scream mixing with the wails of the Walkers. Shinoa’s scream joined his, the sound bouncing around in his ears. Voices flashed in and out of his senses, and his breathing soon drowned out everything else. His heartbeat was quick and light, filled with panic and pain. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t see. All he could feel was the burning pain, sending him falling into an abyss.
Another scream joined the commotion, this one filled with absolute fury. In the next second, the hot warmth on his neck was ripped free, leaving behind a throbbing hurt. Something trickled over his collarbone, but Mika didn’t bother opening his eyes. It was all over, anyways. He was already dead.
That one word kept being repeated over and over, dripping with hatred and heartache and pain. Mika felt himself being scooped up, his head knocking against someone’s chest. A hazy thought flickered into his mind: ’Why didn’t we do this before?’ Wait, because it would’ve been even more tiring. That’s right. For who, again…?
Mika’s eyelids fluttered. “Yuu-chan…”
“Damn it!” Yuu barreled through the remaining wall of Walkers, throwing himself over into the safety of the camp. Immediately, Kimizuki slammed the gate closed, latching it shut. The sounds of Walkers pounding on the other side was overpowering, but it faded into background noise.
Blood dripped from Mika’s neck, the Walker bite dark and glistening. His breathing was heavy, his cheeks pale, and he watched with glazed-over eyes as Yuu fell apart before him.
“No… No, you… you idiot…!” Yuu wailed, clutching Mika to his chest. His whole body shook, his tears spilling out and landing on Mika’s cheeks. He buried his face into Mika’s hair, letting loose a shower of sobs.
Shinoa took a few wobbly steps forward before landing on her knees in front of them, staring blankly at the ground. Mitsuba’s eyes widened, her body tensing, and she bit back the sounds as she started to cry. Yoichi whimpered, covering his mouth, and he stood over them, shoulders shaking. Kimizuki gritted his teeth, and he whipped around to slam his hands against the gate, the sound echoing.
“Y-Yuu-chan,” Mika whispered, raising a shaky hand. “Yuu-chan, I…”
If the bite had been on, say, his arm, they could have easily chopped the limb off. Sure, it would have been gruesome, and painful, but if Mika didn’t die from the shock, he could have moved on with his life, minus an arm. He could have had at least a chance at living.
Why was everything so cruel?
Yuu pulled away enough to press their foreheads together, tears still trickling down his cheeks. With their tears mixing together, Mika tasted salt on his tongue, and he was sure Yuu did, too.
“Mika,” Yuu whispered, his voice laced with pain. He cracked open his eyelids, and Mika’s breath froze in his chest. He had never seen someone look so distraught, so empty, so dead. His lip quivered, and he was gasping for air.
“St-stay the Yuu- the Yuu-chan I know,” he stammered, swallowing. His throat was dry and sticky. “Don’t- don’t be stupid, or- or reckless, and-” Yuu brought his hand up, framing Mika’s cheeks, brushing away his tears. “Stay- stay filled with- with life…”
Yuu pulled him in for a kiss, a kiss unlike any other he’s ever given him. Mika cried against him, and Yuu held him, and their hands clasped onto anything they could find. Mika held Yuu’s head as he started to cry again, and they pulled away to take gulps of air, the truth hitting them in waves.
Mika got bit. If he wasn’t killed, he would turn into a Walker in less than twenty-four hours. He would be a hollow, man-eating shell of his former self, with no memory of his past life or humanity.
Mika was going to die, no matter how you looked at it. And there was nothing anybody could do to stop it from happening.
“Oh my god,” Shinoa finally choked out. She bit down on her fist, squeezing her eyes shut. Mitsuba covered her face, and Kimizuki brought Yoichi in for a hug, squeezing him against his chest. The brunette was making muffled whimpers, his fingers digging into the back of Kimizuki’s jacket.
“I’m sorry, Yuu-chan,” Mika whispered, voice shaky. His rubbed Yuu’s cheek, wiping away new tears. He bit his quivering lip. “I’m… I’m scared.”
Yuu let out a sob, hunching his shoulders. “It’s- it’s going to be okay,” he gasped. “You’re- we’re fine, everything’s- everything’s fine…”
Mika squeezed his eyes shut. “I love-” he took a breath. “-love you, Yuu-”
Yuu didn’t allow him to finish. He pressed their lips together, their tears slipping into their mouths. He pulled away to whisper, “I love you, too, Mika,” then drowned the blonde in another deep kiss. Mika pulled him close, the sounds of their friends sobbing filling his ears, along with the wails of the Walkers and the heavy breaths of Yuu. He lost himself in his Yuu-chan’s kisses, the pain in his neck coursing through his body.
That night, a lone gunshot echoed throughout the camp.
See Thorin Run. Honestly, when Thorin calls Smaug a slow fat slug it’s the highlight of the trilogy for me. Maybe because I’m a natural-born taunter? I mean, it wasn’t the best taunt but considering it was Thorin who had delivered it? A+ for the effort!
I feel like Thorin doesn’t understand how to taunt someone properly and always ends up sliding into deathly insult territory when he tries. So he doesn’t often try. It’s easier and less offensive to be stoic.
I am proud of myself for drawing Smaug-ball. That is what I call him in my head. I’ve been doing Inktober over on my non-fandom blog and I was inspired to doodle this pic up with Staedtler pigment liners. I have sizes 0.1, 0.3, 0.5 and 0.7 and I tend to make use of all sizes when I do larger works. This one was mostly done with a 0.3 sized pen.
How do you catch dinner if you’re a slow-moving sea slug? You go after something that’s even slower! In this not-so-speedy skirmish, watch as a California sea slug captures a shaggy sea slug. Thanks to staffer Patrick Webster for the great video!
Tetsumi Kudo, ‘Cultivation by Radioactivity in the Electronic Circuit’, 1970
‘A lemony swampland of lacquered acrylic mucus and spongy lime colored growth. Circuitry diagrams are visible beneath the effluent, from which sprout small straight transistors, cylinder—topped like cattails. Picturesque in a fashion, the landscape is punctuated with outcroppings-not of rock, but of fat, discolored, plaster noses, their nostrils dark caves of black bristly fur. A nappy toy mouse is stuck in the muck, and a penis crawls through it, slow as the plumpest slug.’
Summary: Domestic human AU; Peridot likes to beat twelve-year-olds in CoD and Jasper just wants sleep.
Everything was still, quiet, and dark when Jasper threw her arm over the cold, empty space beside her. She grunted and woke from an otherwise sound sleep, annoyed by the lack of something warm where there should have been. She opened her eyes a little, squinting through the darkness and focusing on the red blur of their alarm clock until it came into focus; two-thirty am.
Peridot said she was coming to bed three hours ago.