slow jerks

Tease pt.2 (final)

Originally posted by nochuie

Summary: Your best friend had gotten a new job, but wouldn’t tell you what it was. You decide to take it upon yourself to find out, so you find the address to his work. But… why did the address lead you to a strip club?

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Smut (M)

Words: 2.6k

A/N: If you haven’t already, please read part one here . Anywho, this fic contains exhibitionism, public masturbation, extreme dirty talk, daddy kink, hj, etc. This is a sinful fic. You have been warned ;)

To say that you were embarrassed, was an understatement; you felt bloody humiliated. Why? This was because you came in here confidently thinking you’d find Jimin, and boast about how smart you were to find where he worked. But ohh how wrong you would be…

It was already uncomfortable sitting on this hard chair on stage. But what made it ten times worse was that your sweet best friend, was currently standing in front of you half naked, tempting you in view of a large crowd. Besides that, he held your hand in a vice grip above the band on his tight slacks.

“Unbutton my pants Y/N,” Jimin said just loud enough for you to hear, over the booming cheers of the crowd.

You couldn’t even look him in the eyes – his usually soft brown orbs were now intimidatingly seductive. You were awkwardly gawking at your hand in his, right above the button to his pants. How did this even happen again? You would’ve never have expected this to ever occur, not even in your dreams. But atlas, it was.

You took a big gulp before you stuttered, “W-what? I d-don’t think I should…”

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It’s probably one of the cheesiest things he’s ever heard but it doesn’t stop Yuuri from blushing head to toe as Victor whispers a love poem to him during one of their free afternoons.

They’re supposed to be watching TV, some sort of Russian telenovela that Yuuri can only understand because Victor keeps murmuring English translations in his ear, but somewhere along the part where the main actress has pushed someone down the stairs, the translations turned poetic and tender and Victor comes to a stop punctuated by a butterfly-soft kiss on his jaw.

Yuuri whirls around, wide-eyed and red-faced, slapping a hand over his ear.

“W-What was that?” He stammers, gesturing at…whatever Victor just did. The remote slips from his grip and Yuuri yelps, fumbles to catch it but it thuds dully against the carpeted floor and startles Makkachin who was sleeping at their feet.

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motel ‘97 - 04

➵ pairing: jungkook x reader  
➵ genre: mafia au, angst, fluff, smut.
➵ warning: violence, crude language, read at own risk.
➵ word count: 4K+

01, 02, 03, 04, 05,

          Numb. Numb was the only feeling I had. Physically and mentally. It wasn’t too long until the pain slowly faded into what seemed to be a thousand jittery motions until it was far gone. The chafing on my wrists and ankles were sure to leave red marks. The rough brittle rope cutting into my skin. My head hung low, facing the floor. Eyes closed. Not like I was able to open them either from bruising. Deep shades of blue and purple painted across my left eye. I could make out very dull light peering through my lashes that came from the dim lamp above. Red was the only color I could see. Just red. Nothing but red. What an awful color it has become.

Ignoring any and every stare he received, he continued down the halls. The sound of his bare feet hitting the concrete floor, following a pattern. He quickened my pace as he turned the corner and was met with the same long, dim, and eerie hallway Taehyung dragged you down hours before. He wasted no time, sprinting down the long hallway. He slowed his pace as he approached the door. Above it, spray paint of Taehyung’s name. The cold metal door was surely not inviting in the slightest bit. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he walked down the small set of stairs and he rested his hand against the door, the other on the knob. He wasn’t sure if he could do this.

What was he going to find beyond this door? Were you dead? Were you still alive? Did Taehyung take you somewhere else? He thought of a million different scenarios.. None of them ending well for not only you, but him as well. He took a deep breath before slowly pushing open the door, the small creak it left behind, startling him. He was on edge. It was a whole new atmosphere just within these 4 walls. The dark room. Dim lights. Blood covered walls and tiles. It felt so wrong. Sure, he wasn’t new to the concept. He had killed before. He had tortured before, but not like this. Not like this at all.

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Handjob While With the Guys- Taehyung and Jungkook

Part of Handjob while with the guys

Part I, Part II, Part III

Pretty self explanatory on the warning

Credit to gif owner


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Guardians of the Galaxy No. 2 - sentence starters

1. “I’m gonna make some weird shit.” 

2. “No offense, but your employees are a bunch of jerks.” 

3. “Slow down, drama queen. You might deserve this, but I don’t. We gotta get out of here.” 

4. “You’re smiling, and for a second I got a warm feeling, but then it was ruined by those disgusting-ass teeth.” 

5. “You like a professional asshole or what?” 

6. “Why didn’t you deliver _____ to _____ like you promised?” 

7. “Aww man, what’d they do to you?” 

8. “Tell me you guys have a refrigerator somewhere with a bunch of human toes? …Okay. Then let’s just agree to never discuss this.” 

9. “I didn’t mean to do a mutiny. They killed all my friends.” 

10. “You maniac. The whole ship’s gonna blow.” 

11. “You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can’t fool me. I know who you are.” 

12. “I know who you are, ______. Because you’re me.” 

13. “All any of you do is yell at each other. You are not friends.” 

14. “For the first time in my existence, I am truly not alone!” 

15. “You killed my _____!” 

16. “I told you something didn’t feel right.” 

17. “’I told you so’? Just what I need to hear right now.” 

18. “You said you were going to eat me!” 

19. “So we’re saving the galaxy again?” 

20. “We must hurry. It will not take ____ long to find us.” 

21. “The entire planet will explode. We’ll have to get out of here fast. I rigged a timer.” 

22. “You don’t have to believe in yourself, because I believe in you.” 

23. “I never thought s/he would be able to do it, with as weak and skinny as s/he appears to be.” 

24. “Now, whatever you do, don’t push this button.” 

25. “You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag. If anyone’s going to have tape, it’s you!” 

26. “This is gonna hurt.” 

27. “You look like Mary Poppins.” 

28. “I’m Mary Poppins, ya’ll!” 

29. “S/he’s just unconscious.” 

30. “I ain’t done nothin’ right my whole damn life, ____. You need to give me this.” 

31. “We’re gonna need to have a real discussion about your language.” 

32. “No. I’m not leaving without him/her.” 

33. “I’m sorry. I can only afford to lose one friend today.” 

34. “You are a god. If you kill me, you’ll be just like everybody else.” 

35. “What I’m trying to say here is, sometimes that thing you’re searching for your whole life, it’s right there by your side the whole time and you don’t even know it.” 

36. “_____ thinks you’re not a dancer.” 

37. “When are we going to do something about this unspoken thing between us?” 

38. “I win. I win, I bested you in combat.” 

39. “I should have told you earlier. I’m stupid! You are in danger.” 

40. “Doesn’t eternity get boring?” 

41. “We need to get off this planet.” 

42. “You’re leaving me with that ______?!” 

43. “It’ll be just a couple of days. We’ll be back before _____ is done fixing the ship.” 

44. “What is your goal here? To get everybody to hate you? Because it’s working.” 

45. “I’m finishing this so that we can listen to tunes while we work.” 

46. “_____, get out of the way! You’re gonna get hurt!” 

47. “No. No. Spit it out. Spit it out. C’mon. …Disgusting.” 

48. “The beast’s hide is too thick to be pierced on the outside. I must cut it open from the inside.” 

49. “Yes! I have single-handed vanquished the beast!” 

50. “Careful what you say around these folks, they’re easily offended. The cost of transgression is death.” 

51. “Sorry if it seemed like I was flirting with the high priest/priestess. I wasn’t.” 

52. “You just need to find a wo/man who is pathetic, like you.” 

53. “It’s not ripe.” 

54. “I will be free of these shackles soon enough, and then I will kill you. I swear it.” 

55. “You’re not killing anyone. All those ships are remotely piloted.” 

56. “To make it through that, you’d have to be the greatest pilot in the universe.” 

57. “Someone destroyed all our ships!” 

58. “LOOK AT THIS! Where’s the other half of our ship?”

59. “You know, you’d think an evil supervillain would learn how to properly lie.” 

60. “Seems like this establishment is the wrong kind of disreputable.” 

61. “If you think I take pleasure in exiling you, you’re wrong. You broke all our hearts.” 

62. “If s/he’s so soft, what are you whispering for?” 

63. “I thought _____ was your mother/father.” 

64. “Can I pet your puppy? It is adorable.” 

65. “If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.” 

66. “Whoa! Whoa! There must be some kind of peaceful resolution, _____. Or even a violent one where I’m standing over there.” 

67. “How did you get to this weird, dumb planet?” 

68. “When you’re ugly and someone loves you, you know that they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.” 

69. “Why are there no other beings on this planet?” 

70. “What were you about to say to _____ before I walked out?” 

71. “I will help them by killing _____.” 

72. “You will always be my _____.”

Krii7y - Room Mates

Prompt:  we’ve known each other for like 4 months but when you get cold things get pretty intimate and we’ll sleep together wanna be more than friends?

Requested By: Anonymous



Lucas blushed but slid beneath the covers casually, “Hey… I hope you don’t mind, it got cold…”

“I’m fine with it…” John sleepily responded, his brain barely functioning as he helped lift the covers for his friend to climb in.

He wrapped his arms around the shorter and younger male’s waist, pulling him flush against him. He heard a gasp from the other and shuffled closer, breathing deeply to try and sleep once more but the other struggled in his grasp. “J-John, you-!”

John stifled a grunt of irritation, “Go to sleep, Smit…”

The other let out a restless sigh and spun around, “At least take care of it first!”

“Take care of what?” John sleepily groaned, rubbing at his eyes with one hand in an attempt to clear that groggy feeling.

While Lucas ranted on about how it was annoyingly poking his inner thigh, John smirked and shuffled closer, pushing against him, “Oh? You mean my friend? He likes warmth, too, Ya know.”



Lucas nuzzled closer, his face felt on fire, “At least take care of it, bastard.”

“Why not, Ya know, help me out

Lucas grunted in response. John continued teasing, “I won’t watch, Smit, I promise…”

He glanced up at John and glared at him, “Fine. But this is gay as shit.”

John chuckled and laid on his back as the other straddled him. Lucas felt his face grow hotter as he reached down to pull at the hem of John’s boxers.

John did as he said and placed both arms over his eyes, though he was watching him really.

Lucas had no clue and went on, he wrapped his hand around the base and pulled it out.

He swallowed nervously and cautiously pulled his hand up experimentally.

He first heard John groan into his arms, he hadn’t expected the other to jerk his hips next.

Lucas blushed red and furrowed his brow, moving his hand up and down even more but creating a slow rhythm.

“You’ve jerked yourself off before, come on, Smit!”

Lucas chuckled, “It’s funny to watch you buck your god damn shit, dude.”

John groaned and jerked his hips again. Lucas smirked and picked up the pace, moving his thumb so it was straight up so it would travel over the tip and across the slit before coming back down and covering more of John’s member.

He leaned forward and grazed the tip with his lips, nervously slowing his pace as he blew cold air over the top. John shuddered and let out an annoyed grunt.

Lucas smirked and leaned forward, placing his lips gently over the top as he fastened his pace with his hand.

John glanced up from his arms and over at Lucas, watching the other bob their head a short distance and come back up to the tip before plunging back down a little and bringing himself back up.

At first, he was slow and sloppy but pretty soon he picked up the pace and angled his head a bit more so his lips would graze certain veins.

John bucked his hips a few more times, letting out little pants as the other continued bobbing his head at a faster pace.

Lucas inhaled deep through his nose and pushed further until he felt the tip grace the back of his throat. He cracked an eye open to glance at John.

John’s head was laid back on the pillows, his hands pushing and tugging on Lucas’ hair as he panted with his eyes squeezed shut.

Little mutters of, “Fuck yeah” or some exaggerated phrase left his lips whenever Lucas pushed back down.

Before he could push down again, thick ropes of warm liquid coated the inside of his mouth and his tongue. It was salty and Lucas grimaced at the taste and feeling of it.

He swallowed it nervously and hesitantly but rose up from John’s midsection, panting a little himself.

His gaze met with John’s, both were heated and lustful.

John pulled Lucas’ head towards his and locked lips. Pushing against his lips firmly and licking his bottom lip.

Lucas wasn’t getting any sleep on cold nights anymore. Who needs sleep anyway?


Aiden x Reader

Happy birthday Anon :P

“Will you stop or we’ll get in trouble.” You sighed when Aiden continued to mess around.


“Aw you worried about getting in trouble?” Aiden teased which had you scowling at him.


“No but I just can’t be late getting home today.” You sighed and tried to listen to Lydia’s Mom but Aiden continued to distract you until she strolled across the class room.


“Both of you, detention after school.” She sighed.


“But Mrs Martin!” You gasped.

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Imagine: Being a Metahuman, and Meeting Cisco

Cisco Ramon x Reader

You smiled lazily, as you stared out the car window at the night sky, nodding your head to the radio. Light humming caught your attention, making you turn your head towards the figure sitting in the driver’s seat. One of your co-workers, Ira (eye-rah), who was also a great friend of yours, banged her head dramatically to the beat of the song, humming louder as the chorus to the song came up. A light chuckle left your lips as you looked ahead, noticing that you were soon going to be on an extremely high overpass, with a bunch of other roads intersecting underneath. Past the sea of roads, laid Central City, which was lit up with bright lights, making it seem much bigger than it actually was.

Your stomach slightly dropped as you began to go up the overpass, as Ira slowly made the car started to accelerate, to keep ahead of the late night incoming traffic. Gazing curiously out the window, you watched as streams of cars passed on the road underneath you. Suddenly, a glowing bright light blinded you, the light lighting up the night sky so much, it almost looked as if it was day time.

“What the–Shit!” Ira yelled, as the car in front of the two of you came to sudden stop, making Ira swerve to the right, making the car slam into the guardrail.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion, you body jerking forward so hard, the seat belt on your chest ripped. Your body didn’t slow down, making you soar through the windshield, smashing through the glass. Suddenly, you were airborne, your body flying out of the car, and over the guardrail, before plummeting down to the road underneath the overpass you were supposed to be on. While still in mid-air, a searing hot gust of wind hit you from the side as a shock wave hit you, sending you further towards the right.

In a blink, the slow motion of the event was over, and you were soon speeding towards the road. Before you could take a breath, you reached the road. You mentally prepared yourself for an impact that never came. The feeling of being swallowed surrounded your whole body, as blackness consumed you.


Gasping for air, you shot up in bed, your hands reaching around your neck as the feeling of being suffocated slowly dwindled down. Panting, you glanced around your dirty room, resting your head in your hands as the memories from your past rose to the surface because of the terrible dream you had. It has been almost 2 years since the terrible car accident happened, which killed 8 people, including your friend Ira; While it has been only 11 months since you were able to free yourself from the thick pavement of the road you sank into.

It didn’t take long to find out what happened and why. Apparently some kind of explosion happened at some laboratory facility in the city, which not only cause the car crash you were involved in, but also took the lives of many other civilians. And because of this explosion, your body had somehow mutated during your deadly free fall, making you able to phase halfway through the pavement of the road you were supposed to land on. The crash put you in a coma for several months, while your body slowly healed itself from the wounds. It then took another several months of darkness, for you to find a way to phase out of the pavement. To say the least, you were fucking pissed. You wanted to find out who caused the explosion that killed your friend; that dragged you away from your family, who still believes you died in the fiery car crash that ended Ira’s life; and that forced you to endure months of darkness by yourself, the only thing you could hear was the rumbling as cars passed over top of you.

You forced yourself out of bed, grabbing a change of clothes on your way to the bathroom. After using the toilet, taking a shower, changing, brushing your teeth, among other things, you cracked your neck as you made your way back to your room, where you grabbed your backpack. After putting it on, you fastened the straps around your waist, making sure it was securely in place.


You stared up at the gray building that once held the source of the explosion from before. Glancing around quickly, you ran full force to the wall of the building, feeling as though you were running through molasses as you passed through. Looking around your new environment, you noticed you were now in a dimly lit hallway, that seemed to wrap around, making it unable to see what was at the end of either side. After gathering your bearing for a few seconds, you continued to run as fast as you could, phasing through wall after wall, trying to find any sort of clue that could lead you to finding the truth about what the machine that exploded had done to you and many others. After many twist and turns, you made it to what seemed to be the main room of the laboratory, where there was a semi-circular desk, with computer screens on it; a wall where 4 tv monitors were hanging;many different gadgets and technology that you couldn’t even comprehend.

Sneaking quietly into the room, you shifted your gaze around, not spotting anyone in the room you were in, nor in the room next to it with the glass wall. Shuffling quickly to one of the computer monitors, you plopped down into a rolling chair, taking off your backpack, and dropping it by your feet. You cracked your knuckles before you started quickly typed, trying to find a way to hack into the extravagant data system, only to fail miserably. You shook your head, face-palming as you muttered curses to yourself.

“Of course I can’t hack in! What the hell did I expect to learn from YouTube tutorials?” You muttered, rubbing your temples as a headache began to make an appearance. You weren’t used to being up this early, seeing as it was only 6 o'clock in the morning. You continued to curse yourself out for a few moments, before standing up from your seat. You shook your head one last time at the computer screen, before turning towards the door, only to let out a loud gasp. You hand flew to where your heart is, as it raced from seeing a guy standing at the entrance, looking just as shocked as you felt.

“How did you get in here?” He asked, his hand slowly lowering to his pocket, where the outline of a cellphone was. You opened and closed your mouth multiple times, trying desperately to search your mind for an excuse, but coming up blank. The only thing that was clear in your mind was that you should have thought this through, and that you had to get out of there.

“I-uh….I was- You see I…” you stuttered, completely frozen in your spot. Your eyes drifted down to the stack of papers the man held in his hands. An amazing, yet risky idea came to mind, when you assumed those papers could possibly give you a clue as to what kind of research happens in this facility that you didn’t know about. Stepping closer to the man, you reached your hand out as you forced a smile.

“My name is (Y/n)! I’m supposed to be starting an internship here!” You lied, watching as the man’s shocked face turned into a confused one.

“Intern…?” He asked questionably, seemingly hesitant to shake your hand, but doing so anyway.

“Yes! A female doctor called me yesterday, and asked me to come in early today! I should have known this was too early though, but I wanted to look around some, I hope you don’t mind Mister….” you said with a hearty laugh, trailing off so you could learn the man’s name.

“Uh, Cisco Ramon…” he said, giving you a suspicious stare. You gulped as you realized he now had his phone in his hand, and seemed to be calling someone. Panicking, you quickly snatched the pile of folders out of his hand, leaping back as he desperately tried to take them back.

“I’m so sorry Cisco, but I need these!” You called over your shoulder as you ran towards a wall, phasing out of his view.


Cisco’s mouth hang open as he stared at the wall the girl named (Y/n) had somehow passed through just a second before. His phone slipped out of his hand, the faint sound of Barry questioning if Cisco was alright emitting from it. Cisco ignored the faint sound of Barry’s voice, as he made his way to the wall you passed through, touching the wall as if he was expecting it not to be solid. He didn’t understand why your powers fascinated him so much, especially since nape has seen far better, more interesting powers, but then a thought came to mind.

“Is it (Y/n)’s powers I’m fascinated about, or is it (Y/n) herself?” Before he could debate further, a quick rush of wind flashed by him as Barry came to a speedy halt in the middle of the room. Cisco ran a hand through his hair to fix what flew up with Barry’s quick entrance as he shifted his gaze to Barry, who looked confused and worried.

“What’s wrong? You called on the emergency number,” Barry asked, glancing around to try and spot any potential danger.

“A-uh metahuman just broke in, and stole all the files I had on the recent metahuman spottings,” Cisco said, shuffling over to his computer, where (Y/n) was sitting when he first arrived. Upon flopping in his chair, he noticed the worn-out backpack that sat on the floor. Picking it up, he quickly searched through it as Barry did a quick run around the building to ensure there were no more intruders. Cisco didn’t find anything important in the bag, other than a couple packages (fav/snack), and a few random object that were clearly stolen.

“Do you know anything about this metahuman?” Barry asked, peeking over Cisco’s shoulder to peer inside the bag.

“She said her name was (Y/n), but who knows if she was lying,” Cisco muttered, plopping the bag onto the table next to him, before starting to get to work to find out who exactly this ‘(Y/n)’ person was.

“I’m going to find out who you are, Ms. Intangible.”

Cora was hurrying back home, anxious to get to her canvas before she lost her vision- when she knocked into someone and her bag of recently purchased art supplies hit the ground, a few items rolling out as it did so. “Jesus, watch where you’re going,” she mumbled before bending to retrieve the bag and items and grimacing at one of the paint tubes that had popped open.

Speech tips: From someone who went to state.

This is my post that I wrote to add on to another post about speech, and I thought I would make it my own as well :)

So fun fact about me: This is going to be my fourth year in Speech. I’ve been in it since 8th grade and am just going into 11th grade this year (Somehow??? I’m like twelve). This year I’m going to be a captain, and  I also went to state this year for my Creative Expression piece (Which is wild since I’m a sophomore aha, I’m still trying to figure out how I made it this far). I’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t know what speech is or how to do it, so I figured that I would give some tips to the newbies/people who were thinking about doing it. I’m going to link some videos of the national competitors from this year, and then I will write some tips up. 

Champion in Original Oratory

Champion in Humor

Dramatic Interpretation Runner up

Duo (No idea what place they got lmao)

It isn’t letting me link any more, yikes. 


Here’s some tips:

  • Don’t sway or do distracting things. There’s actually a way you can do that easily. Plant your feet on the ground, shoulder width apart, and keep them there. If you have an issue with your hands swaying, keep them at your sides and try to keep them lined up with the seam of your pants/skirt.
  • Tip for enunciation: There’s two ways you can do this, and you are going to hate both of them. :
  •     Way 1: Get a writing utensil and stick it between your teeth, then try to do your speech
  •     Way 2: rip a ¼ sheet of paper, crumple it up, then throw it in your mouth. Try to talk with in; try to do your speech with it.
  •     Disclaimer: You can not do this during an actual speech round
  • Get to know your character: This is especially important if you didn’t write it and got a script instead. Decide what this character’s favorite food would be. What time they would go to bed. What they would look like. Decide all the small things that would make them the person they were. This is going to help you when you have to act as them.
  • Another tip on the above, when choosing a speech, choose a speech with a character that you want to be.
  • Character pops are different based off of what your speech is about. If you’re in humor, you’re probably going to want to do quick, jerkier pops. It adds a bit of energy to you presenting. If you’re in something like prose, or just something that’s going to be a sadder speech, you are not going to do your pop like you would in humor. I consider sadder speeches’ pops to be more graceful. While you aren’t going slow, you aren’t jerking the way humor does. Your transition is going to be something graceful, like floating on clouds.
  • Speaking of character pops, please get different ways for your characters to look, especially if you are in Humor. Remember how you were supposed to learn everything about your character? This counts. Learn how they stand, what their voice is going to sound like, their facial expression.
  • If you are doing a draw category (Like storytelling, exempt reading,etc) Make sure you actually do the readings and work on them as much as you would for any other piece. in fact, work on them more. You’re learning 15 different things. I don’t care who you are, you can not put a winning speech together in the 30 minutes they give you if you don’t work on it at home as well.
  • Go in for practice more than what is necessary. I’m not sure how it works for other schools, but at my school the way speech works is that our coaches are available every day after school and you sign up for a time to work with them. I’ve heard other schools do it differently, but if yours works anything like this, don’t just go once a week because that’s all that is necessary. I was going in 3-4 times a week, along with starting to come in even before the season started.
  • If you’re doing an action that feels awkward, find a way to make it not feel awkward. Just… trust me on this. When it feels awkward you are going to look uncomfortable. If you are putting on a backpack and you don’t know what you are doing, it’s going to look weird. Either learn how to do the action you are trying to do or find an alternative.
  • Memorize your damn speech, it’ll make a world of a difference when you don’t have to hold the damn papers.

  • How to set up the beginning of your speech:
  •     small piece in of the beginning of the speech, maybe a minute or so.
  •    when you’re done with this part, do not rush into your intro. Give a one second pause, and then ease your body into a power stance. You look more confident this way, and shows the audience that you are speaking as you and not your character.
  •    Your intro can start with a quote, small story, whatever you would like. Let the audience know how this relates to your speech. At the very end, state the name of the speech and the name of your speech.  Nothing in any of this should be longer than three minutes.
  •   Here’s my example from last year:
  •       According to, Euthanasia is a term to refer to intentionally ending a life in order to relieve pain and suffering. There’s 7 countries that offer legal Euthanasia as a medical procedure, one of them being the Netherlands. The story follows Caroline, who in attempt to make sense of things tells her story about her relapse with her terminal illness and in an effort to protect her family from the financial and emotional burden, ran away hoping to receive such services. Dying in Amsterdam.
  •     Notice how Amsterdam didn’t have a name of an author come after it? That’s because I wrote the speech myself. Saying “Dying in Amsterdam, by me” Would just be dumb
  •   Note about this: Nothing in Public address has to have this teaser/intro thing. This is a interpretation thing.

  • When you go to meets, for the first time or two go watch your own round. Write down how those people are different from you, what they do that you would like to take and put into your own speech.
  • If you are using a speech someone else wrote, you can not go changing or adding words. No if, ands, or buts.
  • If you are in public address and had to look up information, you have to cite all your sources. This is so so so important. I’ve seen kids almost get into state and then get disqualified because they didn’t cite all their sources and were accused of plagiarizing.
  • The mood is going to be very different in a round based on what category you’re in. In my experience humor seems to have a weird atmosphere to it, kinda pretentious. People in prose or drama give no fucks, they’re already dying inside.
  • Don’t start a duo with your best friend. We have had about four duos in my time of speccing, all of them best friends, and you know how many survived? NONE. If you want to do a duo, choose someone with the same work ethic as you. Better yet, let your coach decide for you, please. 
  •       My best advice would be to eat small things in between rounds, and then if you must pig out wait until just after rounds are over and/or after finals while waiting for judges to make final decisions. The reason I say that is that if you pig out in between your full stomach and the taste of pizza still in your mouth is going to be so distracting. If you wait until after rounds are over, you’ll be able to let the food settle in the chance that you final.
  • Don’t talk shit about the judges. Not only is it rude, but it can come to bite you in the ass if the wrong person hears you.

Please note that you aren’t going to be the best at first, and that is okay. It’s going to take time, but if you are willing to work for it you’ll eventually get there. It’s gonna be okay. If you have any other questions, feel free to drop questions in my ask :)

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Sentence Meme

Feel free to change pronouns, etc. if you want!

  • “I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf.”
  • “I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas.”
  • “We all have moments of desperation, but if we can face them head on, that’s when we find out how strong we really are.”
  • “It tastes like it’s burnt and undercooked.”
  • “I’m very big with the under five set.”
  • “Ease up you little vampire.”
  • “Every time I’m around that man, he tries to grab my ass.”
  • “Apologize now I am begging you.“
  • “You’re the one always acting like she’s running for Mayor of Stepford.”
  • “Not now, honey, Mommy’s threatening Daddy.”
  • “Tell me again why I fought for custody of you?”
  • “I just can’t live in this… detergent commercial anymore.”
  • “It was the sound of a family secret.”
  • “I’m not feeling the grass!”
  • “She’ll find a way to survive. We all do.”
  • “She may be trash, but she’s still a human being.”
  • “And silverware. Remember silverware?”
  • “I don’t even have time to wash my face.”
  • “It’s like a high five on the lips.”
  • “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw soda cans.”
  • “We are raising little terrors, you know that, don’t you?”
  • “Don’t worry I’m not packing heat.”
  • “To live in fear is not to live at all.”
  • “You better get over there. She’s wearing cotton.”
  • “They’re six years old, make them.”
  • “She always overcompensates when she’s stressed.”
  • “You burned your rival’s house down. If that isn’t desperate, then what is?”
  • “Thank you, that’s the nicest way you could’ve said that.”
  • “Get her out of here, she’s killing it for the rest of us.”
  • “Why do I even let you out of the house?”
  • “I hate that I’m turning you into a little thief.”
  • “I got a sunburn the other day washing my car.”
  • “Keep going. I’m mad at you for about 7000 other things.”
  • “When can I have my door back?”
  • “Just know that inside, I am quietly but decidedly hating your guts.”
  • “They won’t make it to their later years if I have to spend all day with them.”
  • “If another sacrifice has to be made, I think it’s your turn on the merry-go-round.”
  • “Mom when this is over we need to talk about your parenting skills.”
  • “Sometimes evil drives a minivan.”
  • “Perhaps he should shove your head into a locker.”
  • “I always assumed I’d have sex for the first time before you had it again.”
  • “What do you know. It’s eighty degrees outside and you’re wearing fur.”
  • “Oh my God. I just want to slap and shake you.”
  • “Slow down you jerk! This is a residential neighborhood!”
  • “I’m going to have to burn every sheet you’ve touched.”
  • “You look old in that.”
  • “You’re never gonna be a sailor, what do you care?“
  • “If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave.”
  • “Lassie would’ve had a firetruck here by now!”
  • “I love my kids so much. I am so sorry they have me as a mother.”
  • “I am so tired of feeling like a failure.”
  • “Treachery never goes out of style.”
  • “When I was your age, my pen pal lived on a farm in Ohio, not a mental institution.”
  • “Our last version of normal had me popping pills. Normal is a bad, bad plan.”
  • “He hung out in your womb for a few months back in the 80s!”
  • “If you were my mom I’d smoke pot too!”
  • “I guess he does sort of have a dorky charm.”
  • “It’s a constant battle between the better angels of our nature and our inner demons.”
  • “Sometimes the only way to ward off the darkness is to shine the light of compassion.”
  • “Fine, fine, be 3’8” for the rest of your life. See if I care?”
  • “I’m not a mutual fund!”
  • “She didn’t like worrying. She felt it gave her wrinkles.”
  • “Trust is a fragile thing.”
  • “She’s like a roach.”
  • “We’re not like other families are we?”
  • “Why couldn’t he have embezzled like other white collar criminals?”
  • “Please don’t mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection.”
  • “You kissed me as though that would end this conversation and it so won’t.”
  • “My husband won’t admit that he has lust in his heart.”
  • “It will snow on the hills of hell before I ever
  • “A more eel would seem safe after you.”
  • “Well we’re not negotiating my uterus.”
  • “I hope someday you have lots of children.”
  • “You’re the man of the house? You can’t even leave it!”
  • “You know the house isn’t that big, you’re going to have to stop avoiding me.”
  • “Memories lie.”
  • “Every once in a while even I want to do the right thing.”
  • “A lifetime of responsibility isn’t always easy.”
  • “Sooner or later, we must all become responsible adults.”
  • “Most mothers will tell you their children are a gift from God. Most mother will also tell you there are some days you wish you could return them.”
  • “The only reason you have anything in your life is because you’re pretty!”
  • “That place is so pretentious. I’ve been dying to go.”
  • “Guys, my hands are tied! Thieves get spanked. That’s just the way it works.”
  • “Do you know what psychological warfare means? No? Well too bad for you.”
  • “Let’s just say I’ve put those feelings in a box and I don’t plan on looking at them for awhile.”
  • “After a few decades whiz by, I’m sure I’ll find a way to forgive him.”
  • “We’re WASPs. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best.”
  • “No offense, but you’re getting up there in years you probably forget where you put things.”
  • “Nobody in my family knows or cares where your stupid clock is.”
  • “I may be stupid enough to shoot myself, but I’m not stupid enough to walk away from you.”
  • “He’s a teenage boy! We could take away his penis, he’d still try to have sex.”
  • “Guys, this isn’t a hockey league could you take it outside?”
  • “I forgot how fun you are when you’re bitter.”
  • “I’m gonna go take a shower. Jail’s kinda gross.”
  • “My daughter is considering giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn’t take it.”
  • “You know I’ve been broke many times in my life, but I’ve never been poor. Because poor is just a state of mind.”
  • “Throughout even the most respectable of neighborhoods, you can hear the sound of scandal.”
  • “Awwww, I miss how we used to steal things from each other.”
  • “Oh sweetie, they didn’t abandon you because you’re a whore. You weren’t all that nice to begin with.”
  • “I was on vacation. It made sense at the time.”
  • “What the hell kind of street do we live on?”
  • “Good friends offer to help in a crisis. Great friends don’t take no for an answer.”
  • “Everyone loves a scandal. No matter how big or how small.”
  • “We all honor heroes for different reasons.”
  • “You talk to him all you want. I’m gonna check out the place with the electrified fence.”
  • “That sounds kinda formal for a burrito and a soda.”
  • “You know I so much wanna like you, but you just won’t let me.”
  • “You have to hand it to the Catholics, they do Greek better than anyone.”
  • “Would you like a glass of water and maybe an excuse to talk to me?”
  • “That’s me. Never afraid to create a scene.”
  • “I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered.”
  • “Today I have a chance to rejoin the human race.”
  • “I know, baby, it hurts to lose.”
  • “This is the place where good taste goes to die.”
  • “And tonight, whatever you do, don’t call me beautiful.”
  • “Some dreams are just too beautiful to come true.”
  • “I could explain to you what might happen, but I’m a lady and I don’t use that sort of language.”
  • “I would love you even if you were a murderer.”
  • “Could you please at least wait for desert before calling our son a sodomite?”
  • “Honey, I’m hating you a little bit right now.”
  • “Half of life is obligations.”
  • “You just threw rocks in her mother’s face!”
  • “She sorta thinks you’re evil.”
  • “You’re basically a predator. I need your advice.”
  • “You’re such a Republican!”
  • “I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother.”
  • “It’s not my fault you don’t have love in your life!”
  • “You are so far out of your league that you’re playing a completely different sport.”
  • “I can’t have donuts and juice it’s unnatural.”
  • “Why did you hit the lawn boy?”
  • “Maybe after lunch, we could talk about your leather beanbag chair.”
  • “I’m pregnant, caveman, remember?”
  • “For the last time, I won’t bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend.”
  • “If you don’t want to talk to me, fine! At least have the courtesy to hide!”
  • “Not everyone gets a happy ending.”
A Morning Jog is Good for Your Health

Charles was late. He was so so very late. He was running through the park, hoping that he could still get there in time. 

“What are you doing?” the man asked with a toothy grin.

Charles was initially taken aback by a stranger asking him questions in the middle of his running – can’t the man see Charles was busy? – but then his pride didn’t let him admit that he was ridiculously late for a very important event so instead he shrugged.

“Jogging.” he replied, not stopping.

“In your coat?” the man continued. Stubborn!

“I’m still new at it.” Charles lied.

“A beginner.” The man seemed to find this even more amusing. He kept that same sharky look on his face – he was smiling but it was definitely not a proper smile! – and was still jogging in pace with Charles. As if they were buddies or something, jogging together. This whole situation was becoming ridiculous for Charles.

“Yeah. Do you mind?” Charles said, hinting that now would be a good time for the stranger to leave.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all! I think jogging is very healthy and more people should do it. Especially in this park.” the man said, completely missing Charles’ subtle hint. Charles gaped at him. The man chuckled amused. “Well, maybe not in this park though. I wouldn’t like if people suddenly flooded my good park with their presence.”

“Your park.” Charles almost rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. My park.” the man nodded.

Charles couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him at that remark. “That’s sweet.”

“I agree, you are.” the man said and before Charles could process the words, the man was introducing himself – extending his right hand to Charles right there and then while the two were jogging! What even was that!? “I’m Erik.”

Before he knew it, Charles was shaking the man’s hand in return. “Charles.”

“Lovely name. And so rare.” Erik said and it took Charles a moment to realize he was being teased.

“Um. Unlike Erik!” Charles said pointedly.

The man sighed. “People keep asking me how to spell it.”

Charles chuckled again.

“Not kidding. It’s spelled with a k, they keep spelling it with a c. Don’t spell my name with a c, Charles.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Charles said. Obviously, he’d never need to spell the stranger– Erik’s – name at all. He was probably never going to see the man again.

They ran together a bit longer and then finally Charles reached the alley in the park that was going to take him to the main road he needed.

“Um, this is me.” Charles said, slowing down and jerking his hand towards the alley. Was the shark-guy going to follow him there too?

“Oh. Well, it was fun jogging with you. I jog here every day around this time. It was nice to have someone to talk to.”

Charles frowned, amused. “Thought you hated your park getting crowded.”

“One Charles is hardly a crowd.” Erik grinned again and waved Charles a goodbye.

For a few moments Charles stood there, watching Erik jog away – it was kind of a nice view from behind. Come to think of it, it was a nice view from the front too, Charles was just too nervous about his meeting to notice. A barking dog nearby pulled him out of his stupor and Charles remembered to move and run again, this time towards the road.

So this idea sort of turned into this fanfic –> 

Here it is! The last sentence prompt! Thank you all for sending in so many good ones :)

Trigger Warning: Emetophobia (there’s just a lil’ throwing up)

Ackermans Don’t Get Sick (Except for when they do)

He was definitely sick.

What had started that morning as nothing more than a sore throat had matured into shivers and a festering ache between his eyes – one that left the contents of his stomach roiling.

Holding a hand to his stomach, Levi rested his forehead against his desk, hoping cool wood might mute the sharp ache. Again, his stomach rolled. Pressing his other hand to his gut, Levi swallowed a groan.

He fucking hated being sick.

Luckily for him, he hardly ever was. But when a virus did manage to penetrate the stronghold that was his immune system, it was bad. Really bad.

In hindsight, he should have known better – taken the day off when he’d woken lethargic, his throat raw. But the deadline was approaching for his latest project, so he’d dragged himself out of bed, and into work.

Big mistake.

Clutching his stomach, he pressed his forehead more firmly against the desk as his body gave way to shivers, as though it might be violently rejecting his decision to leave the house that morning. More concerning still, was that his stomach seemed close to even more violently rejecting the bagel he’d stuffed down his stinging throat a few hours before.

Levi shuddered, miserable.

Fuck work, fuck bagels, and fuck the god-damn flu.

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Benjamin Request

Hi! Could you do one of Benjamin from Twilight where he meets you, a newborn Vampire, and he helps you to keep your thirst under control before taking you under his wing and teaching you the ways of his coven and you both eventually become mates?

The sun had gone down and you made your way out of the empty house you were staying in. You walked steadily in the shadows; that way no one saw you and, maybe most importantly, you didn’t see anyone.

You had been turned a month ago when you were walking to your car after a party one night. When you awoke two days later there was a fire in your throat. You clawed at your throat and turned in pain until a scent caught your attention. It snapped you back to the real world and had you running, with a speed you didn’t know possible, down the street where you saw a drunk man stumbling alone. Instincts seemed to take over and your mouth was on man’s neck, teeth having punctured his neck.

His rapid movement slowed as his blood left his body. You didn’t feel any urge to stop until you heard his heartbeat. It was all to slow and the man’s breathing was slow and weak. You jerked yourself away from the man and flung yourself against the wall. Every part of you you wanted to cry after you saw what you had done to the man. You made sure he was ok and ran away from the scene. Hours later, as the sun was starting to come up, you had found a house that had been left empty out in the countryside. A safe place where you were away from people. That was the first and last night you had drank from a human.

3 days later the burning in your throat, was again, too much to bare. You went outside that night and tried to find something to clear your mind. As you sat still in the middle of a field, looking up at the sky, a deer came into the field. It’s scent, although dull and bitter smelling, drew your thoughts to it. Quicker than it, you ran and caught it and sank your teeth in.

That’s how you had been living for the past 28 days; drinking from the animals that you found every few days. Now, you walked from barn to barn in the shadows of the night. You smelt something nearby and that’s what you were after. You finally caught up to the rabbit and took it into your arms sinking your teeth in. You snapped your head quickly as your heard the crunch of dried grass. 100 yards away from you stood a teenage boy gaping wide eyed at you. With your new running ability you ran over and stood in front of him. Just as he was about to yell you looked at him in the eyes and said “No, don’t.” The scream broke off in his throat. “What are you,” he asked with a scared tone in his voice.

“Nothing,” you said still holding his gaze. “I’m just a regular person.”

“‘You’re just a regular person,” he repeated.

You didn’t know what was happening but you nodded happily anyway. “Go back home. You didn’t see anything,” you told him. He nodded and slowly walked back to his home.

“How did you do that,” a man’s voice asked from the other side of the field.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Benjamin. You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Y/N. You’re like me” you stated not asked.

He nodded. “You drank from the rabbit. Not the boy. Why?”

“I can’t…I can’t control myself with human blood.”

“You’ve tried before?” You told him about your first night as a vampire. You nodded. “I’d like to help you. I am to meet with my coven in two days. If you so choose I’d very much like you to come with me. I can help you. I can help you learn our ways as vampires. I can help you learn how to harness your power are well.”

“My powers?”

“That mind game you played with the young boy. You think we can all do that?” You nodded. “That is your unique ability only.”

“Do we all have them?” He shook his head. “Do you have them?”

“That I do. And, if you choose to come with me, it would be my pleasure to show you.”

So you left with Benjamin that night and went to where he was staying where he began teaching you about vampires and how they live. Two days later you left with him and met his coven: Amun, Kebi, and his partner Tia.

After a few weeks with Benjamin you had learned how to control your thirst. You stayed longer after to that to learn about the coven and the history of your kind. After that, however, you found yourself still there, nearly 4 months later. You spent over half your time with Benjamin. Talking about whatever came to mind or just sitting together in silence. Things between you two seemed different now though. The way you laughed together, the way you grazed each other in passing, and the way that he saddened when he left you to leave with Tia. You came back to the house you shared with the coven one night after having gone for a long run. “Where’s Benjamin,” you asked Amun as you walked into the study room. “We’re suppose to have a movie marathon tonight.”

“He left some,” he checked his watch, “3 hours ago with Tia.”

“I guess I’ll just read a book then,” you said, somewhat sadly, as you plucked a book from off the shelf.

3 hours later and 2 books later there was a knock at your bedroom door. “Come in.”

“Y/N,” you turned and saw Benjamin at your door. You put down the book as he timidly walked in and sat at the foot of your bed. “Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now,” you chuckled. “What is it Benjamin? You seem…upset.”

“I broke things off with Tia tonight.”

You sat up and scooted closer to him. “What? Why?”

“I love her, I do. But, not in the way I should. Some part of me knew that she wasn’t my mate even though I did love her.”

“You’ve found a new mate?”

“I have. I have found one in you, my dear Y/N. Should you choose to take me that is.”

You nodded eagerly. “I would like that very much,” you smiled and leaned in for your first kiss with your mate.


A/N: I swear to you, none of this would be possible without the support and help from @mrsshuckface you are bae forever and always!!!

You shifted your books so you could free a hand in order to knock on the door, but before you could make contact it swung open to reveal Mason on the other side, “Hey Mase!”

“Hey, going to see Theo?” He moved aside to let you in, hugging you and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because you’re wearing his frat hoodie, Liam is with Tegan, I’m going to see Brett and he’s the only other guy in the house that you can tolerate.” Mason made his way out the door, “And you two have been joined at the hip since that party 3 weeks ago.”

You blushed at that comment, “He’s helping me with psychology.”

“I’m sure he is.” He gave you a wink, “You two be safe!”

The door slammed shut before you could make a retort so you just glowered at the dark wood, distracting you from the sound of feet approaching you from behind until you felt two hands grip your hips and you jumped.

“Hey princess.” Theo kissed your cheek, “Ready to study?”

You smiled at him and nodded, “Hell yes, I need a B on this exam or else I’m screwed.”

He flashed you a grin, “You’re gonna be screwed anyway.”

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