The Weight of a Daisy


Blake looked over at her and sighed.

“I can see you’re trying with Daisy and I get that you really want to see them,” He said slowly. “But I don’t want to do this too fast.”

Miranda wiped a tear away and sniffled, glancing at the baby slobbering on her floor. She thought she was adorable, but she was struggling to see herself as her Mother. It was something she really did want to change, but she was struggling.

“What do you want me to do?” Miranda asked after a moment of silence. Her voice was hushed and Blake looked at her, trying to keep his expression calm. He didn’t want to screw her over, he was just trying to be a good Father.

“It’s just,” He paused for a moment, not wanting to make it seem to harsh. “A little part of me is worried that you will get overwhelmed and walk out again…And I can’t let you do that to them twice.”

Miranda sniffled and took a moment to compose herself. She wiped her fingers under her eyes and shook her head adamantly.

“I’m not going to do that again,” She said firmly.

Blake sighed and didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push her away, but he didn’t want to dive right back into family life with her either.

“I just want to take it slow. Let you bond with Daisy some more,” He said quietly to try and control the situation and Miranda looked at the floor, where the baby was looking up at her, her blue eyes confused by the crying.

Miranda sighed and kept her eyes on her daughter’s face, hating that the little girl had no idea who she was.

“I just want to be a good Mom,” She said softly and Blake nodded. He knew she was trying to make things better, it would just take some time.

“And you will be,” He said when she hiccuped. “I just need to be sure you’re okay with Daisy before I open that door.”

Miranda sighed and nodded, trying to stop the silent tears. She understood where he was coming from, she really did, but it was still disappointing to hear.

Blake took the last few sips of his coffee and looked over at her. He didn’t want to discourage her and have her get angry, so he was determined to be civil. He was angry, but he knew he needed to push that aside for his children’s sake. This was about them, not him.

“I just need to be sure you can handle Daisy,” He said calmly and Miranda nodded, trying to make sure her tears were cleared up. She wanted to push it, but didn’t want to break the trust they were building up again.

When nobody made a move to talk, Miranda stood up and took the empty mugs back to the kitchen. Blake watched her stand in front of the sink for a moment, her back to him. He knew she needed a minute to compose herself, so he turned his attention back to his daughter.

She started to whine and he knew she was getting tired of using her stomach muscles. At home he used an old nursing pillow to support her back so she could sit, but he hadn’t thought to bring it. He didn’t want to bother Miranda, so he quickly got up and took a beige cushion from the couch, before propping it against the table leg and lifting Daisy so she was sitting upright. He handed her the elephant and shook a rattle, leaving it in front of her. When she seemed happy again, Blake left her to play.

When Miranda had calmed down in the kitchen, she used a tissue to fix her face, before grabbing the oven mits and lifting the lasagne out of the oven. She grabbed two plates and two glasses from the cupboard, placing them on the counter. She poured water in to the glasses and carried them over, before going back and serving up two squares of her homemade lasagne. She pulled the roast potatoes out of the oven and put a few on each plate, before serving up a little salad and carrying it all over the table, returning for the cutlery before taking her seat opposite Blake.

“Thanks,” He said as she handed him a knife and fork and she gave him a small smile as he took a bite of the lasagne, something she had always made better then he.

Blake took a few bites and waited for his daughter to interrupt as she always did when he tried to eat. When he felt little hands on his trouser leg, he tried not to laugh and lifted his baby up, settling her on his lap so she was facing the table. Miranda watched as he cut open a roast potato and pulled the potato out, mashing it with the fork. Blake put a little bit of the mashed up potato on the end of the fork and held it to Daisy’s mouth. Miranda tried to suppress her laugh as the little girl stuck her tongue out and licked it.

“She eats like a lizard,” He said lightheartedly when he saw the amusement on her face.

“Does she want something to eat? I might be able to puree something?” She asked, sounding a little panicked, having not even considered that Daisy might eat and Blake just shook his head and put a little more of the potato on the fork for Daisy to lick.

“She normally just puts some of it in her mouth and has her bottle later,” He explained, switching the potato to the tip of his finger so he could have his fork back. “I’ll have to start looking in to occupational therapy. Apparently they work on feeding.”

“What’s occupational therapy?” She asked curiously, taking a bite of lettuce and trying to keep the conversation flowing.

Blake swallowed a bite of lasagna and looked down at Daisy, who was sucking some more potato off his fingertip.

“It’s kind of therapy that teacher her skills, from what I’ve heard.” He explained. “So like feeding, motor skills, every day stuff.”

Miranda nodded as she played with her salad, trying to make sense of it.

“So how is that different to physiotherapy?” She asked and Blake used his fork to try and cut up his food, surprised at how interested she was in all this.

“Physio is physical, teaching her to use her body,” He tried to explain. “Occupational therapy is life skills, teaching her how to do everyday things.”

Miranda nodded, making a mental note to do some research when she had the chance.

Blake ate in silence for a while, noticing Miranda was only picking at her food. He didn’t say anything, but it was becoming uncomfortable, so he breathed a sigh of relief when she spoke up.

“What have the kids been doing?” She asked nervously and Blake considered telling her it wasn’t her business, but didn’t want to kill the evening. She seemed to be trying, so he sighed and readjusted the baby on his lap.

“Max started preschool,” He said first, not sure what else to say and Miranda frowned. She knew that, but hated that she wasn’t there for the milestone.

“Doesn’t that nanny look after him?” She asked, not wanting to sound condescending, just not sure what her purpose was. Blake sighed.

“Jo is only there when I need her. Max only goes to preschool once or twice a week, the other days I either have him or Jo does,” He said and Miranda nodded.

“Does he like preschool?” She asked, having a feeling she knew the answer and Blake’s face immediately looked upset.

“He doesn’t like it when I leave, but he’s okay once he starts playing with the other kids,” He told her. In reality, there were tears and Max often clung to him as he left, but there was no point telling Miranda that.

“What about Sadie?” She asked hopefully and Blake frowned. Sadie had made it very clear she didn’t miss her Mom, though Blake was fairly sure it was just an act to mask how hurt she was. Blake didn’t want to get into that with Miranda, so he just thought of anything he could think of.

“She’s good. She started 2nd grade,” He said slowly and Miranda frowned again. She could feel her throat starting to swell as she got upset, so she took a sip of water and didn’t ask anything else.

Blake could tell she didn’t want to speak about them anymore, so he gave her a moment to calm down and took the last bite of lasagna. Daisy was sticking her fingers in the sauce on the plate and sucking them, so he knew she was hungry.

“Can I heat her bottle up?” He asked, reaching down to pull it out of the diaper bag and Miranda nodded, reaching over to take it from him. She took it over to the microwave and stuck it in with the lid off. She heated it for a while and took it out. Blake watched her test it on her wrist for temperature and sniffed it, scrunching up her face.

“Is that formula?” She asked as she handed it back and he nodded, finding that a ridiculously stupid question.

Miranda watched Blake move Daisy into the crook of his arm and frowned. She had always hated giving the kids formula. The older two had been breastfed, something she felt very strongly about.

The silence filled the air again and Blake could feel her watching them. Daisy was sucking and staring into Blake’s eyes as she got sleepy, something that always warmed his heart. He considered asking Miranda to feed the baby, but she was comfortable and safe in his arms. She wasn’t used to anyone other than Blake or Jo feeding her.

“Blake?” Miranda spoke up quietly as he finished burping Daisy and let her fall asleep in his arms.

Blake looked over at her, patting the baby’s bottom rhythmically with his right hand.

“I want to talk to you about something,” she said hesitantly, nervously playing with her hands in her lap. “It’s important.”

that last client...

made me want to laugh and cry at the same time

the moment he walked in he said “read your reviews, heard you were the queen of DFK!” and i couldnt even hide my disgust lol

during the first half of our session, i just stood still and let him inconsistently touch me and kiss me all over. i stared at the ceiling as he did this, trying not to burst out laughing. but when he went behind me to spread my ass and started blowing into my asshole for about 5 minutes, i almost lost it.

i was like

then the remainder of the session, he asked me to slobber his face. “suck my face, suck my face!!! bite my nipples hard!”

i wanted to vomit when he reciprocated the face sucking.

needless to say: BLACKLISTED


“C'mon, Y/N. We’re leaving.”

He helped you up and half-carried you towards the Impala. You giggled, “This has been a fun night.”

Sam stopped in his tracks and turned to you. “You think so? When did getting slobbering drunk and having your boyfriend come pry a guy’s hands off you sound like fun?”

You stumbled closer to Sam, whispering, “I kind of like you jealous.” You wiped at the blood on Sam’s face. “And roughed up. Is this yours or his?” You glanced at the unconscious man still lying in the parking lot a few yards away.

Sam pushed your hand away and stepped back. “This isn’t like you, Y/N. Why are you doing this?”

You didn’t reply. Your eyes were pretty glazed over already, but Sam could still see pain reflecting in them. He asked, his voice softening, “Is this about the last hunt?”

You clenched your jaw and began shuffling towards the Impala again. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Sam stepped in front of you. “Y/N, I get it. Some cases are harder than others and sometimes you just want to forget-”

“He was just a kid, probably in elementary school.” You glared up at Sam, slightly swaying. Your stomach was tying itself in knots and you didn’t think it was from the alcohol.

Sam rested a hand on your shoulder. “There was a demon inside that kid. A demon that would have killed you.”

“I could have shoved him away. I could have splashed holy water on him. I could have-”

You turned to the side and vomited. You didn’t want to stop, not wanting to have to face the guilt and shame that had brought you to this point. After you were done, you began to cry.

You felt strong arms under your knees and shoulders as you were lifted off the ground. You looked up to find Sam carrying you the rest of the way. Resting your head against his chest, you sniffed, “I could have let him kill me, Sam.”

The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was a tender whisper.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

I’ve come to realize that the majority of drarry fic is like. AUs, and I love me a well-written AU as much as the next person, but like. I also really want to read super canon-compliant fic, where the plot is something like they got together their 5th year, broke up and became distant their 6th year, then when Draco covers for Harry at the manor it like…omg, just adds so much to that scene

And then after the battle is over and Voldemort is dead, they have kind of a Aragorn and Arwen moment from The Return of the King, where they make eye contact from across the room, start walking towards each other and Harry cups Draco’s face and then Draco like IMMEDIATELY knows everything’s alright between them and Harry still loves him and then they throw their arms around each other and just make out. Just slobber all over each other in front of everyone, including Draco’s parents, because who fuckin cares anymore?

And everyone is like, !!!! Because no one knew they dated in their 5th year (except maybe Hermione and MAYBE Ron?), and Draco’s parents are like thunderstruck for a second, but then they look at each other and they’re like well, shit. What can we really say? Because if you think they could muster up even a speck of Malfoy pride after THAT year? Ding dong you are wrong.

I just. Idk. I kinda wanna write that fic now but eh. I mostly just wanna read it. X/

pathossam asked:

Another ask of srs nature. Why don't more girls (or boys) hit on Sam in the show? Like, Dean gets his fair share of inappropriateness from women. I get it. He's stunning. But, Sam. If I saw that body with that face unfolding itself from a classic muscle car, I would be PANTING behind him. Like, tongue dragging the ground, leaving a trail of slobber behind, not giving Dean a second glance, panting. I absolutely don't get it. Perhaps you can shine light? Or just not get it with me?

I mean, Sam does get his share of attention from the ladies: he’s certainly not overlooked. But I think perhaps it has something to do with Dean’s confidence: he’s a lot more likely than Sam is to just bounce up to somebody and start chatting them up (lately, with less regard than ever as to how appropriate that might be, viz the chastity group leader in 9x08 or the NUN in 10x16 - who he doesn’t chat up exactly but he definitely thinks about it). Sam seems generally more reticent (which ties in maybe to some of the super wise things denugis has been saying today about his relationship with his body in general). He’ll happily respond to flirtation if it’s somebody he finds attractive (Sarah Blake, Dr Cara) but I think he’s much less likely than Dean is to make the first move, or to deliver a cheesy line just on the off-chance of getting a reaction.

Also as per what denugis has been saying (and I guess as I’ve seen others comment elsewhere), I think that Sam’s less keen on sex since his experiences in the Cage/with Soullessness/Lucifer etc etc. More than ever he seems to be trying to deflect that kind of attention and so the only people who do pursue him are those who are little bit dense on the social cues (see: the women in Ask Jeeves, although even they do eventually get the hint and are only confused by his super-awkward investigative mixed messages).

Basically, I think Sam gets less attention because he wants it less. I think for Dean sex is a) a straightforward pleasure, b) a source of comfort and reassurance and probably c) part of a deliberately cultivated image, whereas for Sam it was maybe once a), could probably still be b) but only under specific circumstances where he had a lot of control, and c) isn’t a necessary part of his image at all (cheeky remarks about bendy exes notwithstanding I guess - imho, although I fully believe in Sam’s history of sexual gymnastics, that comment made at that point in time was largely a retaliation to Dean’s suggestion that Sam was ‘weird’ around women).

That said, yes, I’m fully prepared to marvel at the fact that anybody they ever come into contact with is able to hold down any kind of conversation with him, especially with the suits and the broad shoulders and the earnest forehead of sympathy. Good lord.