Day Seven: Freebie
Inspired by an ask from the wonderful @ask-the-holiday-nightguards
“Lance, this is a bad idea. We’re gonna get caught and then we’re gonna go to space jail. They’ll probably probe us and make us pee in bottles and you know they won’t care about hygiene and-”
“Hunk! My man! My buddy! My dude! My smol sunshine child! We won’t get caught, okay? My and my siblings would do this all the time, and we only got caught once! Now be quiet! If we keep taking then we’ll get caught for sure!” Hunk pales at his words, but kept his mouth closed. Keith, however, hurried up to Lance, grabbing his wrist.
“What do you mean ‘only caught once’?!”
Lance rolled his eyes and gave Keith a small pat on the top of his head.
“Chill, Mullet! And yeah, but it was only because my sister ratted us out because we wouldn’t let her come with us.” Lance eyes glazed over as he rubbed his butt. “I swear there’s still an imprint of mama’s chanclas.”
Pidge pushed them forward. “That’s a really great story Lance, but can we please get a move on before we actually get caught? How you convinced me to do this, I’ll never figure out.”
Lance gave her a Cheshire Cat grin. “They don’t call me the sliver-tongued devil for nothing.”
“I thought they called you the tailor.”
The team continued to sneak through the empty space mall, stopping ever so often to check for security guards. It was Lance’s idea in the first place. The team stopped at this mall to restock on supplies and while Lance was wondering around, he came across this strange shop that sold swimming pools that was filled with an lilac water-like substance. He had convinced Keith, Hunk, and Pidge to sneak (break) into the pool after hours so they could all have a little pool party. He told Allura and Shiro that they were just going to explore a nearby planet, and they were none the wiser. So here they were, sneaking around a space mall, praying that they wouldn’t get caught.
“Aha! Found it! Lemme just pick the lock.” Lance reached into his hair and pulled out a bobby-pin. Keith deadpanned.
“Did you just pull a fucking bobby-pin out of your hair? Why do you even have that?!”
“I saw Kim Possible do it once and I was inspired, alright!”
“Who the heck is Kim Possible?”
Lance whirled around, clutching his heart, aspirated.
“Blasphemy!! What the quiznak Keith, how do you not know who Kim Possible is?! As soon as we get back, we’re gonna find a way to watch-”
“Lance!! Just pick the lock!” Pidge interrupted. Hunk leaned into Pidge, whispering into her ear. “How does Lance even know how to pick a lock?”
Pidge just shrugged. “Probably the mafia.”
With a satisfying click, the door swung open. With a soft whoop, Lance through he shirt over his head, eyes bright.
“Let’s do this!”
They were all having fun, splashing one another (Lance and Keith were having a full war). That was until, a familiar voice cut through the air. “PALADINS! WHAT THE QUIZNAK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
The team froze and slowly turned to the voice, only to see a fuming Allura and Shiro, who had his arms crossed while sporting a disappointed dad look. Pidge whispered a small “fuck.” while Hunk paled and squeaked out a “I think I’d rather be probed.”
Keith slowly began to sink to the bottom of the pool while Lance was frozen in place, giving them a shaky grin and finger guns.
“Haha, hey you guys! Fancy seeing you here!” Allura tapped her foot in response, face growing red with anger. Allura then slowly reached down toward her shoes. All hell broke loose.
“RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIVES!! IT’S LAS CHANCLAS!!!”
The team scurried out the pool, running madly toward the exit, Allura and Shiro hot on their tails.
“I hate you Lance. I hate you so much right now.” Pidge yelled.
“I agree with Pidge!” Keith yelled along.
“Okay, you can all tell me how much you hate me when we get back to the castle. But for now, RUN!!!”
And run they did, as fast as their legs could go. What none of them didn’t know: a whole team of security guards watched the whole scene, laughing madly and chocking on their drinks, tears streaming down their faces. Some cheered for Allura and Shiro while the other cheered for Lance and the other, placing bets on who would win.