“I think that friendship is as powerful as true romantic love. And I think that friendship can save you, and heal the parts of you that you didn’t know were broken, and change your life.” - Sarah J Maas
→ Pairing: Yoongi/Reader → Word Count: 11,085 →Genre/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst → Chapter Index
ADDITIONAL WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: suicide is sort of insinuated.
let out a low sigh at the vibration of your phone going off, this
seeming to be the millionth time it had sounded and you were
beginning to lose your patience.
had rolled over from your side to where you laid flatly on your back,
the never ending vibrations
had ripped you from your slumber, something that not even Taehyung
was brave enough to do.
I love how jimin couldn’t categorize jungkook because his frame is obviously a tad bigger than jimin’s but he’s not as big and tall like namjoon. He has a slim waist and a lean figure but he’s not as small as yoongi or jimin either. He could fit in any of jimin’s clothes pretty nicely and although it’s not his, people wouldn’t find it weird because it’s jimin and jungkook, a pair that’s often found simultaneously donning similar clothes as though it’s become some kind of normalcy, a mutual agreement between the two. That or they’re fxkn psychics to know what the other is thinking of wearing.
I spent a good while today looking for generic fantasy art to use for NPCs in my D&D game, and basically getting annoyed at how generally awful the level of design for fantasy characters is, particularly for female characters. So much of it just looks so samey. Slim coquettish humans leaning out of tight leather numbers, or innocent looking elves half dressed in leaves. You have to look hard for the good stuff (and there is good stuff) but even when you find them a lot of them basically all young, sexy, and overwhelmingly white.
Then I opened up today’s Extra Life preview of the new D&D book (Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, can’t wait) and was reminded that Wizards of the Coast themselves commission some of the best art.
Look at this character! She’s amazing! Big book of spells in one hand and magic staff in the other. Ready for an adventure. (The book made me think she was a wizard at first but with all the holy symbols of Lathander maybe she’s a cleric? idk)
I know there’s good character art out there, but it isn’t easy to find. Thank you so much @dndwizards for commissioning great art like this and putting it right into the official books.
(I’m sorry but I’ve no idea who the artist for this piece was, Wizard’s commissioned it for the new book so the credit will be in the book when it’s published I guess.)
Rated m for fingering, dirty talk, ddlg kink, public sex
Summary: What if you had the power to dictate your future? What if the things you wrote down on paper became reality?
Word Count: 6,980 words
The words on the piece of paper blur together before your eyes, and no matter how hard you try to focus them again, it doesn’t work. Heaving a sigh, you toss your assignment rubric aside and slam the lid of your laptop closed.
The noise attracts the attention of your roommate, Do Yeon, who is sprawled out on her bed working on her own research assignment, and she shoots you a concerned look.
“You alright ____? I haven’t seen you this stressed about an assignment since… well never. What mod is it for?”
“It’s for Creative Writing with Prof Park… ugh I can’t seem to get a single word out without just deleting it all. I’m screwed this time, it’s due in a week!” You thread your hands through your hair in desperation.
Do Yeon let out a mock horrified gasp, “And you always need to have all your assignments written and proof read at least 2 weeks before! You’re dead this time ______.”
You give her an eye roll in response, not bothering to come up with an actual retort.
“You need to relax Y/N ah, you still have a week to go! You should come out tonight with me and the guys from the basketball team, it’ll be really fun I promise!”
You narrow your eyes at her, unfolding your legs from your seat at your desk and joining her on the bed.
“Ya, since when did you get to know guys from the basketball team? Is there something I need to know? Kang Do Yeon, you’d better spill right this instant!” You reach towards her waist with threatening fingers, knowing exactly where her weak spots are.
She squeals in response, wielding her laptop as a shield as she scrambles back on the bed. “It’s nothing, I just met them when I decided to take up a sports elective! There’s nothing to update I promise, unless you count a teeny tiny kiss and hand holding as the start of something…”
It’s your turn to let out a gasp. “Details, now! What’s his name? Major? Does he live in the dorms too?”
“You’ll know everything if you come out with us tonight… maybe we could even find you someone,” Do Yeon says with a saucy wink.
You groan audibly and sit back on your heels. “Yeon-ah you know I don’t like to go out when I have unfinished assignments… where are we even going?”
“It’s a secret, but I promise I’ll tell you everything. You’ll even get to see him in the flesh! C’mon ______, all work and no play makes Jackie a dull boy!”
“It’s Jack,” you grumble under your breath, almost ready to cave in to her pleading. Glancing at the clock on your desk, it reads 8pm. “Alright, if I can get at least 2 pages written before 10, then I’ll come along.”
The following exclamation of triumph is nearly deafening, and you push yourself off her bed before Do Yeon can envelope you in one of her bone crushing hugs.
Situating yourself at your desk again, you plug your earphones in to drown out the sounds of your roommate chattering about plans to someone, probably the mysterious guy, on the phone and try to focus on the five thousand word assignment that lay ahead.
The clatter that sounds in the adjoining bathroom is enough to alert you that it was already almost 10. Blinking wearily and rubbing your eyes, you indulge in a luxurious stretch before saving your work and skimming it briefly. Not bad, almost 2k words in and your plot was developing nicely.
You pull your headphones out and decide to get dressed, heading to your shared closet and giving its contents a critical once over. Do Yeon emerges from the bathroom, already dressed in a crop top and mini skirt combo, putting the final touches on her makeup. Seeing your hesitation, she nudges you aside and selects a hanger from her side of the closet, pulling it out to reveal a glittery black bodycon dress.
Putting two and two together, you take the hanger from her. “So, we’re going to a club tonight?” You surmise, immediately stripping and pulling the dress over your head. It reaches slightly above your mid thigh, a little shorter than you were used to. You release your hair from its bun, causing it to cascade in loose curls over your shoulder as you reach for your foundation compact.
“Yeah, but it’s not just any club, and the company we’re going with is to die for I promise. Did you get your work done?”
“I guess… Prof Park specified a realistic romance this time, and I just don’t want it to be cliché or too cringe worthy, y’know? So far all my protagonist has done is make out with a guy in a club,” you mused grimly. Swiping a little gloss over your lips, you step away from the mirror and gather your essentials for the night into a small purse and slide into your favourite pair of strappy heels.
“Well hopefully that’s what you’ll be doing tonight too…” Her voice trails off when you shoot her a look. “Just forget about it for tonight… I’ll help you proof read it when you’re done, if that makes you feel any better.”
You give her a thankful smile, watching as she locks the dorm room. “Where are we meeting this company that’s ‘to die for’?”
“We’re meeting them there directly. Come on, let’s go.”
“Where are they? Did they ditch us?” You struggle to be heard over the loud bass sounding throughout the dance floor and the mesh of sweaty bodies around you. Do Yeon only shakes her head in response, mumbling something that gets lost in the cheers and hoots when the beat drops yet again. You see her turn around suddenly, and glance up behind her only to see a mint haired boy greeting her with a smirk upon his lips.
Ah, so that must be her mystery guy. Not bad, he had an air of arrogance about him that only seemed to add to his attractiveness, and his milky white skin stood out even in the darkness of the club. You follow his piercing gaze to somewhere behind you, and it registers that the rest of his friends must have arrived as well. Do Yeon’s cheery smile and wave confirms this, and you spin around. Surely enough, there are three others standing behind you, but your eyes are drawn to the tallest of them.
His silver hair is swept off his forehead and styled in place with gel, but his dimples had to be his most defining feature. You faintly recognise him from one of your classes, but he usually dons a pair of wire glasses and wears his hair down then, sporting caps or beanies that allows him to hide his bright hair and blend in with the rest. His gaze pins you in place, and the sexual attraction is undeniable. Suddenly aware of your staring, you immediately shift your gaze to his companions, thankful for the dim lighting of the club.
You catch a glimpse of Do Yeon’s teasing smile from the corner of your eye, and shoot up a desperate prayer that she wouldn’t do anything embarrassing, at least not in front of this handsome not-so stranger. A sudden nudge at your lower back catches you off guard, causing you to stumble straight into his arms. The firmness of his chest against your cheek makes you gasp in mortification.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, did I step on you?” You sputter, all semblance of coherence and calm vanishing at the feeling of his large hands settling on your waist.
A low chuckle emits from his chest, one that you feel more than hear, and it sends shivers down your spine. He brings his plump lips closer to your ear, and you tell yourself that it’s because of the sheer volume of the music in the club that’s playing, not because of anything else.
“Not at all. We’ve met before, haven’t we? In Prof Lee’s psychology class. You’re ____ right?”
It’s an uphill battle with your racing heart as you struggle to get your next words out without your voice trembling. But it’s a relief to finally place the handsome, tall boy.
“Yeah! You looked so familiar, you’re Namjoon right? The one who questioned me continuously for five minutes about my presentation on the spotlight effect.”
He chuckles again, and you suddenly feel like you would do anything if only to hear the rich, melodious sound from him again. You remember him as the studious one in class, always asking questions and raising doubts with whoever was presenting content. It would have been weird to be discussing a presentation whilst in a club with anyone else, but with Namjoon, it feels perfectly normal.
The crowd of people around you are moving along to the beat, but Namjoon and you are relatively calm in the sea of bodies. He pulls you in closer to his chest so that you can stay out of the way of a stray elbow, and you relish the feel of his strong arms around you. The warmth of his lithe body is intoxicating, and before long you find yourself winding your arms around his slim waist as well, leaning your head onto his chest and feeling more secure than you have in a long while.
His proximity serves a dual purpose when he tilts his head down, “I’m glad you came out today, ___. I’ve been wanting to ask you out for ages.
His blunt words shock you, and you glance up at him uncertainly. But his brown eyes are unwavering, and his unbridled honestly brings a flattered smile to your face. You’re unsure of what to reply to such an outright statement. Instead, you reach up to run your fingers through his silvery hair, something you’ve been wanting to do ever since you saw him. Your next move shocks even you, and you’re not sure if it’s Namjoon’s spicy cologne that draws you in or the three shots of liquid courage that Do Yeon forced down your throat earlier on at the bar, but as you reach up to press your lips against his, the bugging question lingering at the back of your mind is finally answered.
His lips are as soft as they look.
The loud blare of your alarm the next morning jolts you out of your sleep, and you awaken with a groan. Fumbling in the sheets around you to locate your phone, an unusual grin makes its way onto your lips when you see the message waiting there, even though it’s only 8am.
Namjoon: Hey I’m really sorry last night got cut short because of Taehyung… but I’d love to see you again. Have dinner with me today?
You allow yourself to stare at his message with a grin on your face for a while longer, before realising that Do Yeon is still asleep and about to miss her morning lecture.
“Ya Kang Do Yeon, it’s 8am, you’re going to be late for Econs!” You flip the covers off the lump in her bed. She whines in response, and you have to physically drag her out of bed and push her into the bathroom before she’s awake.
You’re just typing out a response to his message before Do Yeon’s hung over voice sounds from the attached bathroom.
“So… how’s you and Namjoon? I hope you guys were safe last night.” Her words elicit a blush onto your cheeks, and you quickly exit the app on your phone before you mess up and send something unintelligible.
“We didn’t do anything for your information… he had to go take care of his friend who was drunk off his ass and making a scene. And you didn’t spill about yours like you promised!” Your effort to change the topic succeeds, and there are gargling sounds before Do Yeon replies.
“His name is Yoongi, and he’s majoring in architecture. He’s pretty chill, I kinda like him. Pity last night had to end so soon huh?” She steps out of the bathroom in a manner too calm for someone who’s late for class. Sensing that she’s about to question you about Namjoon once more, you stand and grab her bag from her desk and shove it into her hands, pushing her out the door.
“You don’t have time to waste, you’re late for class! We’ll talk later, bye!” You slam the door in her face, heaving a sigh of relief at her retreating steps.
Pulling up the message on your phone once more, you type out a proper response before setting your phone aside and pulling your laptop towards you to work on your assignment. The moment the word document comes up on your screen, you frown as you glance over your brief attempt at writing, finding it a little too similar to what actually happened.
You brush it aside. People make out in clubs all the time, and this happened to be a coincidence. There was no way you’d predicted meeting Namjoon and making out with him at the club last night. He’d simply lingered in your sub-conscious since you knew him from another class, and it all just ended up on paper. Right?
But every detail, even the silver hair and his black dress shirt paired with dark washed denim jeans ripped at the knee down to the scruffed brown Timberlands were exactly on point. A chill comes over you, and you sit back in disbelief. The faint buzz of alcohol last night may have prevented you from realising anything at the club, but at the very moment, even with the slight pounding headache of a hangover, everything is crystal clear.
No way. Such things only happen in the realm of fiction. Your phone buzzes with an incoming message, and you glance toward it, a flutter of butterflies erupting in your stomach when your eyes scan over Namjoon’s affirmative reply.
It clicks, and there’s only one way to prove your crazy theory wrong. You take a deep breath, and begin typing at your laptop furiously.
The strain of sitting through 2 lectures after a late night out has taken its toll on you, and you tiredly massage your shoulders while balancing your laptop in one arm. You rotate your shoulders and sigh in relief, your thoughts flashing back to your assignment that you’d slaved over that morning. Finishing the dinner date that was about to happen left you about a thousand words from the limit, but you can’t decide if your newly discovered ‘power’ is an advantage or not. What’s the fun in being able to predict everything, leaving nothing to chance? Variety is the spice of life, the more rational part of your mind argues. It’s as if you are dictating someone else’s thoughts and actions, and it feels wrong. A rush of nerves floods your chest as you glance at your watch, standing outside the café you and Namjoon had agreed to meet at earlier.
He was late, just as you had written him to be.
Telling yourself firmly that it was another coincidence, you push open the glass doors of the café, deciding to get a table first. Situating yourself in a cozy corner, you close your eyes briefly and try to fight the tendrils of fatigue tempting you to call off the date and snuggle in your bed back at your dorm.
Before long, there are footsteps coming toward your table in the relatively quiet café, and the drag of a chair against the floor alerts you to his presence. You keep your eyes closed for a moment longer. Maroon shirt, black snapback and black ripped jeans. You pray that you’re both right and wrong.
“Do I put you to sleep already? Am I that boring?” His timbre voice sounds from directly in front of you, and you can’t avoid the moment any longer. Opening your eyes, they immediately land on his, taking in the silver blob of hair poking out from his black snapback positioned backwards on his head. His smile is broad, and it makes the corner of his eyes crinkle in the most adorable way, but you can’t focus on that right now. Especially when you see his maroon shirt with sleeves that cut off at just the right length, exposing his toned biceps.
You’re shell shocked and tongue tied, and it doesn’t help when Namjoon engulfs one of your hands in his in concern.
“____, are you okay?”
His words bring you back to the situation at hand, and you blink rapidly to focus again.
“Yyeah, just tired from a long day. How was yours?” You manage a smile as he runs his thumb across your palm soothingly.
He launches into a description of his classes for the day, and you’re happy to settle in and listen to him speak so passionately about his major. A waiter brings the menu to your table, and you open it, scanning down the dinner items briefly. Deciding to test things out once more, you glance back up at him.
“How do you feel about the bacon and mushroom truffle cream pasta?”
His eyes widen comically in disbelief, “I’ve been craving that ever since I woke up this morning. It’s like you read my mind or something.
The uncomfortable semi truth in his words makes your heart skip a beat, and you laugh it off. “Really? Nah, it’s only because I was craving the exact same thing,” you lie, passing the menu back to the waiter after placing your order.
“You look beautiful today by the way.” His sudden compliment surprises you; you hadn’t written that into his speech. Maybe there were some things you couldn’t predict, and a sense of relief threatens to overwhelm you.
“Namjoon, can I ask you something? You’re majoring in psychology right?” You continue on at his answering nod. “Is there a theory or something where um, a person is able to predict future events of their lives? Like they can tell the immediate future, kinda like premonition?”
Your cheeks heat up once your words are out. His nose wrinkles a little in the most attractive way as he seriously considers your question, and you appreciate that he doesn’t immediately burst out in laughter at your question.
“Hmmm there is something called correlation and prediction, but that’s more to do with data collection. I don’t think you meant that right? There’s also something called the schemata theory, which has to deal with the way an individual’s preconceived notions and beliefs affect the way they interpret new situations and knowledge. But that’s not really it either…” His voice trails off apologetically as he meets your eyes again. “Why do you ask, though?”
You smile at his genuine attempt to answer you, and pat his hand gently on the tabletop.
“Hmmm nothing, it’s just a thought I had while brainstorming for my creative writing minor I’m taking.” It’s not exactly the truth, but you’re not sure how he would react to the idea of you dictating his every action, so you decide that this has to be the most you can divulge.
“Damn, your mind never stops working, does it? You’re out on a date with me and all you can think about is school.”
You’re about to accuse him of doing the exact same thing, but his smirk tells you that he’s only teasing. You roll your eyes, “Excuse me, who said this was a date? Are we officially dating without my consent now?”
“We have been ever since you eye fucked me at the club last night. It would have ended differently had Taehyung not messed things up.” He licks his lips, and his gaze is almost predatory as it drops from your eyes to your own lips. The sight of his tongue sends naughty thoughts coursing through your mind, and you wonder just how good he is with it.
His boldness is unpredicted, and so are his chuckles as he reaches up to remove his snapback, running his fingers through his silver platinum hair the exact same way that you did last night. You’re unable to look away from his long, slim fingers, and suddenly you wonder how they would feel like inside you. That thought causes heat to flare in your lower belly, and you clench your thighs together, thankful that he can’t see it from his seat.
You’re caught between trying to meet his smoldering gaze and wondering where the limits of your predictive ability lie, since there were several things that didn’t go as planned. You’d intentionally written the night to end in a rather PG rated way, since you couldn’t exactly turn in erotica for 40% of your grade. Prof Park might be open minded, like most of the arts faculty, but it was still a risk you were unwilling to take. The thought disappoints you a little, but your thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of your food. Despite yourself, you reach for your phone and send a text to Do Yeon just in case.
Our room might be otherwise occupied tonight. Come back at your own risk.
The night air is serene and there is a comfortable silence between you and Namjoon as the both of you stroll leisurely back towards the dorms. You’re again reminded of just how tall he is when you barely reach up to his shoulder, and you’re just waiting from him to grab your hand when you feel his warmth as he interlaces his fingers with yours.
You squeeze his fingers a little in response, and the question he asks next is one that you remember writing into his dialogue, so you already have a response at the tip of your tongue.
“I can’t believe you almost didn’t recognise me at the club yesterday. Even after almost half a semester together, am I really that forgettable?” He feigns a hurt tone, and you reach up to poke him in one of his dimples.
“You’re always wearing a snapback or a beanie so your hair is hidden… and I usually sit at the front row too.”
“Noted. Ditch the headgear. And I’ll start sitting at the front row from the next lecture onwards, so save me a seat.” A wry grin makes its way onto your face at his inner dork.
He walks you all the way back to just outside your door, and your heart is in your throat as you try to stall for time, fishing around for your keys in your bag for as long as possible.
“Do you have a black hole in there or something?” His playful question lets you know that you’re out of time, and you sigh mentally before pulling them out and unlocking your door. You’re just about to step inside when he stops you with a hand on your wrist, and your heart skips a beat, though you try to conceal it as best as you can as you slowly turn around.
But he doesn’t ask for an invite in, neither does he push you against the door in a heated kiss like you hope. Instead he does exactly as you’d written him, placing a chaste kiss against your forehead and muttering a soft goodnight. The feeling of his lean body reminds you of the previous night in the club, and all you want to do is grab him by the collar and pull him inside and straddle him on the bed. It’s all you can do to keep the disappointment from showing on your face as you wish him in return, and gently close the door.
You immediately head towards the drawer by your bedside, withdrawing your little orange vibrator and it’s a long, heated night filled with images of his wet tongue and and glimpses of silver hair between your legs, but you’re nowhere close to satisfied by the end of it.
The next few days pass in a blur, and your progress on your assignment is at a standstill. It’s more than just a simple writer’s block, and you’re at a loss of how to end your protagonist’s romance without effectively ending yours as well. The thought of having to relive whatever scenario you write next dampens your mood somewhat, and you begin to curse whatever deity who had bestowed this ‘power’ upon you. Suddenly, being able to dictate your future doesn’t seem all that appealing anymore, and the weight of your unwritten words weigh heavily upon your shoulders.
Do Yeon offers to proof read whatever you have up to this point and give tips on how to continue, but you reject her offer vehemently. It feels much too private to let anyone but yourself be privy to, and you almost consider scrapping the whole assignment and starting from scratch again. But the deadline looms in less than a day, and you have no idea what rewriting your assignment would mean for your relationship with Namjoon.
So you have no choice but to soldier on. You pick up your rubric again, and slowly tick off every element that Prof Park mentioned he’d be looking out for. All but one item remains to be checked off: Creativity and originality. There is nothing that original so far, but a thousand words is enough to change that, with a drastic twist. You decide that the only way to achieve that is for your main characters to break up, contrary to the romance theme.
Not everything happened accordingly the last time at dinner, and it’s all you can hope for as you dredge up your muse and craft an argument to split the couple up, ticking off the last box on your list as you go.
Your calves are burning as you hurry in the direction of your psychology lecture after turning in your paper. Your vision is bleary from staying up half the night to finish your assignment, and as a result you almost miss the silver head in the front row.
You plop down beside Namjoon and he turns to look at you.
“What happened to saving me a seat? Whoa wait, let me guess, late night?” He asks as he takes in the dark circles around your eyes and your messy hair thrown in a bun.
“Yeah, pretty much. Was rushing an assignment for another class.” It’s the first time you’ve seen him ever since the previous night, and a sudden blush blooms across your cheeks as you recall your pathetic attempts at satiating your need. Thankfully, before he can ask any questions, the professor begins the lecture, and a hush of silence falls upon the entire lecture theatre.
The professor leaves you all with a partner project regarding behavioural studies, and Namjoon turns to you, using an index finger to push his glasses back in place. “What do you think of working on cognitive dissonance for our project?”
You’re distracted by his long, slender fingers again, but the flurry of students packing and leaving around the two of you buys you some time to answer him. “Yeah, sure. Let’s meet in the library later to get started.”
The walk to your next class just so happens to share the same route as Namjoon’s, and along the way he’s chatting your ear off on possible references and angles to take on your research project. But you only hear half of what he’s saying as you try to agree with everything, not wanting to tempt fate or whatever mysterious forces at work by disagreeing and signalling the start of an argument.
“Did you think of me after I left that night?” His sudden question has no link whatsoever to his previous topics, and you stop in your tracks, causing a few other students to nearly crash into you.
“Wait what? I thought we were discussing our project.” Your deer in the headlights look is much too telling, and your curse your inability to put on a proper poker face.
“I thought about you for the rest of the night, babygirl.” His blatant statement, along with his neutral expression, as if he were discussing the weather, causes a rush of arousal to slam into you, and you’re speechless as a result. Trust Namjoon to go from nerdy, studious dork to unabashed sex god in a span of less than a few minutes.
Your floundering doesn’t affect him in the least, and he only smirks at your lack of a response.
“Don’t forget, babygirl. 3pm in the library.”
You spend the rest of the day highly aware of the dampness in your panties. Your sexual escapades weren’t much to boast of other than a few bouts of vanilla sex with several exes, but Namjoon’s newly coined nickname for you ignites a heat in your lower belly, and you curse at the thought of having to endure your meeting with him in the library before you can head back and have another session with your vibrator.
3pm comes all too soon by the time you finish your last class and head for the library, both dread and excitement warring inside of you. The more you hang out with Namjoon, the higher the chance of things turning out the way you wrote them to be, so logically, you should end things with him as soon as possible and there might be a slim chance of you remaining friends.
But you were never a logical person at heart.
The library is almost empty, with mid terms just over and you claim a study pod the very back near the psychology section with your belongings. You decide to get a headstart and pick out some of the references he’d mentioned earlier, sending Namjoon a brief text to let him know you’re already here.
By the time he arrives, your cosy study pod is already piled high with books, and you’re so immersed in your research that you don’t realise he’s here until he slides into the seat next to you. The proximity of his jean clad thigh next to your own bare one throws you off focus, and you have to read the same sentence three times before finally grasping its meaning.
Wanting to get your meeting with him over and done with as fast as possible, you shift away a little to regain your focus and keep your eyes fixed on the text in front of you. “The references you stated earlier don’t really fit the angle we’re going for, I think we should- why is it so dark in here?”
“Oh. I drew the privacy screen when I came in. There were a couple of consultations going on outside and I didn’t want us to be interrupted.” Namjoon pulls off his hoodie as he speaks, leaving him in just a thin white shirt that makes you swallow hard. His double entendre, along with being alone with him in such a small, enclosed space reignites your arousal, but he seems totally unaffected. “What were you saying earlier?”
“Um, it’s just that uh, I think we should change our topic, since Prof already lectured quite a bit on it today. It wouldn’t be very impressive if we just copy all his references.” Your voice trembles at the start of your sentence, but you manage to regain your composure by flipping to the notes you’d copiously taken earlier that morning.
Namjoon frowns in disagreement, “But if we can put a new spin to whatever Prof mentioned and convince him that we’re right, it’ll be more than enough. Isn’t that what you did for your last presentation?”
“Yes but that was a brief presentation, this is an essay assignment. I’m not so sure how effectively we can go against years of research done by renowned scientists and still sound reasonable.” Your voice is raised now, eliciting a few hushes from outside and that’s when you realise the pod isn’t soundproof. Your heart sinks as you’re suddenly aware of the escalating argument, seeing as neither of you are the type to give in when it comes to academics. You decide to take the passive aggressive approach and pacify him.
Lowering your voice, you stand slightly and grab your laptop that’s sitting right in front of him, having prepared a few other theses to persuade him to change your essay topic. “Maybe we could work on these instead, I’ve already-“
“You’re so wet that I can smell you from here.”
And there he goes again with his out of the blue sexual comments that affect you way more than they should. Your frustration with him has reached a peak and you consider throwing one of these heavy tomes of research books at his smug little head, but considering you’re in a library, it doesn’t seem like it’ll go well.
“Shall we see if you’re as wet as I think you are?” His hand crawls up your inner thigh, causing the hem of your skirt to rise higher and higher. You open your mouth to protest, but he silences you with a hand cupped over your core. “What a naughty girl you are, so wet for me, in the library too…”
“I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you’re going to be a good girl for me and answer them truthfully. Or else I’ll put you over my lap and spank you so hard the entire library will hear.” His voice is calm and collected, as if he’s still discussing your project, but there’s an edge to it that makes you nod in reply.
“Did you touch yourself after I left that night?”
“Yes.” Your voice is small and meek, but you admit to it nonetheless. Namjoon smiles in satisfaction, and dips his hand beneath the waistband of your underwear, fingers seeking out your clit. He rewards you with three swift, quick strokes, and you whine in protest as his fingers still again.
“Did you want me to come inside and fuck you till you forgot your own name?”
“Yes,” it comes out in a gasp, and his fingers dip down toward your entrance enticingly, gathering the evidence of your arousal and glossing it over your sensitive bud with his coated fingers.
“What do you want me to do to you babygirl? Use your words.” The nickname has you squirming in your seat, trying to angle his fingers to where you need them the most.
“I want to feel you inside me. I need you to make me cum,” your eyes lock onto his own lust filled ones, pupils blown wide, and you realise that you’re not the only one who has been spending the entire day in low key arousal after all.
His long fingers surge into you, and you’re so wet that he slides right in. The resulting noise that echoes in the study pod is positively filthy, but the delicious stretch distracts you and you thrust your hips up towards his hand. His tongue traces the shell of your ear, and you turn towards him, desperate for more friction, for more of his touch, for him in his entirety.
His lips meet yours in a heated kiss, and you moan into his mouth when he grinds his palm onto your clit, and you tighten around him.
“Fuck babygirl, you’re so tight.”
The thrusting of his digits accompanied by the swirling of his thumb around your clit makes the heated coil in your belly tighten even more, and the white hot pleasure has you gasping for air, writhing under his touch. With each stroke of his talented fingers, Namjoon brings you closer and closer to the edge, and towards an orgasm better than any that you’ve ever had with your vibrator or even your previous exes. He seeks out the spot within you that makes you grasp onto his shoulders and bite your lip in an attempt to hold back the sounds of your ecstasy.
You angle your body toward him so that he can reach deeper inside your slick cunt, and one of your hands makes its way up his thigh toward the tent of his jeans. You fumble at the zipper for a few seconds before grasping his steel length from the opening of his pants, and swiping your thumb across the engorged, red head weeping with precum. He mumbles a curse under his breath and you’re delighted to be able to have such an effect on him, but at that moment, his fingers dance over that spot once more, and combined with the consistent pressure against your nub, hurtles you off the edge. You’re too consumed in the feeling of bliss that spreads from your core all the way down to your toes that you slacken your grip on his cock.
Namjoon helps you through your orgasm by giving you a few more thrusts with his fingers, before withdrawing them entirely and you watch with hooded eyes as he licks your essence off each finger individually.
“Take your panties off and straddle me.” His commanding voice has you sitting up and pulling off your white cotton panties off with one hand, and he snatches the garment from you, tucking them into the back pocket of his jeans.
“White hmmm? You’re pretending to be so innocent but here you are, fucking me in a study pod in the library,” his baritone voice and filthy words send shivers down your spine, and he reaches for your waist and helps you to situate yourself over him. His grip prevents you from sinking down onto his cock, and you whine when the tip of him grazes against your still sensitive clit.
“Please,” you rotate your hips helplessly over him, trying to angle yourself just so that he can slip in.
“Please what babygirl?”
“Please fuck me.”
“Say that we can keep this topic for our essay, and then I’ll pound you so good, _____.”
“What?? Namjoon I swear-“
“Come on _____, you’re just one word away from another mindblowing orgasm,” he grinds the head of his cock into your slit, and you try your best to force your weight down on him, but his wiry strength keeps you in place and you almost sob in frustration.
“Cocky bastard, who said I enjoyed the last one?”
“I think the scratches on my shoulder and your bleeding lip might attest to just how much,” He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and you can feel him sucking a bruise into your skin.
You’re so wet at this point that you’re practically dripping onto him, and the feeling of his tongue laving over your sweaty skin is more than you can bear.
“Ok we can keep it so just fuck me already!”
His grip on you loosens at once and he slides in to the hilt, and the sensation of being stretched so wide leaves you breathless and gasping for air. For once, Namjoon’s just as affected as you, as he throws his head back against the headrest, digging his fingers into your thighs so hard that you can already feel bruises forming.
The feeling of your heat gripping him tightly has him panting in your ear, and you realise that he’s just been hiding his arousal all this while. Feeling a sudden rush of empowerment, you tighten your muscles around him, causing his thighs to tense into steel beneath you.
“Fuck, why are you so tight? You’re dripping wet on my cock, do you want to cum?” His penchant for dirty words only fans the flames of your orgasm, and you forget entirely about teasing him.
You place a hand against his chest as he bounces you on top of him, and every stroke fills you perfectly to the brim. He reaches down to roughly stroke your clit again, and his hips surge into yours repeatedly. Namjoon’s harsh, staccato breaths alert you of his nearing climax, and you bring your lips to his ear.
“I want to feel you cum inside me, can you cum for me Daddy?” He lets out a deep growl in response, and his hips start to stutter, thrusts becoming sloppy as he nears his orgasm. He gives one last flick to your clit, and the tension in your core is released, and you clamp your walls down around his pulsing length.
White hot bliss erupts from behind your tightly shut eyelids, and beneath you, Namjoon gives a few more sharp thrusts before painting your walls with his hot cum, and you relish the warmth as you slouch in his arms.
“That was an interesting method of conflict resolution,” you say as you climb off his lap, feeling some of his cum leak out onto your inner thighs. “Can I have my underwear back now?”
“I didn’t know how else to make Miss Top Student shut up. And it worked, didn’t it?” He tucks himself back into his pants, but makes no move to return your panties.
You roll your eyes in exasperation, tugging your skirt back into place and standing up so you wouldn’t stain the seat. “If you think you won, then you’re so wrong. But I guess it’s a lot better than the other alternative I imagined. Panties, now.”
“I like the thought of you walking out of here with my cum dripping down your thighs.”
You punch him on the shoulder for his lewd comment, but by now you’re already used to them. He follows your cue as you gather your things, holding the door of the pod open for you.
“What other alternative were you thinking of?”
“Well, let’s just say it was a premonition.”
A/N: Thank you so much for reading!!! I hope you liked my twist on the overly done college AU. Hopefully it wasn’t too confusing? I’ll leave the actual details of how her premonition works and all that ambiguous, but let’s just say that small details can be predicted, but bigger ones are sort of undetermined.
Author’s Note: Hope you enjoy ! Some Loki smut for
all you dirties. Sorry it took so long, by the way.
Warning: smut, NSFW, slightly
dominant reader, then Loki, oral on a man
Request: I! Can you write a Loki
imagine about him protecting her from an enemy? I got this idea from a person’s
LOKI SMUT PLEASE
You were surprised when Thor brought
Loki to fight with the rest of the team. Not that it was a bad thing. You found
yourself incredible attracted to the god, but kept your feelings to yourself.
He was cold and sarcastic and you knew that he would never be interested in a
measly human like you. His dislike for the human race wasn’t necessarily a
The mission involved a large group
of super soldiers created by HYDRA and aliens. You didn’t even want to
rationalize how these two groups decided to work together. Instead, you focused
on helping beat them and keeping civilians safe.
The fight was long. You all had
underestimated how many enemies you would have and the team was definitely on
the smaller side in comparison. You shot your gun to as many HYDRA and alien
bodies as you could. If anyone crossed your path, you would shoot. You were
grateful for thinking of bringing extra ammunition.
You were too preoccupies shooting at
whatever was in front of you that you completely forgot to cover your back. You
were an agent, you were trained for missions like this and when you heard a
bullet shoot and whiz past your ear, you cursed yourself for being so stupid.
“Shit,” you said, turning
and shooting at the soldier that shot at you. You fired your gun at him and you
watched him go down. Another soldier showed up after him ad you tried to fire,
but you were out of rounds. Your heart leaped to your chest as you tried to
reload your gun as fast as possible.
You weren’t quick enough and the
bullet shot out of the man’s gun in slow motion. The bullet approached you and
your limbs felt like cement and you couldn’t even move. You knew that there was
no way that bullet wouldn’t hit you.
Until you saw it curve. You
questioned gravity, physics, everything you could think of. You couldn’t
understand how exactly a bullet
curved in mid air, back towards the soldier that shot it. You looked around and
were surprised to find Loki making his way towards you.
You glanced at you as he continued
to fight, using his magic, and you were slightly confused. He looked upset, but
he didn’t say anything, so neither did you. You turned around, finished
reloading your gun, and continued to fight
After hours, you were done. The
fight was finished and you were grateful the team only suffered minor injuries.
You all got lucky this time.
On the way back to the Avengers
base, you kept glancing at Loki, who kept staring at you, his brows still
furrowed and he looked very upset. You wanted to talk to him, but you felt
awkward and you didn’t exactly know what to say to him.
You all arrived to the base and you
all started walking towards your rooms.
You saw Loki walk with Thor towards
their temporary room and you jogged after them.
“Hey, wait up!” you called
and they both turned to face you.
You smiled at him. “Thanks,
Thor. Um, I was hoping I could talk to Loki.”
You glanced at the blue eyed god and
he was staring at you intently. Thor clapped him in the shoulder and continued
making his way to his room, Loki staying behind.
“yes?” he spoke, his voice
clear and smooth.
You turned towards him and blushed. “Um,
I wanted to thank you…for saving me.”
His stoic expression didn’t change.
“Is that all?”
You didn’t want this to be the first
and last conversation with the man, so you quickly thought of something to say.
“Why’d you do it?”
He smirked at you, a devious look in
his eyes and you felt yourself grow even more attracted to him.
“Because I didn’t want anything
to happen to you,” he said and you were surprised at how sweet his words
“Not before I did this,”
he continued and you felt his lips slam against your own. Your entire body grew
warm and you quickly kissed him back, tangling your hands in his hair.
You pulled away to take a shuddering
breath in. “You like me?”
“No, I kiss everyone I
meet,” he answered, smirking at you.
“I hope that’s a lie,” you
said and he shrugged, raising an eyebrow at you.
“And why is that?”
“Because I wanted to thank you
the proper way,” you said, gaining some confidence now that you knew he
was attracted to you.
You grabbed his hand and pulled him
into the nearest room in the hall. The room was empty and you assumed it was a
vacant one. You turned towards him once more once you locked the door behind
you and he let you push him on the bed.
He could have easily overpowered
you, but he didn’t, clearly enjoying watching you in control. You crawled on
top of him, straddling his slim hips and leaned down to kiss him again. The
kisses became increasingly passionate and you felt a familiar heat pool in your
You came back up, taking off your
shirt and he leaned upwards, too, following your example. His lean body was
perfect in your eyes and you felt your excitement grow.
You gently ran your fingertips over
his skin and you could have sworn you felt him shudder.
“Sit on the edge of the
bed,” you said, standing up from your position and proceeded to take off
your pants. “And take your pants off.”
He seemed amused at how dominant you
were being, but didn’t question your desires. You took your bra off, staying in
your panties and turned to find him sitting there in all his glory, completely
naked. You were pleased to find him completely erect and felt proud of yourself
for making him that excited.
You kneeled next to him and he
looked at you, slightly confused. Apparently, no one had done this for him
One of your hands wrapped around his
member and you felt him twitch. You started pumping your hand, up and down, and
smirked at Loki, who’s eyebrows were furrowed once again and he was biting his
lips. His bright blue eyes looked almost black and his pupils were dilated
“Really, Loki, thank you for
saving me,” you said, in the most seductive tone you could manage.
“You have nothing to thank me
for,” he groaned out.
“Of course I do, Loki,”
you responded and leaned upwards to take his dick into your mouth. You heard
him groan quietly and felt his hands go to your hair to hold you in place. You
started to suck gently on it, slowly increasing your speed until he was
groaning uncontrollably. You felt empowered that you had made the always
in-control Loki into the moaning mess he currently was.
You penis started twitching and you
knew he was close, so you released him with a ‘pop’. You leaned back and
smirked at him once he focused his eyes on you. He stood abruptly and picked
you up roughly, bending you over the table in the room. You felt his hand rub
against your cunt through your soaked underwear and you let out a moan. You
felt him move the material aside and he quickly entered you from behind.
The sudden intrusion and his size
made you groan in slight pain, but you got used to the feeling quickly and when
he started thrusting, you moaned in pleasure. One of his hands gripped your
waist tightly and the other reached around to rub your clit. The explosion of
pleasure in your lower regions made your vision go black and your orgasm came
over you unexpectedly.
He continued to thrust, dragging
your pleasure further and you felt him groan as he came.
He stepped away from you, his penis
sliding out of your wetness. You turned to face him and he was smirking, the
devious look in his eye once again. He gave your body a once over.
Hi everyone! This one shot scenario has been in my head for quite a while, however @stacey–lowe gave me the idea to make it a plus size one. That isn’t the main topic of the one shot though, as I normally try to write as few descriptions of how the female lead looks as possible, so anyone can relate to it. But I definitely tried my best. :) Thank you so much for every like, reblog and follow!
Summary: Harry and Y/N’s Skype call is interrupted by no one other than his ex, Kendall Jenner.
Pic sadly isn’t mine.
The tips of my fingers danced on the keys of my laptop, my hands somehow unable to keep still. My eyes kept landing on the small clock in the right corner of my computer screen, which indicated that Harry was already ten minutes late for our Skype date. Sure, ten minutes wasn’t much, but for Harry it did seem quite unusual, as he normally rather called early than late. My teeth bit down on my bottom lip and my heart squeezed happily when (finally!) the familiar ringtone erupted and Harry’s lovely face appeared on the screen. I hastily clicked the green ‘accept’ button and smiled widely at my boyfriend appearing in front of me, a bright smile pulling at his own lips.
“Hi, love,” Harry greeted me.
His hand appeared on the screen as he pretended to reach out for mine and I blushed when my own fingers met the image of his.
A giggle fell from my mouth, as his face was a little too close to the camera, the angle giving his face a slightly weird look. His nose appeared bigger, his chin flat and I could practically count his stubble.
“You forgot to shave,” I joked which had a blush rose to his face and he shook his head, rearranging his computer to bring more distance between himself and the small camera.
Harry rolled his eyes, but a smile danced on his lips, “S'not that bad yet, is it?”
“Of course not,” I giggled and lifted my hand to kiss the tips before pressing it to the image of Harry’s cheek. Harry would never be anything other than impossible not to look at. Harry cooed at me and pretended to kiss my palm before chuckling, his deep dimples becoming visible in both cheeks. We were so sappy with each other and way too happy about it to care.
“How are you? Busy day?” he wondered, his gaze locked on mine still, the tip of his tongue sliding over his bottom lip.
“Not as much as I anticipated,” I shrugged, "Yours?“
”'Bout the same,“ Harry yawned, "had a meeting in the morning but now I’m all free and by myself.”
“I envy you,” I chuckled, “Would’ve slept all afternoon if I were you. Although, I suppose you found better things to do in LA.”
Sometimes it almost felt strange to me, how he was enjoying the warm and sunny LA afternoon sun while I sat crossed legged on my bed, the heater on it’s highest level and my body covered in layers of shirts and jumpers. In a way it seemed as if we were in two different worlds, which I suppose, we somehow were, our laptops functioning as a connecting window.
“Is that rain I’m hearing?” Harry asked, amusement in his tone. He tilted his head and his brows knotted together as he tried to look past me and to the windows in the back.
“Yep,” I replied in a sigh, “How could it be any different in ever rainy London?”
“True,” he chuckled and ruffled his hair.
An irrational wave of jealousy cursed through me as I missed touching Harry’s hair whenever he was gone, especially since he’d cut it. Now when he let me run my fingers through the brown soft strands, the tips would scrape against the skin of his head to which he’d usually groan and lean into my hand in search for my touch.
“So,” I began, “What are you up to tonight? It’s just past noon where you are, isn’t it?”
“Not really, love, no. It’s four pm.”
He muttered something concerning my poor math skills to which I chuckled before feigning offense.
“Anyway,” Harry continued, a smile still pulling at the right corner of his mouth, “I made plans to have dinner with a friend. S'gonna be fun, for sure.”
“Sounds like it,” I replied, swallowing down the wave of envy coming over me.
Of course I was glad he had a grand group of friends to keep him company, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through my head. He was my boyfriend and I wished it was me who got to spend time with him, at best, all the time! But that was impossible, of course, and I wouldn’t ever want to become an obsessive and clingy girlfriend to him. And besides, being separated made every reunion much more special.
“Who are you going with?” I asked, wondering faintly who it was he’d be spending the evening with.
“A friend. I just told you,” Harry said, dodging my question, before he stretched his arms while opening his mouth in a yawn.
“Don’t tell me you’re tired!” I scolded him with a laugh, “Weren’t you free all afternoon?”
“I was, but had to get up early, didn’t I?” Harry asked defensively.
I rolled my eyes at his words and stuck out my tongue when he pulled a face at me. We continued to banter for a while, before our conversations ranged from a band I’d gone to see a few nights ago, to a sushi restaurant he wanted to take me to once I made it to LA with him. I watched his lips move and hands gesture along to his words, as he went on telling me of places he needed to show me, the green in his eyes sparkling whenever his orbs found mine.
“…. so yeah. That cafe made me think of you instantly. We should go.”
“I’d love that,” I answered, “And I quite like how you’re planning our first trip to LA together whenever you’re there.”
“S'gonna be soon when I won’t accept a 'no’ any longer and stuff you into my suitcase to smuggle you into the country,” he jokingly threatened, mischief in his voice.
Heat rushed to my cheeks and I looked away. Harry and I hadn’t been seeing each other for too long, yet I could already tell that what we had was something special. We deeply cared for each other, though we hadn’t precisely said it and no one made me feel as comfortable to be around them as Harry did. I wasn’t someone who had lots of guys knock onto their door, and that had caused me quite a few worries in the past. But that was before Harry, and now that I was with him, my life seemed almost too perfect to be real.
I tensed when I heard a faintly familiar and female voice coming from somewhere behind Harry. He seemed to be just as surprised as I was, until his eyes found the clock on his laptop, then they widened and his teeth sank into his bottom lip. His head turned away from the camera and to the exit.
“M'in the bedroom!” he called, then he turned to me and spoke apologetically, “M'sorry, love, I completely lost track of time.”
Seconds later the woman the voice belonged to appeared behind Harry, who still sat on his mattress, and took a stand beside his bed. Her slim figure leaned down to great Harry with a quick kiss to his soft cheek and he hummed a quiet hello, his eyes fixating on me.
“Hi, Kendall,” I greeted her, lifting my hand in a small wave whilst smiling brightly.
I couldn’t deny the small knot at the bottom of my stomach, caused by how strange it felt to see her next to Harry’s bed. A bed, she’d most likely spent quite a few nights on herself, while I hadn’t. Jealousy however, wasn’t the right term to describe my feelings with, at least that’s what I kept repeating to myself. I couldn’t let myself feel threatened by her, or any girl Harry had been linked with before he met me. Their place was in the past and they didn’t matter anymore.
“Oh, Hi. Y/N,” Kendall replied, a kind smile forming on her lips and replacing the surprised expression so quickly I almost missed it. “I’m sorry I walked in on you guys. Did I get the time wrong, Harry?”
He shook his head, his eyes finding mine before moving to look at her. “It’s my fault. Simply lost track of it.”
“Oh, so it’s the two of you are going out for dinner tonight?” I asked, realization hitting me all of a sudden.
Kendall nodded and clutched her bag a little tighter. This new information caught me off guard and I couldn’t quite place whether or not I liked it. Harry hadn’t referred to just any friend of his, but his former girlfriend / hookup / friend with benefits / , Kendall Jenner. I wasn’t oblivious to Harry still spending time with some of the women he had been intimate with, and before now I had never looked at it as much of a problem. But I had never actually seen him with one of them, before and now that I knew he was going to be alone with her, it somehow did bother me.
“Y/N?” Harry spoke gently, ripping me from my thoughts.
“M'sorry, did you say something?” I asked, heat rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment.
Kendall laughed quietly and excused herself, saying she’d give us some privacy to say goodbye. Harry answered with a quick nod and turned to watch her leave. The dark hair fell in waves over her shoulder and I rolled my eyes at how her perfectly long legs carried her out of the bedroom, leaving Harry and I alone again. Only now we weren’t alone anymore, and our little world was ruined by his ex waiting for him. I refrained from asking Harry since when Kendall Jenner decided when we ended our Skype calls, and instead put on a brave face.
“So, I suppose you have to go,” I muttered, my voice laced with disappointment.
An expression of worry took over his face once he heard it and he shook his head. “No, baby, listen. I can stay and talk if you-”
“You made plans and that’s fine, Harry,” I interrupted him dismissively. Once I saw the look on his face I quickly smiled and added: “Perfect, actually. Don’t worry about it.”
Though the smile on my face was anything but genuine, I tried to make it as believable to him as I could. He shouldn’t have to worry, I’d decided. Otherwise he’d feel bad and his night would be ruined, even though he hadn’t actually given me any reason to be angry with him.
“Y/N,” he tried once more, his pleading eyes locking with mine. “Please, love. You know you’re more important to me than a dinner.”
“Of course I know that,” I replied with a quick nod, “And I’m not mad, trust me.”
By the look in his eyes I could tell he didn’t buy my reassurance and so I lifted my hand to touch my fingers to the screen.
“We can talk tomorrow if you want,” I offered calmly.
“Or tonight?” Harry proposed, his face holding a mixture of concern and hope, “once I’m back? If you’d like to, I mean. I know it’s late where you are, but we haven’t seen each other in quite a bit and I haven’t even nearly told you everything I wanted to yet, so-”
“Sure,” I agreed, a spark of happiness warming my tummy, “That would be lovely, Harry.”
“So, anyway, we thought it’d bring a great new twist to the whole thing.”
Kendall finished her story and smiled at me expectantly, oblivious to the fact that I had only heard half of what she’d said. If not less. Y/N just wouldn’t leave my mind, the image of her face tortured me. Had she been sincere when she’d claimed it was okay for me to have dinner with Kendall? The expression on her face when she’d saw my ex girlfriend enter my bedroom indicated differently, however fleeting it had crossed her face and to be quite honest, I would loath to know Y/N was alone with someone she’d been intimate with in the past. Though Kendall and I were never anything like Y/N and I were, there had still been a connection once. And that troubled Y/N.
My eyes met with the one’s of the woman sitting in front of me. I only noticed now how I had long stopped looking at her, and forced myself to smile.
“M'sorry. I think I’m a little distracted.”
“I noticed,” Kendall commented and focused her gaze onto her menu, “Is it Y/N?”
The question was asked casually, but the faint sullen undertone didn’t go unnoticed by me.
“Yeah,” I replied with a frown.
We stayed silent for a moment before I began telling her a story Jeff had told me a few days ago. She giggled at the right parts throughout it and nodded along, then went on to talk about something else. The food was great, too, and Kendall nice. Yet once I dropped her off at her place, relief flooded my entire body. This dinner had been a very bad idea, and now I knew I owed Y/N an apology. I restarted the engine and quickly drove back to my apartment, hoping Y/N wasn’t asleep yet. Though she’d agreed to wait for me to call her back, it was rather late in London by this point and she’d said her day had been a busy one. I huffed and shook my head, realizing that I spent Y/N’s free evening with my ex girlfriend. From that on, my mind went ahead and played through every possible scenario in which Y/N could be furious with me. Finally I reached my home. My laptop took its time with waking up and by the time I got to press the Skype button, my hands were sweaty. It rang and rang, but nothing. She didn’t pick up.
“Damn it,” I cursed and pushed some of my loose hair out of my face.
I tried to call her again, then tried her phone and even texted her to ask if she had changed her mind, but Y/N didn’t answer. Figuring that she might have fallen asleep already, my fingers hastily tipped one last message to her, saying that she should call me the moment she got this, no matter what time it was. Then I striped off my cloths and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the hot water for too long, before I turned it off and stepped back into the bedroom. Just when I was halfway through pulling a pair of boxers up my legs, my laptop rang. I jumped up and pressed accept, not caring that Y/N would see me whilst being very naked.
“Wow, I that’s not what I was expecting,” she giggled, a blush rising to her cheeks.
My heart squeezed at her words and I felt myself grin, loving how she reacted to my nudity.
“You’ve seen me in less, love,” I joked.
Y/N’s blush increased and she bit her lip, adding: “Trust me, I remember. Quite clearly, actually.”
I laughed at that and found myself thinking back to some of our more interesting moments we’d spent together. Though we hadn’t been separated for too long, my body ached and longed for her presence beside me.
“So,” Y/N began quietly, “how was dinner? You’re back earlier than I expected.”
“Yeah, well,” I scratched my head, “it was fine. Food was good and all.”
Y/N’s fingers played with the rings decorating them, a habit that showed whenever she was keeping some thoughts to herself. The gesture made me even more uneasy and I kept trying to figure out how I would change the subject to what I needed to know.
I bit my tongue and clenched my hands. “Was it okay for me to hang out with Kendall today?”
“What?” Y/N’s brows knotted together in a frown and her soft lips parted in surprise.
I cleared my throat. “Given our history and all that. I just worried you were mad about me spending time with her. Just the two of us, you know?”
It felt good to voice the guilt which kept eating away on my insides and at this point if she’d asked me to never hang out with Kendall on my own again, I’d consider it. Hell, I’d say yes instantly.
“Oh.” Y/N bit her lip and for a moment her eyes lowered to her fingers, still playing with them.
“Baby,” I pleaded, “please be honest with me. I need to know if I overstepped a line or-”
She took a deep breath before locking her gaze with mine.
“I’ll admit that seeing her by your side wasn’t the best feeling, but I’m sure that’s no well kept secret. Sometimes there’s that little doubt in my head, that maybe you’ll go back to,” she hesitated, “you know … wanting her. And not me.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Love, I would never-”
“Look at me!” Y/N interrupted me, a smile pulling at the left corner of her lips, “and then look at her. We’re like… the complete opposite.”
My mouth went dry at Y/N’s words and I looked down. I knew full well that she was referring to the weight difference between her and Kendall. Something I knew she troubled herself with sometimes, though I honestly didn’t pay it any thought. Never would I have assumed she’d worry about it so much. Kendall worked as a model, a successful one, while Y/N wasn’t what would be considered thin. She struggled with her insecurities and self esteem, while Kendall wore sheer see through cloths with her head held high. Yes, they were different, very much so, actually, but that’s how it had always been and how I liked it. Y/N was gorgeous. Not 'despite’ her weight, or her constant worries and insecurities, and not 'only’ because what was inside that counted, but completely and fully. Y/N was so beautiful to me, I didn’t even notice what she called her 'flaws’. Whenever she pointed out a roll on her hips, it wasn’t the first time I saw it, but she almost tried to teach me to look at it as something bad. And I hated that it was Y/N herself who pointed out the pretty features of her body and presented them as something unattractive. She never succeeded though, and later when she was asleep beside me, I kissed all the parts of her body she’d hated on throughout the day, showering them with all the love and affection they deserved. Y/N particularly hated her stretch marks. They decorated the soft skin of her stomach and hips, a few were faintly visible on her thighs. Those got extra hate, but I never payed it too much attention, because really, what for? They didn’t make her prettier, just like they didn’t make here any uglier, either. Her body was her body. And I loved every piece of it, always.
“And you wanted her first,” Y/N finished quietly, her eyes falling from my gaze to her hands.
“Y/N,” I began with a heavy sigh, but again, she interrupted me.
“Harry, listen. I thought about it and I know I’m not what’s considered pretty and thin, and yes, I’ll admit seeing you with your pretty ex-model girlfriend didn’t give me a batch of confidence, but those are my issues and it’s not your job to fix them.”
“You’re my girlfriend,” I stressed, “Of course it’s my job to make you feel good about yourself.”
Y/N smiled softly at my words and reached out her hand to touch the screen, similar to what I had done when we talked earlier today.
“I trust you,” she said simply, her sincere eyes meeting mine, warmth returning to them, “and that little worry at the back of my head will disappear soon, I know that. It’s not my right to tell you not to hang out with her anymore-”
“But you want me to,” I interrupted.
Y/N shook her head. “No, I actually don’t.”
“Y/N,” I huffed and ruffled my hair, “You confuse me.”
“Thanks,” Y/N laughed, then she turned serious again. “You value the friendship with her, so, be her friend, Harry. I’ll get over my minor issues and just have to be fine with it. They’re only there because I love you and I’m terrified to lose you to someone. Especially Kendall, 'cause seriously, could she try to be a little less pretty?”
She rolled her eyes and I bit my lip, forcing myself to let her continue.
“But I cannot look at Kendall as a threat, or else we will always have a problem to deal with. So, yeah. Hang out with her as much as you want, and our relationship will be stronger for it, I’m sure.”
Y/N’s kind eyes met mine and I could’ve sworn my heart jumped out of my chest right there. Never had I met someone as selflessly good and wonderful as she was. Happiness had my body buzzing, as I noticed the love she held for me in her eyes. I’d seen it before, but only now had I heard it from her as well.
“You love me.”
The moment she realized what she’d said her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. If I thought her cheeks couldn’t get any redder, I was proven wrong. My own were warming, too, and I chuckled as I watched Y/N hide her face behind her palms.
“Forget that I said that,” she pleaded with me, her voice muffled and she moved her fingers a bit so I could see her eyes, “It slipped out and is a completely crazy thing to say given for how short we’ve been dating.”
“I quite like it,” I admitted, “In fact I-”
“No, no, no, Harry, please don’t say anything,” she interrupted me. “That’s something to talk about another time. This was out of the blue.”
“Did you mean it, though?” I teased her, a smile taking over my face.
“Harry,” she whined and scrunched up her nose when I laughed.
“Alright, let’s talk about something else. For example how ridiculously awkward the dinner I went to was.”
The smile was still stuck on my face, even though I had ended the Skype call with Harry about ten minutes ago. We’d continued to talk after we’d resolved the little drama from earlier and soon laughed and joked like we always did. I’d apologized for ruining dinner for him, and blushed for fifth time that night when he told me how he preferred time with me over dinner with Kendall any day of the week. Now it was well past the time I’d originally planned on going to bed, but that was okay. Spending time with Harry was better than going to bed early anyway, and though I had (accidentally) told him that I loved him, the embarrassment had subsided rather quickly. Especially because a minute after his face disappeared from my computer screen, my phone lit up.
Though it’s ridiculously early to say this and should be talked about another time… I love you too.
Hope you enjoyed this one! I start to feel slightly bad for using Kendall’s name so often, but it works best given her relationship to Harry. Hopefully you guys aren’t sick of it yet. Requests and feedback is welcome!