sliding the slow split

angst prompt: Xanxus’ s/o learning he doesn’t love their child as much as he loves them, and would sacrifice their kid in an instant to save his wife. He is completely unapologetic about it

It had happened too fast for you to fight back. You weren’t used to dealing with cowards that skulked in the shadows, so when you turned a corner and the hand came over your mouth there wasn’t much you could do. You struggled, but nothing was getting you out of that monster grip. You wouldn’t have been so angry, if they hadn’t brought your son into this.

They dragged you out of your house and to some shitty warehouse in the middle of fuck all and you had no idea where you were or what they wanted. They hadn’t said anything as they threw you pretty rudely into this empty, dank room and locked the door. But the worst part of picking yourself up off the cold stone floor was seeing your eight year old son run over to you and hug you. What was he doing here? What did they want with him? They could take you, kill you, rape you, you didn’t care, but he had done nothing wrong! He shouldn’t be here! He was your precious beautiful son and why him too? You wanted to cry, could feel the tears budding at the corners of your eyes, but you couldn’t. You had to remain strong for him. He couldn’t see you break down.

You held him in your lap while you sat and waited. There was nothing you could do but bide your time and wait for the perfect chance to escape. You knew Xanxus would be doing everything he could to find the two of you, but you weren’t going to hold out hope. You trusted him and his strength but you needed to think only of yourself and your son now. You needed to be ready to fight if you necessary.

You knew if you were smart you’d wait, you’d learn more about the situation and who the enemies were, but you were panicked. You could think of nothing but getting out of here. So when you heard footsteps in the corridor you didn’t decide to sit and see what they wanted. If you had been alone you would have let them come in, say what they needed, do what they wanted (to a degree) and then when the moment was perfect, strike. But no. You couldn’t do that.

So you motioned for your son to be quiet and stood beside the door, pressed tight against the wall. And when you heard the click of the lock and the slow slide of the door, you pounced. A split second to look over your opponent and you were grabbing the knife from his belt and aiming the blade for his throat. He was too surprised. He wasn’t expecting a stupid woman to fight back, and it slid easily into his throat. Feeling the blade skid against his spine made you cringe a bit, but it didn’t matter.

The man grasped at his throat, feebly trying to stanch the flow of blood, to no avail. He couldn’t even cry out for help when he collapsed to the floor in a heap. You didn’t even wait for him to die before you started rifling through his pockets. It doesn’t take long for that kind of wound to bleed out, so he was dead by the time you came up empty. So you had a knife, and the pistol he had been holding. Believe it or not, the stupid fuck only had one clip of ammo too, so all you had to work with was eight bullets.

You called out to your son, sitting with his eyes squeezed shut. He slowly opened them, pointedly not looking at the body at your feet. “Come on,” you said, “and stay quiet.”

It was probably the first time he’d seen a dead body. He knew who his parents were, knew what Xanxus did, and he understood he was apart of the mafia, but he’d never seen it up close. You’d tried to shield him from the real aspect of death and killing as much as you could, though he’d had a bit of combat training already. It probably hadn’t clicked in his mind yet exactly what it all meant. You hadn’t wanted to expose him to it so young, but you weren’t going to sit like a damsel and wait for your husband to come get you.

You kept low, kept your ears open as you tried to find your way out of this shithole. You kept your son close, and though you knew you shouldn’t divide your attention you kept glancing back to make sure he was still there. You almost sighed with relief every time he grabbed onto your sleeve. It was surprisingly very easy to navigate. This place didn’t seem to be very well defended, with only two people crossing your path over ten minutes of sneaking around. And you’d been able to hide and wait for them to pass. Whoever these people were, you assumed they were little guys trying to make a name for themselves by fucking around with the big guys. And kidnapping and threatening the lives of the leader of the Varia’s wife and son, that was pretty big news.

When you opened that last door and were met with the outdoors, you felt your heart hammering so loud you could practically hear it. But that shout made it all come crashing down.

“Move another fucking step and I’ll blow your brains out.”

You pushed your son behind you, with the big world at your back, and found four guns pointed at your head. You didn’t hesitate. With one rough shove you pushed your kid back. “Go.”

“No mom, I can’t leave you!”

“Don’t argue with me. Get out of here. Now.”

You knew you were going to die. No chance for any different. You wouldn’t flee with him. If you did they’d shoot at your backs and they might hit your son. And he was a good kid. He didn’t argue anymore. He turned and ran, and one of the guys scowled and moved to chase. You closed the door and drew your own stolen gun, and he stopped and backed up.

“Dumb bitch. Waste her and get the kid,” were the orders.

You shot first, hoping to get one at least, but before their bullets could find their marks you felt someone shove you hard to the floor. It knocked your breath away, and you struggled to get the air back into your lungs. When you looked up they were already all dead, more bullet wounds in their steaming corpses than you remembered ever hearing.

When you looked up you saw Xanxus scowling down at the bodies. You pushed yourself back to your feet, wobbling a bit as you stood. When he turned to you you could see how furious he was by the fire in his eyes. You didn’t know that that anger was partially directed at you till he stomped over, voice echoing off the walls as he shouted, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” you murmured, looking down at your feet. You knew it was stupid, being so ready to die like that, but you would do it again. You needed to protect your son. His safety always came first.

“You should’ve waited for me!” he growled, his shoes coming into view as he stopped directly in front of you. You could almost feel his breath on your hair from how close he was standing.

“I wanted to get (son’s name) out of there as soon as possible,” you responded, finally looking up at him. He was closer than you’d thought, and you found yourself practically nose to nose with him.

“Who fucking cares? You should be putting yourself first anyway! What do you think I’d do without you?”

You didn’t really know how to respond to that, so you didn’t, averting your eyes instead. You were about to ask if your guys’ kid was okay, if he’d seen them before charging in here, but before you could Xanxus tilted your head up and kissed you hard, an arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you even closer. Usually you’d lose yourself in him, let him throw you against the wall in this shitty, corpse filled warehouse and fuck you right then. But you couldn’t, you needed to make sure your son was okay. If you just knew that he was safe, that Xanxus or another of the Varia had found him and taken him to safety, you’d be fine. But you had to know.

You pressed your hands against his chest, leaning away as far as you could while still trapped in his tight embrace. He tried to follow your lips but you tilted your head away, and you could hear the edge in his voice when he said, “What?”

“Is (son’s name) okay? Did you see him? Is he safe?”

“He’s fucking fine. The idiot shark’s got him. _________, do you even understand what you did? You were planning to die. And for fucking what? If I hadn’t showed up right then you’d be lying dead. You’re more important to me than anything, and you’d have left me all alone with that stupid fucking kid with the same eyes as you and reminding me every fucking day you’re not here anymore!”

“Xanxus, what are you saying? Our son always comes first. He should always come first.”

“If we want another kid, we can have one. You’re the only _________ there is.”

It was like thorns squeezing your chest, almost like panic spreading through your veins. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, didn’t understand that it could possibly be real. How could he not care for their son more than anything? The son they’d raised for eight years, that they’d loved and cared for, how could Xanxus possibly feel like he was expendable? There would never be another like him. He was the only one in the world, their first child together. How could he care so little?

“Xanxus, do you care for (son’s name) at all?” you asked, incredulous.

“Of course I do. But I care about you more. What’s so fucking wrong with that? You make me happier than anyone ever has, so of course I’ll pick you over my stupid kid.”

“He’s supposed to come first! Eight years of raising and you’d throw it all away? He’s your heir, at the least, shouldn’t he be more important?”

“Oi, why are you so adamant about this? I don’t fucking care if he’s my heir or not. I don’t care if you’d hate me for choosing you over him, I love you more and that’s the end of it, so shut up about it.”

Before you could answer he finally managed to find your lips again, pushing you back up against the wall as his hands came to unbutton your jeans. You weren’t aroused in the slightest, and you pulled away again, placing your hands on his forearms to stop him. “Xanxus, can we go home first? I… want a shower.”

You could see the frown on his face, but he pulled his hands away regardless. He took a half step back, and you thought he was gonna walk away but instead his hand slammed against the wall beside your head, and he leaned in till his breath was hot against your cheek. “If you think you’re gonna take that kid and run away from me, don’t. You’re mine. I’ll protect that cunt kid of ours just like I always have. But if you get yourself into this situation again, I will sacrifice anything to make sure you’re safe.”