slide furniture

IKEA FURNITURE
  • Sweden: Uhh… P't p'g C 'nt' h'l' C 't th' b's' 'f th' cha'r l'g.
  • Finland: What are you talking about there’s no hole at the… Fuck we put the leg on upside down.
  • Sweden: Wh'ch 'n'?
  • Finland: All of them. *screams and throws hands up in exasperation* Fuck, I hate IKEA furniture.
  • Sweden: *slides him a cinnamon roll* Ple's' d'n’t bre'k th's 'n', ’m n't p'y'ng f'r 'n'th'r cha'r.
  • Finland: *angrily chews on cinnamon roll*

You ever play that game in the house where you had to jump from obstacle to obstacle without touching the rug or the grass? Remember how you pretended that everything floor-related was lava? Remember how Alex from across the street slipped and broke something and his parents glared at you? Back to the lava thing: What if it was?

Hot Lava is exactly that. You get out of bed and, oh shit, lava everywhere. These circumstances require you to hop, surf, and slide around furniture and other objects. The levels start innocently enough, in a house and a school, but soon become more advanced and fantastic, turning you into Parkour Indiana Jones. It’s Mirror’s Edge meets Saturday morning cartoons, and you can sign up for the beta right now. It’s hard for fully-grown people to jump from chair to chair without later having to make a sudden IKEA trip, but luckily, video games have got your back.

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