slicing quotes

A: “Cauliflower looks like sliced brain.”
B: “…”
A: “I mean, if you sliced a human brain, that’s what it would look like.”
B: “I don’t know what a sliced human brain looks like!”
A: “Looks like cauliflower.”

Submitted by: @a-million-starry-nights

“If you act like a celebrity, then you get treated like one, and I don’t want to be. It must be exhausting to be a public commodity 24 hours a day.”

Super Silly Sportarobbie Headcanon...
  • There is one instance where Robbie loves sportscandy-related things…
  • Anything to do with baths.
    • Bath oils
    • Bath bombs
    • Bubble baths
  • Heck, drop some mint leaves into the water
  • He LOVES IT
  • He will come out smelling sweetly of apples or oranges
  • He will refute he used them at all
  • Sportacus loves this about him
    • Because he didn’t influence
    • Robbie already DID THIS
    • He already had ‘sportscandy’ scented stuff
  • Though he objects when Robbie puts actual sportscandy into the water
    • Like sliced lemons, grapefruits and oranges
    • “Tháts á wàsté øf Spörtscándy Røbbíé!” 
    • Whatever.”

“Well, I’ll tell you something,” she said. “If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story.”
“And what if your story doesn’t work?”
“You keep changing it until you find one that does.”

– on your story | Terry Pratchett, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents

Types as Quotes from my Professors

About a quarter of these are slightly ns/fw, because that’s what happens in college

ESTJ: Let’s discuss fiction, like the fiction that is our president. Am I allowed to say that?

ISTJ: We’re going to talk about ESSAYS. I had to have an extra martini last night!

ISFJ: “Mic drop!” *drops piece of chalk on carpeted floor*

ESFJ: There is nothing more mundane than Chic-Fil-A. Except on Sundays.

ENFP: I know what a Cutie Mark is, because I’m a brony.

ENTP: How am I going to follow these amazing electrical pathways through the custard?

INFP: It’s just H.D., me, and Pat the Rabbit 

INTP: That reminds me of a friend I had in college who was later on trial for stabbing someone repeatedly.

ESTP: Gas station. Causation. Castration. The only advice you’ll ever need.

ESFP: Oh my god! Virgin sex! I can’t stop!

ISFP: I am obsessed with his constipation 

ISTP: Yeah, my parents have a penis tree in their backyard 

ENFJ: You probably don’t know as many forty year old lesbians as I do

INFJ: We’re definitely moving from cunnilingus to god

INTJ: You will be eaten: repent

ENTJ: If I’d written Beowulf I’d probably have tenure

You have been telling me you’re in love. He’s the one. But today you asked me ‘how do you know if it’s real love… I think it’s real…I have never felt like this before…’

And I asked you, ‘but really, what is fake love?’

I can tell that you’re in love. It shows. The whole you is glowing and you’re looking good. I thought of that when we were sitting there talking - that you actually looked an awful lot more cuter than before…now when your whole being is filled with him.

And yes. I believe you’re in love. Even if I never have felt it before, myself, I can tell you’re somewhat different, in a good way and he’s the cause, I’m sure if it.

He’s good for you. He has changed you, to the better and you deserve some happiness, my friend, you really do.

—  @celtic-poetry, Real love(Happiness)