*i found this sitting in my hard drive. credit to Epic Rap Battle Parodies*
Jeff The Killer
Epic Rap Battle Parodies. Slender man versus Jeff The Killer. Begin.
Prepare for the arrival of the faceless king of horror. I'll knock you harder than when you fell on the bathroom floor. You're just a prepubescent child who has no meaning of fright. I scare all who happen to spot me in the night. Nothing can match my length. I spit diminishing and dark. I got swarms of arms coming at you prepared to leave a mark. Emo hair and white hoodie? No class to be found. Were your talents scarred as well? Because your rhymes are profound.
You're a pedophile chasing little kids through town. Legend says you kill but I'm the best killer around. What's with those tentacles? Ha! You're like a living hentai. A photobomb whose only popularity comes from PewDiePie. You're known from fake document, just look at Marble Hornets. Driving people crazy, no wonder you've never had a duet. You may be called a man, but I'm more killer than you. As for your face, I'll bleach it, ignite it, and give it a redo.
They call me "Slender man" because I get all them bitches. See, I'm a man, you're a kid who can't write any disses. You're a rip-off of Dahmer, and he's more effective. Your ass got burnt, bitch. You're literally defective. How the hell are you considered scary? Your balls haven't dropped. And the most action you've ever had, was at a bus stop. I don't need to try against you, you wouldn't last in my mane. You must be getting claustrophobic, now taste my static haze.
I can see right through you. You're not scary at all. You may be slender, but I'm the one who's standing tall. I'll choke you with your black tie, no lie, then beat your faceless ass until you finally die. Ahahahaha! You won't put up a fight. I'll make you need Hospice. Come at me, and I'll rip off your Slender dick. Don't give me your crap, bitch. You're done, you're old news. How sad, they made a Teletubby scarier than you.
Now hold on a second. It's Hoody and Masky. We bring horror you won't believe.
Ain't no cameras here, so that means you better leave.
We'll rip up your pages then leave you in flames.
You both have no family, now it's your turn to get maimed.
You've got long arms, and you've got no eyelids.
And both of you freaks always go after kids.
What a lame excuse, no eyes you can still see
That we will kill you just like your whole family.
Hahahahaha! It's Eyeless Jack here! So get ready for your doom. You know your death is ready when I sneak into your room. Rip out your liver, you won't be needing this in your grave. Walking around the woods at night, you think you're so brave. Slender Man, you don't scare me. Jeff, you're just a bitch. I'll make Hoody and Masky my death slaves like my buddy Mitch. I'm the Creepypasta king. You'll feel a loss to the Boss. I don't even need eyes to see that you lost.
Spread the word, you bitches lost to this number one dog. You pussies are only scary because you hide in the fog. Meanwhile, I'll restyle you hostile pedophiles to jump miles. Get ready, cause you assholes are gonna see a hell of a smile. I can't understand how you pussies are considered horror. A twig, a child, pathetic twins, and a sightless explorer. You can't beat me, I'm more badass than all of you combined. All five of you could never handle this demonic canine.
SCP-173 has escaped we're putting the foundation on lockdown.
You D-class losers wipe away that smile. I'm SCP-173 animate and hostile. I'm a class Keter threat you're all Euclid at best. Special Victory Procedures: beating you all to death. No use containing or protecting your insecurities. Blink once and you're dead, I'm like an angel that weeps. Neck snap, get back I'm having too much fun. Soon as I'm in the arena you'll all be (DATA EXPUNGED)
You shouldn't have done that time to give you a frown. I'm back for good, bitches. And this time I won't drown. I go by the name of Ben, I'm everyone's thriller. I've come to this battle to destroy, you pathetic excuse for killers. You all will suffer and I'll make sure the media will see. I'll record your deaths, then upload it as a .wmv . Half of you are just pussies who can't handle a face revealing. Now let me conclude this battle, with the Song of Unhealing.
Back from the island it's MissingNo, here to fight. I'm the bitchin' glitchin' witch who will show you true fright. I'll crunch you, prisoner, 128 times. And Smile, I'll crush your floppy disk with my glitching rhymes. Hoody, Masky and Slendy I can't make your stories worse. And Jack and Jeff? Ha! Sounds like a Mother Goose verse. You all need to watch out for when M truly arrives. You'll be destroyed like a Marowak as I corrupt your lives!
Wahahahaha! Enough with your petty rhymes, It's time for you all to suffer. My presence is so purely evil, the thought of my rhymes (incoherent words). You're hiding in your forest so no one sees you cry. And you, I'll spit bleach at and burn your insides. Hoody and Masky, you two are just assholes dressing up like little faggots as I steal your souls. And Jacky Boy, I think it's time for you to see, that nobody gives a shit about your crappy story. Smile Dog you're a puppy. I'm the mad dog of madness. You bring suicidal thoughts, but I'll bring you to sadness. SCP nobody knows what you are. Some experiment covered in feces and scars. Ben, you shouldn't have done that. I'll diss you to death. You're a statue of Link who won't take another breath. Hell no, MissingNo. You're just a little bitch. Call yourself the master of corruption, but you're nothing but a glitch. Nine lives taken at my demonic laughter. You're in my realm, bow down to Zalgo, your master.
Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic rap battle parodies!