sleezey

Last Call

Prompt:  Captain Boomerang calls one of his good friends, who he occasionally hooks with, from the bar and asks them to pick him up because he’s to drunk to get home

Prompt Request # 19: @sequinedk - “Can you give me a ride home, I’ve been drinking?”

Pairing: Digger Harkness X Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, sexual suggestions, nothing to crazy

(Thanks for the request - I love writing for my main man Digger and have been looking for an excuse to write another story with him as drunk as can be haha! Hope you like it!)

Originally posted by stardvsts

“Goddamn, sweetheart, it sure did take ya a while now didn’t it?”

“A while? You ass, more like 15 minutes!”  

Long time friend, and part time lay, Digger Harkness called you from some sleezey bar down town to pick him up. It had come to last call and when he had walked outside to go back to, well wherever the hell he was staying while he was in town, and the curly headed fool realized he had no idea where he even was. So, he went back inside and given you a quick ring on the bartenders phone.

“Now, com’ on love, give the Captain a big ol’ kiss, right here on the lips–”

“Shut the fuck up, Digger. You do realize it is 3 AM and I was in bed.”  Groaning you coiled your arm around his big torso and threw his arm over your shoulder. The Aussie was a little off balance so you figured you’d held him get to the car.

“Yea, but you answered for me, now didn’t ya.”  Grinning from ear to ear the Captain let out a booming laughter, which earned an irritated sigh from you. 

“Let’s just get you back to my place before you puke in my car, alright, Digg.”

Opening the car door you pulled your arm away from his side so he could get in on his own. “Can you buckle your seat belt?”  You asked him, a hint of sarcasm in your voice. You had a right to be fairly annoyed considering how you were literally in bed when this drunk called you.

“Actually, if you could help me with one thing–”  Reaching out he grabbed your arm and pulled you in so you were nose to nose.  “We gon’ fuck when we get back to your place, then?”

Your face quickly flushed with a dark red tint as you, very easily, wiggled your arm from his drunken grasp.

“Shut the fuck up and put on your seat belt, you’re drunk, Digg.”

Trying to calm down from that sexual comment you walked over to the drivers seat and started the engine. All the while the notorious Captain Boomerang chuckled like a moron in his seat.  

“I didn’t hear a no~”

“Digger, there’s no wa-”

“I don’t wanna hear that negative shit now, you know I make ya feel real good.”  He reached over an put one of his big meaty hands on your lap. “And it’s not just meaningless sex, ya know.. You know you’re my babe, even if I can’t make it official, you’re my babe.” He gave your knee a gentle loving squeeze before withdrawing it.

A little touched by his drunken nonsense your lips curled into a small smile but you stayed quiet and continued driving.  Just listening to the Aussie mumble on and on was enough to pass the time for you.

“Always be my favorite babe…That you will be..”

anonymous asked:

Even more digger headcannons?

ya’ll don’t know I LITERALLY think about him 24/7 so I have lots of thoughts on him. Here are the other three I’ve done lmao (x) (x) (x)

Originally posted by heartofdevastation

Even MORE Captain Boomerang Head Cannons! 
(Yes, seriously)

  • He doesn’t give a shit about what other people think and because of this he has no filter
  • So, because of this, if you are out and about with him prepare for a bitter, sarcastic, and downright rude social commentary
  • Like, he won’t say it directly to the person but he’ll lea in and whisper rude shit in your ear about other people
  • You see an old lady in crocs he goes off -“This bitch over there can’t be serious, can she? Who the fuck wears crocs these days?”
  • You see a mom out and about with like 8 children who are all obviously hers, “Will ya get a load of that, love, I should do the world a favor and go give her a life time supply of rubbers.”
  • Is an actual asshole who will be quietly sitting in a park and a cluster of pigeons will gather around him so he pulls out a boomerang, throws it at them, and laughs like a moron when they disperse in fear 
  • Has a BIG soft spot for cute animals and young children (Espicially litte girls)
  • Like, when he see’s a little girl with a Pink Unicorn his heart MELTS
  • I mean, tbh anytime he see’s anything PINK his heart melts
  • Pink stuffed animals, pink cars, and shoes, he LOVES IT on other people… Just not on himself (Not manly enough for him)
  • Will walk into a convenient store and walk out with like 7 things he DID NOT buy
  • He’d snicker when he got home and pull a twinkie, 3 cans of soda, and chips out of his coat
  • Eats actual garbage
  • He could literally eat McDonalds, Timtams, and beer for the rest of his life and he’d be fine with it
  • Loves meat probably?
  • LOVES SPICEY FOOD
  • HE JUST LOVES ALL FOOD OKAY HE LOVES TO EAT
  • Will eat 5 servings of spaghetti
  • Can’t cook anything and depends on take out and microwaveable dinners a lot 
  • Hates getting cleaned/dressed up but he does occasionally have to do so (Like, if he wants to go to the library to get city plans for something. It’s not like he can just roll up in his normal attire, it would draw attention to himself)
  • Like, he’s a normal looking guy when he dresses down. Like, if he took a really good shower, combed his hair, and put on jeans and a t-shirt he blends into any crowd really and he knows this and just goes out and about at time
  • Is a flirty bastard
  • Will come sit next to you in a bar and give ya that big ol’ sleezey smile of his and say something like, “And what are you up too, darling?”
  • Think’s he’s hot and is down to fuck 100% of the time tbh
  • Like, if you are on your period it doesn’t matter to him - “Doesn’t bother me, just means your bodies all tender in shit, let me take a go, darling.”
  • Will fuck you anywhere at anytime
  • In a bar bathroom stall, in an alley, in the woods like for real any place where he can get you alone and naked he will put his dick in you
  • Very possessive
  • Will slap your ass and kiss you deeply, maybe a little bit of tongue, in public just to prove a point
  • If you tease him he will pin you against a wall, grinding his big dick against you, and kissing you roughly until you’re literally begging for him to fuck you
  • Is probs uncircumcised??
  • Idk, I just picture him with this massive uncut cock with a lot of pubic hair (He’s a hairy man, like hair is EVERYWHERE)
  • Loves to fuck you in the bed most of all
  • Is totally a bed hog
  • Like, if he goes to bed before you he will fall asleep sprawled out in the middle of the bed, arms and legs extended out to all the different corners of the bed
  • Snores?  
  • Not like loudly, unless he’s really tired and sleep deprived then yea it’s loud, but when he’s sleeping on a regular basis it’s just loud breathing really
  • Talks to you in his sleep and will have an ENTIRE conversation with you in his sleep but he won’t remember a thing
  • Likes a big comfy bed with a bunch of pillows and a big feathered comforter 
  • Likes hot milk before bed? Like, he won’t do this for himself but maybe it’s something his mom used to do so he low-key loves it. So if you brought him a glass of warm milk before bed he’d turn into that sweet affection Digg that we all love

I can’t believe ya’ll asked for a fourth one wtf

This girl who used to talk put me down about my weight constantly hit me up today. I don’t think she realizes she was one of the main reasons I started to diet.

Right after I mentioned having a girlfriend she started hinting around at being friends with benefits….bye