a/n: HELLO! I had this idea while listening to the song “Stomach Tied In Knots” by Sleeping With Sirens, so you’ll find some of the lyrics on the dialogues? lol, I hope you enjoy it <3 x.
prompt: (y/n) & Shawn’s relationship is hanging by a thread after she cheated on him. (kinda based on the song “Stomach Tied In Knots” by Sleeping With Sirens.
Shawn didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry when he got her message saying she wanted to talk.
She had been giving him space after the disastrous events happened, but after three weeks of complete silence from his part she started to get anxious.
She knew that she didn’t have the right to feel anxious at all, or to feel a tiny bit annoyed because he hadn’t given her a sign or something, but she couldn’t help it.
She couldn’t believe the events that had taken place that night. She was the perfect girl. She was quiet and loved her boyfriend dearly, so it didn’t make sense to her when she found herself on a stranger’s house, naked.
On the other hand, he still couldn’t fully process the fact that his girlfriend had cheated on him. simple as that.
He wanted to hate her with every cell on his body, but he just wasn’t able to. He wanted for her to disappear and leave him alone, trying to pretend their relationship had never happened in the first place, but he knew that wasn’t possible as the only thing replaying on his head was the night he found out.
“I can’t believe you finally got your own place, it’s amazing.” she said admiring the view of the imposing city in front other.
“I can’t believe it myself,” he chuckled, circling his arms around her waist and nuzzling his head on her neck. “I’ve missed you.”
“So have I, honey.” she giggled, leaving a quick peck on his arm.
“Pizza should be arriving soon, wanna go to the bedroom? We can continue watching Grey’s.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“You should give up that show already, everyone dies.”
“Lexie Grey is still alive so everything’s good.” he said and she pursed her lips.
“Sure thing, babe.” she kissed his lips before heading to his new bedroom.
She took a minute to breathe.
She was acting like nothing had happened only a couple of days ago when Shawn was still on tour and the truth was that it was eating her up. She was choking with guilt and words that wanted to leave her mouth but they couldn’t.
Shawn was everything she ever dreamed of. She already knew that she wasn’t enough for someone like him, but she was too selfish to admit that out loud because she loved him, with every bit of her being.
But then everything happened so fast…
She took off her shirt to change into one of Shawn’s and slip inside the bed, but she didn’t notice that he was making his way inside, and was able to notice her bare front.
Two purple marks still very visible between her breast and collarbone.
She watched his eyes widen in surprise. It was like someone had punched him right on his stomach, because suddenly it felt like he wasn’t getting enough air and the walls were closing in on him.
“What are those?” he asked with careful eyes and a slightly shaky voice.
“Shawn…” she said quickly putting the shirt back on.
“What are those?” he asked again but this time his voice wasn’t shaking, instead it was full of rage.
“Shawn, you have to listen to me.” she said desperately.
“Oh God, you did it.” he whispered and stared at the figure in front of him almost as if he was afraid of her.
“You have to let me explain.” she could feel her eyes fill with tears already and panic was flowing on her veins.
“Get out.” Shawn said dryly.
“No. Please, Shawn.”
“(y/n), I’m serious…” he was going to continue but her voice interrupted him.
“Please listen, Shawn…”
“I said get out.”
He didn’t need to raise his voice, because for some reason she could sense every feeling his words were carrying.
She tried to look for his eyes desperately, but he was standing next to the bedroom door, waiting for her to leave.
“Please, at least tell me that we’ll talk at some point.” she begged him.
This time he rose his voice, making her flinch.
But she did leave the room and suddenly, the sound of a door closing filled Shawn’s ears.
He didn’t cry, he didn’t scream.
He didn’t move.
Three weeks weren’t enough to erase the images of the purple marks on her body.
Twenty-one days weren’t enough to erase the feel in his gut; the feel of everything he had worked so hard for two years was crumbling right in front of his eyes, and he couldn’t do anything about it.
His stomach was tied in knots, because he was afraid of what he’d find if she wanted to talk tonight.
But he ignored it, texting her to meet him at his place whenever she felt like it.
And it didn’t take her more than an hour to get to his new condo; a place he had pictured to make happy memories with her, not that the first time he had her over he’d have to see the remains of her night with someone that wasn’t him.
He slowly opened the door to reveal her figure.
It wasn’t the imposing figure he had grown used to, she had made herself small. That was the way she was dealing with the guilt of making the man she loved suffer.
“Hi.” she whispered, nervously tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“Come in.” he said harshly. way more than he expected.
“I’m glad that you called… I really wanted to talk to you.”
“I didn’t call, you did.” he told her dryly, trying to look uninterested. “You have your time to explain or whatever.” he said placing his body against the door.
“Can we sit down?”
“You can if you want to, I’m good here.” he said trying to compose his tough facade.
“Shawn, I’m so sorry.” she said with tears in her eyes.
“Dammit, Shawn! Can you please act like you give a crap about me.” she said hiding her face on her hands.
“Oh, I have to give a crap about you, but did you give a crap when you were fucking someone that wasn’t me?” he spat and his feelings started to show.
“I don’t know how it happened, you have to believe me.” she said getting up from her seat, walking towards Shawn.
“Don’t,” he placed his hand in front of him. “Don’t come near me, please.” he said with pain evident on his voice.
“I missed you so much, I couldn’t deal with you being away for so long…”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now? You know what, (y/n)? I missed you, too, but I didn’t go to screw the first girl who appeared on my way.”
“I love you. It was one bad call, please. I don’t want nobody else, I love you.” she begged.
“You cheated on me.” he said with his voice shaking with pain, rage and a feeling he wasn’t able to decipher.
“And I’ll never forgive myself for that, hell, I can’t even live with myself right now” she choked a sob. “But please tell me we can try again.”
“It would never be the same. I don’t trust you anymore.” he shook his head and didn’t notice her body coming closer.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to regain your trust.”
“It’s not that easy.” he released a humorless laugh.
“Baby, I’m still the person you fell in love with. It’s me, can’t you see it?” this time her body was inches away from his and her hand softly caressed his cheek.
Shawn reacted to the touch, involuntarily leaning his head to her warm hand as his eyes closed.
“I only have myself to blame, but please tell me we can start again.” she whispered, her own eyes closed. “
“(y/n)…” Shawn whispered and opened his eyes, only to see her tear stained cheek and her beautiful eyes closed.
“I can’t live without you.”
The feeling he hadn’t been able to figure out before suddenly overtook his body.
We’ve turned our hands to guns, trade in our thumbs for ammunition,
I must forewarn you, of my disorder, or my condition,
‘Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what’s left of my invested interest,
Interested in putting my fingers to my head,
• • • • • • • •
The solution is, I see a whole room of these mutant kids,
Fused at the wrist, I simply tell them they should shoot at this,
Simply suggest my chest and this confused music, it’s,
Obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist.