sleeping person

okay so I achieved more than I have in the past more than a week (bc sick + stuff) with drawing, and I think just, trying to get myself stuck into it has helped. And I’m starting to feel a little bit better mentally in some areas than I was since this afternoon, so that’s 👍

I’m trying my best, at least

ah dang okay so I was doing just dandy for like three months and now apparently my paranoia has decided to fuckin spike out of nowhere like oh ok we’re doing this again are we, we’re riding the rollercoaster of doom, lovely, just lovely, feels good, feels organic, how do I get off

Ryker slept in his crib last night!

This mama didn’t even faulter and did not cave! He never came back to bed with me, even though I was exhausted. Yaaaay for a stubborn mama! 😂

but in all honesty, I could use like 3 naps now. Lol. Or like 5 cups of coffee. 😴☕️

I put him down to bed at 7pm. He woke up at 9pm. But I got him back down pretty quickly. And then I went to sleep myself around 10:30pm.

He woke up again at 11, 11:20, 11:40, 12, 12:15, 12:30, 12:50, 1:05, 3:45, 5, and then lastly woke up for the day at 6am. So I am tired.

Probably gonna nap while he naps today. We will see! Either way, day one of crib training COMPLETE. hopefully it doesn’t take him more than a week to get accustom to it!

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

This sounds dumb but I’ve decided I’m allowed to like languages without learning them. I’m allowed to learn languages just for the sake of it. I don’t need to reach C2 and have the linguistic prowess of Shakespeare in everything I do.

I mean sure there are some languages I want to reach ‘fluency’ in, and it’s something I’m working toward. But this is a hobby. This is fun. I don’t even take myself seriously in my native language, so why am I so uptight about perfection in my target languages?

Time to take a chill pill and just enjoy the journey.

  • any cis male band member: *wears nail polish*
  • fan: O H MY GOD. GENDER ROLES WHO??? WHEN UR FAVE BREAKS EVERY GENDER ROLE EVER. UGH MORE GUYS IN NAIL POLISH PLS. I STILL CANT BELIEVE TAHT HAPPENED SNKDOXJSJSJWKSK YES MORE MEN BEING FEMININE THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS LOOKS LIKE